I'm Okay (Baby Are You Okay?)
I'm Okay (Baby Are You Okay?)
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“You’re such a ing idiot.” Baekhyun groans as Kyungsoo aggressively soaks up a rag in a bowl of lukewarm water. “I told you, you looked sick this morning.” “Everyone looks sick in the morning,” Baekhyun retorts grumpily trying to roll his eyes but wincing when his head spins painfully. “Don’t give me that crap Baek, you wouldn’t even let me touch your forehead!” “Because I felt fine Kyungsoo! I don’t need to be babied.” “Well clearly you do!” Kyungsoo barks scathingly, sitting down on the edge of Baekhyun’s bed. Baekhyun sighs, turning his head on the pillow away from Kyungsoo’s rage that’s flowing out in waves. Deeming the rag adequately soaked, Kyungsoo lifts it out of the bowl, squeezing out the excessive water and folds it neatly. He reaches a hand out to cup Baekhyun’s cheek, gentle despite his mood, and turns his head to face him, placing the damp rag on his burning forehead. Baekhyun tries to bat his hands away, protesting weakly but Kyungsoo swats them aside easily. He breathes heavily from his nose, fuming as he pins Baekhyun’s arms down by his sides and grits out, “Byun Baekhyun you are going to lay still and not move a single muscle until I’m done with you or I’ll tell Junmyeon to take you back to the hospital, you stubborn idiot.” Baekhyun glares up at Kyungsoo’s steely expression lips parting as though he wants to retort but clamping them shut again with a sulk. His hands go limp in Kyungsoo’s hold, the fight seeping out of him and he sags against the bed with a resigned sigh. Kyungsoo lets go slowly with a satisfied nod and reaches for the fever reducers on the nightstand. He wraps a hand around Baekhyun’s head and supporting him with his palm as he lifts him up slightly. Kyungsoo pushes the pills into his mouth gently and then reaches for the glass of water, raising it to Baekhyun’s lips and tipping it slowly to let him wash them down without choking. Baekhyun is shivering when Kyungsoo lays him back on the pillow, the fever chills wracking through his body and he clutches weakly at the light blanket. Kyungsoo tucks him in, making sure to cover him up enough but not smother him. He brushes away the loose strands of hair sticking to Baekhyun’s forehead and readjusts the damp cloth, a soft look in his eyes. “Why won’t you let people take care of you?” he asks quietly. “I don’t need this special treatment,” Baekhyun mumbles, his eyes closed. Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows, confused. “What special treatment? You're my friend and you're sick so I'm taking care of you, that's all! We’re just worried.” “You don’t have to worry; I’ll be up and about in no time.” “Just take it easy Baek, you need a break to get enough rest-” “No I don’t!” Baekhyun tries to sit up despite Kyungsoo’s protesting hands on his shoulder, “I don’t deserve - I shouldn’t even- you don’t understand!” he slumps back down weakly, a tired sigh escaping his lips. “What the hell are you talking about?” Kyungsoo picks up the fallen cloth and fixes it back gently onto Baekhyun’s forehead. Baekhyun bites his lip, face flushed and chest heaving from the exertion. He looks up and meets Kyungsoo’s concern in his questioning eyes. He averts his eyes as he mutters, “I don’t deserve breaks,” he starts, staring intently at a spot on the ceiling, “I can’t slack off, I’m the last person who deserves to take a break.” Kyungsoo is quiet for a moment before probing gently, “Why would you think that?” Baekhyun sighs again, eyes suspiciously shiny but Kyungsoo can’t tell if it’s from the fever and exhaustion or not. “I’m still the newest; I’ve been around the least, I’ve spent the least time in training when you guys have spent years at it. I don’t get to have this luxury of taking time off to rest,” his voice cracks slightly and he clears his dry throat with a wince, “I don’t deserve it. I need to work harder to catch up, to earn it.” His voice trails off and he tilts his face away from Kyungsoo again, though the latter doesn’t miss the wetness in his eyes. Kyungsoo gawps at him, letting the words process and if it weren’t for the raging fever he might have been half tempted to flick his fingers at Baekhyun’s forehead. His eyes soften though, wishing Baekhyun would look at him. “Why would you even say that?” Kyungsoo starts quietly, “You’re one of us and you deserve everything regardless of how many years you’ve been here.” Baekhyun remains silent, still facing away so Kyungsoo goes on. “We’ve all worked hard to earn this, Baek, and so have you, newest or not. I mean, what, you think Jongdae feels that way too?” he says after a thought, a hint of skepticism in his voice. At that, Baekhyun turns around to face him, expression serious as he looks at him; “Haven’t you noticed that he still tries so hard not to cry when we win awards?” he says tightly, and Kyungsoo stares dumbstruck, “he still thinks he doesn’t have a right to cry with all the others yet, not till he’s earned his time. We talk about it together sometimes,” he ends quietly, pushing the damp cloth off his head to burrow his face into the pillow and curls up into a fetal position. His eyes start drooping, the exhaustion seeming to finally seep in. “I