I wish I could hear the music like you do,' Junmyeon said almost wistfully.

The piano melody ended with a discordant bang as Kyuhyun slammed his hands down onto the keys. Junmyeon's eyes flew open and he resisted the urge to run from his place beside the piano. It wasn't respectful or right to run away from a teacher, no matter how scared he was and so he held his ground. But he wanted to run away so badly. He eyed Kyuhyun's bowed head warily.

'You don't know what you're asking for,' Kyuhyun spoke after a brief silence and Junmyeon opened his mouth to ask another question, but a heated glare from Kyuhyun shut his mouth. 'You don't understand.'

Junmyeon was full of questions, and he had thought his first one was simple and innocent. But he guessed not. He shuffled his sheet music awkwardly, waiting for Kyuhyun to collect himself.

It took a minute or two, but Kyuhyun finally managed to stop the shaking in his hands, just small tremors that Junmyeon might not have noticed, but he himself certainly did. He put his hands back on the keys, letting the familiar feeling of ivory calm him.

'From the top.' And he began to play again.

The melody that flowed from his fingertips was beautiful.

-

Kyuhyun checked his schedule book, absently noting the number of students remaining for the day's voice lessons. His students were slowly but surely dwindling, word of his unpredictable nature was travelling. But a few still stayed, stubbornly believing that he was the best teacher. He didn't say it much, but he was grateful. Grateful that he had at least, a steady salary to survive on.

Junmyeon was one of them. The kid wanted to be a singer. Kyuhyun sighed. He knew what that dream felt like, or rather almost what it had felt like. He had it in his grasp for awhile, just a brief period before it slipped away and he resigned himself to his fate as a voice teacher. Maybe he wasn't meant to fulfil his own dream but to help others do so instead.

He still kept copies of his single releases at home. Just a few. To remind himself that he had achieved at least, something that a thousand others would not, even if he wasn't a superstar.

It wasn't all bad. People still called on him once in awhile to record a soundtrack here or to provide backings there and he relished the work. He just wished he was the main one instead.

But it wasn't meant to be. He knew he couldn't do that now.

He tapped his pen absently against post it note of an unfamiliar name that had been provided to him by his singer-composer best friend, slotted in for his first lesson a week and a half from today. New students were hard to come by now. People were often old students or friend of a friend. This one was interesting. His friend had practically begged him to take the kid on, claiming that he was the only one who could help him. A new up and coming star it seemed, in desperate need of some voice training.

Checking his watch, he reckoned he still had about ten minutes before the next student showed up. He stood up and stretched, loosening the muscles cramped up from sitting at the piano too long and stepped outside, breathing in some fresh air. The washroom was located at the far end of the corridor and he hurried towards it, unwilling to waste too much time in case he kept his student waiting. He did always prize himself on his work ethics.

The water felt cool against his hands as he washed them quickly. He patted some onto his face, waking himself up. He'd spent too much time the night before looking over a recent composition and fell asleep to fitful dreams of unfinished melodies. Kyuhyun straightened up, made sure he looked presentable and left the washroom, quickening his steps back towards the studio when it hit.

The ringing erupted in his ears and he staggered like a physical force had actually hit him. Kyuhyun clutched at the walls desperately as he felt the hallways tip around him. He couldn't even hear his own breaths, but at the rate his chest was heaving, he was pretty sure he was gasping. Clenching his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut, he willed the attack to pass quickly. He couldn't afford to miss the next lesson. The ringing continued, pitched at an alarmingly high note that sent tendrils of pain throughout his head. Kyuhyun would have cried out, if he was a lesser man, but he wasn't and he stuffed a fist into his mouth to muffle any noises he might make.

'Kyuhyun hyung?'

A voice. Kyuhyun's head snapped up, he didn't even realise that the ringing had passed, he had been too focused on hiding the pain. The pain hadn't stopped though, only reduced to a slow, simmering headache that he was certain he was going to pay for tonight.

'Are you okay? I've been calling you since I ran out from the studio earlier,' Ryeowook helped him up slowly. Oh yeah, it was Ryeowook's lesson now, Kyuhyun thought faintly. He pressed his fingers to the wall briefly, finding his balance again as they returned to the studio.

'I'm fine,' Kyuhyun nodded, the movement still paining him badly. 'I just didn't hear you.'

-

It was hereditary. His family seemed to be blessed with extraordinary musical gifts, but also cursed with the genetic predisposition to lose their hearing anytime after they've turned twenty five. His sister had been an artist with the violin in her younger years but had thrown it all away just a few years in. Ahra was adamant that she wouldn't learn anything that she might regret after her hearing, if it did happen, left her.

Kyuhyun had wanted to follow in her footsteps but Ahra shook her head, told him to simply do what he felt was right for him. Stubborn kid Kyuhyun had refused to go for piano and singing lessons for a full month, short but torturous for him. He couldn't hold out. He had to have music in his life. Besides, it wasn't certain that he was going to lose his hearing. He could be the odd one out that escaped the traitorous genes.

As it turned out, Ahra was the lucky one.

But Kyuhyun wasn't sure if he could have lived without the music in his life.

He probably couldn't have.

Twenty seven years of music before the first bout of tinnitus sent him desperately running for their family doctor. The sorrowful look on his face told him everything he needed to know.

'How - how long?'

'A couple of months, years maybe. I can't say. Depends on how fast the nerves connecting your inner ear to your brain decide to degrade. I'm sorry Kyuhyun.'

That night, he'd gone home and smashed his stereo onto the ground, sleeping exhaustedly amidst the wreckage of his studio apartment.

The next day, he went out and bought the exact same one. If he was going to lose music and his hearing and everything else in a few months (maybe years), he was going to make certain he didn't waste a bit of it. Music played constantly in his apartment, even when he was sleeping. The soft strains of a new classical piece, a new ballad, an old pop song, a new pop song that failed, he listened to everything. He never wanted to miss out on anything, good or bad. He reckoned in awhile he wasn't going to hear it again anyway, he might as well hear every sound or music or noise he possibly could.

The door to the studio opened and he shook off the heavy weight on his shoulders and looked up. It was his first meeting with the new student and he wanted to make a good impression. Maybe he could at least, salvage his reputation so people wouldn't curse him after he had gone deaf. But then again, he wouldn't be able to hear it anyway.

The man stepped in carefully, tentative, his shoes squeaking on the hardwood floor. Peering in, he spotted Kyuhyun at the far corner at the piano and he perked up considerably, smiling and stepping in further.

'I'm looking for a Cho Kyuhyun? Changmin sent me.'

'That's me,' Kyuhyun gestured for him to step in further. 'I don't bite, promise.'

The man laughed. 'That's not what others have been saying. Changmin even told me not to run out after the first ten minutes, but I'll believe you for now.'

Kyuhyun felt the edges of his lips crook up in a small smile before he schooled his features into a mask of professionalism again. 'Yes well, I made Changmin cry once. That's probably why.'

'You'll have to tell me about it some day.' Kyuhyun nodded sagely. Maybe some other day.

'So,' Kyuhyun reached for his book on top of the piano and leafing through it. 'Lee Sungmin, correct?' The man nodded in affirmation. 'So tell me about yourself and why you're here.'

'Well I'm thirty this year,' Sungmin began uncertainly. Two years older than him, Kyuhyun noted down. 'I work as a guitarist slash pianist slash bassist slash whatever Changmin's company needs me to be musically. I just fill in for whatever they need me for. And I was just messing around in one of the studios after hours and Changmin heard me, got the idea that they should debut me as their new star instead of just backing music. I'm not entirely sure he's right but he made me come anyway.'

