Leave Me Be

Cloudy Tears

"Hyung? Hyung, open the door and let me come in..." Taemin pleaded. He had been knocking on the door for the past five minutes. The door wasn't locked, but Taemin didn't want to bother the leader after what had happened tonight. He felt so bad, so guilty, for turning their leader away. 

He and the other members didn't mean to act like that. Key only told them to help Onew, so Onew wouldn't have to bear the situation alone, and Key thought Taemin should know, as it concerned him the most. Key didn't know that Taemin would burst into tears. Key didn't know that Jonghyuns face would twist in disgust. Key didn't know that Minho would verbally abuse their leader. When Onew walked through that front door, he was no longer viewed as the leader of SHINee. Key didn't mean to...

He choked as tears flooded his vision again. Jinki-hyung....

"Taemin? Has he said anything, yet?" He turned to come face to face with Key. Behind him were Minho and Jonghyun with worried looks on their faces. They didn't mean to hurt their leader. They were just caught off guard, is all.

Taemin shakily shook his head. "No. No, he hasn't responded. I don't know what to do, Key-umma! I didn't mean to flinch away from him. I didn't mean to!" He collapsed in on himself and let the tears slide down his face freely. "Jinki-hyung, Jinki-hyung..." he cried.

Jonghyuns eyes narrowed. "Just open the door, Taemin. We need to talk to him." He reached towards the door and grasped the knob tightly. He turned the knob and opened the door quietly. The members looked into the room. It was dark, and the moonlight was playing upon the floor and furniture, breaking through the darkness as if it were thin glass. In the middle of this darkness was the leaders bed, where a lump was seen underneath the covers.

Taemin gulped and the light. "Hyung?" he questioned, walking towards the bed.

Key looked around and spotted a piece of paper laying next to Onews favorite book. "What's this?" he asked himself, and, followed by Jonghyun and Minho, unfolded the paper. While they scanned the words, eyes widening, Taemin was shaking the still form of his leader. He was getting no response.

"Hyung, come on. This isn't funny. Hyung, Jinki-hyung!" he shouted, ruthlessly shaking the still form under the covers. Fed up, he ripped the blanket off of Jinkis body, and let out the most blood curdling scream the others have ever heard. 

Key looked over, tears in his eyes, and almost vomited. The pure white sheets of Jinkis bed were stained with bright red blood. The leader was pale, his lips blue, and his eyes dull and lifeless. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God..." he muttered, "Jonghyun, call an ambulance! Oh my God, Jinki!"

Jonghyuns eyes ripped away from the grotesque scene and he ran downstairs, tears trailing after him.

Minho was shocked. He could only stare at the blood that was still leaking from his leaders wrists. He could only stare at the words 'I'm Sorry' that were barely visible from all the damage done. He could only stare as Taemin, the maknae, shook the leader over and over again.

"Jinki-hyung, Jinki-hyung, please wake up! Please don't leave me, don't leave all of us here alone! We're sorry, we're sorry!" Taemin screamed. He sobbed harder as Jinki only laid there, not responding at all.

Key screamed at Minho frantically, "Minho, help me stop the bleeding! Grab some towels, anything!"

Minho snapped out of his daze and nodded quickly. He ran to the bathroom and gathered small hand towels and gauze. He immediatley ran back to Key, handing him the gauze and he himself wiped the blood from Onews arms and wrists, tears finally falling down his face. "How dare you, Onew? How dare you leave us that note, how dare you think that we don't want you here with us? We didn't mean to act that way, hyung. Sorry, sorry..." he whispered.

Jonghyun entered the room with the phone in his hands. "They're on their way..." he said, choking on sobs that were threatening to break free.

Taemin had no shame in showing everyone how he felt. He wailed loudly and buried his face in his leaders chest. He was getting blood all over himself, but he didn't care. His hyungs body was cold. It was so cold...

"Hyung... I love you... I'm so sorry..."

_____________________________

Onew was in paradise right now. He was surrounded by shadows. He was dancing and playing and singing with the shadows that took him away from s. It was so dark, but filled with warmth and voices and he couldn't believe that he hadn't thought of this sooner. He didn't feel anything. He only felt safety and kindness around him, and he loved it.

