That day, I was wrong
That day, I was wrong
”Seungho Hyung,” Joon gave me a newspaper.
I read the title of the article on newspaper.
“Gwenchana?” he asked me.
I smile at him. “I’m gwenchana.”
Actually, I’m not fine. I broke. I wanna scream. I wanna cry. I’m terrible. I regret everything. This morning, I saw article about her. How could be I don’t know that she date him since three years ago? We are best friend. Actually, I have fallen in love with her since beginning. But, she never know it.
“I wanna go out. I wanna search fresh air.” I said to Joon and gave him a bitter smile.
He just gave me a confuse look. “Oh, hyung. Be careful.”
“Oke”
I went to the park near our dorm. I sat at the benches. I squeeze the newspaper in my hand. I remembered all memories about us.
February, 2003.
I was on the way to school. I smiled when I saw the girl with a green bagpack. I messed her hair from behind. She turned her body.
“YAAAA, Seungho. Don’t mess my hair!”
“Hahahahaha” I loved to mess her hair. I loved to . I loved when she gave me her attention after I . I loved her so much. “Your hair was a mess before. Hehehe”
“Anni. My hair’s mess after you messed it.”
“Hahahaha. Arasseo.” I fixed her hair. Her hair’s so soft. She stood very stiff. “Wae? Is there something wrong”
“A...a...a...anni” she stuttered.
“Do you like it when I caress your hair?” I .
“A...a...Anni...Anni...Anni...” she stuttered again.
“Kajja. We are already late.” I embraced her shoulder.
Did she really love it? Did she have the same feelling like me? I smiled when thought about that.
“Wae? Is there something funny?” she aksed.
“You are so funny.” I replied.
“Tsk,” she felt annoyed.
That day, I was wrong. She never had the same feeling like me. She didn’t like when I caress her hair. She really really felt annoyed when I .
Mei, 2004.
“Seungho, you must study hard. Your score is so bad. Study with your friend!,” Mr. Park said in front of the class before he left.
I was so shame. I just lowered my head. I don’t like math. I bad at math. I felt my shoulder patted. I looked at who patted me. It’s her
She gave me a smile. Warm smile. Smile which make me feel peaceful. “Gwenchana, I will teach you. We will study together.”
“Gumawo. You always help me.” I smiled.
“It’s Ok. I will always beside you. In your good or hard time.”
“Do you like me that much?” I .
“Yeah, I like you that much. So, you must study hard and than go up a class. I dont want to separate with you because you cant go up a class.”
I smiled at her. She said that she liked me. I like you, too. I like you more. I love you. I love you. I will always love you. She said she would always beside me. I would always beside you, too. I never leaved you. Never ever.
That day, I was wrong. She liked me just as a bestfriend. Just it. She didn’t want to separate with me because I was her bestfriend. She never had that feeling. She didn’t mean it when she said that she would always beside me. She would not always besided me.
April, 2005.
“Seungho, there is someone who looking for you.” The girls who I loved, said.
“Nugu?” I asked her.
“She said that her name was Gyuri,”
“Aaaaah, Gyuri,”
“Do you know her?”
“Yes, I know her,”
“She was so beautiful, ofcourse you know her” she said sadly. She lowered her head.
“Wae? Are you jealous?” I .
“A...a...a...ni. Why should I be jealous? What for?” she suttered.
“Admit it. You are jealous because beautiful girl’s looking for me.” I again.
“A..a..a..ni, never.” She stuttered again.
“Don’t lie. Why did you stutter?”
“A...a...a...ni. Ani. Ani. I never stuttered. I just ...”
“Stttt, Arasseo, arasseo.” I stoped her before she finished her sentence. “I know that you are not stuttered,” I gave a devil smile.
I loved when she’s stuttered because of jealous. I loved when she didn’t want to admit that she was jealous. She was so cute.
That day, I was wrong. She never felt jealous with Gyuri. She never had that feeling. She never loved me, so she never felt jealous with Gyuri. I was too confident. I was so full of myself.
1st October, 2005.