His fingers drummed on the cold surface on the piano. So, not just another hopeful singer then. He studied the unsure student. 'Well, Changmin's not usually wrong. And I'll find out for myself soon anyway.' He nodded and Sungmin returned it hesitantly. 'The question now is, if you're going to work hard even if you're not sure this is what you want.'

The nod was immediate. 'I will, I swear I will,' Sungmin was earnest. 'Changmin's been nothing but good to me and I wouldn't want to waste their time or money. I'm just not sure if I can match their expectations.'

'Oh I'm sure we'll find out.'

-

Kyuhyun woke up, shaking and gasping for air. It had been a terrible nightmare. One in which he had roamed the streets near his house, visiting familiar places. But when he had opened his mouth to greet the security guard, Kyuhyun hadn't been able to hear his own voice. Oh he could feel himself speaking, and he could see the guard replying but he couldn't hear any of the exchange. It had been strange, his brain struggling to fill in the sounds but everything simply fell short.

He had ran and ran and ran until he woke up, screaming just to hear his own voice.

It took him a minute or two to realise he couldn't hear it and he leapt out of bed, knocking over the first heavy thing he saw, which was the desk chair.

He felt the vibrations in his feet before the strained sounds of the muffled thump reached his ears and Kyuhyun reached out for the matching table, clearing all the books onto the floor frantically. He barely heard a thing.

Almost everything in the room that was breakable was dashed onto the floor and he collapsed by his bed, chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath. It was another few seconds before he registered his own laboured breathing filling his ears and he nearly cried in relief.

It wasn't time yet. But it would be soon.

-

'Better, a lot better,' Kyuhyun looked up from the keys and nodded at Sungmin. 'Your voice control is improving and so is your range.'

Sungmin was exhausted but managed a weak smile. 'But?'

'But you still lack confidence.'

Sungmin sighed. 'I just really don't think I'm cut out for this. I prefer to be in the background.'

'Well if Changmin insisted, he must have a lot of faith in you,' Kyuhyun frowned. 'I trust Changmin. As infuriating as my best friend is, his judgment is mostly right.'

'What if I'm the minority?'

'Well get over it,' Kyuhyun snapped. 'Some people are meant to be stars and some aren't. Apparently, Changmin thinks you have it in you. So the least you can do is prove him right! Don't waste your time and mine by looking down on yourself,' Kyuhyun snorted angrily before looking up into Sungmin's wide eyes. 'Self-pity does no one any good. It just wastes everybody's time.'

He pushed off and up, walking towards the door and calling back. 'I will be back in ten minutes. I expect you to have the song down perfect when I get back.'

The door slammed behind him and he winced slightly at the sound. He may have gone a little overboard, he thought as he gripped the cold counter in the bathroom. The kid was an amateur, different even. He never wanted to be a star. The others that came through had the motivation, Sungmin was signed up by someone else. Maybe he had to change his tactics to get through to Sungmin. It had been a hard but rewarding six weeks for them.

Kyuhyun decided he should be nicer, or try at least.

Walking back into the studio, his hand paused on the door handle, ears perking up at the sounds of a melody inside.

He stepped inside.

Sungmin was at the piano, fingers slowly coaxing a melody from the keys and singing along to match the melody. Kyuhyun folded his arms and leant back against the door, quietly appreciating Sungmin's efforts at reading his sheet music. He laughed a little. Not many people understood the little annotations and notes he made on his own sheet music.

'Hard to read no?'

Sungmin spun around, almost leaping off the piano bench. 'I'm - I'm sorry. I just wanted to practice until I was up to your standard.'

'It's fine,' Kyuhyun strode over. 'Not many people can read my music.'

'I make similar odd notes on my own sheets. It was easy figuring out your little notes after studying them altogether.' Sungmin made to get up, 'I should - '

'Wait,' Kyuhyun thought about his resolve to be nicer and sat down, before patting the seat next to him gingerly. 'There's no need to be so formal. You - you can sit here.'

Sungmin thought about it before smiling gently. 'I'd like that.'

-

Sungmin improved by leaps and bounds after that. He wasn't sure if it was his pep talk or his allowing of Sungmin to sit by him to watch him play or whatever Sungmin had practised at home but his voice was reaching star quality. His bitterness was almost eradicated by his pride in his student. But only almost.

He ended Changmin's call, quietly amused at his friend's excitement at their possibility of debuting a new star. Biting his lip as he watched Sungmin practice scales over by the piano, Kyuhyun wondered what was it about Sungmin. Exactly what was it that drew people to the young man. He was quiet, unassuming, shy, uncertain but there was just something.

Sungmin looked up and smiled questioningly, beckoning him over to ask him a question and Kyuhyun found his foot moving on their own. Wasn't he supposed to be going to look for something somewhere outside? He couldn't remember.

The lesson sped by, Sungmin's singing only punctured by occasional pauses for Kyuhyun to correct his pitch or to point out where he could improve his breathing technique. Sungmin collected his things after the lesson had ended, humming the last song Kyuhyun had taught him under his breath. Kyuhyun had to resist the urge to smile, and to slap himself; he really wasn't behaving like himself lately.

'You know, you haven't yelled at me lately,' Sungmin said conversationally.

Kyuhyun's brow creased confusedly, 'Do you want me to yell at you?'

'No no God no,' Sungmin laughed. 'I was just making an observation.'

There was silence for awhile.

'So me not yelling at you,' Kyuhyun asked. 'It's a good thing, right?'

'Of course! When would not yelling ever be a bad thing?'

Kyuhyun shrugged. He wouldn't know.

'What if you grow up to be a grumpy old man just yelling at kids to get off his porch in the future huh?'

Kyuhyun's heart clenched. No he wouldn't make it to that day. So he just shrugged again. 'I'm already a grumpy old man.'

Sungmin laughed as he snapped the clasp on his bag shut. 'That's true.'

He lingered at the door of the music room and watched as Kyuhyun shut the piano lid lovingly. The uncertainty was back in his eyes again, Kyuhyun noted. 'Do you - um - do you want to go get something to eat?'

Kyuhyun didn't mean to stare. It was just that his students never wanted to socialise with him outside of class. They were also too afraid that he might yell at them in public. It was a genuine concern actually, he'd done it before. That had not ended well. Junmyeon had cried.

'I mean, on - only if you're hungry. Changmin mentioned that you didn't have many friends, so - so I was just wondering, maybe even after the lessons stop, we could be friends?' Sungmin hastily added, a hopeful expression on his face.

He really shouldn't. He really should stay away. When his hearing is eventually ripped from him, it would be hard enough facing his family and few friends that he had with the pity he knew for sure would be etched onto their faces, Kyuhyun really couldn't bear another one.

So he wasn't quite sure why his mouth opened and he said 'Yes' instead of 'No'.

-

One meal turned into two, then turned into a week's worth, then a month's. A few months later, Kyuhyun was still constantly confused as to why Sungmin kept asking him to have a meal together and even more confused as to why he kept agreeing. He'd make up his mind one day to turn Sungmin down then completely change his mind later that day. A small niggling voice in his mind told him that if he kept this up, the levels of affection for people that he kept formally under control was going to increase exponentially for Sungmin.

But why shouldn't he be friendly with Sungmin?

'Sungmin is nice,' Kyuhyun mumbled to himself, drawing strange looks on the train. 'Sungmin is hardworking, Sungmin tries to be friendly with me even though I'm mean. Sungmin is caring. Sungmin is a good person. He'll make someone very happy some day.'

The words turned sour and died in his mouth. His mouth twisted unhappily and he stared down at his hands. After his lessons with Sungmin ended, he supposed he wasn't going to see the man anymore. He could always initiate a meet up, but he wasn't that sort of person. It wasn't in him to be spontaneous.

