The ride to our next destination, the Grindal Swamplands which was home to the Poison Gypsies, was a quiet and tense one. The Gilshalon sat in the large 10 oxen drawn wagon, which fit forty Gilshalon comfortably along with their belongings. No one spoke much, soon we'd lose a sister that everyone cared for dearly. Seoyeon didn't hide her emotions; despair, anguish, fear and a multitude of other negative and concerning emotions of the like seeped from her very being. I still couldn't understand why the Ooptuk would do this. None of it seemed right or added up. It took me till late in the afternoon to realize the flaw in Hyunwoo reasoning. 

The Poison Gypsies lifestyle was centuries born. This was not a recent misfortune of the clan, and never have I recalled a gypsy clan giving their own Gilshalon to another clan willingly, let alone to one as barbaric as them. Why was he so intent on ridding us of Seoyeon? Although our leader wasn't the most selfish of leaders out there, he wouldn't jeopardize the stability and ability of his own clan. With this thought in mind, I ran with it and tried to rack my brain for the cause factor in this situation. Sadly I couldn't figure anything out. Ooptuks were rarely ever questioned about decisions nor did they ever actually discuss them with the likes of us. So whatever the reason behind this sudden unnecessary generosity, there were only a few people who would know. But who? 

Jinki for sure would know, at least I hoped he would, given that he is Hyunwoo's son. However, now that I thought about it, Jinki seemed surprised like the rest of us... I think. I hated that I couldn't remember what his reaction was, and after minutes of trying to remember I sighed in defeat, and figured the only way I'd ever figure that much out was if I brought up the subject, watch his reaction, then ask him how he actually feels about it and where he stands with the whole situation. Easier thought than said, but it wasn't going to be hard to do. This was all because of Jinki's laid-back and semi easygoing demeanor.

I decide to do this when we stop for the night, this way I could attempt to speak to him in private. The smell of rain distracted my thoughts. When I looked outside of the wagon a slight drizzle was giving nourishment to the arid ground below. Rain. It rained that night too. My mind rushed back to fabricated memories fed to me by the elders about the birth of me and the death of my mother. They said that I was born on the night where the moons eye was wide open in the sky. The rain was pouring down, and the caravan was still on the move. My mother had said it. She knew she was going to die. “He'll be a wolf, wont he?" I doubted the sincerity behind their stories though. I doubted that my mother knew anything, that I’d be the second male Gilshalon in the tribe. But, I humored the old tales anyway because they sounded cool.

Supposedly I had come out screaming and wailing and according to Ooptuk Hyunwoo, I was howling. She died hours after my birth, her body was weak, but at least she got to name me. I never knew my father. He was dead weeks after I had been created within my mother. He'd took ill for some unknown reason and never had the chance to make a recovery. I don’t even know his name, nor do I ever ask. They know it, but they've only told me my mothers. Reina. Before I became a Gilshalon I had always wanted a daughter. I would give her my mother’s beautiful name. 

I was fourteen when the Deity came for me. I was playing with the other sisters and brother my age, when suddenly I spotted the man. It was like for me time stopped. The other children continued to run and play. No one noticed I had stopped. No one saw the man but me. He was tall and muscular, wearing only beige pants and a white wolf mask with red stripes on its cheek. His skin was tanned and his dark hair looked so pretty in the sunlight. He stirred something deep down within me that I never experienced before. I never saw his eyes, but there was something about the glossy pitch black wolf eyes on the mask that just entranced me. He never moved an inch but I felt him beckoning me towards him, and how could I not move to him? It felt like I needed to be with him. 

I walked towards him like an awestruck zombie, and when I had finally reached him I noticed how much taller he was. I was about five feet back then. He was almost six and a half, I’m sure. He lifted his mask just enough to expose his lips and he leant down to kiss me. The moment our lips connected a fire inside me erupted from within causing me to gasp. The minute I did he disappeared. I wouldn't see him again till I was sixteen. But the two years leading up to that point were filled with implacable ual energy, and slowly but surely all the others like me had succumbed to the same ailment. Our nights were plagued with dreams of them. Our bodies called out to them, longed to be with them. Tension was high, and many fights broke out between us. There were a few who ran away seeking out the only ones who could fix it. They never returned. 

Some took their lives because they feared what this was doing to them. Some had with the Don'Gors and with one another but it only made the desire worse. Those who courted with the males were exiled. Although at the time we weren't true Gilshalon, we were still forbidden from ever getting intimate with another besides the deity. Some Ooptuks believed this angered the deities and believed that they would end up cursed like the Poison Gypsies. Others thought it would breed a demonic abomination. They all however, agreed that it shouldn't be done and was wrong.

My internal ramblings were interrupted by the abrupt stop of the wagon. Ooptuk Hyunwoo had found a spot for us to settle into for the night, and what a beautiful night it was. As I moved aside the curtain to step outside, I was greeted by a billion glowing stars on a bright moonlit night. It seemed like the Moon was like a mother surrounded by her many children who all wanted to one day shine as bright as her. I smiled to myself and dragged my gaze down towards the scenery that lay before me. Everything had a hint of brilliant blue to it, even the sand. The entire scenery exuded coolness, and as I stepped barefoot onto the grainy surface of the desert I sighed pleasurably, enjoying the contrasting coolness of the sand against my warm skin. The sand had a smooth silky texture in it that just made you wiggle your toes in it by reflex. Orange flared up into the blue atmosphere and chased away my daze.  The moon and the stars were no longer a mother with eager children, the landscape was no longer a blue kissed wonderland, and the sand seemed to automatically become grainy and gritty. Dinner would be served and the Ooptuk would talk. 