However, one thing bothered him. There was a tiny speck of light breaking through the shadows. There was a tiny speck that was only growing with each and every minute that passed. Each time that dot of light grew, more of the warmth disappeared, more of the voices vanished, and he didn't have anyone to dance with. Where did the shadows go?

He looked around. The light was swarming him now, and he was cold. He heard voices, but they were not the comforting voices of the shadows. They were frantic, and scared...

Onew frowned. He wanted the shadows back. "Go away, light," he muttered. "I want the darkness and peace and warmth back. Go away..." He continued to mutter and curse the light, when he was faced with a door. He tilted his head and stared. Was this his way out? Would he return to the dark world full of shadows? He smiled happily at the thought and reached forward, opening the door and stepping through.

________________________________

Beep....Beep.....Beep.....

Key nibbled his lip worridly as he gazed at the still form of his leader. Onew was so pale, he blended in perfectly with the white sheets of the hospital bed.

Onews breath could be seen through the breathing mask and Key watched with apprehension as the blood transfusion IV dripped.

Drip....Drip....Drip...

Key let out a shaky breath and grasped at his hair, pulling gently. He laughed a bit crazily. They almost lost their leader. They almost lost him...

Key looked at Taemin, who refused to leave the leaders side since they arrived three days ago. The maknaes head was resting on the leaders chest, listening to his quiet heartbeat. Taemins hand was lightly grasping Onews and his puffy eyes were closed. He was asleep.

The diva looked at Minho and Jonghyun next, who were asleep. Jonghyun was on top of Minho on the small couch they shared; their faces streaked with tear tracks.

Key turned his head towards the leader once more and grasped Onews other large hand in both of his, squeezing gently. "Hyung, come back to us please. We're all falling apart without you. Especially Taemin. He can't eat, he can't sleep without you by his side... Jonghyun won't smile, Minho won't move at all. He's like a statue, hyung. And me... I just can't function without my husband here, neh?" Key choked on his tears as he laughed at his own joke. He squeezed Onews hand tighter. "Please, hyung... please come back."

He almost fell back in shock when he felt the hand squeeze back. His eyes widened and he gasped when he saw the leader twitching. He looked around at the other members. "Guys, wake up! Onew's waking up! Get up, get up!"

His shouts alerted the other three and they rubbed their eyes tiredly, gazing quietly at the diva. Key waved his arms frantically. "He's waking up, guys!" The members reacted immediatly and swarmed around the leader bed. They watched as Onews eyes fluttered open, only to close because of the harsh light.

Onew blinked several times before he was able to keep his eyes open completely.

Minho smiled and walked towards the door. "I'll go get a doctor," he said happily.

Taemins eyes swam with tears as he looked expectantly at the leader. "Hyung, hyung, hyung...." He collapsed on Onew and hugged him tightly, tears trailing down his face onto the leaders neck. He sobbed harder when he didn't get any reaction from Onew. No words, no actions, nothing. He pulled back and rubbed at Onews wrists, which were wrapped in bandages. He looked into his leaders eyes, and gasped. Onews eyes were blank. They showed no emotion as Onew simply stared at the remaining members.

Key waved a hand at him, gaining his attention. "Onew? Can you hear me?"

Onew simply stared at him and got up, situating himself comfortably amongst the hospital pillows. 

Key felt a feeling of dread go through him. "Onew...?" he whispered fearfully.

Onew regarded him. He finally whispered in a dead voice, "Am I in Hell, now? Has the light brought me to my ultimate punishment, back to the people who drove me over the brink in the first place?"

Jonghyun could only stare at the leader, who was looking around him as if trying to register where he was.

"Where am I?" he finally whispered.

Taemin spoke up, "In the hospital. There was so much blood, Jinki... So much blood!" He grasped the leader tightly and buried his face in the leaders neck, inhaling his scent. "We're sorry, Onew-hyung... We're so sorry..."

