The hall was crowded and humid, and the restlessness of the audience was apparent. There were shuffling feet, rustling papers, exchanged whispers—everyone was holding their breath as they waited for the event to start. Slowly, the stage lights opened and some of the fangirls squealed as if they were attending an event for the first time (they weren’t). The organizer came in to give a few reminders and rules. A few minutes later, the members of the boy band SHINE came up on stage one by one.

As his favorite member went up the stage, Taemin felt as if air was suddenly siphoned out of his lungs.

Kim Jonghyun is the best artist Taemin had ever known. He’s good looking and had a really nice body. He can sing magnificently, the best among the group, and can perform beautifully as well. He is caring towards his fans and would give them special attention. Taemin could go on and on about his bias, but in brief, Jonghyun is perfect.

Taemin could feel his chest swelling as the singer waved to the screaming fans as he took a seat. He felt happy every time the fans cheered loudly for Jonghyun, since he knew that the man’s hard work was being recognized. Considering how nice Jonghyun is to his fans, he deserved this much recognition and popularity. But it wasn’t like he was the most popular member in SHINE. Even though he should be the most recognized SHINE member, someone else had to take the spotlight from Jonghyun.

The crowd’s screams turned almost deafening as the last member of SHINE stepped up the stage. It was so obvious that he was the favorite amongst the fans. It was a saying within the fandom that a fan is not a SHINE fan if he or she doesn’t like their leader. But of course, Taemin had to disagree. He is a SHINE fan and he would give anything for Kim Jonghyun. But he would never ever come to like this guy—the most popular member of SHINE who made Jonghyun stay in the shadows despite his talents.

Taemin rolled his eyes. He just really hated SHINE’s leader, Onew.


--


Taemin couldn’t understand how anyone could actually stand Onew. He’s clumsy and careless and he often embarrasses the other members because of he couldn’t read situations well. His jokes are corny and he can’t act at all. Sure, he can sing but he can’t even memorize their dance routines properly. It’s so obvious that even though he’s the so-called leader, the members are the ones taking care of him instead of the other way around. It’s so clear that he’s SHINE’s black hole.

It would’ve been better if SHINE got rid of Onew—was what Taemin believed and he made it known everywhere. He had a fancafe solely for pointing out the singer’s mistakes and making fun of his fashion choices. Every time he wrote a fan account of an event, he’d do two versions: one for praising Jonghyun and another for making remarks about Onew’s antics. His entries often garnered inflammatory remarks, belittling him for thinking of SHINE’s leader that way and encouraging him to just make a fansite for Jonghyun and stop bashing poor Onew. But Taemin knew they were just blinded by Onew’s signature smile and didn’t want to see the truth for itself.

There was nothing Taemin wanted in this world but for Jonghyun to take the spotlight he deserved and push that no-good member to the back.


--

Taemin made a soft retching sound as the fans screamed at Onew. He felt a jab on his ribs and protectively shielded his body. “What?” he crossly asked.

His friend Jinri glared at him. “Stop doing that! What if you annoy some of the fans?” She nodded towards their side, where a few known Onew fansite noonas were getting their lenses ready for shooting photos.

Taemin rolled his eyes and tugged at his own ponytail. “They didn’t hear me! Besides, they need to know not everyone loves Onew.” He narrowed his eyes towards the stage, where SHINE had settled in their seats. Onew was seated at the far end of the stage, sitting next to Jonghyun. “Can’t we have free will and dislike the member we want to hate?”

Jinri made a face and shook her head. Taemin couldn’t even understand why she was getting flustered over his behavior. It wasn’t like he was insulting Key. Still, he decided to keep his mouth shut for the MC was announcing that SHINE was ready to start the fansign event. Clutching his album (the fifteenth one he bought because the first fourteen didn’t have the random fansign ticket), Taemin took a deep breath and decided to stop making himself feel bad because of Onew and instead concentrate on what he’ll say to Jonghyun once it was his turn to have his CD signed.

