Snow clenched on every part of her exposed skin covering it to become one with it’s world, every breath she takes is a struggle. Her eyelids are too heavy to open the thoughts of giving up are getting worse

Why am I fighting to survive?

What do I have to lose?

Nothing 

Her tense muscles slowly rest

 

A soft being brushed her arm hardly opening her eyes, a polar bear with emerald green eyes is looking towards her

It came closer to clench her white torn dress with it’s piercing teeth

Dragging her helpless body to a place where hopefully gives her peace.

 

 

The sound of crackling fire emerged her ear she opened her eyes to see something sitting on a wooden chair it wasn’t human nor animal is it both?, opening her eyes wider she tries to analyze this being, it’s face met hers it’s serious expressions and tight lips broke into a heart warming smile. 

it had soft  messed up white hair, pale skin ,a deep jawline with a little sharp nose and deep piercing green eyes. 

he’s human what did I see before?

 He got up from his chair still wearing a small smile walking towards her rested body he crouched to look closer, not saying a word just staring at her eyes like he’s searching for something.

She got uncomfortable and tried to lift herself

Supporting her body on her hands she lowers her feet to touch the cold wooden floor then slightly turns her head to see him sitting next to her, covering himself in a wool knit blanket she finally speaks “where am I?” he opened his mouth to reply but stopped “what’s wrong you can’t talk?” he extended his neck their noses slightly touched looking in her eyes, she hears an unfamiliar voice inside her head hello hello you can listen to me right? she shakes a bit in fear

don’t be frightened

 

“What are you how are you inside me?” her voice jitters as she moves away from him

 

He smiles at her cute confusion then started explaining slowly

 

You came here to rest your soul

 

“How did I get here?

 

You didn’t your soul traveled here

 

So I’m dead she thought then immediately smiled

 

It’s been a long time..  His eyes were longing for that simple smile

 

“Who are you?”

 

I’ll be with you till you find the happiness you lost

 

“Are you joking with me right now?”

 

I trust your thoughts know the answer

 

“I think I’m high”

 

High?

 

“Never mind, can you help me up please?”

 

He holds her hands in a tight grip and pulls her carefully, the blanket that was covering her body slipped off she looked down to see her bare body.

 

“ahh” her cheeks turned bright red his grip weakened, she immediately  let go of his hands squirming to cover her body.

 

Her knees fell down on the floor he lifted her chin up to look into her eyes

Are you ok? that voice had a worried tone she looked down and slightly turned her head, he followed. Looking into her eyes again What’s wrong dammit?

 

“What have you done to my dress!”

 

Dress? his sharp eyes looked genuinely confused

 

“The white cloth I was wearing!”

 

oh,it was all torn up so I took it off of you and threw it away

 

“you took what off?” she shouted in anger and embarrassment

 

He got scared causing him to fall down on his back

Lifting his head from the ground to see her

Ah my back, was it that important?

 

“No but you don’t just take my clothes off me and expect me to be ok with it!”

 

In his baffled look he turned a little to think, his eyes widened

 

Are you cold?

 

He stood up, walking towards some shelves to take out a huge wool blanket then went back to her “this is the warmest one I have” he wrapped it around her are you ok now?

 

“Is he gay” she muttered still looking down

 

His hand grasped the back of her neck; his lips lightly caressed hers

 

He backed away gazing up to see her lips wide apart her eyes filled up with tears her rose cheeks are soon to be an infinite waterfall

“Jae..joong?”Her voice shakes and her body follows to shiver.

 

A tear falls.

 

“I’m sorry” he hardly speaks

 

He didn’t want me recognizing his voice.. She thought

 

“I just wanted a few peaceful moments together with you

Before you knew who I am”

 

“I know I’m an idiot who doesn’t deserve to see you again

I know I’m a bastard who promised you everything and gave you nothing

but that’s why I’m here that’s why you’re here like I mentioned before

I’ll help you.. find the happiness you lost” he continued in a hoarse voice

 

Her eyes tear up but this time from the laughter

 

“I have really gone insane, what is this drug” she said while wiping her tears

 

“ok I’ll go a long with you I’m clearly not in my right mind so why not; let me speak to my dead boyfriend”

 

“you know.. I wanted to tell you a lot of things ,but I never expected.. It was too sudden

I always thought we had all the time in the world.

And it seems all that I wanted to say escaped my mind and turned to a black whole that me in every evening to the memories I miss so” another tear fell but the smile on her face hasn’t faded

 

She looked at him with the only eyes he loved in his life

 

“You see, I miss waking up at dawn still being wrapped in your arms, tracing your face with my fingertips and just getting closer to your body, placing my ear near your chest to hear your heart beating it was a lullaby that made me feel like nothing could hurt me. I miss how you throw my teddy cause of your jealousy “my hugs are warmer” you’d yell in your cute aggravated voice

I miss listening to you play on the piano, I always listen to that 5 second voice note I recorded it's a shame you found out I was recording and stopped it; you were really a perfectionist” the corners of lifted higher

 

“you held my waist in public even though I told you I was embarrassed you only hold me tighter,  helping me with work late at night when you have your own in the early morning, when I’m upset you hugged me with all your strength and whispered sweet words even though I was at my saddest  point you still managed to make smile and then you’d finish with whispering

“It’s going to be ok believe in it, believe in me”

 

you knew I believe in you more than anyone

 

 

 

 

But then I return on Thursday late from work,you were laying on the couch and the TV was paused on the film we were going to watch together I figured I’d be quick and change then comeback to wake you with a kiss

I put on the chap stick you loved the taste of and the perfume you’d love to smell on my neck. Racing down the stairs I wanted to watch you sleeping but you were still too still “JJ” you didn’t answer

my heart clenched I held my hand under your nose there was no breath I held your neck your pulse was not there it wasn’t true

I called the ambulance and preformed all the first aid training I learned again and again and again

but you already left me

this was just another nightmare I pinched myself till my hand dripped blood but I didn’t wake up”  

 

The blanket she’s wearing soaked in her tears

 

She raised her arms and held his pale cheeks

 

 

“Thank you for meeting me

 

 

Thank you for being with me

 

 

Thank you for making me smile

 

 

Thank you for helping me

 

 

Thank you for loving me

 

 

 

 

Thank you for being the joy in my life

 

 

 

 

 

I’m sorry I only told you I love you a few times.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He wiped her tears

 

 “I hope you’re happy where you are; I love you”

She sunk her face on his

Their tears met with every fall on his cheek

 

We’ll meet soon don’t worry

 

Don’t forget to show the world your pretty smile

 

look under the bed

 

I love you

 

 

Everything around them slowly fell apart

 

 

It’s time to wake up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the small ray of light escaping behind the curtain shines on her face

A sweet medley wakes her

she slowly opens her eyelids

 

 

It’s him

 

She throws the sheets and runs to the piano in her underwear with her hair half up in a falling bun

the piano is still coverd with no sign of anyone touching it

“I'm the idiot to think he'd comeback from the dead”

she went back to bed hoping to meet him again

she laid down and rememberd look under the bed

immeditly jumping from bed she flipped the mattress 

"nothing nothing nothing"

sliding her body under the bed she looked around

finally finding a litte plastic bag atteched near the head board

inside it was a light blue box

she opened the box there was a recorder and a note inside

i didn't walk in this world alone because i met you

I'll thank you everyday with kisses 

and i'll propose to you with this song

i wrote it when i realised how much i love you

ah i'm shy

play