Hey!~ Say!~ JUMP!
HSJ: ARIGATOU MINNASAN! See you next time! (The boys bowed and everyone in Tokyo DOME gave them a long standing ovation!)
The moment the boys left the stage, the audience pushed their way to the exit, hoping to see the boys glamour once more before they leave for the venue. I too, tried my best to make my way to the exit, but unfortunately for me, I was too short to see the walkway. Everyone was pushing and squeezing, and suddenly there was a loud scream! "AHHHHHH YAMADA RYOSUKE!!!!!!~ CHINEN YURI!!!!" 2 of the members first exited... The crowd started to push violently hoping to shake the hands of the boys. There's no way I can get close. The heat from everyone's bodies are suffocating me. I don't feel well~I even lost my balance and got trampled by those around me...

"Why is it so difficult? All I want is to show you my support. I want to tell you I love you as much as them," I silently retreated into the background (not like I was ever in the picture) and left the venue without a glimpse of him.

"Ouch, it hurts," the wounds from the fall are now crying out to me. Scratches, blood...I hate myself for being so weak. Why can I never be as strong as those girls. To make things worst, the weather is freezing cold... I sat alone outside Johnny's Entertainment building, somewhere secluded, waiting for him to come out. 

It didn't take long for me to hear screams coming from not too far away. I didn't bother to walk to the source of the scream because from previous experiences, it would be probably another wasted trip because he won't notice my presence anyway. I'll just wait where he will find me. This place is part of our secret. No one else can know about it, or the repercussions will be horrifying.

So, I sat, waited, and ~ I don't know why, my tears started to fall. A sweet cologne smell approached me. And as soon as I sensed his presence, I quickly wiped my tears away so he wouldn't see it.

"Miku! Quick, we've got to leave this place or I am scared the girls will see us together," he took my hands and ran. My wounds~ it hurts even more now as the cold wind cuts through my skin. My face was already frozen from sitting in the cold for almost an hour, and now the moving wind is making my whole body feels achy. His hands are warm though, and his back view is y and mesmerising, but it only helped distract me a little from the pain.
You:"Ryosuke. OUCH. Please stop for a while," I struggled to keep up with him.
Ryosuke:"Just a little more. I cannot be seen with you, or I am in big trouble!" For some reason, the more frightened he is, the more it hurts my heart. 
Ryosuke:"Phew, okay, we will be safe here...that's so tiring. by the way, Miku, why didn't you come. Well, I know you aren't interested in concerts and all, but I hope you at least come once for me."

I felt an arrow just pierced through my heart. Tears just rolled down my eyes. I looked into his eyes, so beautiful, so captivating, and I thought I can stop myself from saying things that will lead me to regrets. But I can't help to think whether he has even looked at me since just now. Did he notice my injuries, did he notice I am dying from the cold.

"Ryochan. I did go. I was there. I shouted your name. I always did. From just now, did you take a look at me? For you, I ~ (I couldn't continue the sentence). I am tired too. Since we are both tired, let's just go home now," I broke off his warm hands as much as I really didn't want to. He ran in front of me and cupped my face with his hands.

"Why are you crying? What's wrong?" he looked straight into my eyes with concern. I am captivated by him again. The handsome dude who attracted tens of thousands of screams just now is right in front of me, and why am I leaving this y guy. I wanted to hug him so bad, I want his addictive kiss, but the reality is hurting even more. 
"I already said. Didn't you hear?! I AM TIRED! PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY!" I shouted. Damn, why did I do that.
He slowly put down his hands...I can feel that him backing off. He responded my rudeness "I just performed for 3 hours straight. I don't know why you are so sensitive now, and I don't know what you are thinking, but I thought you wanted to spend some alone time. Here I am, also as tired as you are, so why are you treating me like this. I thought you understood me."
Oh my gosh, that answered my questions, he hasn't looked at me since just now. He doesn't know I am cold, I am hurt, and now I am going to break.
"I thought you understood me too," I replied. I walked away before we engage in any more heated conversation. I know that my choice of walking away now will bring me further away from him to the point of no return. It will probably end it all, but I guess we have never been near each other. I am actually hoping he will give me a backhug, stop me from leaving but ~ he just stood.

