a/n: sorry i took a long time

“Again!” Sunggyu hollered.

The practice room seems to be getting hotter and stuffier as the minute ticks by. They were practising again barely a few hours after touching down in the airport from America. Everyone groaned inwardly as they shifted back to their original positions and perked up their ears to listen for the music. Beads of perspiration were dripping and rolling down their neck and none of them could hide their exhausted faces.

"Hyung.." Hoya spoke up. As the main dancer of the group, he felt that they had been putting in their best effort and have managed to grasp the dance moves for the remix version of the song.

"No Hoya, you know how important this is." Sunggyu's strained voice floated around the practice room. He knew he was tired as well,  but he had to, it was his responsibility,  even if he wanted to give up. He saw their pleading look, and he so much would like to simply say "That's it for today, let's rest for now. You guys have been great." But he can't, not when the performance is tomorrow, not when he needs to vent his frustration through dancing.

Hoya knew, they all knew, that it was tomorrow and they can't afford to mess it up. "Just one more hyung, please."

Sunggyu sighed and gave in. "Alright." At the reply, they could all sense the immediate lift in the mood and everyone seemed to fork out that little bit more of whatever was left in that mere energy.

But Woohyun just had to make a mistake at that crucial point. "Nam Woo Hyun." Sunggyu was fuming and he repeated Woohyun’s name with gritted teeth.

"The rest of you can go back first. Woohyun here, is repeating the dance by himself." Every other member casted a sad smile at Woohyun and left quickly. They were too tired to do anything. Sorry Woohyun, Dongwoo mouthed apologetically, he wasn't in any position to argue with Sunggyu now (no one argues with Sunggyu).

They finally made it back to the dorm after extra practices together. Funny how awkward it was that night for the two of them who loved having the practice room just to themselves. They would always come up with excuses like the night is still young or Sunggyu hyung is still lacking to practise together late into the night. Even when it was so tiring, they would feel all the energy seep back into their souls seeing each other's smile (and the very fact they're there for each other).

But it isn't the case now, Sunggyu thought bitterly. Woohyun's changed. He doesn't know this Woohyun anymore, his Woohyun has simply vanished. It made Sunggyu so mad. Who was the one who made him behave like a kid in front of thousands of fans? Who was the one forever whispering sweet nothings to him? Who was the one who defended him and listen to all his worries?

When they arrived at the dorm, Woohyun went in quietly to his room, without exchanging a single word with the leader (the whole night actually).

Sunggyu wonders what's actually on his mind.

That night they won two awards on MAMA. It was definitely worth a celebration; unfortunately they had to rush back to Korea to prepare for their next flight to London. Somehow Sunggyu ended up sitting beside Woohyun on the plane.

They didn't talk, not one sentence. Sunggyu was honestly tired of this as he turned to look at Woohyun. Maybe, staring at Woohyun would give him the answer he needed.

"Hyung stop staring at me, I'm trying to sleep." Woohyun's eyes were closed but he could feel the leader's intense stare on him.

Sunggyu sighed and closed his eyes. "Woohyun are you ignoring me?" Sunggyu kept his eyes shut tightly. He didn't want to see the answer in Woohyun's eyes. Just the thought of hearing a 'yes' scared him. What if Woohyun abandons him?

He can't abandon me, how would I survive if he did?

Woohyun turned to observe the leader. A pang of guilt hit him as he saw how tired the leader looks. He saw the furrowed eyebrows and the pursed lips, the lines on his forehead seemed to have deepened and the tense expression never leaving his face. He knew the leader would be heartbroken if he had answered truthfully, so he chose to keep quiet.

Just like this, the leader's question was hung in mid-air, unanswered.

"And you just have to be such a kid! Why can't you separate personal and work matters? It finally died two months ago, now it's back to haunt us again!"

Sunggyu nagged on and on, venting his anger on Myungsoo. The poor boy was speechless. He couldn't do anything; it was after all his own fault. He admitted, it was his immaturity that started all this and it seemed like it'll be affecting Infinite now. He silently cursed in his head, ugh Myungsoo why can't you-.

"Grow up Myungsoo! Grow up, please!"

Yes, why can't he just grow up? "I'm sorry hyung, I really am." Tears had already formed and were threatening to fall anytime. The other members looked on from the side, feeling helpless and useless.

"Forget it; I'm sure all of you find me ridiculous, nagging and nagging!" The slam of the bedroom door that followed made them jump for they had never seen their hyung this worked up before.

Once Sunggyu was out of sight, the bystanders all shuffled to Myungsoo’s side, giving him pats on his head and squeezing his shoulders, murmuring how it's all right because he had them (yes they are all in this together).

