(Yesung's Pov)

Man... This attic ! Spider webs, reeking smell of old people, dusts, and the freaking darkness is the worst. Why did my dad made me do this again? Oh... I almost forgot that I'll be getting married to my Sungmin next week and I need to pack my things up to move in my new home. But why did my dad put up my important things in this dusty, old attic anyway?

I'm Kim Yesung by the way, working as a singer in a particular high class jamming club that gives a high salary. 25 years old, and the son of a very popular man. Lee Sungmin is my fiancée, same age as me, and he is a trainee at SuJu Entertainment, on his way to his dreams to stardom.

I hit my flashlight using my palm as it loses its brightness from time to time. I started eyeing the attic, seeing the old things and toys I surely had fun with when I was still young. It sure brings back memories... I smiled as I looked around, feeling nostalgic with the things I see, making me forget why I am here.

"Oh. It's dad's most important box..." I muttered to myself and sat on the wooden floor, placed the light on the small table beside me and then took the box under it. The box was simple, it has the normal size of a shoe box but it was embedded with designs that looked vintage. It was in mahogany colour with a little lock on one side. Due to the oldness of the box, I easily unlocked it and saw papers, lots of them, inside. I reluctantly opened the first letter I landed my fingers on, worried about dad's reaction once he figured out I opened his precious box.

"Mr. Kim! Hi! It's been a while! It's Kyuhyun! Ryeowook and I are doing well and to my relief Ryeowook didn't have attacks ever since he woke up after those empty six months. But he was still thin and pail. I'm scared still. Even though he woke up after those months, what if he won't make it next time? My mind is playing tricks on me that I don't want to see. I couldn't imagine Ryeowook leaving me. I know he won't. But still...his health won't let him keep up with me.

Its 10:54 PM on my clock and Ryeowook is fast asleep. I looked up to see a glimpse of his sleeping figure from the table facing the wall, observing if he's still alive. Earlier when we rode a bus to visit my best friend, he fell asleep too. I was just talking to him until he didn't answer anymore. I was like struck by a lightning when I didn't get any response from him and his head suddenly rested onto my shoulder. Normal couple would just think that it's adorable, that their lover is only sleeping. But in my case, I think I'll have a heart attack if I didn't see Ryeowook took a deep breath in his sleep earlier. I will never know if he will make it. It was a miracle that he woke up that time after months being confined. But I think I shouldn't be holding onto miracles just to prolong my lover's life.

Heechul hyung, what should I do? I can't take it... I am so scared... I hate myself that I can't do anything. I'm trying so hard to stay strong and smile in front of him when deep inside of me; I am dying just to persuade him to stay at the hospital for examination. But I won't be able to see his sweet smile if I do that. Ryeowook likes being outside, his eyes connected to the open sky. I would do anything just for him to make Ryeowook happy. Anything. Everything. If I can give him more than half of my life, I already did it. What else should I do? How can I lessen the fear in my heart? The emptiness is still in me. Ryeowook is still by my side but I know he'll disappear. I am scared to look at him, to hug him and kiss him. I am scared because every time I lay my eyes on him, I fall in love over and over. And falling in love with him is so terrifying... because I know he won't be by my side. God can take him from me whenever he wants. I want to distance myself from him so I can forget him to avoid getting hurt once he left me, but I can't. I love him so much, hyung... I love him so much that it pains me.

How can I save Ryeowook? How can I? I'm so useless... If his heart stops beating again, I will die... I can imagine myself being back to the old Kyuhyun who had his eyes all red, eye bags visible, sleepless and looking awful... The worry I have towards Ryeowook only increase. I want to spend my eternity with him. But he doesn't have an eternity to spend with me.

When will the time come that I can have a night with him without all of these fears and feelings invading me?"

I stopped reading at the moment and processed all the feelings occurred inside me. My heart was touched by this letter. Who is Kyuhyun? Who is he to my dad? And who is Ryeowook? I want to know their story more.

"Hyung... Now I'm getting more terrified. From my seat, I saw Ryeowook's chest movements getting slower... He's having a hard time to breathe!"

The paper was torn a bit and meaningless lines and pen scratches are on the page. I stopped reading again, thinking as if I'm on Kyuhyun's shoes. If Sungmin's heart stops on beating, I'll go crazy! The paper had some circle marks on it, like some dried water drops. I bet those were tears...

"Hyung... Heechul hyung... Here we go again. I know it wasn't over. I know it will happen again. When I reached the bed, Ryeowook's heart stopped. I was blanked... I spaced out due to my fear and shock. Ryeowook was all I can think about and yet I couldn't do a thing to save him. I embraced him and kissed the back of his hand, tears feel nonstop and I trembled from terror. I kissed his forehead, lips and cheeks. I rocked him back and forth as I mumble his name, desperately trying to wake him up. And now another letter witnessed all of my agony. Another letter to you that shows my hardship as I fight for Ryeowook's life. Can I make it to the end?

Hyung... Please take care of yourself okay? Thank you for everything."

This Kyuhyun guy is still a stranger to me. And yet this letter took my interest and started to read more. I wonder where this Kyuhyun and Ryeowook is now...

"Kim Heechul hyung, another letter this month. You might be really busy because you don't reply to all of them. But I know you won't bother me sending letters this much, right? Well, that's what I hope.