Once again, Onew just sat there, staring straight ahead. "I want to go back to the darkness..." he whispered.

Key, shocked, stood up quickly and grabbed the leaders hand. "No!" he shouted. "You're not going back there, Onew. Never going back there again!"

Onew simply stared at him. "Who are you to tell me what to do?" he questioned. "When you sealed my fate in the first place... you wanted me to be swarmed by shadows, didn't you? You wanted me to be taken away forever, right? None of you wanted anything to do with me. You all were so disgusted, so why save me? I am nothing but a fool... Nothing but a burden, and I should be nothing but a memory..."

Jonghyun collapsed on the ground after hearing his hyung talk about himself like that. Was Onew feeling this pain all along? What had they done?

Key was shaking from the force of holding back tears. He shook his head violently. "No! Onew, we love you! We all love you so much. Please, we're sorry!"

Onew chuckled darkly. "Yeah, I'm sorry too..." Silent tears were falling down his face. Onew looked at Taemin for the first time since he woke up. The maknae was still clinging to him tightly. Taemin looked at him with his big, brown eyes and Onew stared at him before wiping the tears away. Taemin could only shake and cry more as he felt the gentle hands wipe his tears away. He was surprised when he heard his hyung speak to him.

"Did you read my letter, Taeminnie? Did you see the words I carved on my arm for you? I left because I was nothing but a burden, do you understand? I felt happy in the shadows. They were all so nice to me... so nice...."

Taemin couldn't hear anything. He couldn't hear Keys cries grow louder, he couldn't hear Jonghyun speaking to Onew frantically, trying to convince him that they were actually there. He could only hear Onew speaking to him. Speaking to him so quietly, so loving...

"Neh, Taeminnie.... The light took me away from all the nice shadows. They took me away from happiness, and replaced it with Hell. Why must the light torture me with this dream? The dream that all of you still love me, that all of you miss me... I just want the shadows back, Taeminnie... Tell the light that I've been tortured enough, yeah? Please, please..."

Taemin was desperate. He wanted his hyung back. He wanted him back so much. Taemin couldn't feel anything, anymore. He wasn't thinking. Taemin could only press his lips to Jinkis forcefully, desperately. He cried into the others mouth, pleading with him to come back, to be the leader they all knew and loved. "I love you, Jinki-hyung... I'm sorry, I'm sorry...."

He kept repeating that same sentence while Key and Jonghyun looked on with tears in their eyes. Their leader.... their leader was broken, and it was all their fault.

Taemin pulled back from one last kiss with an unresponsive Onew. He looked pleadingly into the others blank, empty eyes.

Onew smiled. The first true smile that SHINee has been waiting forever to see. Taemin leaned forward expectantly.

Onew reached for and cupped Taemins face weakly. "I loved you so much, Taebaby. I'm sorry I loved you so much... I'm sorry I was such a burden. Are you happy, that I left?"

Taemin squeaked and opened his mouth, but no sound would come out. What... what was Onew doing? What was happening? Where was Minho with the ing doctor?!

Onews eyes grew bleary, and Taemin watched as the leader fell back onto the pillows. Key and Jonghyun immediatly swarmed to Onews side. Onew gently caressed Taemins face. Taemin closed his eyes and leaned into the warm touch, covering Onews hands with his own small ones.

"Is this... what the light had in store for me, little Taeminnie? I wish... I wish I could speak to the real you, and not the one that tortures me so. I just want the shadows back, don't you understand? The shadows understood... the shadows understood..."

Key shook and grabbed at Onews arms. "Hyung, we're right here. All of us are here. Minhos getting the doctor, hyung... We're here, we're here..."

Onews eyes continued to close, his hands loosening on Taemin, and the young boy clasped them harder, tears streaming down his face. His eyes snapped open and glanced towards the door as Minho walked in cheerfully. "The doctor will be in so-" Minho started, only to pause as he saw his bandmates huddled around the leaders bed. He rushed to them. "What's wrong? What's wrong with hyung?"

