“I, Itano Tomomi, will graduate from AKB48.”

Those sentences… felt like a dream for Paru, a really awful dream, she didn’t know why but her eyes turned red and tears started flowing. It’s blocking her version. With her head down she’s listening to her Senpai’s speech, it’s broke her heart, completely.

……Flash Back……………

          “Paru-chan, let’s go to Yasukuni Shrine together?” Itano asked while looking at a shy girl in front of her.

          “Ehh.. Itano-san.. I.. ” Paruru was stuttering, she was shocked by her Senpai’s sudden invited.

          “What’s wrong? You don’t want to?”

          “NO! I want to… but Itano-san just asked me to go out with? It’s.. it’s so surprising..”

Itano was laughing and patted Paru’s head, “Kawaii~ haha yeah, I asked you out. Let’s go?”

Butterflies in stomach, Paru smiled and nodded shyly.

Both went to Yasukuni Shrine together and had so much fun until they noticed that it’s getting dark. They decided to find a hotel for staying for tonight. While walking down to the street, Itano stared at Paru with smile on her face.

          Itano’s POV

You looks so beautiful when you smile, I wonder why you’re not do it often? Why always look sad and worry? You’re really special you know…

Paru looked at me with this question look on her face,

“Itano-san? Why you looking at me?”

I smiled to her and shakes my head, “It’s nothing, you should smile often, it’s beautiful you know?.”

Maybe the moon is so bright but I swear I see her blushing. She looked down to the ground and smiling.

“Thank you.. Itano-san is so cute when eating ice-cream.”

There goes my cool image, now this girl knew my childish side and teasing me. She was laughing, suddenly I have this gut to held her hand.

She stopped laughing and looked at me curiously,

          “Itano-san?”

Her eyes… they’re so soft and bright, I lost in her eyes..  I stared at her for about 5 minutes then I said,

          “Paru… I really like you like this, keep smiling ok?”

Paru looked at me..deep.. she’s thinking of something, then I saw tears in her eyes. Why she crying?

Slowly, I used my hand to wipe away her tears.

          “Why are you crying?”

She looked down and wiping,

          “Thank you so much Itano-san… today is the most happiness day for me.”

I smile again, this girl is so cute. Why crying when you happy?

But then I realized, this girl went through a lot of things. She was pushing to become a center and worst, she was being compare to Acchan. The feeling of being compare.. I know it well. She’s received a lot of hates from antis.. but it’s not like her attention at all that has to dance in the front while everyone jealousy looking at her. I pulled her in for a hug, I want her to know that I understanding her feeling. I’m not good at words but I hope my action will comfort her.

She was surprised a little bit then she hugged me back, and break down crying. Unknowingly, my own tears also fell down from my cheeks. I am hurt to see her like this… I can feel her.

After a little while, I released the hug and grabbed both of her hand,

          “Paru.. no matter what happen.. stay strong and keep looking forward ok? Just remember that I always stand by your side. I love you Paru.”

          Paruru’s POV

I feel so comfort in Itano-san’s arms… this feeling.. I don’t know what to say.. There’re a lot of things in my mind. I always want to hide it, those feeling, because people told me to ignore my feeling. I have to obey it… and act like nothing happen. Every time I read comment from fans… there are some people that don’t like me… I don’t blame them, they are right to hate me. I accepted all of that… it’s my fault that I chose to chase my dream. No flower without rain…

Just then Itano-san released the hug and grabbed my hand tightly. 

Her eyes is red, she is crying because of me? I feel bad.

          “Paru.. no matter what happen.. stay strong and keep looking forward ok? Just remember that I always stand by your side. I love you Paru.”

                             (I love you Paru)

My mind is completely blind.. Those words.. my heart is beating so fast that I could hear it clearly. I lost in words..

Itano-san looked into my eyes then her eyes went down to my lip… suddenly I feel hot breath on my face and warm lip on mine, it’s happened so quick but for me it feel like the world is stopping.

Itano-san looked at me again and smiling,

          “Because Paru-chan is so cute, I can’t help but loving you so much. Don’t mind me that I stole your kiss ok?”

I started blushing hard.. I want to tell her that I really enjoy her warm lip on mind and it’s my first kiss. But I couldn’t say so.. I feel so embarrassed right now.

I shook my head,

          “It’s okay Itano-san… ”

We keep looking at each other… just like our eyes are communicating right now. It feels so strange, I start to wonder… is this love..?

