Suzy always wanted to have an older brother.

“Suji, are you ready?”

Suzy adjusted her hat and held her mother’s hand. The old lady led them inside the room and Suzy was surprised by the amount of kids running. Suzy was scared, so she hid behind her mother’s back. Her mother chuckled and let go of her daughter’s hand and urged her to move forward.

Suzy’s eyes scanned the room and her eyes landed on the boy standing by the window.  

“Mom, I want him to be my brother.” She pointed.

The boy looked up upon hearing the voice. He was startled when he saw her pointing at him.

 The old lady looked where she was pointing to and gasped. “Oh, I’m sorry but he’s not up for adoption.”

Why?

“Oh Suji dear, we can look for another brother.” Her mother said.

“Mom, I want him.” She insisted.

“Myungsoo’s already adopted.” The old lady said. “But we’re still processing his papers so he still can’t meet his new family.”

Suzy kept staring at him. Myungsoo, what a beautiful name.

<>

Sunggyu ran to catch up with Suzy, who was running towards the swings. “Suji!” He called, slightly panting.

“Faster, Gyu!” She screamed and waved a hand at him.

It has been ten years since she went to the orphanage with her mother. It has been ten years since she last saw Myungsoo.

And it has been ten years since Sunggyu entered their lives.

“I’m gonna tell mom about this!” Sunggyu tugged at her scarf.

“No let me go!” She playfully slapped his hand.

“But Suji!” He whined. Sunggyu and Suzy were inseparable since then. He always considered her as his miracle. Because that day when his eyes met with hers, he knew that she’ll save him from the emptiness he’s feeling.  

Sunggyu lived in the darkness. He always wondered why his family left him after he was born. And all the answer he got from the old lady was, “He has plans for you, Sunggyu.” He didn’t understand what she meant, and truthfully, he stopped hoping that his family will come back.

“Sunggyu-ah, God already answered your prayers.” The old lady smiled at him. He looked up from the book he was reading and met eyes with a girl wearing a cute dress. “Who is she?” He asked.

“She’ll be your new sister, Sunggyu. Her name is Suji.”

Suji, what a beautiful name.

<> 

“Happy birthday Bae Suji!”

Suzy heard a scream upon entering the kitchen. Her mother welcomed her with a hug, whispering, “My beautiful daughter is all grown up now.”

She let go of Suzy and continued cooking breakfast. Sunggyu took the chance to hug his stepsister, smiling as he felt her hugging back. “Happy birthday Suji.”

“Thank you, Gyu.”

Suzy lay on the blanket, hugging her pillow as she looked at the stars. Sunggyu was beside her with a book in his hand. “It’s been eleven years, Su.”

“Yeah, I know.” She smiled.

Sunggyu closed the book he was reading and moved to face her. “You didn’t want me back then as your brother.”

Suzy didn’t answer.

“I know you wanted Myungsoo, Su Ji.”

“It’s not like tha—“

“But I’m happy,” He smiled. “You learned to love me like a real brother.”

“I love you Suji.”

She smiled. “I love you Sunggyu.”

<>

Myungsoo put the camera in his bag and walked. He didn’t know where he was going. All he needed was some time alone.

He stopped by an ice cream shop across the street, ordering his favorite flavor—strawberry. The shop was full when he ordered, and he considered himself lucky for finding an empty seat.

“If its okay…can I share a table with you?”

Myungsoo looked up upon hearing the familiar voice. And just like that day, she was wearing a cute dress.

“Mom, I want him to be my brother.”

“Sure.”

“Thanks!” She smiled and sat down in front of him. He watched as she graciously ate her ice cream, forgetting that his was beginning to melt.

“Is there something wrong?” Suzy asked, noticing that he was staring at her.

“Nothing.” She doesn’t remember me?

Myungsoo stood up and grabbed his cup, and walked towards the trash bin, throwing it away.

“Hey!” Suzy called. “Did I scare you?”

Myungsoo cocked his head. “No.”

“But you just ate and then you’re already finished?”

“I lost my appetite.”