Onews blurry eyes started to fill with tears before spilling over. He looked over each of the members, before giving them a small, grateful smile. "Maybe the shadows gave me over to the light so I could pretend you all were here with me... So I could apologize to you one last time. To share one last moment with you before I left forever..."

Onew watched through lidded eyes as each of s cried over him. He took his hands away from Taemin, who cried out and tried to grasp them again. Onew ignored him and touched each of s faces, gently wiping away their tears of guilt and sorrow. "Do not cry for me when there was no hope in the first place, neh? I loved each and every one of you so much... I forgave you while I was dancing in the shadows... and I hope that your real selves forgive me as well... I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

He touched Keys lips gently, giving the boy a kiss on the forehead.

He tweaked Minhos nose, giving the boy a kiss there afterwards.

He pinched both of Jonghyuns cheeks and gave him an affectionate peck on his left one.

Last but not least, he Taemins long hair soothingly and gave him a loving, light kiss on the lips. He grinned when Taemin whined into his mouth, trying to clutch him closer.

Onew smiled gently and leaned back tiredly. He could only see black at the corners of his vision... His hands grew limp in Taemin and Keys hold, and he saw s panicking. "Thank you, shadows, for giving me a chance to see my members again, even if it was only an illusion of your partner, light..."

The members could only watch as Onews eyes shut for the last time, whispering one last sentence. "I love all of you, and I'm sorry..."

Taemins hand shook as he placed it on his leaders cool cheek. Reality soon caught up to him and he let out a loud wail of despair. He grasped tightly to Onews form even as it went limp on the hospital bed. Onews cloudy eyes still leaked fresh tears, but he was smiling.

"Hyung, hyung, please come back! We're here, we're all here! Wake up, hyung!" Taemin pleaded, tears falling on the leaders pale face.

Key collapsed on the floor, blank eyes filling with tears and falling to the floor. He looked at his shaking hands and finally allowed his loud sobs to ring through the air. "Jinki-hyung... Onew... Come back to us please. I'm sorry..."

Jonghyun clutched at the bed in desperation. He never even got to tell his hyung sorry... "Hyung..." he whimpered.

Minho reached out and touched his hyungs face, wiping away the tears that tainted it. "You don't need to cry, hyung. Don't cry..."

Taemin looked up into Onews eyes. Those same blank eyes that looked at him just a few days ago. The same eyes that he flinched away from that night.

"Don't look at me, hyung... Don't look at the person who filled your eyes with tears.... Don't look at the person who made you think the shadows were warm in the first place."

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Like or no like...? I'm sorry for angsty finish, but I had too!!! Poor Onew and members... I love you guys! :3

 

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emino6 #1
Chapter 1: ahh i am crying here so hard :(
mileania
#2
Chapter 1: ONEW OPPA.
brighteyes
#3
Chapter 1: Aww. This sequel is as awesome as the first ;; I like it. Thanks for sharing this!! :)
DOnewyah
#4
Chapter 1: I'm crying T.T actually what has key said that make Onew sad? I kidda get confuse at there. Anyway! Its freaking awesome! I love it
kpopoppa #5
Chapter 1: I'm crying so much:( this is so beautiful. Then I see the background that is onew smiling and I cry more:((
XxSHINee-RoxyxX
#6
Chapter 1: .... Omg..... That was....wow. Woah.
Now im just really curious about what key said to make the members react that way....
Please write more! Ahahah! I love angst! But next time...DONT KILL ONEW! That poor dubu! He was alive! He was with them kicking and breathing! WHY STUPID SHADOWS! >.<
Hwaiting!<3
niadubu
#7
Chapter 1: Damn it!!!! Sand got into my eyes again. I hate u sand !!!!
That was so heartbreaking when Jinki thought that was only the ilusion of . How he kept saying sorry toward the member. It was so so ;-( ;-(
i like the story keep writing more :-D ;-( :-O ;-( :-* :-O :-D ;-( ;-( ;-(
SnHiromi #8
Chapter 1: I don't like this!!! (I like it don't worry xD) but it's just so sad T^T you made me cry aaahh so depressing
and I'm sorry but I only felt Onew's pain and shame for the members