Idol, Idol, what she can thinks is idol! I don’t fu*king care about it, all I care is her! I’m so blind and stupid!!! I really want to give up… but I just can’t make myself to do so. My heart is already stuck to her. She is the one… she’s my everything.

 

 

                   “Mayu-chan… you have 2 minutes to go on stage, is everything ok?”

Mayu nodded her head and smile to her manager brightly. She closed her eyes… she could heard loud noises outside the curtain, her fans, they chanting her name. She smiled again, then the red curtain opened.. she opened her eyes and greet the audience cheerfully.

 

Watanabe Mayu, a member of a popular idol group AKB48. She’s one of an ace of the group, because of this position it makes her become someone that everybody look up to. That’s why she wants to be perfect all the time.  Everyone loves seeing her like that, Mayuyu a perfect idol. She’s cute, smart and cheerful. She’s happy with her images now, the more fans she got the merrier she is. But for some reason, she forgot that… this is not all she wants… and something that she thinks she lost it… her true feeling.

 

……………

 

          “Mayuyu~ you looks good in this outfit! So cute!”

          “Thank you Yuko-san, but I think my hair is kinda weird.”

Yuko laughed out loud and Mayu’s hair,

          “It looks cute as always Mayu, don’t think too much.”

Mayu smiled and nodded, she didn’t know why everyone always say like that.. but for herself it looks really weird. She regrets cutting her hair like this.

 

Eveything is set. AKB48 is the next group to perform. Their manager started counting the member.. one by one… suddenly his eyes widen,

          “Where is Yuririn? Is anyone saw her?”

They started to panic, the performance will start soon.. but now Yuki is nowhere to be seen.

          “I saw her in the bathroom 10 minutes ago.. but she already out. I wonder where she go..” Kojima said with her curious face.

          “This is bad… Kino-san, Can we go looking for her?” Takamina asked her manager. (Ehem… I made up the name myself, I don’t know their manager’s name…so Kino-san..lol. XD)

Kino-san looked at his watch and sigh,

          “There’s no time left, you girls stay here and if Yuki is not come.. just perform without her. An’nin.. you will dance in Yuki’s position. General Manager, you responsible for the speech, apologize fans for the sudden change. So, are you girls clear?”

Everyone nodded and shocked of their manager’s seriousness. 

Mayu has this worried face with her, it’s obvious that she worried about the older girl. Where are you, Yuki? I’m sorry If I hurt you with those words…

 

………………………….

 

The performance went well just because how great Takamina is. She told everyone that Yuki was sick and couldn’t perform on stage with them. But she assumed fans that Yuki is okay and just has to rest for a while.

 

Mayu tried to call Yuki for hundred times but she’s not pick up. This started to make her worry more… she tried to search for Yuki in her house but she’s still not there. Her tears fell down when she walked out from Yuki’s house, then she started texting her instead,

 

          [Yuki.. please answer your damn phone! Everyone is worry about you! Please we need to talk! Don’t do like this!”

 

Mayu closed her phone and sigh. Memories flash back in her brain..

 

          --Flash Back--

 

          “So Yuki, why are you calling out me this time? You know we need to change and go on stage.” Mayu said in her grumpy voice.

Yuki reminded silent and looked at Mayu tearful.

Mayu shocked and held Yuki’s face,

          “Why are you crying all sudden? I’m sorry if I offence you. You knew me, I don’t like doing things rush, especially on stage.”   

Just then Yuki grabbed both Mayu’s cheeks and kissed her. Mayu’s eyes widen in shock, she blanked a few time then she pushed Yuki away. Because her push was so strong , it made Yuki fell down to the ground.

Mayu still in shock and covered her lip..

          “What are you doing?!” she shouted at Yuki.

Yuki got up and grabbed Mayu’s shoulder,

          “Say... do you ever love me? I remember you confessed to me once that you love me.. but why... why you do this to me? You know I love you so much, and it’s hurt when you ignore my feeling.”

Mayu looked into Yuki’s tearing eyes, she didn’t what to say. It’s true that she confessed to Yuki once, she did feel like that.. but it’s also because of her fans.. they like her with Yuki.. and MaYuki couple.. Mayu knows about this, and she wanted to impress her fans.

She never know that Yuki seriously fell for her,

          “Yuki... I... I’m.. you know what.. this is fan service. Everyone loves us together... I just do like what they want us to do.. we are idols Yuki, we  need to do as we are told.”

Yuki felt her heart is stopped beating, she felt pain rushing over her body. She started crying and looked away from Mayu.

Suddenly Mayu felt guilty. She held Yuki’s hand,

          “Yuki..listen.. I love you.. because you’re my bestfriend. We are from the same generation.. so you’re really special to me. I know how you feel about me, but Yuki.. we are idols for god sake.. our images are really important to us.  We must take care of it!”

Yuki still sobbing.. her pain is too much to handle.. but she managed to let out those words,

          “Mayu.. I don’t care about my image.. I don’t want to do this anymore..why don’t you understand.. you will losing yourself.”

Mayu sighed,

          “What are you saying? Why I lost myself? I enjoy what am doing now, I have you and my fans.. you guys are my medicine, when am sick or tired.. just to think of my fans and you.. I already feel much better. Now Yuki, we will talk again next time ok? Now we need to get prepare. Let’s go?”