Kyuhyun shook off the negative feelings.

There would always be other students.

But there was only one Sungmin, the traitorous little voice said.

Kyuhyun squashed it down in the back of his mind and there it would have to stay forever.

Unfortunately, forever seemed to only be about a week and a half. Their lesson had run late because Sungmin insisted on perfecting a song and Kyuhyun had nearly opened his mouth to stop him but bit his lip regretfully. 'You're going to hurt your throat,' he replied gruffly instead.

Sungmin shrugged, too exhausted to notice his grumpiness. 'I can do it.'

'You will hurt yourself.'

'No I won't.'

Watching as Sungmin ran through the song again, Kyuhyun noted the exact point at which Sungmin's voice cracked and his shoulders slumped defeated before straightening back up again. 'One more time,' he said determinedly.

Kyuhyun huffed exasperatedly and snatched the sheet music up, stuffing it into his bag. He shut the piano lid as quickly as he could without slamming the precious thing down and grabbed Sungmin's things before grabbing his hand as well and tugging him out of the practise room.

'Where are we going! I'm not done practising!'

'I'm your teacher and when I say the lesson is over, it is,' Kyuhyun shot back. 'There's a limit for everything and if you hurt yourself, Changmin will never forgive me for destroying one of his bright new talents! Now we are going out to eat some cold noodles to soothe your tired throat before you work it beyond repair,' he growled as he locked the door behind him. Spinning around, Kyuhyun glared at Sungmin. 'And if you add chilli paste in it, I will never forgive you.'

Sungmin gaped at him, after Kyuhyun had stopped yelling it had honestly come as a shock to see him yelling again, and it wasn't until they were waiting for the elevator down to the ground floor that he found his voice. 'I - I - I'm speechless,' he said almost incredulously. 'I honestly don't know what to say.' He shook off Kyuhyun's grip on him, clutching his hand to his stomach, still a little stunned.

'You don't have to thank me,' Kyuhyun sniffed. 'I'm just doing what a good teacher would do. Any competent idiot would be able to tell that you've pushed your voice too far for the day, and I'm far from incompetent.' Sungmin opened his mouth but Kyuhyun glared. 'If you say I am incompetent or protest in any way, I'm never speaking to you again.'

Sungmin shut up.

They rode all the way down to the first floor in silence. The doors opened but neither of them moved. Sungmin was biting his lip and Kyuhyun was still glaring a hole into the ground. Frustration was all that filled his mind at the moment, frustration at himself for snapping and frustration towards Sungmin for not knowing how to take proper care of himself. This was exactly what he meant on the bus that morning. He was mean. And a mean person didn't deserve someone as happy as Sungmin.

It almost made him miss a step when Sungmin leaned closer and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before dashing out of the elevator with an undignified squeak.

Kyuhyun stared after him, open mouthed. He gaped unattractively, unsure if he was supposed to step out of the lift, call after Sungmin or press a hand to his burning cheek. He tried to do them all at once and his body jerked unattractively before returning to its frozen state.

The doors slid shut silently.

Kyuhyun was still gaping. It was like someone had bored a hole in skull, stuck a metal rod inside and charged his brain with electricity. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do and yet his mind was in a blur. Maybe, just maybe, Sungmin who was like sunshine, thought he was a person worth being nice to. And maybe that kiss had woken feelings in Kyuhyun that he wasn't ready to deal with yet. He choked just a little at the fleeting mental image of the two of them holding hands. The stress he was inflicting on himself built up and he felt his ears start to ring a little.

'No,' he whispered. 'No, no, not now. No.'

The doors slid open and he blinked at Sungmin. Sungmin who stood there uncertainly, with his finger still on the button, holding it open for Kyuhyun.

They stared at each other, and Kyuhyun felt his ears ring and his heart lift.

'So,' Sungmin coughed and stepped to the side, his ears a dangerous red. 'Naengmyeon?'

-

Kyuhyun found himself glaring again as he stopped Sungmin from order the noodles with chilli paste, opting instead to order two bowls of noodles without any extra sauces. Sungmin pouted and Kyuhyun gritted his teeth, focusing instead of dulling the ring in his ears and settling the butterflies in his stomach. As if concentrating any harder would do anything besides making his face all red. The embarrassment was enough for that.

Sungmin fiddled with his chopsticks, eyes darting around nervously. The side dishes came and the waitress left and they were still staring at everything else except each other.

Tipping his head back slightly, Kyuhyun rested his head on the wooden partition behind him, silently mouthing the words to the song playing over the sound system.

Sungmin laughed and his eyes opened instinctively. Sungmin laughed harder at his wounded expression. 'I'm not laughing at you honest. Just - do you know what you're singing?'

To Kyuhyun's horror, he realised he was mouthing the words to RaNia's Dr Feel Good and he coloured an angry red. Like he wasn't embarrassed enough already. Thankfully, the food came then and he busied himself cutting the noodles, clearing his throat awkwardly.

It seemed to have broken the ice though and Sungmin relaxed a little bit, grinning away at him as he put noodles into his mouth. They made casual conversation, as they always did, talking about the music scene in general, or some of Kyuhyun's other interesting students. Sungmin usually remembered some funny anecdote about some previous celebrities he had worked with too and Kyuhyun found himself relaxing as well, slipping into a familiar groove that he and Sungmin had developed after a few meals together.

The relief was palpable, and he could see that Sungmin felt it too.

It wasn't until they had paid and they stood outside in the cool night air that Kyuhyun felt the awkwardness settle around them like a suffocating blanket again.

Sungmin shuffled from foot to foot, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his hood. 'Aren't you going to ask me?'

'Ask you what?'

'Ask me - ,' Sungmin closed his eyes before opening them again slowly and warily. ' - ask me why - why I kissed you.'

'Oh,' Kyuhyun shoved his own hands deep into the pockets of his pants and kicked at the ground. He had never felt this awkward in all his years. 'Do you want me to ask you?'

Sungmin pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. 'Changmin did say this was going to be difficult.'

Kyuhyun was confused. What did Changmin have to do with all of this?

Sungmin stepped closer and Kyuhyun's insides erupted into fluttering butterflies again. Or well, it was more like turning into liquid fire that was eating away at him. He stepped away and the fire consuming him eased. Kyuhyun was not ready for this, he was all ready to deny all the hints and big neon signs that were blinking in his face because he was not ing rea dy for this. He took another step back and Sungmin stepped forward determinedly again. The mental image of them holding hands flashed through his mind again and his eyes flickered briefly to where their hands were just inches apart.

'Could you stop doing that?' Kyuhyun muttered and Sungmin laughed.

'Okay,' Kyuhyun swore Sungmin's eyes twinkled then. 'I'll just do this instead.' He leaned forward quickly, catching at Kyuhyun's arm to make sure he didn't back away again and planted another determined kiss on his cheek, lingering this time.

Pulling back but not letting go, Sungmin searched Kyuhyun's face for some sort of reaction, for any reaction at all. Kyuhyun blinked furiously, looking down at that expectant face. He wasn't sure if he could move with the searing heat that was within his body, at his insides. And he could feel it, he could feel the heat radiating out from the point at which Sungmin's hand touched the crook of his elbow.

'Oh,' Kyuhyun said most eloquently, a small lightbulb going off inside his head. That had been nice.

Sungmin laughed, the sound only increasing the fire within him that seemed intent on consuming him. For a moment, Kyuhyun flashed through all the reasons why he shouldn't do this. The future point in his life where he would be deaf, where he would be a burden on everybody he ever knew. How he was a grumpy and rude man undeserving of any kindness because since when had he shown any to anyone else other than his family. Kyuhyun shouldn't do this. It wasn't right.