A Light breeze caressed my face causing me to sigh. With that I melted into the Animus form.  A Black wolf with golden amber eyes and golden, copper, and some rust colored patches. The Gilshalon never tasted a human meal from the moment we experience our first shift. We are considered more animal than human, so we are treated as such during meal time, and are only fed once every three days. It sounds cruel, but these feeding habits stay true with the animal kingdom where you’d have to catch and kill your own meal, find the vegetation that can sustain you, or scavenge around for scraps of anything that will keep you going. We have that option, to hunt, graze, peck and scavenge the land but the Ooptuk does not really enjoy the idea of us Gilshalon getting that sort of freedom and independence. 

In his eyes, and I know this because I’ve observed him, if he controls the food source he controls the beasts. This is true, not many would think to go off hunting, and most of my ‘siblings’ are not even experienced, or even driven enough to pursue their own meal. The only outlet that brings out the animal in us is our jobs in town; when we are in situations where we use or Animus form, or where we follow instinct rather than morals, and spike up our adrenaline with hints of danger.

While the sand and breeze were a welcoming sensation as a human, I found them both to be quite a nuisance as a wolf. Sand stuck to my nose and buried itself within my pelt, making me feel gritty. I grumbled uncomfortably and shook myself for the sake of saying I was at least attempting to, but failing to actually shake some of the grains loose. It didn’t really help, but I felt better about myself for trying and navigated my way towards the bright orange light, all while taking in the thick scent of burning wood and leaves of the pit fire. As I passed through the wagons, coaches and carriages of our caravan I found my way into the center ring, which was created by the complete circle of wagons that surrounded us. Within that ring was the meeting square, which was made up of four large logs we used for sitting and that enclosed the fire pit which had a nice sized flame dancing from it. 

I watched as more logs were placed out behind the main four and three tables were brought out of one of the wagons. Dinner was almost done and the Pilashra, our unwed maidens, were making final arrangements with some of the Don’Gors. Most of the Pilashra did not know who we Gilshalon were, in our human or Animus form. Those who knew who we were as people did not know what form we took unless they asked and we told them, and others who became familiarized with the Animus, did not know the person who took the form. Each Animus form is unique, while we have a few Gilshalon of the same Animi there are distinctive differences between the individual. 

Like the orphaned twins Dongeun and Gyeongeun, they are two Clydesdale Gilshalon and usually stay in Animus form most of the time, helping with pulling our wagon. Gyeongeun however had a longer platinum blonde mane and was a female while Dongeun had a chestnut brown mane that’s much shorter and he is the only other male in our tribe. Their pelts are both a beautiful tan-gray known as dun or Grullo, their muzzles and legs gradating to a dark black . 

Another Example would be Saejin and Iseul, Those two are both snakes, but Saejin is a python and Iseul is a Viper.  It was these miniscule differences that made us individuals and unique. In a world where our kind was grouped together as one lump of cursed weakness, our animus forms were our fingerprints. 

I was one of the first Gilshalon on the scene, and everyone stared; they always did. It never mattered how long Gilshalon existed, as long as there were young people there would always be stares of shock and awe.  I spotted Yunho unloading foodstuffs from our raid from the night before. My tail wagged slightly, and I walked towards him, brushing up against his leg. He looked down at me; his brown eyes stared down at me with an array of emotions: First, alarm, then quizzical, and finally recognition. His long muscled arm reached down to pet the top of my head. “Hey Taemin.” He said endearingly.  He and I had a pleasant year together, working crowds and double-teaming to townsfolk.  He was another of the very few gypsies that tolerated us. Well as far as I knew he only tolerated me, but nevertheless tolerance was tolerance. I stared back at him, mouth slightly agape, panting lightly and swishing my tail. My way of saying hi. 

He was a tall and buff man, around six and a half feet tall; most gypsy males ranged from 5’11’’-6’3’’, this made Yunho taller than average, and his physical attributes would make him a great candidate for Ooptuk, or even a husband, but being that he is an orphan like most of us, he was simply a low ranking Don’Gor.  It’s a bit cruel and biased but that’s the way things worked in tribes.  Leadership wasn’t based solely on one person’s abilities or attributes; it was based on their family’s worth, rank and generations in the tribe. This not only kept the traditions and history alive and well known with the younger generations, it kept some sort of financial and family standards that had to be maintained in order to be ‘somebody’.   If you asked me it was kind of an over-enthused popularity contest. 

I didn’t linger for long. He was busy, and I needed to stay out of the way to avoid the wrath of Hyunwoo, Heonji and any of the other less tolerant tribe members.  So to avoid confrontation with any of them, I continued to navigate my way toward the fire pit.

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To those of you who are reading, I have ot aks. What are your thoughts on everything so far? Any questions or confusions thus far?