♦CHAPTER IV♦

◘◘ THE JOURNEY THAT WILL END TONIGHT ◘◘

The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken. 

~Samuel Johnson

Here we go once again inside the doctor’s room with Manager Hyung and N, waiting once again to the doctor who ‘examined’ me last time—which wasn’t helpful enough to cure my sickness, by the way—

“Mr. Jung! It’s nice to see you again. How have you been?” The doctor asks as soon as he opens the door and enters the room.

“This is getting out of hand.” I said.

The doctor’s face then turned serious then looks at N and Manager Hyung.

“Will you excuse us once again?” The doctor asks and the two goes out of the room, once again, without a word.

Then the doctor looked at me in confusion.

“Is it getting hazardous, Mr. Jung?”

“Yes.”

The doctor nodded in response and take down note afterward.

“What did you do during sleepwalking?”

I heaved a sigh then told the doctor what happened a few hours ago.

“Leo! What do you think you’re doing?!”

I automatically detached my hands on grabbing Ken’s neck and stare at my hands in horror.

Is it the hazardous part of having a disorder just like mine? Am I getting creepier? Will I end up attacking Ken and kill him? NO!

With shaky eyes, I lift them up to see Ken’s reaction then I found him crying but I’m sure it wasn’t because I almost choke him. His eyes that are looking back at me tell me something else.

Is it pity? Worry? Pain? I don’t know!

“Are you okay, Ken?” N aids Ken then glanced at me with a horrified expression on his face.

I couldn’t bear N looking at me like that so I looked away then asked myself why I did something like that.

I just remembered falling asleep on the couch after practice then this happened. Once again, I remembered the strawberries in my dreams and about walking on an invisible treadmill.

The end.

I just woke up upon hearing screams and now I know it came from N. And, found myself on the floor holding Ken on the neck, ready to bite the living daylights out of him.

And, the rest is about to come.

“N didn’t want me to see Ken or, even be with him for the meantime. He said he wouldn’t know if I’ll do more than that later on.”

The doctor once again nods his head then jot down notes.

“Strawberries, you say?” The doctor lift up his eyebrow then rubbed his chin. “I don’t think it’s that serious, Mr. Jung.”

“I almost choke Ken! It’s that serious!” I slammed my palms on the doctor’s table, couldn’t believe that these things happening to me isn’t yet getting out of hand because it’s terribly out of my control now.

“It’s because I believe you were not choking him, Mr. Jung.”

I almost breathe fire onto the doctor’s face when his words stop me from doing so and then calmly sit back and waited for more information.

“You said you were reaching for that strawberry and when your hands reached onto something, you initially thought it was a strawberry when in fact it was Mr. Lee’s head. You get what I mean now, Mr. Jung?”

“Not exactly,” I said, wasn’t sure I totally get it.

“Then, you’re just craving for strawberries. Or, maybe, you’re craving for something more than that, Mr. Jung.” The doctor widely smiles afterward.

I looked at him in deep frustration.

“If I was craving for strawberries… then if I crave for strawberries once again, I might attack Ken who is always near me and I can’t do that anymore!”

I demanded, raging in fear of attacking Ken once again.

“Mr. Jung, as I told you before, I couldn’t prescribe you any medicine yet. But if that incident happens again, you have to figure it out how to handle the situation—“

“What doctor are you?! I should sue you for talking nonsense!”

After ranting, I quickly fled out of the room, not forgetting to loudly slam the door behind.

Manager Hyung and N immediately run toward me with worry eyes.

“What did the doctor say?”

“Did he prescribe you a medicine, Taekwoon-ah?”

I shook my head and sigh.

“I need to talk to Ken.” I said and before they could stop me, I started walking away.

◄•••◘•••○•••◘•••♥•••◘•••○•••◘•••►

Back inside the dorm…

Everyone gasps upon seeing me enter the living room and without saying a word, grabbed Ken’s wrist and dragged him to our room then locked the door behind us.

“Hyung? Are you alright?”

“I couldn’t believe you’re asking me that, Jaehwan. I almost choke you to death!” I yelled. But Ken shook his head.

“You didn’t.” He says, eyes assuring me that everything’s alright. Is it? Not.

“What? I have eyes, Ken. I saw my hands were gripping your neck tight!” I said with my most horrified face Ken could ever see for the first time while staring disgustingly at my killer hands just like while singing my first lines in Hyde.

But Ken denies. “No. You didn’t.”

“Why are you still denying the truth, Jaehwan? I hurt you! That’s what I did!”

“Listen, Hyung. Calm down—“

“NO! I won’t calm the down, Jaehwan. No.” I stressed out then sulk down the bed, facing my palms in frustration.

Ken’s hands then travel on my back, soothing me but even