But then Sungmin's hand slipped from his elbow to his hand, threading his fingers through with his while staring at him expectantly. And it scared Kyuhyun how much he liked it. The mental image barely compared to the honest and real warmth that was Sungmin's hand in his. It was silent and unspoken, Sungmin's message. I like you. Please like me back. And the way that simple touch made his whole body tremble scared him, scared Kyuhyun right down to his core but against his better judgment, and because all of a sudden, he felt like he desperately needed to do so, Kyuhyun leaned down and pressed his shaky lips to Sungmin's cheek, sending a silent message back.

If he had thought Sungmin's smile was bright before, it was nothing compared to this.

Oh.

-

Kyuhyun was new to all this. He had hardly ever dated, almost never in fact; unless you counted a five day girlfriend in grade school. Choosing to resign himself to watching from afar, Kyuhyun had never let anybody close enough to read him like Sungmin did. It wasn't that he couldn't date, he simply didn't want to. It would have been too much hurt to bear if, if and when his hearing left him, his lover left him as well.

But now he found that it would have been too much hurt to bear if he had let Sungmin walk away there and then in front of the noodle shop. Unsure as he was about his feelings, he felt them growing every single day. It seemed sudden, and the logical part of Kyuhyun told him that this was irrational. He was changing in ways he did not understand. Or did he always have the potential to always be like this, locked away under a cold exterior that he put up simply to protect himself. He couldn't decide which was better. Until Sungmin appeared with a small smile or a soft kiss and then he knew the answer. But it was still all happening too fast. Sometimes he had to take a break just to simply wonder at the changes in his life at such a short span of time.

On the other hand, Kyuhyun didn't have much time left. Please, he looked up into the sky on a clear day, before looking back down at Sungmin rushing towards him, late for their date. Please let this last forever.

And when he took Sungmin's hand in his, it felt like it was going to.

-

On hindsight, Kyuhyun knew he should have expected something to happen. He wasn't sure what, but he knew he should have expected it. Everything was going entirely too well. Junmyeon was improving in his singing by leaps and bounds, encouraged by the lack of scolding coming from Kyuhyun nowadays. The boy had told him that auditions from the major entertainment companies were coming up and he found himself genuinely wishing him luck. If he succeeded, his name would be linked with Junmyeon's, a bright new star; and Kyuhyun discovered that he was okay with just that.

An arm squeezed his waist before leaving it and he smiled down at Sungmin, who beamed back at him. They were supposed to have class today, but Sungmin had begged so hard to go to a passing fair that Kyuhyun didn't have the heart to resist him. Turns out Changmin had dropped by unexpectedly to try and get a report on Sungmin's progress but he had found the studio dark and locked up.

'You've changed. Dating Sungmin hyung for the past month or so has changed you,' Changmin hissed over the phone. 'Who are you?'

'I'm Cho Kyuhyun,' he laughed. 'And I'm - ,' Kyuhyun paused mid-sentence to hide his laugh behind his hand. Sungmin had tried to wheedle one of the clowns into giving him a balloon by acting like a child but it evidently wasn't working so he shrugged and walked back to Kyuhyun's side. 'I'm happy.'

There was a dramatic gasp and Kyuhyun laughed again. He was happy, the feeling almost foreign to him. For once in his life, he felt like there were no burdens or worries on his shoulders.

Sungmin grabbed the phone, peering at the screen before greeting the caller happily. 'Hi Changmin - Yes I've kidnapped him for the day. No I am not a friend- monster, you're crazy. No, I am not blind for liking your best friend. He's really cute when he's grumpy okay!' He listened intently for awhile before in a sharp breath and crying into the phone. 'You take that back!'

Kyuhyun watched on curiously before putting his head nearer to listen to the conversation. Apparently, Changmin had accused Sungmin of being a seducing minx and was wailing for his best friend and hot new star back. Rolling his eyes, he plucked the phone from Sungmin's hand and took over the conversation. 'I resent the implication that I cannot be happy.'

'It's not an implication. It's a fact. One day I'll have to witness this for myself.'

Kyuhyun snorted. 'Not a chance. Not unless you got Sungmin with you. You've got nothing on him.'

'I resent that!' Changmin screeched into the phone before Kyuhyun ended the call vindictively.

He wrapped an arm around Sungmin's shoulders carefully, still not wholly onboard with the idea of public displays of affection as they walked through the fair.

Standing aside semi-patiently as Sungmin cooed over a stuffed puppy, Kyuhyun's mind wandered as he vaguely registered Sungmin putting the puppy up next to his face and insisting they looked alike. Apparently, it was a prize in a game and had to be won by shooting three targets in some sort of moving game.

Kyuhyun dutifully paid and watched supportively as Sungmin picked up the toy rifle and balanced the of it against his shoulder. His eyebrows arched higher and higher in surprise as Sungmin hit all three targets with perfect aim and he laughed a little in disbelief. Sungmin certainly was a surprise.

'There!' He plucked the little toy happily from the storeowner and plopped it onto Kyuhyun's shoulder. 'Kyuhyun, meet Cacao, you guys look the same.' He leaned in conspiratorially, towards the side where Kyuhyun didn't have a stuffed puppy on his shoulder. 'But I'll always like you more, Kyuhyun, cause you're cuter. Even when you're being a grouch.'

Oh it, he grabbed Sungmin around the waist and kissed him full on the mouth, the sound of Sungmin's laughter ringing in his ears.

it was worth it.

-

Sungmin usually crashed at his place for a few hours before going home to his own place, claiming that since Kyuhyun was a famous music teacher, his place was nicer than the dump that Sungmin's house was. They cracked open a few sodas before laughing at the predictable drama that was currently airing on television. Somehow - Kyuhyun reckoned it was Sungmin shoving his cold toes under Kyuhyun's calves which resulted in Kyuhyun trying to do the same -, they had started a tickle war and Kyuhyun was winning. Sungmin was more ticklish and Kyuhyun ended up sitting triumphantly on Sungmin's thighs, poking him regularly just to watch him erupt into giggles.

The small exertion had caused all the blood to rush to his head however, and to his horror, he felt the familiar tingling start. Kyuhyun rolled off Sungmin and sat on the ground heavily, clutching at his head. The attacks had left him alone for awhile, and it seemed like this one was the accumulation of those he had missed over the past few weeks.

It didn't go unnoticed.

'Kyuhyun?' Sungmin watched him from the sofa, slowly sitting up as it was clear that Kyuhyun wasn't playing anymore. 'Are you okay?'

Kyuhyun barely heard him over the ringing, and his head instinctively drooped lower and lower as the pain built up and took over.

Panic was similarly overtaking Sungmin as he had never seen one of Kyuhyun's episodes before and he grabbed at Kyuhyun's wrist, pulling it from where he was grasping at his hair, his voice getting louder. 'Kyuhyun, what's wrong?'

The ringing was getting louder, he could barely focus on anything else.

'Kyuhyun!' Sungmin was shaking him now, frantically trying to get him to look at him when Kyuhyun knocked his hands away.

Staggering to his feet, Kyuhyun struggled to focus on Sungmin's person. Of course it would happen now, of course. It would come when he was finally happy, to remind him of the life that he could never lead, of the fame that he could never have, the happiness that he could never even hope to hold on to. The past few weeks seemed like a mere memory as his chest heaved from his laboured breathing, reality crashing down upon him as he realised what he could never have.

'Get out.'

