I felt the sensation of a cold water droplet on my skin and looked up to see the gray clouds roll by, cloaking the once bright sky. I do not know how long it has been since I came to the park. It felt like an eternity but I can’t even remember what I did, or why I was even there. One thing I know was that it didn’t matter.

Nothing mattered ever since I lost you and our friendship.

We still see each other often, and we still greet each other. But really, nothing has been the same. We no longer talk on a one-to-one basis. Even when we’re with the others, you rarely reply to what I say and you sit as far away as possible from me. You try your best to avoid me, or at least, to avoid being alone with me. Occasionally, when we bump into each other, you just apologize and walk away hastily. You can’t even look me in the eye. And you don’t even give me a chance to say a word. Just what should I do?

You were the one who said we could still be friends but deep down, we both know everything has changed. It was just a statement so blatantly flimsy you couldn’t believe it yourself. I would have chosen to trust in the steadfastness of our friendship. However, you’ve taken even that naivety from me.

If I knew things would turn out this way, I swear, I would never have kissed you. I would never have confessed to you. Seeing you recoil in shock and sudden realization was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. It hurt so much.

I know and I understand that love cannot be forced. I just wish things could be like they were before. Is that too much to ask? Perhaps it is, because even the clouds have cried for me, even the heavens took pity on me. And as the raindrops rolled down my cheeks, I can no longer differentiate them from my tears.

Again, I don’t know how long I’ve sat there in the rain. It was until I stopped feeling the raindrops mercilessly beating on me that I realized someone was there, holding an umbrella over my head.

“JooYeon unnie…” I didn’t expect anyone to be here, much less you.

“I’m sorry Nana.” She pulled me into a hug and that was when I realized how thoroughly drenched she was. She must have been searching for me frantically.

“You.. Why-“

“I’m sorry. I know I said we could still be friends, but I’m really sorry for acting so distant recently. I just.. I just needed some time.”

“I understand unnie. I never blamed you.”

“Really? Nana, you know I care a lot about our friendship and I don’t want to-”

“I know. So we’re still friends right?” I interrupted her because I couldn’t bear to listen anymore. I knew from the beginning that we will have no happy ending. I always knew.

“Of course we are, and we will always be friends.”