We are doing fine now, hyung. But Ryeowook is not, not completely fine. He's slowly slipping away from me. I can feel it. From the moment I see him drift off to sleep; I start to pray for God to give me another day with him.  I still want to fulfil his dreams. I want him to see the future we longed together. I need him to see it. I need him to stay alive. At first I thought when he wakes up, he will be saved from dying, but now I realized that he was not, it only postponed his death. Life was never so sweet until Ryeowook came by. I don't know... I just couldn't imagine how I'll face this life when he'll be gone. I'm not hoping, but I'm preparing myself. Oh god, I'm not ready yet... Just thinking about it makes me insane... Hyung help me... Please... I need to save him, grow old with him...die with him. That's a part of his dream, and that's my only goal. I need him so bad that thinking about him being gone kills everything in me. I feel like being crushed by thousands of heavy boulders, like heaven and earth is squeezing me in between. I can't help but to cry. I love him so much more than I could take, I need him to contain these feelings and I need him to share the love I have for him.

I need him so I can live.

The good part of this letter is this. Ryeowook's parents accepted him back after these years. They threw him out after knowing that he's dating somebody from SuJu Academy back then. They threw him out because they couldn't accept that their son was gay. I can still remember how hard Ryeowook cried. I can still remember how his face turned so gloomy from his usual, bright smiling face. But it happens that they regretted it all. One of Ryeowook's wishes is this; to be reunited with his family again. I need to put my pride back down just for his happiness. Who am I to get in the way between him in his family? Even if they once treated their child like nothing, I can't be selfish and separate them from their dying child. As Ryeowook's man, I will do anything for him.

His parents agreed about continuing our living together in the same roof, though I know they wanted to be with their child so badly and be by his side with his remaining days.

Seeing Ryeowook's astonishing smile makes all of my pain goes, like a bubble getting blown by the wind to pop away. His voice is all I want to hear. His lips I want to claim everyday as it says my name is the only thing that can make my heart race. I just couldn't believe that this man is fighting for his life every second till this very day.

I'll update you more news about his condition soon, hyung. Please tell me if you figure out something that might help him prolong his days.

Thank you, hyung. Take care with your new Chinese girl friend!

Your handsome student,

Kyuhyun."

I didn't have second thoughts and grabbed another letter out of this box.

"It's been three months since my last letter and many things happened already. We're doing good if we count Ryeowook's attacks aside. But yes, we are doing great. I started making a living without leaving Ryeowook's side. We signed up at SuJu Entertainment to be song composers! Isn't that great? Ryeowook's another dream is granted! If I can only rewind that moment when we signed the contract where he smiled so perfectly, showing up his faultless teeth and lips as his eyes remained looking at mine. He did an eye smile I didn't know he can do. But there's always a dark side of every happy story... Ryeowook's attacks are getting more serious. When spending time with him, I feel like there's no need to go to heaven, because the paradise I wanted to be in is the place where Ryeowook is. But when his heart stops, I feel like I am being tortured in hell. Sometimes I couldn't help but to curse God. I sometimes feel like he's being cruel, he's being unfair, like he's not going to show us the way out of this tormenting situation. I couldn't help but to think that he doesn't care at all. I think that he doesn't want us to be happy and spend our lives together. He's really so unfair... Why does he have to do this to my love? Why does he have to make him suffer? He could just made me sick instead and he could just made me not to meet Ryeowook so I wouldn't be hurting seeing him slowly die in my arms. I wish that he didn't make me fall in love with Ryeowook so that I am still mad to all of the people and still used to pain and sadness. But damn it he showed me something to live for! He gave Ryeowook to me to take me out of the misery! I know I should be thankful but how can he just do this to me? How can he do this to us?! And he really expects me to watch Ryeowook's heart die and feel him getting cold every time his attacks occur? I am dying inside, hyung! I don't know how much I can go... I just... Ryeowook is my all. Having him undergo these attacks, scaring me to death every time,... I just couldn't bear with all of it. My heart is sinking with holes and wounds that Ryeowook's smile kept on healing yet reopening them over and over again. Every time his heart malfunctions, I am in fear of losing him, praying that He should give us more time... He's granting it so far. But he won't do it forever right? How can I take seeing my lover's tears fall down every time his heart fails him? How can I take the time of his heart not working goes longer and longer like it's going to take forever? How can I do that?! How can I make him live? Hyung I'm begging you! How?

How can I just die in his place so he'll be free from the pain and tears?

I'm taking back all of my words... I don't regret meeting Ryeowook. I don't want to stay in the misery of my life before. Ryeowook is the most miraculous thing that ever came into my dark past and even though a good future with him seems to be impossible, I'm going to give him the life he deserves.

There was one night when we enjoyed each other's company like the usual, cuddling and giving light pecks to each other's lips. It was almost midnight and my love started to get sleepy. My eyes were becoming heavy too. But when I saw him started to feel like going off to dream land, my own sleepiness left me. This scenario happens every night because we both know that we have no idea if he'll make it tomorrow. But that night I saw and witnessed Ryeowook's love for me all over again. He stayed awake for me. He kept up with me though he really wanted to rest. That night he said words to me that I couldn't forget. He said: "No matter how many times my heart fails me, and no matter how many times my sickness kills our hope, all of the beatings of my heart will be always offered and dedicated to you. Doesn't matter if my heartbeats can be counted, it doesn't matter if those will be the last. I am still alive because of you and I'll be living to be with you." He said that after he put my hand against his chest, making me feel his heartbeat that was beating crazily that night. I was glad that it was going on so fast and did not stop. He's the reason why am still in this world and I promise I'll prove him in every second of my life time proving to him that his heart is beating for the right man. I believe in him. Ryeowook will make it. Ryeowook and I will be happy together despite of this. I will be making our dreams become real.

There's only one thing left and his wishes will be complete.

You'll be our best man, Heechul hyung!

Take care!

-Kyuhyun"

I folded the paper the way it was before, put it back inside its small white (yet turned brownish from oldness) envelope and dug into the box again.

I saw a wedding invitation that I expected. It was on a glossy, cream in colour paper placed inside a square