'Kyuhyun,' Sungmin tried to get up from the couch. 'I just want to help - '

'Get out now.'

'But - '

'I said get out!' Kyuhyun screamed. He knew he was screaming but it seemed like he was almost whispering. The only reason he could even tell was Sungmin was still saying was because he had trained himself since young to read lips, for the inevitable day that he might have to rely on that instead of sound. Kyuhyun had hoped that he was the one spared from this genetic horror, but he realised now that he had accepted his fate since he had first learnt of it. 'Get out before I throw you out!'

Kyuhyun looked deranged, his eyes wide and pupils blown. Sungmin's eyes were similarly wide but more from fear and shock than anything else and he was still stammering when Kyuhyun grabbed his arm and things and threw them out the door, kicking his shoes out as well. A small mercy, that Kyuhyun still had it in him to restrain himself from pushing Sungmin too forcefully as well, simply pushing him out as gently as he could before slamming the door behind him.

Sungmin beat against the door futilely, confused and afraid. Something was wrong he knew it, this wasn't the Kyuhyun he loved and recognised. Something was terribly wrong. The sound of glass smashing and something thudding against the wall emitted from inside the apartment and Sungmin resumed his frantic knocking. Kyuhyun was going to hurt himself at this rate.

But he couldn't get the door to open. So he did the next sensible thing he knew. Grabbing his things off the ground, he dialled a familiar number on his phone as he ran down the stairs, hoping against hope that he was fast enough.

-

Kyuhyun didn't remember the last time he was this angry. Not even the day that he had found out that he was going to be genetically predisposed to be cursed after all. Because now it seemed like the universe was conspiring against him to now take away two things that he loved. He hadn't even gotten a chance to tell Sungmin that he loved him. My God, he loved him so much. The way he would smile as he watched Kyuhyun play the piano, or smile shyly as Kyuhyun complimented him on his improvements. The way they would kiss or hug or just cuddle on the couch after dinner. It wasn't just that, it was the way he made Kyuhyun feel alive again for the first time since his diagnosis; that there was something actually worth living for, that his life wasn't just destined to ing . Sungmin was ing sunshine for God's sake, and now, even that was going to leave him.

And he drove him away.

He yelled in manic rage as he flung the heavy vase against the opposite wall, his despair growing as he realised he couldn't even hear the smashing of the porcelain. Glass smashed, wood broke in half and the floor was littered with debris. And when the madness passed tomorrow, he was going to be left alone, again.

Grabbing the stereo, the same stereo that he prized, the second one that he had ever bought, and threw it on the ground, Picking up the pieces, he flung them again. If only I had never known music, if only, if only, if only, if only I wasn't talented, if only, if only I had never met Lee Sungmin.

Kyuhyun grabbed the next nearest thing available to him, hands grasping the varnished wood and raised his hand to dash it against the ground. Choking, he lowered his hand as his fingers recognised the texture. It was a framed photograph of him and Sungmin at the studio. It had been taken a week after they had started officially, awkwardly on Kyuhyun's part, dating for real. Sungmin had insisted. He didn't usually take photos or selcas, but it was a special occasion therefore they had to commemorate it. Kyuhyun had discovered early on that it was hard arguing with Sungmin. It was easy before, when he could play the grouchy teacher, but now when not even Sungmin knew exactly how much power a few words of his could hold sway over Kyuhyun's decisions, Kyuhyun was putty in his hands. It was just a simple picture, the two of them posing side by side with their cheeks pressed against each other, smiling, happy.

Kyuhyun slid through the ground, pressing his fingers over the glass that covered their faces. The glass streaked with red. His fingers were bleeding, he thought blankly, but he realised he didn't feel the pain. The large stabbing pain in his chest was worse. Maybe the pain would grow and he would die the next day, free from the painful life that he was going to live without Sungmin by his side. Not after the fear he had seen in those beautiful brown eyes.

He clutched the photo frame to his chest and cried for the first time since he found out that he was going to be deaf soon, for the rest of his life, alone.

-

The car sped through the roads, ignoring most of the red lights save those which had speed cameras attached, weaving dangerously through the sparse traffic and Sungmin clutched at his seatbelt, babbling frantically to Changmin.

'This just happened?' Changmin said urgently. 'How long ago?'

'I don't know,' Sungmin was growing more panicked by the second. He didn't understand Changmin's questions. Calling him seemed to be the right thing to do as Changmin had rushed down from his apartment complex right away. He hadn't picked up the first few calls and Sungmin had sped in his car all the way to his house, which seemed to be another right thing to do since Changmin had barked for him to get into the passenger seat and had driven off as soon as he buckled himself in. 'Maybe thirty, forty five minutes ago? I can't remember. Changmin, what's happening?'

Changmin sighed, turning a corner sharply, eyes trained on the road. His complex wasn't that far from Kyuhyun's, but he had wasted precious time already. It was late but he should have picked up that first call. Nobody called this late unless it was urgent. He just hoped it wasn't too late.

'Has Kyuhyun ever told you about his family?' He asked as he navigated an intersection, flipping off an angry truck driver without even slowing down.

'No, it never came up. Is it important? Of course it must be, otherwise you wouldn't ask me about it.'

'Sungmin hyung!' Changmin spun the wheel before righting it. 'It's not the time to panic.'

'Speak for yourself!' He yelled back. 'Now tell me what's going on!'

'Kyuhyun has a genetic disease.'

And Sungmin felt his world stop.

-

They burst into the apartment with Changmin's spare key, gasping in horror at the wreckage that used to be Kyuhyun's gorgeous apartment.

'It's worse this time,' Changmin whispered.

Sungmin looked at him worriedly.

'The last time he broke down, he only smashed the things in his room. And most of them were easily replaceable. It's become something of a habit for Kyuhyun.' They picked their way through the debris carefully, carefully avoiding sharp glass and splintered wood. 'Most of his family end up the same. But Kyuhyun took it a lot harder because he believed that he might be the exception. It turned out to be his sister instead.'

'But where is he?' Fear was growing, and Sungmin itched to turn the lights on so he could search for Kyuhyun better but he didn't want to scare him.

Changmin motioned to his bedroom and they made their way there, Sungmin carefully using a pillow to brush away excess glass from their path before dropping it.

Cursing, Changmin dashed to the corner between the bed and the wall, gently shaking Kyuhyun. 'Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun can you hear me?' He turned around, 'Sungmin hyung, get a damp cloth and the first-aid kit; he's bleeding.'

Sungmin dashed off, fear deadening his legs and making him stumble as he ran a washcloth under some cold water. He realised just how out of his depth he was when he realised he didn't know where the first-aid kit was. He swore at himself, realising just how little Kyuhyun had opened up to him. They had been happy, but Kyuhyun had hidden so much from him. Forcing himself to think logically, he headed for the bathroom, opening up the cabinet behind the mirror before dragging the heavy box out.

He had to force his hands to stop shaking before he could take out the small tube of antiseptic and bandages and hurry back to the bedroom.

'Kyuhyun,' he had never heard Changmin's voice this soft before. 'Hey man, come back to me, that's it, that's it. Can you hear me? Has it passed?'

Sungmin's heart lodged in his throat and he stopped short where he was, numbly waiting for an answer.

'Changmin,' Kyuhyun said groggily. 'What are you doing here?'

'Sungmin hyung called.' The judgment in Changmin's eyes was clear and Kyuhyun shut his own to block it out.

'Did he leave? Did I scare him off?'

'Was that why you pushed me out of your house?' Sungmin stepped forward, trembling now not with fear, but with anger. 'Did you want me to leave?'

