No heaven. No hell. Nothing.

Standing in front of the calender in my family's home, it's been exactly three months since my death. I expected something more brighter than this. I expected to be in heaven or hell, any one of those actually, but I just found myself standing back on the ground. All the people who thought there was a heaven, a hell, they were all wrong. There was absolutely nothing great about what was suppose to be after death.

Somethings were right though. All my friends and family couldn't see me. They passed through me and couldn't hear me. There were upsides though, I don't have to go to school, I don't have to do homework or anything actually. I guess I could call myself a ghost but after a while, I got kinda ticked off by that word. I would rather be said I was dead.

Being dead is, I don't know. I meet other dead people though. I think I made friends with some. A week after my death I met this person who is always following underground rappers. I think his name was Suga, he told me his dream was to always be rapper. He was weird though, and he always called me Kookie. I don't like that as a nickname. It's been a while since I saw him thought.

I watched my mother leave silently as well as my father soon after. I decided to go to the high school and see my old friends. I noticed the girl next door already heading to school. I walked beside her and noticed her downed expression. Maybe she was dumped? I don't know. When I got to the school, I could see Jimin and Hoseok walking together.

“It just feels different.” Jimin said that almost every morning. It definitely felt different for me.

Hoseok nodded, “Let's just get to class. Jungkook would be scolding us if we weren't in class by now. He was always the perfect student.” Hoseok cocked his head, “What happened that day?”

“Don't know. Stop asking that. Lets go.” They hurried off to class as I stayed back.

“Hey, Kookie!”

I turned to the voice. Suga was coming towards me. He still looked the same considering he died that way. The white shirt was stained blood that came from the knife jabbed into him. Suga had a wide smile though, as if he wasn't dead at all. He seemed fond of being dead.

“Hey Suga.”

We walked along the sidewalk as we were speaking to one another. I was surprised to even see him today. Usually he'd be wandering alone and following other people. Standing in the middle of an intersection, Suga stopped walking.

“What are you doing?”

Suga shrugged, “If you could go back to your life. If you could prevent your death. Would you?”

I thought for a second. Would it really change anything. If was still alive. I'd be with my family and friends. I'd be going to school and probably dating someone. I shook my head, “No. I'd die anyways. Better now then later. Sure I'd be with everyone again but I would still find life a bore.”

Suga nodded as if to understand, “I would want to go back.”

I don't know if he was angered by my answer but he turned and left me alone. Something was always off about him. Something I didn't really care about. They say it's like a lottery ticket to be born again and I'm just waiting for the moment I start living.

Before I knew it, the sun in the sky started to set. I was headed to the place that used to be my home. The streetlights started to flicker on and I walked up the narrow path. All I could hear was the annoying sound of heels clicking. I figured it had been the annoying woman who still acted like a teenager. Instead, I found myself looking at a lost lamb.

She looked left then right, she took a step right but then back to left. She looked alive. No scars, blood stains, marks. I continued to walk.

“Excuse me?”

I continued to walk, thinking she was speaking to someone else.

“Excuse me? You in the school uniform.”

I froze. Can she see me or is she dead. I turned to her, my clothes that stained with blood didn't scare her at all, “What.”

She smiled innocently, “Do you know which way is to the convenience store?”

I pointed to the left. She thanked me before speeding off to the direction. Who was she?