“I’m sorry; maybe I shouldn’t have shared the same table with you.” She apologized.

“Don’t apologize, Bae Suji.”

Suzy ran and ran as fast as she can, not minding if she’s bumping into people. She wanted to go home. She wanted to see Sunggyu.

“Gyu!” Suzy pushed the door open and found her stepbrother fast asleep on the couch. She breathed and removed her shoes before walking towards his sleeping figure. She sat on the floor beside the couch and tenderly traced her fingers on his hair.

“Sunggyu, I met a mysterious guy today.” She talked. “He called me by my name. He called me Bae Suji.”

<>

“You’re here.”

“Am I not allowed to go here?” Myungsoo asks as he shoves a spoonful of ice cream on his mouth. Suzy stands in front of his table awkwardly.

“It’s not that. I’m actually waiting for you.”

Myungsoo raises his brows upon hearing her reply. “Why are you waiting for me?”

Suzy avoids his question and continues. “How did you know my name?”

“So the reason why you’re waiting for me is because of that?” He chuckles. “I underestimated you, Bae Suji.”

“Tell me.”

He sighs. “I just know you.”

“That’s not the answer I’m looking for.”

“I’m Kim Myungsoo.” He pauses. “We met eleven years ago.”

<>

A season passed, Myungsoo and Suzy kept in touch with each other, and mostly they would call each other and have deep conversations. Suzy wanted to know him, and he felt the same. That’s when Suzy realized why she chose him that day. She liked him. She wanted him because he was special.

“When you were staying at the orphanage, how’s Myungsoo back then?” Suzy asks one rainy night. Sunggyu looks at her, a teasing smile on his lips.

“Wow, my sister fancies someone.”

“I don’t like Myungsoo!” She denies, her cheek blushing furiously.

He laughs. “Well he’s quiet. Too quiet since he looks like a naughty boy.”

“Is that all?”

He continues. “His parents left him when he was seven, since his father couldn’t raise him anymore.”

Suzy remains quiet. She didn’t expect Myungsoo to suffer that way. “But he found his family—a new family that will love him.”

Sunggyu nudges her when he noticed she was spacing. “Want to know something about Myungsoo?”

“He thinks that everything around him is temporary. So he has a habit of leaving first before it decides to leave him.”

<> 

Another season passed, Suzy finally admits her feelings for Myungsoo. She was happy when he felt the same way.

<>

“Suji.”

Suzy closes her eyes at the light and freezes, realizing what he just did. “You took a picture of me!” She gasps.

Myungsoo smirks and shows her the picture he took, teasing his girlfriend. “You look cute here, Suji.”

“I know I am cute but that is ugly!” She grabs his camera and deletes the picture. Suzy smiles in satisfaction and Myungsoo chuckles. He moves closer to hug her. “My Suji is really cute.”

<>

Suzy notices Myungsoo’s change in behavior and she wanted to ask him what happened. But she didn’t want to sound annoying so she kept quiet. She looks at his hand, trying to suppress the urge to lace her fingers with his. “You know if you want to hold my hand, you should just do it.”

Suzy blushes. The Myungsoo she knew is back again.

<>

Suzy waited for him at the park. He wanted to meet up with her at seven o’clock.

It was already eight-thirty.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” Myungsoo stops to catch his breath.

“It’s okay,” She rubs his back soothingly. “You got me worried. What happened?”

“My parents wanted me to stay and I sneaked out.” He answers.

“Oh.”

Suzy was caught off-guard when Myungsoo suddenly hugged her, his chin resting on her shoulder. “Suji, can you promise me something?”

“Can you promise me that you won’t leave?”

“Myung—“

“No matter what happens, please. Don’t give up on me.”

“Okay.”

<>

“Myungsoo don’t leave me, please.” Suzy cries.

Myungsoo didn’t even look back. Suzy watched as he turned his back and started walking away.

You broke your promise Myungsoo.

You liar, you told me not to give up on you.

It was you who gave up.

<>

“Hey Suji,” Sunggyu smiles at the lying figure; the white sheets hugging her petite body. She smiles weakly at him.

“Hey, Gyu.”