Kyuhyun lurched to his feet, the photo frame he didn't know he was still clutching clattering next to him and Changmin pleaded with him to sit back down. He swayed dangerously against the wall and Changmin hoisted him up against him. 'You should leave. You shouldn't be here.'

' you.'

Changmin's head snapped up and he hissed reproachfully. 'Sungmin hyung!'

'And you too!' Sungmin threw the bandages at him and they bounced off Changmin's arm. ' you both for not telling me. you both for scaring the out of me. I thought you were dying! Did you care that I nearly killed myself trying to get you help? Or are you going to wallow some more in your self pity?'

'Self pity is all I've got!' Kyuhyun snarled, shoving Changmin away as well and stalking forward through the wreckage until he was in front of Sungmin, staring him down. 'Tell me what else I've got going in my ing life that isn't going to leave.'

Sungmin stared him straight in the eye, with the barest hint of a tremble in his bottom lip. 'You've got me.'

He watched as emotion clouded Kyuhyun's eyes before clearing just as soon as it appeared. ' you.'

Sungmin's fist met his jaw and he went reeling back against Changmin, who caught him, staggering against the bed. He really couldn't care that Changmin was cursing him out in both Korean and Japanese and probably two other languages.

'How dare you.'

'What the - ' But Kyuhyun didn't get to finish his sentence before Sungmin was yelling again.

'How dare you stand there and mock me when all I've done is try to help you!'

'Well, how dare you give me false hope! Everyone leaves in the end! All I'm going to be is a burden to everyone I've ever known!'

Sungmin strode forward, grabbing Kyuhyun's chin and forcing him to meet his eyes. 'Do I look like I'm about to go anywhere?' Kyuhyun blinked harsh angry tears out of his eyes, fists clenching. 'I'm going to stick to you like a leech and if you don't like it, you can ing deal with it.' Grabbing the damp washcloth from where he had thrown it on the bedspread, he pulled Kyuhyun's palms towards him and began cleaning the blood from Kyuhyun's hands angrily.

Changmin slipped out from behind the pair, sighing exasperatedly as he shut the bedroom door behind him. Those two had a lot of issues to work through. But in the meantime, he surveyed the damage around him, he supposed he could do some cleaning.

-

The thunderous expression never left Sungmin's face as he applied antiseptic over Kyuhyun's numerous cuts, before bandaging them up efficiently. Surveying the rest of Kyuhyun's body, he noted minimal scratches and surface wounds that he could treat later without worries. Small mercies that Kyuhyun had been wearing socks he supposed, otherwise his feet might have been cut up pretty badly too. But most of the damage were on his hands.

Kyuhyun had been quiet up till the point where Sungmin had secured the last bandage.

'Are you being silent too, or can I just not hear you anymore?' He muttered gruffly and Sungmin thought back to their second lesson. He had been too afraid to sing out loud enough for Kyuhyun to hear at the far reaches of the room. They had been testing his voice projection. Kyuhyun had said something similar too, but the dual meaning behind the words hit him now, and he clutched at Kyuhyun's hand just a little tighter than was comfortable, and he withdrew as Kyuhyun winced.

'I'm not talking to you.'

Kyuhyun shrugged listlessly and watched as Sungmin picked his way carefully to the bathroom to rinse the washcloth, watching the water run pink with his blood.

'Good practice. I won't be able to hear you in the future anyway.'

Sungmin came storming back out. 'Stop saying that.'

Kyuhyun looked up with a challenging eye. 'It's not like it's not true.'

'I'm not saying it's not. But stop saying it like it defines your life. Open your eyes, you dip. You're not the only deaf person in the world, or even going to be the last one. So grow up and learn how to deal with it because I'm sure as hell not going to be learning sign language by my own ing self.'

'Sign language?' Kyuhyun's mouth fell open.

'That's right , we're going to be going for lessons now, in preparation. Don't - ' Sungmin cut off his protests with a strong squeeze to his shoulders. 'Don't say no, please. I don't want to be reduced to scribbling endless notes on notepads when I want to talk to you in the future.'

Kyuhyun looked down at his hands, swathed thickly in bandages. He wondered if he had hurt himself, cut himself deep enough to affect his piano playing.

He looked back up at Sungmin.

'Please.'

He looked back down at his hands, and imagined not being able to talk to Sungmin again. Kyuhyun felt tired, for the first time in his life, he felt bone-deep tired.

'Okay.'

-

The first lesson had them learning how to spell letters with their fingers. Kyuhyun had some trouble because of his wounds but he managed, barely, without them splitting open again. Sungmin took notes diligently. Kyuhyun watched as Sungmin interacted with some of the deaf kids in the class next door and wondered briefly how they learnt what words or syllables sounded like. What was a world without sound, without music? What was a world without being able to hear Sungmin laugh?

He'd nearly bolted the minute they'd stepped through the door but Sungmin kept a strong grip on his arm, and a reassuring hand on the small of his back, slowly but surely propelling him forward to a seat.

Everything in Kyuhyun was screaming at him to run, to hide, to pretend that this problem never existed. His fingers trembled in the middle of spelling out a letter and Sungmin looked over in concern.

Warm fingers closed over his own, slowly opening and closing his own fingers to form out the proper shape.

'It's like this,' Sungmin said softly, taking care to press gently so he wouldn't hurt Kyuhyun.

The liquid fire poured out of Sungmin's fingertips and raced up his arm. It was back, the familiar feeling was back and he stared desperately at their teacher, willing the feeling to go away. He couldn't deal with this right now.

Sungmin slowly let go, scribbling down a few notes before following the teacher's actions again and Kyuhyun struggled to move his own fingers.

His fingertips still felt like they were on fire.

-

Sungmin kept a careful eye on Kyuhyun as he stirred the pot of soup, watching him as he turned over a page of music and grasped a pencil determinedly in his hand. His phone buzzed and he pulled it out.

How is he? Any better?

He looked up again, watched fondly as Kyuhyun put his pencil to paper before replying Changmin.

He seems a little better. He picked up some music sheets again.

Sungmin kept his phone before dishing out the hot soup into a large bowl and carefully carrying it out to where Kyuhyun was, so he wouldn't have to move around too much. 'Some ginseng chicken soup, to get your strength up.' He moved back to the kitchen to get some smaller bowls and utensils. When he came back out, Kyuhyun was staring at him, almost like he didn't believe he was here.

'What?' He asked a little shortly.

'I'm just waiting for you to disappear.'

Sungmin gave an indignant cry. 'Did you not hear me when I said I wasn't going anywhere you little - '

'You can't be real,' Kyuhyun mumbled. 'Who would stay with me after what I did? I'm despicable. Just let me be miserable.' He picked up the utensils that Sungmin had dropped onto the table and waved him away. 'You don't have to learn sign language with me anymore.'

'Don't you get it,' Sungmin slid forward onto his knees in front of Kyuhyun, tapping at his thigh impatiently. 'I'm not leaving.'

'Everybody leaves.'

Sungmin pinched him and he yelped. 'You're not dreaming. And I'm. Not. Leaving.'

Kyuhyun looked at him, utter misery in his eyes. 'What if you do, in the future, when all this - ' he waves at his ears, 'disappears?'

'Don't you get it,' Sungmin was close to tears with frustration, but he refused to cry. He never let anybody see him cry, ever. 'I love you. I'm not leaving.'

The silence fell around them and Sungmin's heartbeat thudded in his ears. He didn't mean to confess like that. He had just been so overwhelmed with fear and frustration that Kyuhyun didn't understand that it all just sort of slipped out. The tiny teardrop that landed on the back of his hand had him frantically looking up and rushing to brush Kyuhyun's tears away.

'Don't cry, oh God, don't cry. It's fine if you don't feel the same way.'

