Notice: I've posted this into Indonesian in my blog. so this is not an act of plagiarism.

My English is very bad. I'm sorry for that. happy reading.

Myungsoo closed his eyes. Back to memories of 4 years ago. beautiful memories with his love.

Bed becomes the place to lay down it feels very soft. A frame is tucked in between the two of his arms neatly crossed in front of his chest.

Tears were flowing slowly clear. forced out of the corner of his left eye. flows slowly.

"I miss you Lee Sungyeol .."

Myungsoo mumbled softly. then re-tightened his arms on the frame in front of his chest.

"You don't know how sick I am without you ..."

"You are so annoying ... leave me alone here ..."

"You told me not to cry before you go ..."

"I thought you torture this deep ..."

"You throw me into hell before I die ..."

"I hate you Lee Sungyeol .... but my love for you is far greater than my hatred ..."

"Lee Sungyeol ..."

"Lee Sungyeol ..."

"Lee Sungyeol..."

Flasback ...

 

Dirty dishes overnight ex-ate it just lying in the wash plate .

Sungyeol that just came out of his room , immediately upon entering the kitchen clucking in disgust .

" Myungsoo certainly don't have a time to wash it again , what he forgot that today was his turn to clean the house? "

Sungyeol walked toward to the corner of the kitchen . moved toward the refrigerator when he saw a yellow memo attached there .

" I don't forget yeol , today it's my turn to clean the house , take a break .. I 'll clean it up when I go home later "

Sungyeol chuckled after reading the memo and put them back into place . he glanced at the calendar on the refrigerator side . 5 June 2009 . Sungyeol smile faded when she saw the calendar . for whatever reason such a sad -faced .

Sungyeol immediately looked away and hurried to wash the dishes . his hand began to take the dirty plate one by one . then rubbed it until it is completely clean . rinse it and put it in the dish rack .

"uhuk..."

Sungyeol nose suddenly feels hot . Sungyeol not coughed . reflex when it suddenly feels the nose is blocked by something .

Sungyeol release plate is held . he washed his hands were stained with dish soap . then using a hand net to cover his nose .

Sungyeol closed his eyes . he looked down . holding it firmly in place washing the dishes . he wanted to cry to feel the pain of his head now . after a while he kept his hands .

" B..Blood ? " . he muttered with a very soft voice . even barely audible .

eyes dizzy at the sight of so much blood on his hands. without thinking Sungyeol immediately clean his hand , and around the nose .

" But it would look so odd if Myungsoo see that only about a wet nose " . he thought. Sungyeol back down . washed over his face with water flowing from the faucet washing the dishes .

" Yeol ... I come home ... you awake ? "

Myungsoo 's voice that calls his name . followed by the sound of the front door is opened and then closed again .

Sungyeol still busy cleaning his face when myungsoo's hand wrapped around his left hip .

" Myungsoo ? "

Sungyeol straightened up quickly .

" For you " . Myungsoo said as he put his chin on the right Sungyeol's shoulder . and his right hand was also right around his waist Sungyeol .

Sungyeol was still a little surprised because the arrival of Myungsoo, now he's back struck with a bouquet of flowers in front of him .

" White roses... white chrysanthemums ... white lily... but sorry ... I 've approached every flower shop , but I can't find white tulips ... "

"For what ? "

" Just want to make my sungyeol feel happy " . Myungsoo said with a grin . Sungyeol choked up at the sight of his smile . his tears gathered into one in the corner of his eye .

" Yeol ... "

" Ah sorry ... " .

He remember . Myungsoo do not like tears . he quickly wiped the tears that had flowed down in his cheeks . then take the bouquet of Myungsoo's hand .

" Yeol ... are you okay ? "

The smile suddenly disappeared from the face of Myungsoo . replaced by a worried expression .

" Why ? I'm fine "

" Oh god , your nose... " .

" W...What ? " .

Sungyeol didn't seem to realize that the blood was flowing from his nose back . Sungyeol touched his nose . trying to ensure that the blood is flowing back out . Myungsoo release his arms from sungyeol's body . looked around , and searching for a tissue .

" Where did you put a tissue ? " .

Myungsoo looked panicked .

" I'm fine Myungsoo , don't worry "

but Myungsoo not hearing sungyeol's words . he's still looking for that last night he put a tissue on top of the refrigerator . panic made ​​him forget .

when he saw it in on top of the refrigerator , Myungsoo immediately walked quickly toward him. take some sheets and turned back to Sungyeol . instead of giving the tissue . Myungsoo instead insisted on cleaning sungyeol's nose . The anxious expression really look at his face

" Why did you? what did you do that? i Already told you , today I will clean the house , I ask you before, you have to break .. "

" Myungsoo ... "

" Do you think I would be fine to see you like this huh ? "

" Hey ... I ... "

" No , I won't listen to you , you should ... "

BRUK ! !