Yuki looked down, she was speechless. You still don’t understand, Mayu.

 

          “Just go... I will go after you.. soon.”

Mayu again looked at Yuki and she wiped tear from her cheeks,

          “Stop crying~ You never like this before.. I wonder why you changed so much. Even we’re not at the same team like before, but we always stay contact right? Don’t think about useless things Yuki. We all know that this is our dream.. to become an idol.”

Yuki let out her bitter sweet smile and nodded,

          “I understand...”

Being blind by her pride, Mayu smiled satisfied. She thought she made Yuki understand. And she thought she was right all along.

 

When Mayu went out of the room.. Yuki immediately fell down, hugging her knees and started crying again.

 

..................................

 

          --Back to present time—

 

Mayu was in her own world while she was staring into the dark sky in front her... memories of her and Yuki started to flash again in her brain.. she always feel comfortable with the older girl.. there were times that Mayu showed her true self to Yuki.. only Yuki knows about that side of her. She was very happy when she near Yuki. She laugh when Yuki did her reaction which she though it’s silly. She admired the older girl’s angelic voice when she sing for her to sleep. Those time.. maybe the most happiness time for her. She knew, there were time that she faked to smile and laugh without any reason.. she did all of that for entertainment. Who want to see an idol being grumpy? Anyway Paruru is different.. Mayu and Paru are far different from each other. Mayu afraid one day she will lost to Paru.. she’s also one of an ace in the group.. so she can’t lose to her. That what Mayu always tell herself, she can’t lose to anyone.

Suddenly her phone vibrated, a text from Yuki,

 

          [Mayu... meet me at the playground near your apartment.]

 

Without wasting anytime, Mayu run out from her apartment to her destiny.

She arrived her destiny in 10 minutes, thanks to her running skill. She started looking for Yuki, just then she saw a familiar figure standing in front of an old Sakura tree. It’s Yuki…

She walked slowly to her and hugged her from behind,

          “Where were you? You know I’m so worried.”

Then Mayu released the hug and faced the other girl. She noticed Yuki’s eyes were red, she must be crying for a long time.

Yuki forced a smile,

          “I just wanted to be alone that time.. I’m sorry..”

          “It’s okay.. now that you’re here.. I’m happy now.”

          “Mayu..”

Yuki stopped talking and looked down.

Mayu noticed her bestfriend’s strange behavior then she held Yuki’s chin up,

          “What’s wrong? Tell me~”

          “I want to leave.. I will tell Akimoto-sensei about my graduation tomorrow.”

Her words made Mayu’s heart skipped,  she was so shocked that she didn’t notice she was crying.

They reminded silent and avoid each other contact. That moment made Mayuyu realized how stupid she is. She never knows her bestfriend want to leave her like this.

Mayu felt lonely all sudden.

          “Is that because of me?” Mayu broke the silent and asked Yuki with tears in her eyes.

          “No… it’s because of me myself. I don’t deceive being an idol. I don’t deceive to be your friend.”

Again, Yuki’s words hurt her so badly. She knew this because of her.

          “Yuki..” Mayu was sobbing hard, she felt empty inside.

Yuki noticed Mayu’s condition, then she hugged Mayu tightly,

          “Don’t blame yourself Mayu.. I never want to hurt you. You should know by now that you’re my everything. Even you don’t love me back, I can understand.. I don’t want to destroy your dream.. so the only way that I can do..is let you go. I don’t stop you anymore.. you born as an idol Mayu, I’m so proud and also worry about you. You said you’re happy with your image now  but I doubt was it a real happy? Was it a real smile of your?”

Yuki looked into Mayu’s tearing eyes,

          “If you have find your real happiness there.. I’m happy for you. But I know you for too long.. that’s not your trueself. Think about yourself more Mayu, Idol also a human being. Do you forget? You have feeling and heart too. Try follow your heart for one like I am now.”

 

Hearing no reply from Mayu made Yuki tearing up, then she laugh.. but it’s not her normal laugh.. it’s sound painful and sorrow.

          “I guess.. that’s it now. I can’t change your mind, Mayu. I’m sorry that wasting your precious time. I got to go now. Good bye Mayu.”

With that Yuki turned around and walked away, leaving Mayu alone in misery.

 

Mayu stood still. Her mind was completely dark, she was fighting with her own self. Just how the sky know her pain, it started to rain…

What am I going to do? Yuki will left me, I have no one to comfort me. Why.. why all of this happen to me? Now I’m going to choose between Yuki and my dream.. why I can’t have both.. I can’t choose! I hate you.. I really hate Mayu.. why you born like this!?

 

Mayu cried out loud and let her tears wash away by the pouring rain. It’s hurt… like someone stabbing her heart. Suddenly she felt weak, and fell to the ground. She can’t move her body. She started losing her version…

          “I’m sorry..Yuki..”

Then her eyes closed and everything was dark.

 

…………………..

a/n: kyaa.. I hate writing against fic.. >,< but somehow it’s new for me.. if you realized.. I like writing about realistic fic.. I mean.. for me.. I think.. Mayu is really born as an idol, she’s so perfect. Yuki also! That’s why I want to make it like that.. well.. in the end is confusing right? Yeah.. Am thinking about a two-shot. But it’s depend on my brain.. I hope it’s work well.. haha. Lol.. I can’t help but include Paruru into this.. Yeah.. I really adore her~~ ;D