'But I do,' Kyuhyun choked out. 'I do, I do, I just - why?' His fingers reached across to lace with Sungmin's tightly, gripping on for dear life. 'Why me, Sungmin hyung?'

Sungmin nearly laughed. Trust Kyuhyun to use honorifics for the first time in a situation like this. He shrugged gently, smiling honestly for the first time in a long while. 'There is no why. I just do.'

Kyuhyun lowered his head onto Sungmin's shoulder, crying openly as the fire returned, racing through his veins and lighting his skin up wherever Sungmin's fingers brushed against him. 'I love you too.'

'I know,' Sungmin eyes crinkled up as he turned his head to kiss Kyuhyun. They hadn't kissed or touched much since the incident, and Kyuhyun kissed him like he was a drowning man searching for air, pressing his hands gently to the sides of his face and pulling him up so he could kiss him some more.

Sungmin's phone buzzed again but he ignored it, wrapping his arms around Kyuhyun's neck and dragging him down so he could kiss him deeper.

You're good for him, Sungmin hyung.

-

They fell into bed together that night. They hadn't been able to stop touching the entire night, whether it was a simple linking of pinkies or hand over thighs or a simple pressing of shoulders. It was like they'd been deprived of physical contact for too long and now they couldn't be apart. Television time had been interrupted when Sungmin slung a thigh over Kyuhyun's, straddling him and rising up on his knees to kiss him. He gasped into the kiss as Kyuhyun raked his nails down his back, leaving faint red trails under his shirt. Whimpering as Kyuhyun's mouth left his and on the side of his neck, Sungmin wrapped his arms tight around Kyuhyun's neck, panting hotly and burying his face into Kyuhyun's hair, inhaling the scent of him and storing it in his memory.

Kyuhyun sank his teeth into soft skin and Sungmin cried out, his grip tightening as Kyuhyun just that little bit harder, turning the skin purple and continued just to draw out those small cries from Sungmin's lips. Gripping at Sungmin's thighs carefully, Kyuhyun pushed off from the sofa and carried him into the bedroom, laughing softly as Sungmin kept trying to chase his lips for a kiss.

'Don't,' he chastised gently. 'I might drop you.'

'Don't care,' Sungmin replied petulantly and how could he do anything but kiss him when he used that tone of voice.

Placing Sungmin gently down on the bed, he hovered above him on his forearms and knees, breathing heavily as he stared down at him. 'You are so beautiful.'

Sungmin laughed breathlessly, flushing down to his chest, where Kyuhyun could appreciate it, since he had pulled at the collar earlier until he could see the ridges of Sungmin's collarbones. 'Don't, I'll get embarrassed.'

'You're beautiful when embarrassed,' and Sungmin laughed again, covering his face.

Kyuhyun pulled his hands away and kissed him again, cupping his face gently as he drank him in, gently at his bottom lip and swallowing his gentle sighs.

'Are you sure?' Kyuhyun's fingers lingered on the hem of Sungmin's shirt uncertainly, eyes watching him carefully.

Sungmin covered his hands with his and nodded slowly. 'More than anything else.'

Clothes were divested and dropped off the side of the bed, skin pressed against skin and Sungmin muffled a cry of arousal in Kyuhyun's shoulder, biting harshly at the sweat slicked skin, leaving a mark of his own matching the one on his neck.

Kyuhyun threaded the fingers of his right hand with Sungmin's left and raised it above Sungmin's head, pinning it down and Sungmin squirmed, helpless against the burning arousal. Kyuhyun felt light-headed.

'Do you trust me,' he nosed along Sungmin's jaw. 'Do you trust me like I trust you?'

Sungmin's free hand found his jaw and he strained up to press another kiss to his lips. 'Always.'

-

Things returned to a semblance of normalcy after that. Except that Sungmin had shown up at his doorstep with all his possessions one day and announced that he was moving in. Kyuhyun hadn't complained. He had become so used to Sungmin's presence that it physically pained him not to have him by his side.

Look at him now, he thought cynically. The old Kyuhyun would never have believed this. But it was all for the better.

The pair of them were getting pretty good at sign language lessons too. They had taken to having secret conversations in Changmin's face when the three of them met up. It had taken Changmin two lunches and one coffee date to realise what they were doing.

'Are you guys talking about me?' He asked suspiciously in the middle of telling them how management was considering debuting Sungmin next year, wondering if he should be taking sign language lessons as well, if not to communicate with Kyuhyun in the future, then to understand when his best friend was probably ing about him.

'No,' Kyuhyun sipped at his Americano, spelling out the letters for 'little ' against the table where he knew they all could see.

Changmin nearly went cross eyed trying to figure it out while Sungmin tried to keep from choking on his piece of chocolate cake.

Two weeks later, Changmin socked him in the stomach when they'd met for a quick dinner. 'I searched it online you er, I know what you called me,' he snarled before signing the letters for 'bastard' in his face.

Kyuhyun grinned at him.

He wasn't fully at peace with the whole going deaf thing, but he was getting there. The tinnitus was getting more painful, but the doctor had given him medication to manage the symptoms. The frequency they couldn't control, but Sungmin was always there to soothe him. If not at that moment, then at the end of the day, when Kyuhyun would confide in him, with Sungmin assuring him with a kiss and a long hug that he wasn't going anywhere.

The worst part of the whole thing actually, he groaned, had been breaking the news to Junmyeon. The kid had cried for ages when he had heard, blubbering about how in the future when he got famous (he had gotten accepted to one of the big three companies, Kyuhyun forgot which), Kyuhyun wasn't going to be able to hear him sing. They had gotten through all the 'there-there's' and 'you were the best student I ever had' (not entirely a lie, one of the best) when Sungmin had stepped in for his lessons. Kyuhyun had simply sighed and waved him over to help.

Sungmin had even accompanied him to one of his doctor's appointments, gripping his hand tightly whenever there was a medical term he didn't understand. It amused him beyond belief to wake up in the middle of the night and see Sungmin sitting at the desk table with a large dictionary in hand, Googling the words he didn't understand. (He'd eventually lured him back to bed with numerous kisses and a distracting hand up his shirt.)

Sungmin was beyond everything he'd ever hoped for. He'd even introduced him to his parents, told them how much Sungmin had done for him. Sungmin's eyes hadn't been able to return to their normal size from his wide-eyedness at their apparent wealth.

'You didn't tell me you were filthy rich!' He punched Kyuhyun in the arm the minute they had gotten into the car.

'Ow! It's not like I hid it or anything!'

'Well there's a difference between being rich and filthy rich,' Sungmin pouted and crossed his arms.

It wasn't until they'd pulled out of the driveway before he had brightened up. 'Does this mean you can buy me that awesome new electric guitar that just came on the market without me having to worry that we'll eat ramyun for the rest of the month?'

'No, Sungmin.'

Sungmin went back to pouting.

Kyuhyun grinned as barely ten seconds later, Sungmin reached out to place his hand on top of his own on the gearshift, humming as he did so.

-

The end came six months, three days after their reconciliation. Kyuhyun had been counting, he wanted to make sure he gave thanks for every extra day he got. Sungmin had been doing the same too in secret, on his own calendar that he kept in his planner.

Kyuhyun woke up with the sun in his eyes, patting around the bed for Sungmin before remembering that he had promised to make pancakes last night. Smiling happily, he watched as the birds settled on the branches outside the window, red and blue birds. Pretty, he thought absent-mindedly. It didn't hit him for a few seconds that the birds were obviously singing, opening and closing their mouths.

His heart stopped.