" Sungyeol ! ! ! "

@ Myungsoo & Sungyeol 's bedroom , clock 09:15

 

" Engh ... "

Myungsoo fell silent when he heard moans softly of Sungyeol . he hastily wiped his tears . he was afraid if Sungyeol saw . he knew , sungyeol would be very sad if saw it.

but the words of doctor kang really make his brain can't think calmly .

" What he taking his medicine regularly ? what he was too tired today ? i Already told you , don't let him do the job that is too heavy , the cancer cells in his brain that has been creeping in his big brain , I suggest you persuade him to chemotherapy "

" Chemotherapy ? "

" Nee , at least it can slow down the expansion of the cancer , because if it is as severe as it would be useless if he do surgery , will be dangerous for him , instead he will lose some memory of his brain , and later on it was definitely cancer cells will grow back , while drug that only give pain relief only, and even then would not be much help .. "

remember the words of  doctor kang few hours ago  Myungsoo wanted to cry loudly . but he couldn't do it now.

Sungyeol blinked some times , then touch his forehead. he seemed to feel dizzy

" Hey ... yeol ... wake up .. you're a slacker at all .. " .

Myungsoo leaned. Sungyeol kissed glimpse. get up and distanced him from Sungyeol.

"Myungsoo ...". he called his lover's name softly. "What I was in the house?"

"Did you think you were where?"

"This is not in the hospital, right?"

"For what to hospital? you not sick ... why you should go there?"

Sungyeol smiled at the answer.

"Khajja!! Don't be so lazy, I will prepare warm water, we shower".

Myungsoo pulled both of sungyeol's hands slowly. ensure that his angels would be fine and able to stand up and stepped.

13 July, 2009 ...

 

Sungyeol sat thoughtfully on the balcony of their home. afternoon breeze with ornate amber twilight sky that makes Sungyeol feels comfortable. he lay back in the chair.

"Yeol .... are you there?".

Sungyeol turned his face, when Myungsoo stuck his face from the direction of the door.

he walked towards Sungyeol. then sat down beside him. Sungyeol was sitting quietly. didn't move at all.

"Are you okay?". Myungsoo asked.

Sungyeol move. he leaned towards Myungsoo. and crossed his arms across hischest.  with slow motion, sungyeol started leaning his head on Myungsoo's shoulder.

"I'm always fine, you always keep me well is not it?"

Sungyeol closed his eyes.

His pale face looked so calm.

"Yeol ..."

"When I'm not here later ... you shouldn't cry, do you understand?"

Myungsoo gasped as heard . always feels very claustrophobic when hearing  Sungyeol feels desperate . draping his left hand on Sungyeol 's shoulder . his hair gently . while combing smooth mane that belonged to his lover .

but Myungsoo suddenly become afraid . Sungyeol hair started falling out .

" No ... you shouldn't take him from me god .. " .

Myungsoo said to himself . and then stopped touching sungyeol's hair . change hugged him tightly .

" I'm tired Myungsoo .. I want to give up .. I want to stop .. when God will let me to fall asleep ? "

" No ! ! You shouldn't give up , where the cheerful's sungyeol? When you're tired , I'm here , I will carry you ... "

" But Myungsoo ... "

" Nee ? "

" I'm getting sleepy , I want to sleep ... "

Myungsoo hugged him back . more closely .

" Go to sleep , let me be your blanket , but tomorrow morning , you have to get up more quickly , don't be a slacker ... arra ? "

Sungyeol nodded weakly. began to feel comfortable sleeping in the arms of Myungsoo .

21 August 2009 ..

 

" Yeol ... already at 7am , you won't to wake up ? "

Myungsoo parted bangs are messy and covered his forehead and his eyes .

" Even when asleep and very messy as he still looks very sweet " . he thought while he smiled softly .

" Yeol ... "

" Engh ... "

Sungyeol squirm . but he didn't open his eyes . Myungsoo let it . knowing Sungyeol can still squirm was enough for him . he hugged Sungyeol body that is increasingly thin.

even the jaw bone seemed increasingly clear . Myungsoo drown his face in the neck Sungyeol niche . inhaling scent of his lover who always made ​​him drunk .

"my Sungyeol ... "

" Um ... " . he just cleared his throat softly .

" my Sungyeol ... "

" Hem ... "

" my Sungyeol ... and forever will be my sungyeol ... "

" Hem ... "

" Is there no other words besides a brief murmur ? "

" I think you're too smart to interpret the murmur ... "

" But my brain today .....em...i.. I mean , I was transformed into Myungsoo fool ... "

a thin pull clear at Sungyeol tiny lips . then he opened his eyes and turned to look at Myungsoo .