The line was taking so long to move, so Taemin busied himself with leaning to the side and looking at Jonghyun and wondering if he’d ever look this way. But Jonghyun seemed to be busy looking towards the crowd, as something seemed to have caught his eye. But Taemin couldn’t tell from where he stood where exactly Jonghyun was looking. As he turned back to the singer to stare some more, thought, he found himself meeting someone else’s eyes instead.

Taemin whipped his head and shoulder back into the line. Of all the people he had made eye contact with, it had to be black-hole!Onew. He decided not to look again and just try to wipe away the hardened look on his face. It wouldn’t help to think of his annoyance while he was facing Jonghyun.

His turn came up soon, and he climbed the stage carefully. Minho greeted him with a smile and took his CD, commenting how it’s interesting that they have many male fans as well. Somehow that made Taemin blush a little. He knew just how he seemed to stand out among the sea of female fans. Thankfully, Key didn’t make the same comment and was mostly professional, signing the CD and reaching out to shake his hand to thank him for coming to the event. Taemin made a slight compliment about Key’s hair and the SHINee member beamed at him. Taemin nodded and took a deep breath as he move to Jonghyun’s place.

Jonghyun’s wonderful deep caramel eyes turned to crescents as he smiled when he murmured a greeting, and Taemin could feel his heart hammering in his chest. He shakily handed his CD and Jonghyun carefully took it, asking where he should sign in the booklet. Nervously, Taemin shifted through the pages, but his fingers felt so numb he had difficulty turning the pages. He almost jumped when Jonghyun chuckled and offered to help him with the booklet. Somehow, their fingertips brushed each other and Taemin could feel the electricity speed through his spine.

“Sorry for taking so long,” Taemin whispered breathlessly as they finally reached the page where he wanted Jonghyun to sign.

Jonghyun just smiled and flawlessly wrote on the page. “That’s alright. But you always seem nervous when you go to our fansigns. I hope you’d loosen up a little next time!” The singer politely handed the CD with both hands back to Taemin, and the young man could only gape as he reached out to retrieve the album. Did Jonghyun just imply that he recognized Taemin from the thousands of fans they regularly meet?

Taemin could feel the heat rushing to his face as he gave Jonghyun his best smile and his thanks. The singer just laughed and told him to work carefully. There was no one immediately following Taemin since Key and Minho seemed to be holding off some fans, but it seemed that Jonghyun didn’t want to talk anymore with the way he was scanning the crowd again. Still, it was good enough that Taemin got noticed, and he was ready to move on and let other fans relish the experience.

As he turned, however, he found himself face to face with his greatest dislike. Onew smiled at him expectantly, giving him a cheerful greeting with that signature eye smile everyone seemed to love. The leader made a gesture that invited Taemin to hand over his CD, but Taemin stood still, pressing his mouth into a thin line.

Lowering his gaze, Taemin walked towards Onew’s seat, making the leader smile again. But before he could reach the edge of the table, Taemin turned and made way for the stairs, avoiding Onew and his autograph which Taemin didn’t need. Somehow, it felt like a triumph, showing Onew that someone out there didn’t care for him and that he wasn’t always the favorite. Onew probably felt bad but Taemin could care less, smiling as he made way for his friend in the back part of the crowd.

“You are really mean,” Jinri remarked, unamused by Taemin’s boasting look.

“I don’t really care,” Taemin said as he carefully placed his CD back in his bag. “I don’t want to ruin my day by talking with the black hole.”

Jinri shook her head again and crossed her arms over her chest. “Good job not screwing up your day and ruining someone else’s then.” She nodded towards the stage.

Taemin didn’t really care, but he looked at the stage anyway. The fansign just ended with the last guy scrambling off the stage. Everyone waved happily to everyone except Onew, who briefly smiled but kept his eyes on his shoes, as if he was disappointed about something.

“Why should I care about how he felt?” Taemin said, voice cracking a bit as he laughed. “He’s probably just tired as usual.” Taemin shrugged and pulled his friend out of the venue, saying how he only cared about Jonghyun’s autograph in his album. But somehow, the way Onew bowed to the audience without his usual grin and laughter felt weird and tugged at something in him in ways he didn’t even want to admit to himself.