“I’m back!” Daesung’s voice sounds from the hallway as I hear the door fall into its frame. Normally, I would’ve happily yelled out his name and run towards him so I can pull him as close as possible. Normally, I can never have him close enough with me. But now is not like that. Now is not like that at all.

I hear the door open, hear him softly shuffle inside, and slowly close the door behind him.

“I’m back,” he repeats, somewhat hushed this time. I don’t allow myself to let my eyes stray from the screen. I don’t feel like looking at him.

“Hyung?”

When I still don’t say anything, he lets out a silent sigh; I know he’s thinking I’m being childish again. He then drops his bag to the floor and walks up to me. There’s a short moment of hesitation before he lowers himself next to me on the couch. Another pause before he leans in, and gives a soft peck on my cheek. Gently, he places his head on my chest, and nuzzles close to me.

“What are you watching?”

Oh, so now we’re going to act like nothing happened at all? Is that it? What does he take me for?

Another sigh escapes his lips, then he slowly pulls away again until he sits up straight.

“I’m leaving,” he says. The fact that I can’t hear any reluctance in his voice pisses me off even more. What’s that? He’s just going to leave? This is the best he can do to try and patch things up? This is all the effort he’s willing to put into us?

He straightens his pants after getting up, and fishes his bag from the floor. The moment his hand has a hold of the door knob, an electric shock runs through my body and moves it all the way to him. His wrist, to be more exact. I give it one violent yank so he turns around, then I push him up against the door.

“Wha –” Daesung lets out, obvious shock in his eyes.

“You’re leaving?” I hiss. No you’re not. Not like this.

“Well, yeah,” he nods, “it’s pretty clear you don’t fancy me being here.”

“Where are you going then? To her?” The moment the last word leaves my lips, my free hand smashes right next to his head. I’m surprised by how aggressive I’m being.

“Hyung…” He sighs; it’s his third sigh already.

“What? Don’t you think I know?” The anger in my words is intertwined with a dash of desperation. Desperation because I’m so incredibly afraid I’ll lose him, and it’s already taken everything I have to win him completely over. I hope he doesn’t catch up on that.

“She’s just a fr –”

“Don’t you even dare say she’s “just a friend”, Daesung. Who in the world spends this much time with “just a friend”?” I interrupt.

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I am?” My hand that’s still holding onto his wrist is tightening its grip.

“I am?!” The volume of my voice is considerably increasing with every word.

“Hyung,” he gasps.

“You’re hurting m