" The meaning of 3 murmur is nee ... nee ... Lee Sungyeol also really love Kim Myungsoo... " . he said as he leaned over towards Myungsoo . his eyes looking straight towards belongs to Myungsoo . and re- submerge himself in the arms of the man .

Myungsoo rubbed the back of sungyeol . trying to provide comfort and tranquility in every soft caress his hand .

He suddenly remembered what happened last night . Events that are so beautiful but painful .

" Yeol ... "

" Hem ? "

" how if..... after this let me in your position? "

"What  do you mean ? "

" Let me be your bottom , I can't see you in constant pain like last night , you were quite agitated with the ... "

" I'm not sick myungsoo... I'm healthy .. "

Sungyeol stretch his arms . stared at myungsoo with his sad eyes .

" God .... why Sungyeol more days look more pale ? " . he thought . was cast as a protest to god .

" I know yeol ... you ... you very healthy , but...occasionally didn't you also have to be my protector ? " . he asked, wiping Sungyeol chubby cheeks are starting to look gaunt .

Myungsoo lie . it is not really a reason. he just can't bear to see the pain when Sungyeol overnight . and this is enough for he saw Sungyeol always in pain .

even if God permits, he want all diseases and pain of Sungyeol delegated to him.

Sungyeol smiled. then re-submerge his face to Myungsoo's neck.

looking for a stocky warmth of two hands being hugged him.

"Myungsoo...no, I was not able to keep and protect you again, now... you must protect me, this is enough for me to protect you, do you remember? Current elementary school, I was beaten by your classmates so they stop to bothering you, so now... you must to protect me , myung ... uhuk ... ".

Sungyeol head suddenly ached. accompanied with a burning sensation that is tightened around the nose and throat.

Sungyeol quickly distanced himself from Myungsoo. then close the nose.

"Yeol ... are you okay?"

Sungyeol wrapped a thick blanket that they wear. then wrapping his body and ran to the bathroom. And closing the bathroom door. Myungsoo really very scared right now. This has been the umpteenth time Sungyeol like this. but never this bad. even blood coming out of his nose looks a lot more than usual.

Myungsoo quickly grabbed his pants and wear it with haste.

he ignoring the blood that stains splattered in his chest and neck.

"Sungyeol ... gwaenchanayo? Sungyeol!!"

becouse he don't get the reply, Myungsoo force his way into the bathroom.

he was surprised when he saw Sungyeol lying motionless on the floor of his bathroom. The blood still wets around his nose.

contaminate the brown blanket that was still gripped tightly in front of his chest. Myungsoo ran. he tried to wake Sungyeol.

"Yeol ... wake up, please wake up ... Don't scare me!!! LEE SUNGYEOL!!! YA!!!"

@ Sejong hospital, 06.30

 

Myungsoo sleep on the right side of Sungyeol's bed. his body was too tired. This is already 6 o'clock. and his angels hadn't yet awakened from their sweet dreams.

but Myungsoo writhing softly as a delicate hand his hair gently. myungsoo blinked several times. he was surprised to see Sungyeol was sitting cross-legged on his bed with an innocent smile etched into his lips. as if nothing happened.

"Sungyeol ... akh ... sick!!why you hit me??!!"

Sungyeol gave a small punch to Myungsoo's head.

"Slacker!!! what time is it? Let's quickly get up"

Myungsoo still silent, touching his head that had been hit by Sungyeol.

This seemed like a dream. he really couldn't believe when he saw Sungyeol who is now moving down from the bed. he was holding on IV poles and wearing his sandals patient.

"Let's go master slacker, quickly got up, I want to walk ..."

"But ..."

"I've asked permission to doctors kang, only one hour, and don't waste my time, I'm a very busy man Myungsoo ..."

Myungsoo was still silent in his place. his mouth still hanging open in disbelief.

even he had awakened from his reverie when Sungyeol walked over to him and pulled his wrist.

"we go to the park, it looks like a white chrysanthemums are blooming, khajja"

@ Sejong Hospital Park

 

"Myungsoo...Ya!! did you see that tulips?"

Myungsoo follow directions Sungyeol index finger.

"It's a bunch of chrysanthemums yeol ..."

"No ... see, there are two among a bunch of tulips in the middle of chrysanthemum"

Myungsoo winced while Sungyeol still insisted there among a bunch of tulips in the chrysanthemum flower.

"Can you see?"

Myungsoo nodded. "I see it"

"Get one for me, Myungsoo"

"What?!!"

"Get one for me ...". he whined.

Myungsoo rounded eyes. he saw a sign board to "prohibited from stepping on and picking flowers"

"It should not be taken yeol ..."

" You took it for me or I'll get it by myself ? " .

Sungyeol was ready to roll up his sleeves until Myungsoo finally relented and prevent it .

