Please don't, please don't leave...Don't know why, don't know why

It's not even raining but outside the window you grow white and farther apart...

~Please Don't - K.WILL~

November 10...I could have sworn that was the date...the day that...

"What's happened?" Sunggyu approuched me. I was kneeling my back against the wall, sitting on the hospital room floor. The tears couldn't stop forming between my eyes.

"I don't- know" I stammered down my words. He glanced at me and then the room I was sitting in front of. He stood holding out a hand in front of me.

"It's going to be okay...he's going to be okay" Sunggyu managed as he led me toward another room where all the other members were. They to were quiet and worried as much as I was. One of their managers was even sitting in the corner trying to hold in his tears.

///

I felt completely responsible for this whole mess. I remembered not only a few hours ago I was returning home from my over sea studies. I was hoping that someone would greet me from my return to Korea, but no one was at the airport. I had traveled to the states for a year of studying. That meant I was a whole year away from Hoya, my boyfriend I was dating for several years before. Luckily he was still living in the same apartment when I returned so I caught a train there. While I was walking in I found him lying on the couch peacefully. I thought he was only sleeping, which was common since he was busy practicing all night long. I came straight to him and wanted to wake him, so he could see me as soon as possible.

I leaned over his head and smiled at his peaceful self. At first I was indecisive about waking him but I gave his arm a light tug and waited for his eyes to open...but it didn't. In fact I wasn't sure If I even heard his breathing in the first place.

"Hoya?" I called his name. No reply. "Hoya!!" I repeated numerous times while checking his pulse. Nothing.

Looking down from the couch I spotted red colored candies on the floor. I slowly picked it up and examined it. These weren't candies. But pills...plenty of pills.

///

I walked over toward them as they all instantly stood to hug me, embracing me for comfort. Over their tall bodies I could see the shorter hyung, Dongwoo. He was in tears trying to stay strong. I know it must have hit him harder since he was his closest friend. A few minutes later a doctor appeared from the emergency room doors.

"Is he going to be okay?" the manager asked walking up to the doctor. The man looked at the manager and then at all of us. He could tell we were all worried as we hugged eachother for comfort.

"So far...the operations we ran were successful...however..." he began. "...it seems as if he has lost memory..."

"That's impossible" the manager spoke back. The doctor didn't say a word. "What is this? Some kind of melodrama? There is no way that Lee Howon would loose his memory through a suicide attempt!" he raised his voice. The whole room grew tensed as visitors and patients began staring.

"Please sir, we can ensure you that he will be alright. His breathing has began at a normal pace again, and there is no signs of heart attack or seizures"

"That's a complete relief" Sunggyu said sighing deeply. The other members looked at me as I stood silent the whole time.

"Can he come out yet?" the manager asked finally calming down. The doctor nodded as he gestured toward the door. "Mr. Lee has permission to leave in an hour. I will bring him out through these doors as soon as we finalize his last test"

"Thank you" everyone said as the doctor exited back into the emergency room.

///

"Aren't you gonna miss me?" I asked holding a duffle bag in one hand and a carry on luggage in the other.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" he laughed. It was extremely cold and the weather unfortunately showed no signs of sunlight for another month. It was practically raining everyday, maybe even snow sometimes. Both of us were bundled up in scarfs and oversized coats.

"Don't come back too strange" he joked. "What do you mean?" I asked punching him in the shoulder. He gave me a grin and continued with his constant teasing.

"I mean, don't change too much while you're up there" he stuck his hands in his pocket and sighed through the cold temperature.

"And what If I do change? Will you not like me anymore?" I asked leaning into him laughing. He rolled his eyes and poked my forehead with his right pointer finger. "If so, then I'll just have to get used to it...I always wanted a American girlfriend anyways" he joked bringing me embarassment.

"Ya! That's not nice" I pouted childishly. He saw this and instantly patted my head bringing me closer in an embrace.