………………………………….

Back to present time

          Paruru’s POV

          “Paru? Are you okay?”

I felt someone tapped my shoulder, then I looked back to see Yui beside me. She looked worried; I fake a smile and shook my head,

          “I’m ok, just a little bit tired..”

I know that I can’t lie to her, the look on her face, she still worry about me. Yui is my close friend, she knows everything about me.. and she is the one that always take care of me…beside Senpai..

My heart ached again when thinking about her… Itano-san..

          “Paru, it’s ok to cry… I know you like Itano-san so much and I know she likes you too, now that she decided to graduate from here but that not means you won’t meet her again… you can always contact her.”

Yui is right, I can always contact Senpai… but the fact that we won’t meet each other like before broke my heart. Everyday Senpai always give advices to me, always buy me my favorite food, and always encourage me to smile. She told me to be myself that I don’t need to fake my other side. She’s like a sister… but somehow… I don’t want her to be my sister. Suddenly I feel cold inside.

I hugged Yui because I really want it. She hugged me back.

          “Paru-chan…”

That voice.. I recognized it. I looked back to see the owner of that voice.

She looks sad as I am…

          “Itano-san..”

Yui immediately greet Senpai and then she walked away..

There are only us in this room. I stand still at the same spot and so does Senpai. We do nothing but looking at each other with tears in our eyes.

I want to congrats her of her graduation but I couldn’t make myself to say such words. I am completely in misery.

Itano-san walked slowly toward me, now that she’s in front of me.. I can’t help but break down and hug her.

I heard her crying..

          “Paru-chan.. I’m sorry.. I don’t tell you about this.. I wanted to tell you but… I know you will be sad.. and I don’t want to hurt your feeling.. again I want Paru to stay strong.. when I’m gone, Paru has to keep looking forward. Don’t care about the other… because Paru is Paru.. Paru know yourself well right? I know Paru well too. I want to see Paru become a great idol.”

I nodded while continue hugging her, my heart is hurting inside but I have to listen to her.. I will be strong and try hard to become like her.

          “Itano-san… I love you..”

I let out those three words that I want to tell her so bad, I don’t want to regret that I didn’t confess to her. I follow my heart this time..  even she won’t love me like the way I love her I’m not gonna be sad.

Itano-san looked at me… I couldn’t read her face.. just then I see her smile and.. a sudden warm lip on mine. This time we kiss a little bit longer… just when I feel my need for oxygen is getting strong, she released the kiss.

I don’t know why but I already missing that warm lip.

          “Paru-chan… you know, hearing your words make me incredibly happy right now. I’ve been falling for you since the first time I saw you. Don’t you know? I love you so much.”

Am I dreaming? Itano-san also loves me back? But is that sisters love? I’m scare that what she means is a sister love..

          “But Itano-san… do you love me like a sister?”

I am so nervous right now…

Senpai laughs and then she caress my cheek..

          “Do sisters kiss each other on the lip?”

Ehh… 

          “Tomochin? Akimoto-Sensei is looking for you.”

I heard Yuko-san was calling Senpai,

          “Okay, I will be there soon.”

Itano-san replied and then she looked back at me. She smiled and pulled me in for quick kiss.

          “Silly girl.. I love you , now I hope you understand what it means. I’m going to meet Sensei, I will text you soon ok?”

Not want to waste Senpai time; I nodded my head and smile at her. Her words are enough for me to understand now.

I have this mix feeling, but then I remember Senpai’s words… I smile alone.. Senpai’s love is enough for me now.

…………………………………

2 months has passed since the real graduation day of my beloved Senpai. I have to say.. I feel so lonely without her. But no matter what, I won’t let her down. I will be a strong girl. Today is very tired day because I have to record a lot of activities and also a new single. I only sleep for 3 hours today. I really need the strength for my oncoming performance in theater. 

When I was walking back to my made-up room, my phone suddenly vibrated. It’s a message from Senpai.

I quickly read it,

          [ My love Paru-chan.. Ganbatte-o! Don’t forget to smile on the stage and drink healthy milk that I gave you. I’m off to Paris now.  Don’t worry, I will always by your side! :* !]

I smile while reading her text, now my strength has come… I won’t be afraid of anything. I’m going to make Senpai proud when she comes back. Thanks for always stand by my side, Itano-san…. I love you forever.