“Aa- aaah!” Xiumin moaned. He tried his best to not to moan by bit his lips until they bleed, but he failed miserably. Not long after that, heavy pants replaced the moans.

He looked at his wrist which was full of new and old cuts. One of them was a cut that he just cut and it was bleeding badly.

Xiumin just eyed his wrist with a pair of blank eyes. Those eyes didn’t have any feeling such as anger, hatred, happy or sad. They were as empty as his heart.

It was neither confusing nor weird if Xiumin’s heart was empty. When Xiumin was a child, he was a cheerful and always-smile kid. Whenever he went to somewhere, he would greet and gave a smile to everyone he met, even to evil people. Those evil people turned into kind and useful people, thanks to Xiumin’s warm smile.

But since that day, Xiumin stopped smiling. He stopped greeted people. He stopped everything he always did. If he met people, all they got was only cold stare and blank face. Xiumin never and wouldn’t forget the day. Yes, the day when his parents die due to a bullet pass through their heart.

It was Christmas day. Xiumin’s parents leaved him when he was only 7 years old and what made it worse, they passed away on Christmas. Since Xiumin was a kid back then, of course he loved Christmas! He had always waited to celebrate Christmas with his parents, grandparents and his relatives because there was a smile on their face. Plus, he got many presents from his beloved family.

In the end, the day that he loved, turned into the day he hated once he heard about his parents’ dead. Xiumin didn’t smile again because his parents are the people who taught him to do so, so why should he smile? The people who loved his smile had gone, so why should he smile? His parents had die, was it something that he should smile about?

No, the answer was obviously a ‘no’. He loved his parents. He missed them. He had always wanted to cry, but he didn’t want to break his promise. It was hurt. Whenever he tried to smile or be patient, his heart ached. He didn’t want to try again. However, that’s what he promised to his parents before the day they passed away.

Xiumin had promised to always smiles brightly.

Xiumin was always smiling.

But it’s not the same as the smile that was used to tug on his lips.

His smile now was not bright.

Xiumin stared at the small Christmas tree that he just decorated. It was a habit and also the thing his parents and him did a week before Christmas.

The Christmas tree is pretty with ribbons and colourful balls everywhere. The bright yellow star which was on top of it made it looked more beautiful.

But… “Why does it feel like it’s lacking something?” He asked to himself.

A moment later, when he was thinking, his phone ringed. A word said ‘Luhan’ was on the screen, caused Xiumin to sigh. Nonetheless, he answered the call.

What first word came out from Luhan’s mouth was neither a simple ‘hello’, nor a question asking whether he’s fine or not. Instead of those words which were always heard and ridiculous (according to Luhan), Luhan uttered, “Photos.” Then the call suddenly ended.

If he didn’t understand what Luhan meant, that meant the whole universe exploded now.  Sighed, he grabbed his camera and a jacket.

Click!

Click!

A small smile appeared on Xiumin’s lips as he eyed the pictures. He didn’t know why he felt something bloomed in his heart. For sure, he liked the feeling.

Xiumin turned around. And he saw a beautiful sight.

A woman was walking with both of her hands holding a guy and a child’s hand. They looked… happy.

Xiumin sniffed. He missed his parents.

However, as Xiumin just about to cry, a snowball landed right on his face, completely swept off the smile.