He lunged for his phone, turning on the sound option and playing the first song in his music library. Putting the phone up to his ears, he prayed, to every god he knew and those he didn't. But it was no use. His hearing had left him. He dropped the phone onto the bed, placing his head into his hands.

Sungmin.

Sungmin, he tried to croak out, his throat dry and clogged and he wanted to scream in frustration but he didn't want to alarm his boyfriend. Kyuhyun cleared his throat and tried again. Sungmin, he called. He couldn't hear himself but he knew his vocal chords were producing sound and he died a little bit inside with each second that passed.

He felt the floor thud and he knew Sungmin was running to him. He entered with a bright smile on his face, before it faded at the stricken look on his face.

No, he mouthed. No no no. He dropped to his knees and hugged Kyuhyun around the waist, hiding his face in Kyuhyun's old ratty university shirt. Kyuhyun his hair helplessly, belatedly realising that his shirt was getting damp and that Sungmin was crying. Sungmin never cried.

Don't cry, he tried to say and Sungmin lifted his head, blinking hard.

I'm not crying, Sungmin signed to him while mouthing the words. You shouldn't cry either.

I'm not, Kyuhyun tried, even as tears slipped down his cheeks.

He pressed their foreheads together as they shared their pain, with the tears that they both tried to deny.

Later when they'd calmed down and returned from the doctor's, they sat on the bed, pressed together closely. The doctor had pronounced it final, shaking his head regretfully but Kyuhyun had already steeled himself. He would make the best of it. Sensorineural hearing loss meant that he could still hear really really loud sounds, albeit unclear. It was better than nothing. He shook the doctor's hand firmly, thanking him for all his help as best as he could articulate and Sungmin translating what he couldn't say.

Kyuhyun thought of what he could say.

Do I sound weird, he tried to say and he felt Sungmin's chest rumble in what was unmistakably a laugh. They had tried shouting loud enough for Kyuhyun to hear but they were afraid of the complaints so they fell back to signing and lip reading instead.

Sungmin sat up to face him, making sure he could see his lips. You would worry about that, he mouthed with an exaggerated eye roll and they shared a small laugh. You sound the same, Sungmin looked wistful, hands moving slowly, almost dream like. You sound like my Kyuhyun. But like half asleep, you know?

Kyuhyun nodded and Sungmin resumed his position, resting his head on Kyuhyun's chest and listening to him draw breath.

It's nice to be able to still hear your voice, Sungmin signed in front of their faces and Kyuhyun nodded. He rummaged around in his side drawer for something before giving it to Sungmin.

Sungmin turned it over in his hands. A CD?, he looked quizzically back at Kyuhyun.

Nodding, Kyuhyun raised his hands to sign back. I recorded a few things for you, Changmin helped me with it a few weeks back. Just some things that I always want you to hear, if I do forget how to say it in the future.

Sungmin slipped it into the stereo and Kyuhyun felt the air thrum around him but he never heard anything. But he remembered by heart what he had recorded for Sungmin, for him to never forget what his voice sounded like. He watched as Sungmin grew more emotional with each passing track.

I love you, I miss you, Sungmin hyung is the best hyung in the world, I will always be your Kyuhyun.

And his personal favourite, a song he had written for Sungmin after they had reconciled, filled with all his raw emotions at finally finding something in his life that wouldn't leave him.

Sungmin threw himself at him when the CD finished playing, hiding his face in his neck as Kyuhyun muttered what he hoped were audible endearments to him. Judging by Sungmin's nodding, he heard him and he waited a bit before nudging for Sungmin to sit up so he could talk.

What I wish, Kyuhyun signed and tried to speak at the same time and Sungmin nodded his understanding, is that I said them to you more often in person, instead of a recording. I wish I said that one more I love you, I wish I said your name louder when we made love, I wish one day I could recite wedding vows to you if and when you ever decided to marry this poor destitute soul, I wish I could listen to your debut song, I wish - , Kyuhyun broke into tears again. I wish for a lot of things hyung.

Sungmin climbed into his lap and wrapped his arms around his neck just as Kyuhyun wound his around Sungmin's waist.

He spelt out letters against Sungmin's back, knowing with Sungmin's shudder that he understood what he was saying.

I wish I could hear you tell me that you loved me just one more time.

-

Kyuhyun closed down his teaching business after that, his students understood of course. They'd all been warned way ahead of time already. But it wasn't without the tearful goodbyes and promises to visit if they ever made it big. Junmyeon had showed up in his apartment in a ridiculous disguise, already part of the trainee to idol process and Kyuhyun had laughed in his face before inviting him in.

They had a surprisingly enjoyable afternoon drinking coffee, with the occasional need for Junmyeon to scribble down stuff because he was too excited to speak slowly.

Kyuhyun was glad people still treated him like he was normal.

He was thankful everyday now, instead of being bitter, for the years of hearing that he had before it was taken from him.

One day, Sungmin blindfolded him and led him to an unknown place. It had terrified him being blindfolded. Now that his hearing was gone, having another sense taken from him was horrifying. But Sungmin's hand pressed against his palm, constantly spelling out reassurances and reminding him that he was there and he relaxed somewhat. He trust Sungmin. Sungmin wouldn't harm him.

When the blindfold was taken off, he was in a recording studio. He blinked as Sungmin smiled shyly in front of him.

I borrowed this from Changmin for awhile.

What for? He signed back.

You'll see, Sungmin smiled.

He shut the doors and dimmed the lights. Sungmin motioned for Kyuhyun to close his eyes and he did so with a huff. You better not be locking me in here, he signed with his eyes closed and smiled when he felt that familiar warm reassuring hand on his back.

Kyuhyun waited in the darkness, waiting for something to happen, before an unmistakeable thudding was felt. The sound system had been . Kyuhyun sighed, he wasn't sure what Sungmin was trying to do.

And then he heard it.

Sungmin's voice, muffled but it was definitely his voice, repeating over and over again. 'Kyuhyun-ah, I love you. Kyuhyun-ah, I love you.' Over and over again. Kyuhyun covered his face with his hands, overcome with emotion.

It was all he ever wanted. To hear that again.

Sungmin pulled his hands away from his face. The lights had been turned back on.

Did you hear it, Sungmin mouthed.

Kyuhyun nodded desperately, reaching out to pull Sungmin into a hug. How did you do it, he asked.

Sungmin's eyes crinkled up into a familiar smile. I recorded myself saying it before Changmin helped me amplify it and layer it with some bass so that you can hear it. I had to wear headphones when I was playing it for you because it was so loud. He giggled a little bit. But you heard it and that is what matters. We can come back here to play it, any time you want, Changmin promised.

Kyuhyun drew Sungmin back into a hug with a small sob and a desperate kiss, signing frantically and speaking as clearly as he could as he did so. Thank you, thank you. I love you. Over and over again.

-

Kyuhyun may have been an expert at teaching people how to sing, how to read, how to hear music perfectly. But that was all technical. Anybody could teach that. Sungmin taught Kyuhyun how to listen with his heart. How to tell, without actually hearing it, when people actually cared for you. How to hear through the angry tone of one's voice the desperate love underneath it. It was how he could tell that Sungmin would never leave him.

What Sungmin taught Kyuhyun can't be taught by just anyone. It had to be taught by someone you loved.

-

A/N: OMG this took freaking over but i'm quite proud of it if i might say so myself. It's the longest oneshot i've ever written, i do believe, and I got really emotional over it so I hope you all like it! I'm sorry for taking so long. If you read til the end, I applaud you it's a monster of 12k words haha. All medical knowledge was researched to the best of my ability and may not be 100% accurate. Please comment and/or upvote? :) I poured my heart and soul into this ^^