Jonghyun spoke his mind and demanded the attention of everyone around him without even trying, so it didn’t come as a surprise that had never been one to exercise caution when it came to love. Jinki has watched his best friend fall in out of love over the past ten years that they’ve known each other, and every single time Jonghyun falls in a little bit harder, meaning that the fall out is ten times worse. Each time it takes longer and longer for Jinki to nurse Jonghyun’s broken heart back to whole again, but he’s happy to be there for him.

Their friendship was truly unexplainable, a symbiotic relationship that no one could penetrate―Jonghyun needed Jinki to keep him grounded, and Jinki needed Jonghyun to make him live a little.

It was one of those nights, the two of them lying on their backs in a field of dying grass as they stare up at the stars―their secret hiding place from when they were both still too young to understand the significance of peace and quiet―when Jonghyun starts thinking too much. Usually that was Jinki’s job, worrying himself over the most trivial of things until the younger man pulled him back to reality, but this time as Jonghyun looked up at the sky and contemplated how his latest love conquest had escaped him, he wondered if the love that he was so desperately yearning for all these years was closer to him than he originally thought.

It had been a natural occurrence for him to glance over to his right, and Jonghyun watched in profound silence at the way Jinki’s soft features illuminated under the pale lighting of the moon, admiring the smooth curve of his cheeks and the rounded tip of his nose; the dip of his eyes and the long, dark lashes that lined them so prettily, plump lips looking plush as a pink tongue ran over them. However, once he started staring, Jonghyun found he could not look away, not even when the older man finally turned his head to lock their gazes, Jinki’s warm, glittering eyes arcing into perfect crescents as a beautiful smile pulled at his mouth.

“What?” came Jinki’s hushed voice, hand coming up to push his soft blonde locks away from where they brushed against the tops of his eyelids.

Unexpectedly, Jonghyun found that it became near impossible to breathe, heart pounding thunderously against his ribcage as he failed to gain back his senses quick enough. He almost didn’t hear when Jinki asked spoke again, expression inquisitive. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”

Slowly blinking back surprise, Jonghyun barely holds back a stutter as he murmurs back, “Like what?”

Jinki bites his lower lips, pearly teeth sinking harshly into the soft flesh as his features contort into one of consideration. “Like…” he begins, but his breath catches in his throat when he realizes the words that threatened to spill past his lips. Like you want to kiss me, he doesn’t say, and he averts his eyes to stare back up at the gleaming sky, cheeks tinged a soft pink.

But Jonghyun knows―he always does―and as continues to watch the elder attempt to concentrate on the view above them, Jonghyun realizes with an odd feeling bubbling inside his chest that maybe Jinki was the answer to all his problems. Jinki had always been the answer, and Jonghyun realized how stupid he’d been not to realize this before.

Suddenly that bubbly feeling becomes utterly overwhelming, taking over his body as he rolls over to his side. Jinki still refused to look at him, lips pressed together in a smooth line, and Jonghyun just wants those eyes on him. He brushes the back of his hand against Jinki’s pale cheek, knuckles running over the smooth skin of his chin and the corner of his mouth. Jinki’s lips part a little at the contact and when Jonghyun’s warm hand rests against the older man’s neck, Jinki can barely suppress the startled gasp that tumbles out of him. Jonghyun’s palm is scorching against his skin, igniting all his nerve endings and making him tremble even in the cool breeze rolling over the grass.

“Hey,” Jonghyun mumbles, steady voice carried by the wind. “Hey, look at me.” He sounds much more confident than he feels, but he realizes that this thing that they have, this cultivated friendship, has a chance to be something more, and Jonghyun’s never backed down from a risk if it meant a shot at true happiness.

Jinki has every chance to play this off—he has been all these years, convincing himself that he was okay with every boyfriend or girlfriend Jonghyun had ever introduced him to―but he finds that he can’t do it now, not when he turns over to see the sincere look on the younger man’s face. “Jonghyun,” he starts, gentle voice hesitant, “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

They don’t say anything for a long time, gazes locked for what feels like forever. Finally, Jonghyun his lips. “I think it is,” he responds, and he moves even closer. Jinki inhales sharply when their noses brush together, Jonghyun’s warm breath fanning out over his cheeks and lips.

Their eyes stay together even longer than before and Jinki’s chest is constricting; he’s wanted this for so long that it seemed unreal, his dreams turning into a reality before his eyes, unsure if he was willing to take the chance. The older man looks so scared that Jonghyun’s heart compresses painfully, wanting to his hold his friend close and whisper reassuring words into his ears. “Jjong, please, I―”

He doesn’t get to finish what he’s saying, only a broken sob escaping when their lips press together. Jonghyun kisses are expressive and meaningful; they shoot sparks down Jinki’s spine and make his toes curl. His fingers wind harshly into the front of Jonghyun’s shirt, involuntarily pulling the shorter man closer as their mouths slot together, and jumping slightly when he feels a tongue run over the seam of his lips.

The kiss is slick and intense; there are no pretend fireworks but there are definitely flashes of brilliant white when Jinki finally squeezes his eyes shut. He’s still terrified of what Jonghyun will think when they finally part, and he’s reluctant to let the other pull away, whimpering softly when their lips separate with a wet smack. Jinki’s mouth feels a little swollen from the sheer voice, every bit of skin highly sensitized. Jonghyun’s looking at him like there are magnets in his eyes that attract to Jinki’s own, and the thought makes him blush down his chest.

“You’re staring at me like that again,” Jinki mutters, more shy than before.

“Like what?” Jonghyun repeats, and he feels a little smug, the bubbly feeling in his chest intensified as it curls in the pit of his stomach, content and warm, as if he’d finally found the home he’d been looking for.

“Like…” Jinki falters for a second before he finally continues, voice going soft, “like… like you want to kiss me again.”

The younger can’t help the grin that splits his face, hand moving to cup Jinki’s cheek in his palm. “Yeah?” he asks, and the elder nods in response.

“Yeah,” he hums.

Jonghyun’s grin grows wider. “It’s probably because I do.”

So he does.

Now I can lay my head down and fall asleep
Oh, but I don’t have to fall asleep to see my dreams
‘Cause right there in front of me (right there in front of me)
There’s a boy, lost his way, looking for someone to play

―Demi Lovato, “Two Pieces”

a/n: for those who don’t know, i’m in love with demi and all her music so i’ll probably end up writing a fic based on each of her beautiful, heartfelt songs on her album “demi” (which i highly recommend you buy because it’s totally worth it).

this fic was borne because i couldn’t control my demi feels lol

… i shouldn’t have posted this -vanishes into the darkness-