just have to work harder,” he murmurs drowsily, “I need to…” his voice trails off as he falls asleep, fingers clutched loosely around the edge of blanket. Kyungsoo is still sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at Baekhyun’s sleeping face with a frown. “You’re so silly,” he whispers, cupping one of Baekhyun’s flushed cheeks and his thumb gently across his cheekbone. He pushes himself off the bed slowly and gathers the bowl of water and the cloth before making his way out of the room quietly. The other members are lounging on the couch in front of the TV or around the kitchen table, and Junmyeon flies to his side the second Kyungsoo emerges from the room. “How is he?” he asks worriedly, “Do we need to take him back to the hospital, is he okay?” “He’s fine, he’ll be fine here hyung,” Kyungsoo reassures him, remembering the fuss Baekhyun had kicked up in the hospital when he’d finally come to and found a needle in his arm attached to a drip. They said he was dehydrated and over exhausted; the spiking 103° fever had pushed him over his limit. The second he had opened his eyes, Baekhyun immediately demanded to be taken home back to the dorms, refusing to sit still on the hospital bed until they agreed, fearing that he might rip the needle from his arm. “He just needs more rest,” Kyungsoo tells Junmyeon, moving to deposit the things in his hands on the kitchen counter. Junmyeon nods, the worry still obvious in the creases on his forehead but he doesn’t press on, leaving it in Kyungsoo’s trustworthy hands. He pats him once on the shoulder and goes off to let the other members know. Kyungsoo moves around the kitchen pulling out the necessary pots and ingredients and begins to make soup for when Baekhyun wakes up again. He realizes how tensed up his shoulders are when the muscles start to cramp as he stirs the contents in the pot. Kyungsoo lets out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding in a long whoosh and lets his body relax. It had been a terrifying moment, watching Baekhyun go down almost as though he was moving in slow motion. They were all in the practice room, going through their dance routines multiple times until they were satisfied. During ‘Growl’ Kyungsoo could see Baekhyun’s reflection in the studio mirrors, moving almost sluggishly and slightly out of step. His face was strangely pale but Kyungsoo brought his focus back to his own feet before he crashed into someone. They got to the part where they crouched down on the ground, twisting their upper halves in midair, falling into a sitting position for half a second before hoisting themselves up with an arch of their backs. Kyungsoo saw Baekhyun’s reflection falter and he twisted his head to the side just in time to see Baekhyun’s legs giving out beneath him as he crumpled to the ground in a motionless heap. Kyungsoo immediately stopped in his tracks, feeling his heart drop into the pit of his stomach and nearly twisted his ankle in his panicked dash to get to Baekhyun’s side. He fell to his knees hard and tugged at Baekhyun’s shoulder to roll him on his back, head lolling limply. “Baekhyun? Baek, wake up, Baek!” Kyungsoo voice was several pitches highes as he tugged Baekhyun’s limp form closer to lay his head on his lap. His face was deathly pale, his chapped lips a shade of purple that terrified Kyungsoo. He cupped Baekhyun’s face frantically, moving a hand up to his forehead and swore. “He’s burning up, we have to take him to the hospital!” he cried, feeling panic bubbling in his chest. The music had been turned off and the members were huddled around Kyungsoo. Junmyeon was already on the phone, calling one of the managers and motioning to the others to carry Baekhyun outside. Chanyeol and Wu Fan dropped to their knees, gently trying to pry Baekhyun away from Kyungsoo. A hand landed on his shoulder and Kyungsoo turned his head to find Jongin giving him an encouraging nod. He loosened his hold and let the other two hoist Baekhyun’s tiny form up off the ground. They all quickly made their way out of the building towards the vans and Wu Fan laid Baekhyun down on one of the seats. Kyungsoo insisted on riding in the same van as him, urging the manager to drive quickly. Kyungsoo pulled Baekhyun’s head back onto his lap gently and spent the ride carding his fingers through his hair in what he hoped was a soothing manner, though Baekhyun probably couldn’t feel it. The shallow breaths Baekhyun through his cracked lips sent knives into Kyungsoo’s chest and he held him tighter in his arms. The nurses at the hospital were quick; it took very little time for Baekhyun to be settled on one of the hospital beds, with a needle in his arm hooked to the drip. They weren’t all allowed to stay in the room at the same time, so the crowd moved to the waiting area leaving behind only Kyungsoo and Junmyeon in the room. They sat by Baekhyun’s side quietly, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest. Kyungsoo watched his face, anxiously waiting for some colour to return. He lost track of time, unsure of how many hours he spent seated in the chair beside the bed. His body was almost numb but he leapt right out of his seat when Baekhyun let out a hoarse whine. Kyungsoo’s fingers found their way around Baekhyun’s hand and he looked