Everyone's hurt to see the leader so torn. The leader they know, puts on a bright smile and greets everyone enthusiastically even when he's too tired to do so. The leader they know, encourages everyone despite how worried and anxious he is. The leader they know, is so strong and sturdy that he could hold up the whole world even when it's collapsing.

They can't stop wondering, when that bastard will finally realise.

"I'm sorry Myungsoo." The leader started, as he stares at the wall, frustration building up in his eyes. "It's just that lately-"

"It's fine, hyung." Myungsoo cut his apology and smiled at him, one genuine smile he hadn't seen in quite a while, Sunggyu noted. A question formed in his eyes and Myungsoo wanted to laugh, for being able to see the message his hyung is trying to convey through that pair of non-existent eyes.

"We all understand, we really do."

So what if you guys understand? He doesn't.

The members look expectantly at Hoya, as if asking him to do something. "Why is it me again?" He whined. "Dinowoo help me!" The next moment he was already outside of Woohyun’s windowless bedroom, silently cursing the others for making him do this.

"Woohyun hyung, do something." Hoya urged.

"What? Why am I involved in this?" Woohyun asked. In fact the leader has been harsher to him recently and he absolutely couldn't understand his actions. Oh wait sure he did, because he was ignoring his hyung, his favourite and closest hyung. "He's so harsh on me nowadays. Didn't you see how he made me repeat the whole dance by myself?"

"You're exactly the reason, Woohyun." Hoya began.

At the back of his mind, Woohyun's saying he knows. But Sunggyu hyung can't rely on him so much. What if one day he really disappears for good? What if one day he won't be able to be by hyung's side? However Hoya’s next sentence had him thinking twice about the present instead of the future.

Sunggyu hyung's been begging at you to look at him.

Woohyun feels so guilty all of a sudden. He's been trying to convince himself that the leader can live without him.

"Take a look at him, he's been in the room since last night, none of us can approach him."

Oh heck whatever Sunggyu's future he was thinking about. Woohyun took big strides as he marched to the leader’s shared room with two other members. He had a bigger problem here; a leader can never ignore s.

“Hyung?” Woohyun whispered as he entered the un-lit bedroom. It was only a little into the evening but winter was approaching and the day had set earlier than usual. Woohyun sighed at the lack of response as his fingers fumbled for the light switch. Just as his fingers found the bump on the wall and was about to switch it on, he froze as he heard a sniff.

There were only the two of them in the room, if he wasn’t the one crying then… His eyes widened and he retracted his hand as he remembered what his hyung had told him before. Woohyun I don’t like people to see me crying.

“Hyung.” Woohyun tried again as he felt his way to the bed in the darkness. To say that he wasn’t alarmed was an understatement. He had only seen his hyung cry once and never ever after that because, he grimaced at the thought. Because he made Sunggyu hyung promise to never cry again as he vowed to forever be there for his hyung.

But he’s crying now because Woohyun was the one who broke the promise. “Hyung…” Woohyun searched for his hyung’s hand under the blanket, he wanted so much to grab it tightly right now and tell him everything is fine now and that-

“I’m sorry hyung, it’s my entire fault. Please don’t torture yourself anymore.”

Hearing Woohyun say that was like activation, as if someone had pressed a button on Sunggyu and he released a suppressed sob. Woohyun’s heart clenched hearing his hyung cry. He wishes to beat whoever was the one who made Sunggyu hyung so vulnerable,  so insecure. But he couldn't, when the cause of all these was him himself.

"How could you Woohyun," Sunggyu bawled, he fisted his hand and hugged the bedsheets tightly as he whispered. "You promised."

Woohyun feels like a failure, a total failure.

I'm sorry Woohyun, I'm nothing without you, please don't leave me.

He uncurled Sunggyu hyung's fingers from the blanket and wrapped his own hand in his as he listens to his hyung pouring out his woes. His heart seems to be smashed by bricks, one after another as Sunggyu continues to talk. From Myungsoo's scandal in September to the CEO's blame on him for that rumour; from worrying about not winning on MAMA and recognition to the World Tour; from having a Comeback immediately after the World Tour to thinking of the members' health concerns. The list doesn’t end.

Every time Sunggyu got a little more emotional, Woohyun squeezed his hand a little more, pat his head telling him it's alright and tightened his hug.

Who came up with the think-of-your-future nonsense? He's never letting go of Sunggyu ever again. 

a/n: i changed a little of my description because it doesn't fit my oneshot and the title is weird too because there's one whole chunk of the story that was taken out (unfortunately it was the link to the title) anyway thanks for reading! and many thanks to polarstar_ for proofreading :)