“Sengho,do you remember this month is our birthday?” she asked
“I remember this month is my birthday. But does your birthday in this month, too?” I . Ofcourse I remember that. We always celebrate that together. 5 Oct, her happy day. Ofcoure, that day was my happy day, too. I’m so grateful to her parents for giving birth to a great daughter. She was so amazing.
“YAAAA, Seungho, dont you remember that my birthday is 5 Oct?” seh said angrily.
“Arasseo, I remember. I’m just kidding.”
“That’s not funny, Seungho.”
“Arasseo. Mianhe, mianhe.”
“Let’s celebrate together. Like last year.” Her voice’s so beautiful. Ofcoure I want it. Without she asked me, I will asked her.
“Do you really want it so bad?” I .
“Ani. If you don’t want it, it’s okay. I dont want it, too!” She’s cranky.
“Hahahaha. I’m just kidding. Don’t be cranky! Oke, deal. When will we celebrate it?” I asked her.
“My birtday is 5th. And your birthday is 16th. Hmmm, how about 10th?”
“Oke, deal. How about Planetarium at Daejeon? We can see planets and stars.”
“Nee, I love it.” She answered happily. I knew that she would love it. She loved stars very much.
“Okee. Deal.”
She asked me first. Is it mean that she loved me? Everybody want to celebrate their birthday with the people they loved. Is it mean that I’m the person she loved? Hahahaha. I’m so happy.
That day, I was wrong. I’m not the person she loved. I’m just her bestfriend. She thought of me as bestfriend. Nothing more. Just her bestfriend.
5th Oct 2005.
“Hey, birthday girl.” I patted her shoulder.
“Oh, Seungho.” She smiled at me.
“Mianhe, I forgot to buy gift for you.” Ofcourse I lied. I bought it yesterday. How could I forgot about gift for my beloved girl.
“Oh, gwenchana” she said sadly. I smiled at her. I hold her hand, I put something in her palm.
“Saengil chukkae,” I said. She opened her palm. There is a silver tiara ring. I could see through her eyes. I guess that she moved. Her eyes filled with tears. I took that ring from her palm, and I put the ring in her finger. It’s so perfect in her finger. She looked so happy.
That day, I was wrong. She would be fine if I didnt give her a gift. She never feel sad if I didn’t give her a gift. It just my imagination that she looked happy when I put that ring in her finger.
10th Oct 2005.
“Hyung, please.” Seunghoon asked me to accompany him. He want to buy a gift for her grilfriend. Tomorrow is her birthday.
“I have an appointment.”
“Hyung, I cant choose a gift. I dont know what should I buy. I know you frequently buy girl stuff. I know last month you bought pink headband.and last week you bought silver tiara ring. Please, hyung. Your appointment is at 5. It’s still 3 hours later.” He beg me. That’s true, last month I bought that headband for her. And last week, I bought silver tiara ring for her birthday gift.
“Arasseo,”
I accompany him to buy a gift for his girlfriend. And that’s took mare that three hours.
“YAAAAA. Quickly. I’ve picked out a variety of girl stuffs. But, there’s none that you like. What do you want to buy?” I felt desperate. She was waiting for me.
“I’m so confused, Hyung.” He said.
“Aaaaaah, I dont know. That’s up to you. I have an appointment. I have to go.” I left him. I ran to the planetarium. I hope she still wait for me.
In the planetarium, I search her but I didnt found her. Where is she? I looked at my watch. I late for 1 hours. It’s impossible that she still wait for me. I walked out the planetarium. Suddenly, there’s a person who hold my hand. I turned my body. It’s her.
“Hey, do you still wait for me?” I surprised.
“Ofcourse,we have been promised. I’m sure, you will be come. I will always wait for you.” She said and smiled.
I replied her smile. I messed her hair. “Mianhe, Seunghoon want me to accompany him to buy a gift for her girlfriend. I dont know that would take much time. And my handphone is lowbatt” I explained.
“It’s Oke, Seungho.” She smiled
“Gumawo.”
“What for?” she aksed.
“For still wait for me.”
“Ah, nee. Gumawo.”