“Mom’s at work right now, but she’ll visit later.” Sunggyu talks as he sat beside her bed. She nods understandingly at him. “You should tell mom not to overwork herself, Su.”

“I’m sorry you have to suffer like this.” She apologizes.

“No it’s okay. We’re okay Suji.”

You’re okay.

Two months before, a week after Myungsoo left Suzy was diagnosed for having a heart disease. No one knew her condition except her family. Not even Myungsoo.

And for two months, she lived in the hospital, building the charges since her condition is getting worse. Day by day she prayed to get better, hoping to extend her life even for a year.

“Did he…come back?” She asked.

“He didn’t.”

And the days passed by like this—Sunggyu bringing her food since she didn’t like eating hospital food, and flowers to keep her company. And every day she kept asking if Myungsoo came back.

He did not.

<>

Myungsoo come back to me. I love you.

<>

“What did the doctor say?”

“He said I’m recovering.” Suzy smiles at him. She looked so skinny and paler than before. Sunggyu hated he can’t do anything about it.

“You’ll be fine Suji.” He assures her.

I’m sorry for lying Gyu.

<>

Bae Suji. Patient 124. Room 13.

Suji was born with a heart disease she inherited from her father. She didn’t understand her condition and only knew she needed to rest. She didn’t understand why her mother cried every time they see each other.

“My beautiful Suji.” Her mother hugs her.

“Mom, when am I leaving?” She asks.

“Soon, baby.”

That’s when Suji noticed that her mother smiles when she lies.

Suji was eight years old when she found out the truth. She won’t reach her twentieth birthday. She’d be already dead that time.

So she vowed to herself to live her life to the fullest.

“What do you want for your birthday, Suji?” Her mother asks.

“I want to have a brother.”

It will be her first and final wish.

<>

“Myungsoo’s in Canada.”

“Let’s not talk about him anymore, please.” She pleads, tears filling her eyes.

Suzy’s too tired to think about him. She wanted to move on. She wanted to forget him permanently.

<>

“Your operation is in two days Su.” Sunggyu tucks her on her hospital bed. He kisses her forehead and whispers, “I’ll come back tomorrow.”

Myungsoo, where are you?

<>

Myungsoo, I need you.

I can’t forget about you.

<>

“My daughter!” Suzy’s mother cries. “Not my daughter, please,” She clings onto Sunggyu for support.

The doctor told them that it’s too late now. Suzy won’t survive the operation that’s why they’re backing out. “Please save my sister.” Sunggyu pleads.

“I’m so sorry Mrs. Bae. But I can’t afford to do the operation if it means killing her.” The doctor said. “I know that it’s my job, but Suji…I treated her like my daughter, and the least I can do is to give her more days to live.”

The doctor left with a heavy heart.  

<>

“No need to pamper me Gyu. I’m not a baby anymore.” She chuckles.

“But you’re our baby Su.” He insists as he scoops a spoonful of porridge.

Suzy wasn’t dumb. She knew why they were acting this way. She chose it for herself. She chose the machine to support her life.

“Sunggyu, will you grant me my wish?” She asks.

“What is it?” He smiles.

“Bring Myungsoo back for me. I want to say goodbye to him.” She said, gazing at the ventilator beside her bed.

<>

A week passed.

Nothing changed. Suzy was still on that hospital bed. Sunggyu still delivered her food and flowers. And Myungsoo didn’t come back.

Suzy finally decided it was time to let go.

“You promised.” She whispers. “You promise you won’t give up.”

“But you broke that promise, Myungsoo.”

“And despite all that, I still chose to live…because I’m hoping you’d come back.” She smiled bitterly.

She nods at the doctor who looked at her with pity. But she still smiled and for the last time, she said his beautiful name.

“Myungsoo.”

And with that, the doctor pulled the plug.

<>

Ring.

“Hello, Sejong General Hospital, to whom am I speaking to?”

“Do you have a patient named Suji? Bae Suji.”

The nurse frowns. “Excuse me sir, can I have your name?”

“I’m Kim Myungsoo, Suji’s friend.”