I ran and ran towards the direction of my house. I cried all the way back. Thoughts flood my mind....I was never a fan of JPOP, HSJ or entertainment if it wasn't for Ryosuke. He was my classmate for 4 years. I was once disgusted by those girls who crazed over him every moment at school. I also thought for a while that he was really snobbish cause he didn't seem to have notice anyone. But, it is after a year, I realised he's just shy despite being an artiste. He was not good at making friends, that is why he never initiated any conversations with anyone. When I finally understood this, I decided to know him more. I watched his dramas, listened to his songs and followed his programmes and it didn't take me long to change my perception of him. I wanted to know him better as a person, a real person, but I could always not find an opportunity given all the fangirls surrounding him all the time. Until our school teacher paired us up for a pair project work. The reason why sensei paired us up is because I never looked interested about him, so sensei figured that he should be safer with me, instead of those girls who are infatuated by him. We got to know each other better, and he, to my amazement, opened up to me. We bickered, we had fun...we were comfortable with each other, or at least I feel he was. and after the submission of the project, he pulled me to the school rooftop and ~ he kissed me...It felt really good. he was hot. really hot. It was a long kiss, but I hope it was longer. His embrace felt so comfortable, I couldn't quite forget it. The project gave us legitimate reasons to meet, so after the project ended, we couldn't find time to date. He was really busy with work. He always want to give his best at work, so he practiced till late most of the time. I sympathised with him and wanted to show my support for him just like the fans, so that's when I started attending all his events. But, only after I attended his events that I realised we are so far away from each other. He is so impressive on stage, he is like someone I didn't know, someone I can never touch, and his fans' love are so unconditional, so amazing. I don't even think my love for him is more than any of his fans. Maybe, just maybe, we should never have started...

...
/sneeze/ I feel so terrible. I feel like I am burning. My wounds got infected, I caught a cold, and now I am running a fever. Damn! And my eyes are swollen from yesterday's 'break up' (hmm, I don't even know what is the status of our relationship). Oh great, the tv is showing the recap of hsj concert, and I cry again when the screen showed his flawless face. I kept staring at his lips, I longed for his kiss; I stared at his body, and I thought of his hug! AH, I switched off the tv. Please YAMADA RYOSUKE, get out of my life!

My phone rang...(I was hoping it's him..but AS IF!)
You: Moshi Moshi
Chinen: Miku...It's me Chinen. Are you okay? You sound different.
You: Chinen-kun ~(hmm, why is it him. but yeah, the chinen the fans know on screen is the same as in class. He's very kind to everyone, very down to earth. But then I didn't expect him to call, except he is close with Ryosuke...)
You: I'm down with fever. Opps, I forgot to tell sensei. Chinen-kun, do you mind if you can help me pass the message to sensei?
Chinen: oH my. Of course I'll let sensei know. Are you feeling any better?
You: hmm, I don't think so. But, I hope I will get well soon enough. (I feel so sick, thanks to his best friend. I wanted to say that to Chinen, but nevermind, why do I bother to slander him to his best friend who is also as freaking popular as he is.)
Chinen: Miku ~ you know Ryosuke, he...
You: Chinen-kun, I have to go now. I need to rest. (As much as it sounds like an excuse to escape from anything Ryosuke, I really feel weak and feel like I will faint if I talk anymore) 
I plugged down the phone as soon as I finished saying...

Oh my, my view is spinning.....I laid my head down on the table, and knelt on the floor. I don't even know when I fell asleep, until a pair of arms carried me to my bed...Who is this? This person placed a cold towel on my neck..Ah it's painful, so I grabbed the pair of hands.

"Ouch...Stop, who are you~" I cried because I feel so horrible. My body is breaking apart...that's how I felt.
"You must be really sick...It's okay now, I'll take care of you..." a very sweet, soothing male voice said to me..
I rubbed my eyes, hoping I can see this person better. Oh my.. He's Ryosuke!
"Ryo-chan, I am sorry for acting like this yesterday...I thought that's it between us...I didn't want it like to end like this. I really love you. I am such a failure...I can't even match up to your fans who do so much more for you," I cried.
He sat closer to me on the bed and have me lie on his shoulders. I am totally in his embrace, feeling his warmth radiating through my veins. His neck, his chest, his hands, his everything are like a comfort to me.
"Shh~" he silenced me with what I longed for...he brought my lips close to him and kissed me. His lips so soft, so tasty. His breathe was sweet... I wanted to have him all. He departed his lips and then observed my plastered wounds...(oh my, he noticed). He pressed his lips on my palm where one of my paster was. He rubbed my hands with his. I feel good already.
"Miku~ It's my fault for not being observant yesterday. I should have noticed your freezing hands when I held them yesterday, yet I forced you to run with me. Even if you didn't come to watch my performance, I have no right to blame you. Because I love you for the same exact reason - for you love me, not because I was Yamada Ryosuke on TV, but for who I really am. But I should have known you did go, cause even Chinen saw you. I was too unobservant. It's my fault. And I am such a jerk for not noticing you got hurt. It's because of me that you are in this state today. I am really sorry. Please don't say we are breaking up. Please" there's tears in his eyes, I can see it.
I went even closer to him now. I pressed my body on him and hugged his waist. I laid my head on his chest and said "Let's start all over. You are my Ryosuke and I don't want to surrender so fast. I want you by my side!"
Ryosuke: "Thank you Miku... I promise to love you~"
You: "Me too"
He held my hands tightly, and again pressed his lips onto mine. And I did so too. I slowly fell asleep beside him. He didn't leave me as he promised. He hugged me and eventually he fell asleep too. He is exhausted too, from work, I know it. I peeped at his face which was just beside mine, and he is sound asleep... 
"Ryochan, I promise to be more understanding to you...I promise to take your tiredness away from you and fill you with love and only love..." I thought and I tugged myself back into his arms and slept.