" Arraseo ... I will " . he said as he turned to the right and to the left . fear that if the guards come suddenly . they might get in trouble .

Myungsoo scratched his head that doesn't itch .

feeling a little desperate with his lover .

so, when he thought it secure . he immediately took action . started stepping on the green grass in the park . and walked settles toward a set of white chrysanthemums .

" I take both? " .

Myungsoo asked from the middle of the park .

Sungyeol shook his head .

" I just want one " . he said .

Myungsoo pluck . then walked back towards Sungyeol .

" Are you happy ? " . Myungsoo asked in a tone that pretends upset .

" Very happy " . Sungyeol replied, while kissing the left cheek of Myungsoo .

" Gomawo ... " . Sungyeol said again . once again he answered, kissing the right cheek of Myungsoo

07.00 ...
 

" Myungsoo stayed half an hour longer ... " . Sungyeol said weakly . This time they were sitting on a bench under a tree Metasequoia. Sungyeol leaned his head on his boyfriend 's shoulder , as usual . Myungsoo hand while grasping his hand tightly . Sungyeol eyes closed weak . with a little black hue shadowing under her eyes .

his nails turn blue.

" Myungsoo ... "

" Hem ... "

" I want to hug your back just once .. can i? "

Myungsoo chuckled . then nodded .

"Of course ... "

Sungyeol raised his head when Myungsoo began to turn around and turned . Sungyeol closed his eyes again . Myungsoo then hugged back tightly . while Myungsoo, Sungyeol just rubbed a hand that hugged him tightly . gift of tulips was still clutched tightly in his hand . they are just silent . even after 5 minutes passed even they still remain silent .

"Myungsoo ..."

"Nee?"

"My body feels tired ..."

"Later after we returned to the room, and you can rest ..."

"Myung ... your back is very comfortable ... makes me sleepy and wanted to sleep .."

"Sungyeol ...".

there was no answer. now suddenly heard a sob softly.

"Myungsoo ... I'm afraid ...". Sungyeol voice quivering. he opened his eyes as the tears flowed from his eyes.

"My eyes start to blur ..."

"Hyung ...". this is the first time he call him like that after 5 years ago Sungyeol accept his love.

"my eyes getting dark myungsoo ...".

Sungyeol cried. "I'm afraid that if God took away my life now ..."

"You shouldn't say that yeol ...". Myungsoo voice suddenly hoarse.

no answer. Myungsoo and Sungyeol either nobody wants to talk.

Myungsoo sobbing began. back to vibrate.

"Myungsoo ..."

"Nee hyung?" "

"don't cry after this .. I'm getting sick when I see you cry for me "

Myungsoo crying didn't stop. even his tears dripping on the back of the Sungyeol hands .

" You must not leave me hyung ... "

" No ... I'm not going to go away , Sungyeol always be in your hearts myungsoo...always be in your side... keeping my Myungsoo when asleep ... wipe his tears when he cries ... and calm him down when he angry ... "

Myungsoo suddenly thought back to times when they were together . Sungyeol always succumb to the arrogant of Myungsoo . always keep him when he's sick . in fact, not infrequently Myungsoo yelled for errors Sungyeol never done . but, sungyeol never angry to him . he was always smiling and forgive any mistakes of Myungsoo .

" Myungsoo ... you know ? I always love you ... thank you for your love ... "

" Hyung ... "

" I love you... before you say your love for me , that's the reason why I've been secretly take care of you ... I'm sorry ... I can't take care of you anymore ... "

"Sungyeol hyung ... I'm sorry ... but ... if you had been not able to take care of ....". Myungsoo greeting stalled. he bit his lower lip. getting his body shook. but his hands, clasped sungyeol's hands more closely. "I'm sincere ..."

Sungyeol smiled. his eyes closed slowly. hand which was holding the waist belongs to Myungsoo with strong, are now beginning to weaken.

And finally the tulip flowers fell to the ground.

 

End of flashback ...

 

Myungsoo still lying in bed that they always used to wear. have for years gone. but sungyeol's shadow couldn't be erased from his memory.

"I miss you ..."

"I love you ..."

Myungsoo leaned over. put sungyeol's photo with him. in his side. rubbed his lover's face.

"Saranghae ..."

Myungsoo squeezed the frame beside the bed linen.

"Saranghae ... Nan jeongmal saranghaeyo ...".

Myungsoo said softly. now imagine that Sungyeol was at his side.

sleep beside him..

"Sungyeol .... open ... open your eyes ... wake up ... already morning honey ...don't be a slacker...". he said as he returned hug that frame.

"i really love you Lee Sungyeol... wait for me in our heaven"

The End!!

thank you so much for reading...really sorry for my bad english... i will learn more...^^
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