It was late on the Wednesday night after the Radio Star broadcast that found Ryeowook sitting alone at the dining table in the dorm, lying facedown on the smooth surface with his hand stretched out in front of him, clutching onto a mug of large beer. Several empty beer bottles lay scattered across the table, a result of several hours of continuous drinking. Noisy incoherent chatter from the television cut through the silence surrounding the tipsy man, set to a random channel to drown out the noxious thoughts in his head. 

Earlier that day, he had been extremely excited about his first variety show appearance in months. And not just any variety show, but Radio Star – one of the more popular shows on television that his lover, Kyuhyun, usually MC’ed. He thought he had done well, that his infamous sharp tongue would entertain the Korean masses, carving out a name for him as a variety star. He had told everyone about his guesting on the show – the makeup noonas, the Sukira staff, his family. 

So there he was at Sukira, excitement bubbling through him as he watched the opening of Radio Star. But over the next few hours, as he watched himself between takes at Sukira, a feeling of dread started to build in his stomach. Half of the things he did during the taping were cut out and the parts that weren’t edited out made him seem like an entitled jerk. He was sad, upset, outraged, but he had to hold himself together as a professional radio DJ. 

The minute the show ended, he knew he needed some alcohol therapy. He morosely dragged himself to the nearest beer store, bought as many six-packs as he could carry and drove home, tears threatening to fall. He could cheat on his non-alcoholic diet for at least this one day. 

He felt that he needed a night to drown out his sorrows and blow off some steam, alone, with as much alcohol his body could handle before he faced the repercussions that the next day would bring him. Fortunately for him, the dorm was deserted, the members not projected to return home for several hours – just sufficient enough for him to get completely trashed, numb to reality. 

Midway through his lament about his horrible verbal filter and his penchant to screw up on variety shows, he heard the door open.

, Ryeowook thought raising his head a few inches off the table, blearily gazing up at the shadowy figure entering the dorm as he clumsily tried to hide his mug. 

“Don’t even bother, Ryeowook-ah.” He heard a voice say, as the blurry figure turned off the television. Next came a sigh followed by a muttered, “I figured you would be like this.” 

Ryeowook blinked, seeing the shape of Kyuhyun form in front of him. His lover dropped a large bag of groceries on the kitchen counter, before heading over to Ryeowook and kneeling in front of him. 

He caressed Ryeowook’s face, “Baby, don’t worry about it. Radio Star is hard even on the best of days.” He pulled Ryeowook into a hug. "You did your best."

Tears fell from the smaller’s eyes, “But- bu- but I did su- such a bad job Hyunnie. Everyone hates me now!” And he started bawling, clutching desperately to Kyuhyun. 

Kyuhyun soothed him quietly, shh-ing him, uttering soft I love yous as Ryeowook let out all his pent-up emotions. 

When the distraught man started calming down Kyuhyun gave him one more tight squeeze, kissing his forehead then his lips before pulling away. 

He looked Ryeowook in the eye, “What you need is some good food.” And he stepped away, unloading the groceries and set to work chopping, seasoning and frying with confidence. 

Ryeowook placed his head cheek-first on the table, eyes puffy and cheeks flushed, feeling a headache forming as he watched his lover cook. Kyuhyun rarely ever cooked; he didn’t want the members to find out that he could cook, otherwise he’d end up cooking all the time. This was because Kyuhyun was exceptionally skilled at cooking – it was just applied chemistry, after all. Ryeowook felt a surge of affection and appreciation for his lover and the fact that he somehow knew that Ryeowook needed some love and attention that night. Feeling safe, he slowly started drifting off to sleep, lulled by the aromas wafting from the kitchen. 

Ryeowook woke to Kyuhyun gently shaking him. He opened his eyes, feeling a pounding sensation in his head and groaned in pain.

“You’re dehydrated,” Kyuhyun said as he placed a glass of cold ice water in front of him. “Drink some water, baby. Dinner will be ready in 5 minutes.” 

Ryeowook downed the water in one go, then closed his eyes and placed the glass against his forehead, enjoying the cool sensation. 

“Kyuhyunnie, why did it turn out like this? I thought I did well. What happened?”

Kyuhyun stirred some sauce in a pot, tasting it quickly and lowering the heat before learning against the counter, looking thoughtful. 

“Variety can be hard – Radio Star even more that usual. Although it seems like I’m saying thoughtless biting comments on the show, my comments are actually well thought out. Usually.” He grabbed a carrot stick off the cutting board and started munching on it. “The things that I choose to say have to be balanced, toeing the line between the offensive and the forgettable. But also, they have to be general enough for editing to not take it out of context. Sometimes it’s difficult. If I feel frustrated or if I’m too tired, I can sometimes say something that will hurt someone by accident, which I never mean to do.” 

Kyuhyun paused, evidently lost in his own world and then shook his head. “What I mean to say is that happens, Ryeowook-ah. And for celebrities, happens onscreen.” He pointed the carrot stick at Ryeowook, “And what you need to do is not forget about it, but to pick yourself up, learn from it and never make the same mistake again!” 

Ryeowook gazed at Kyuhyun, mulling over the other’s words, “But the media-“

“Forget about the media! There will always be something new and stupid to cover up the last story.”

“But Eunhyuk’s family-“ 

“Ah, well, about that…there’s nothing you can do about what you said in the broadcast, Ryeowookie. But you can always apologize and make amends. I know that you were joking. They know you were joking. But sometimes a heartfelt apology can go a long way.” Kyuhyun turned off the heat and began plating their meal. “That’s why I always apologize to the guests before the show. I never know what will happen during the course of recording. That issue with Hara…I still feel horrible about it, even though I apologized many, many times.” 

Kyuhyun carried the plates and some utensils over to the table. Seeing Ryeowook staring glumly into thin air, he lifted the other’s chin slightly, looking into his eyes. 

“All we can do now is move forward,” he said, smiling tenderly. He ruffled Ryeowook’s hair lightly, grabbing the empty glass on the table, “You need some more water.”

Ryeowook smiled back, feeling as if a heavy weight was lifted off his shoulders. He inhaled the scent of the food in front of him, realizing just then that Kyuhyun had chosen to cook his favourite foods. 

He took a deep breath, picking up his chopsticks. 

He was ready to face tomorrow.