“What for?” I aksed
“For keeping the promise to come.”
I was so happy. She said that she would always wait for me. I promised to only see her. I would not see the other girl. I promised.
That day, I was wrong. She didnt mean it. She would not wait for me. The fact, she is with the other man. I was so fool.
April, 2009.
“Seungho, I will debut soon” she said happily.
“Chukkae,” I was happy to hear that.
“I promise, the first person who heard my new song it has to be you, Seungho.” She said seriously.
“Gumawo. I will remember that. Keep that promise.”
“Arasseo”
She promised that. She promised I would be the first person that heard her new song. Is that a sign that she like me? Oh, I was so lucky.
That day, I was wrong. That promised is not a sign that she liked me. She just thought of me as her bestfriend. She just want her bestfriend would be the first person who heard her new song.
June, 2009.
“Seungho, can we meet?” she asked via hp.
“Ofcourse, I can. But, are you not busy?”
“Ani. There is always time for you. I want to show our new song.” She said happily. “Can you meet me at the park near our dorm?” she said.
“Oke.” their dorm near JTune Camp. I was a trainee at Jtune Camp. I knew that park. I went to that park. She has not come. I sat at the benches, waiting for her.
“Seungho,” she called my name happily
“Oh, hey.”
“Listen to me,
.... Amuri saenggakhaebwado,
Neo eobsineun andwae
Dasi naege dorawa .....” she sang beautifully. I liked her voice.
“That’s so beautiful.” I prise her.
“That’s first song. I have one more.
.... Eot.gal.ryeo
Sashilreun bogoshipeunde
Michidorok neoreul bogoshipeunde
Haneobshi neol gidaryeo
Gyeolguk neoreul gidaryeo
Hokshihago meomchweoseo jejarireul maemdone.....” she sang again.
I was so lucky could hear voice. She allowed me to listen her voice. Am I the only person who could hear her voice before the song released? Am I special person to her?
That day, I was wrong. I was not a special person to her. I just her bestfriend. Just her bestfriend. And now, I sat at that benches, that songs represented my heart now. First song, Amuri saenggakhaebwado, Neo eobsineun andwae, Dasi naege dorawa. And the second song, Eot.gal.ryeo, Sashilreun bogoshipeunde, Michidorok neoreul bogoshipeunde, Haneobshi neol gidaryeo, Gyeolguk neoreul gidaryeo, Hokshihago meomchweoseo jejarireul maemdone.
July, 2010.
“Seungho, I heard that MBLAQ wil debut at October, is that true?,” she asked me at the phone.
“That’s true. I promise, the the first person who heard my new song it has to be you. Like your promised to me”
“Hiks hiks hiks,” I heard her sobs.
“Are you crying? Why?,” I asked confused.
“I just feel happy that we can be at the same stage.”
“I’m happy too. Ah, do you want to hear my new song?” I offer.
“Ofcourse, I want”
“Meet me at that park.” I hung up the phone, and I run toward that park.
I sat at that benched, like last month. There is a person who covered my eyes from back.
“YAAAA, stop it! I know it’s you.” I could smell her parfume.
“Hehehe. Are you feeling excited?” she aksed happily.
"Oh, I feel it. Listen to me,
.... eotteon mueotdo neol daeshin halsueopseo
jigeum isungan neol saranghaneungeon naya
Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah Oh Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah Oh Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
nareul bomyeo miso jinneun geu eolgureul saranghae neol .....” I sang for her.
“Oooooh, so beautiful,” she moved.
“Gumawo,”
I was so happy that you liked my voice. That’s song was for you. “eotteon mueotdo neol daeshin halsueopseo”. there’s no one who can replace you. “jigeum isungan neol saranghaneungeon naya”. I really really love you. “nareul bomyeo miso jinneun geu eolgureul saranghae neol”. Your smile is the only smile that I liked.
Until now, there’s no one who could replace you. Until now, I really really love you, Until now, only your smile that I liked.
I read the title of newspaper in my hand. “[Breaking] T-ara’s Soyeon and Oh Jong Hyuk revealed to have been dating for the past 3 years”.
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