"I'm going to miss your stupid yet cute expressions" he whispered. I managed to bring my chin over his shoulder smiling. "And I'm going to miss your cute charm...it's something different from your charism on stage...save it only for me okay? Pabo~" I cooed against his ear. He let out a laughed and agreed. "Okay...don't forget...that's an official promise"

"Okay" I laughed. Before I had to board the plane he heald me with a constant stare. I could tell that he didn't want me to leave. He was also trying hard not to stop me either.

"Before you go..." he began. I looked into his eyes. "What?" I questioned. Slowly he pulled out a silver circle.

"What's that?" I asked. He looked down at my hand. "You know when we started dating, several years ago?" he asked waiting for my answer. I nodded. What did that have to do with anything?

"Remember how, I didn't want us to wear couple things?..." he asked shyly. I leaned in slowly. "Yes?"

"Well..." he began as he pulled out the circular object so I could see it more clearly. Before I knew it, it was slipped onto my finger.

"Jjang!" he cheered using slight aegyo. "Aigoo" I shuttered staring at the ring.

"I wanted us to have couple rings..." he said lifting his own hand. It revealed a simular ring but in a males version.

"It's beautiful" It was a silver band that on the top had an infinite sign on top of it. On the inside engraved... "I'll love you forever...until the end" and then my name next to his.

"Eh, when did you do this all?" I asked near to tears. "The other members pitched in some money for it...they helped me a bit" he admitted shamefully.

"You went through all that trouble?" I asked smiling.

"Neh~ and also, I don't want any men hitting on my girlfriend. I want them to know that you're taken" he nodded approvingly.

"Aish, you know I only love you" I said. The plane was boarding and it was already my time to go. He leaned forward my shorter body giving a soft kiss against my lips. The last one I'd ever have from then...

///

It had already been an hour that we waited, not once did anyone complain for the long wait, nor did they speak of anything else but hoping for the best result. The doors opened and everyones heads turned. The doctor walked out holding a clipboard.

"Good news. The final test results were concluded to be negative, so there is no sign of any infection, disease, or body problems" then he turned to the door as a man followed behind his footsteps. Everyone was speechless as the figure of Lee Howon stood in front.

"Hoya!" all the members yelled running toward the man, hugging him as if they hadn't seen him forever.

Hoya stood accepting the hugs, it wasn't until after they retreated from the hug did he speak. "I'm sorry but...I don't know who you are"

The members all stared at the doctor. "He has a severe case of amnesia. It's quite strange, but it's all resolved now" he assured nodding.

Sunggyu was the first to approuch Hoya. "Lee Howon, you don't know me at all?" Hoya hesitated for a moment looking at Sunggyu and then at the doctor.

"Are you my brother?" he asked raising an eyebrow. "Somewhat...were like the closest friends ever, we are all like brothers" he said gesturing to the other members. Hoya searched their faces. "Wow all these brothers...wait" he began, catching something by the eye.

"Then whose that girl?" he asked pointed toward me. I froze up, unable to move. It felt hurtful that he couldn't remember me. It wasn't his fault, but it felt hurtful as if he was a long ago ex that shows hate toward their old girlfriend. 

"She's..." Sunggyu began, he couldn't explain. "I'm your-" I began stuttering.

"She's your friend, a very close friend" the manager interupted. The other members glared at him with mixed expressions of widened eyes.

"Oh I see..." Hoya thought. "We'll have to take you back to your dorm until you're full recovered" the manager assured.

"Oh-okay...who are you?" he asked. "I am your manager...almost like your second father"

"Yes, okay thank you" he said polietely. "Sunggyu, take the others and Hoya back to the dorms" the manager ordered. Sunggyu nodded, but I could tell the other members couldn't help but look and see if I was alright. I shook as I felt Hoya walk right past me, he didn't even recognie or remember me...

The manager followed behind and stopped to speak to me. "I'm sorry...it's just, right now Hoya can only handle so much, not knowing much..." I nodded. "You're welcome to come and stay at the dorms with us...hopefully if he regains his memory we can admit the truth" he said. "I understand" was all that escaped from my mouth. I knew that if Hoya was to live a temperary life knowing nothing about what happened before the incident...he would be too overwhelmed, overexposed to this new world. I would have to wait patiently...

[to be continued...]