down at his face worriedly as Baekhyun cracked his eyes open slowly. He looked disoriented for a moment, blinking up at Kyungsoo and Junmyeon blearily. He opened his mouth to speak but his throat was too dry to let out more than a tiny croak and he struggled to swallow. “What happened?” he whispered hoarsely. Kyungsoo let out a shaky breath, giddy with relief and he patted Baekhyun’s arm gently, “You’re at the hospital; you collapsed back at the studio.” Baekhyun’s face crumpled for a moment, turning into a frown as his brows furrowed. “Dammit,” he cursed staring up at the ceiling, “dammit.” Kyungsoo blinked, taken aback and Junmyeon looks at a loss. “Baekhyun?” “Take me home,” Baekhyun answered looking up at them beseechingly, “Please?” “Baek, you’re still weak, the doctors think-” Baekhyun cut Kyungsoo off with a groan, attempting to sit up despite his weak state. Panicking, they tried to push him back down but Baekhyun refused to lie still, adamantly demanding that he be taken home. Kyungsoo stood by his side helplessly while Junmyeon ran to get a nurse before Baekhyun did anything stupid like rip the IV out of his vein. The nurse checked his condition and reluctantly agreed to discharge him but not without giving strict instructions to the other members about taking care of him properly. Now, as Kyungsoo pours the soup into a bowl to heat up later for Baekhyun, he thinks he finally understands Baekhyun’s reaction at the hospital, if only a little. Kyungsoo cleans up the kitchen counter and makes his way back to his shared room with Baekhyun, closing the door quietly behind him. Baekhyun’s still shivering under the blanket, letting out the tiny whimpers he usually makes when he sleeps. Kyungsoo looks at him for a moment before climbing onto the bed next to him. There isn’t much space on the bed, his half over the edge but Kyungsoo tries to keep his distance, not wanting to heat up Baekhyun’s feverish body even more. He settles for wrapping an arm loosely around his waist, brushing his fingers along Baekhyun’s hand lying by his side. Kyungsoo settles his head down on the mattress and stares at Baekhyun’s flushed face, much preferring the flaming red over the sickly greyish pallor he’d had when he collapsed. He dozes off in a matter of minutes, feeling the exhaustion bleed into his bones. He’s woken up by the sound of Baekhyun having a coughing fit and he scrambles up dizzily in search of the glass of water he had left on the nightstand. He helps Baekhyun hold it up to his lips, urging him to drink slowly. He curls up on his side and Kyungsoo tucks him back under the blankets before settling down next to him, snaking his arm around Baekhyun’s waist again. He can still feel Baekhyun quivering under his hold, a sign that his fever hadn’t broken yet and he rubs gentle circles on the small of his back. “You’re going to fall off the bed,” Baekhyun croaks, staring at him with sleepy eyes. “I’ll be okay,” Kyungsoo says, pillowing his head with his free arm and keeping up the soothing movement on Baekhyun’s back. He pauses for a moment before asking, “Are you going to be okay?” Baekhyun bows his head, lowering his eyes knowing that he’s not asking about the fever. He fists his hands in the sheets by his face unable to find the right words to answer. Kyungsoo sighs and inches a little closer, bringing his face up to look at Baekhyun at eye level. “Such an idiot,” he murmurs fondly, an edge of sadness lacing his tone. Baekhyun squints at him somewhat indignantly but says nothing. Kyungsoo pulls his hand back from around Baekhyun’s waist and instead brings it up next to Baekhyun’s loosely curled fist and links their pinkies together with a small squeeze. He can see the same look in Baekhyun’s eyes again, the disappointment in himself; he can almost see Baekhyun mentally berating himself for getting sick. He looks at their linked fingers before looking back up at Kyungsoo, defeated. “You really don’t see it, do you?” Kyungsoo wonders sadly. Baekhyun raises his eyebrows in askance. Kyungsoo gives a small smile, “You’re so hell bent on ‘catching up’ on whatever you think you’re behind on that you don’t even see how you make up for it in double.” Baekhyun looks like he’s about to object and Kyungsoo squeezes their linked fingers warningly. “You work hard, Baekhyunnie,” Kyungsoo says affectionately, “You couldn’t possibly slack off even if you wanted to, not when you always give your all and ten times more.” He thinks he sees a little shimmer in Baekhyun’s eyes and Kyungsoo smiles wider, leaning his head in closer to peck him on the tip on his nose. “You’ve earned your place,” he breathes, “we all have and now can we just move forward together. We deserve it. You deserve it.” He spots the glistening bead that slides down the bridge of Baekhyun’s nose and he chuckles as he releases his pinky to wipe it off before tangling their fingers together properly. Baekhyun shifts on the bed to bring his face closer to Kyungsoo’s, nosing at his cheek before planting a kiss on it. The thanks go unsaid but Kyungsoo hears them clearly in the brush of Baekhyun’s lips on his skin and the squeeze of his fingers as they drift off again. - This is so dumb omg i'm sorry OTL ilu Teddy T_T |
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