disclaiming rights:

I, abbyeepinkish13 | --whisperbabe the author, say that I don't own any labels/artists known throughout the story. The story is completely out of FanFiction, therefore it is fictitious. Any scene that could resemble that of a person's life is completely coincidental.

an unexpected depart

by --whisperbabe

“If you knew that this is the future set for you, will you still accomplish your dream?”

            December 21, 2009; 3:37AM; Super Junior Dormitory

            Hankyung carried all of his clothes from his closet to his bed, which was close to an open luggage bag. He didn't want to catch any of his friends' attentions, for they might ask him why he's doing this all of the sudden. As much as possible, he didn't want any of his friends to know what his true ideals were even though it gives him pain deep inside his heart.

            For the past years, being in Seoul has become a dream come true for him. Ever since he arrived in 2003, he has met great friends who care for him, and he was able to improve the talent he possesses. Unfortunately, it was becoming more of a burden to him, and he couldn't stand it any longer—the pain that he underwent under the clutches of what used to be, the company that was supposed to build his dreams with his hard work... perhaps, too much hard work, which resulted to unfair treatments.

            Every time he would lay a t-shirt or a pair of boxers inside, Hankyung would turn his head at the door behind him and check if anyone saw him doing such a thing. He knew that the Super Junior members would find out about it when he returns to China, but he didn't want to ruin such a wonderful night—it was rare for Super Junior members to all be in one apartment, partying together like wild animals because of the yuletide season. He didn't want to see even a single frown on one of their faces.

            The loud, drunk voices of Donghae, Leeteuk and Shindong echoed throughout the whole twelfth floor, even piercing through the walls of Hankyung and Heechul's room, where Hankyung is discreetly packing up his clothes. Hankyung was even able to recognize Sungmin's voice in spite of the three's undeniably tone-deafening voices who were singing to the song “Party in the USA”, wherein Sungmin spoke a few words in between hiccups about Kyuhyun doing some mischievous things, and lecturing him that it was wrong of him to hit Yesung on the head while the turtle-loving man was sleeping on the couch. He could hardly hear Eunhyuk, but Hankyung was sure that by the time he entered his bedroom, he knew that Eunhyuk was on his way to the restroom with his hand laid on top of his stomach, and another hand on top of his mouth. Siwon was having a few shots with Heechul and Ryeowook at the living room, wherein Yesung had passed out due to the shots he had drank.

            It was a happy night—sure, everyone was joyful and grateful for the successful year that passed them, and it seemed like it was also the year wherein he was the happiest in Super Junior, wherein he had decided to leave earlier than expected because he had to move on to greener pastures. He has been planning for this event ever since; he just didn't know when exactly.

            Hankyung didn't have any regrets that he had planned taking to China along with him, except the regret of being an unfaithful friend. He was betraying them, in a way, since all they ever showed him was kindness and hospitality—that feeling that somehow, he's part of a family despite being a stranger, a foreigner to be exact, in South Korea. It pained him to do this, but heaven knows when his sufferings will end. His health has been in danger since the company restricted him from his rights. He remembered the contract he signed very well, but he had to do something since the situation is getting out of hand. He might even collapse onstage all of the sudden due to his sickness or any other things that worry him, moreover, that could worry his friends even more... and he didn't want that.

            And so he packed... and he didn't stop.

            When he was close to packing a few pieces left, someone practically hit his knuckles on the door loudly. Alarmed, Hankyung immediately tossed in the remaining, few clothes that he needed to pack, and zipped the luggage bag before hiding it under his bed.

            “Hankyung-a! Open this f***ing door.” Hankyung heard Heechul's voice, his roommate and close friend. So close, people mistake them as a real couple because of Heechul's lady-like looks. Although Heechul's beauty seemed to be divine, his attitude was a real problem—he would swear even when he's happily drunk; he couldn't control his temper to the point that he could even break down in front of a lot of people; a narcissistic man who only cares for those who care for him. Even if Hankyung was an atheist, he isn't one to resort to revenge, whereas with Heechul, he has always held his grudges towards the world ever since... every little thing mattered.

            Hankyung headed towards the door, turning the knob with his hand as opened the door for Heechul. Upon stepping inside the room, Heechul stumbled—his head, almost hitting the ground if it weren't for Hankyung catching the falling drunkard in his arms. Grasping onto Hankyung's thin yet muscular arms, Heechul giggled with his eyes almost closing themselves up. He has definitely reached his limit—one can tell from the giddy-faced Kim Heechul.

            “Heechul-a! Stand up!” Hankyung raised his voice for Heechul to be aware, at least, of whatever he's doing. However, Heechul remained stubborn and continued clinging on Hankyung's arms. Hankyung sighed, thinking that he has no other choice but to drag him towards his bed.

            Hankyung dragged Heechul towards the drunk man's bed while walking backwards. Hankyung would continuously check his back in order to tell whether they were close or not. Up close, Hankyung held Heechul tightly as he tried to move behind him before gently laying him on the pink-sheeted bed. At first, Heechul ended up lying down with his stomach facing the bed, which is why Hankyung took the liberty of turning him over, facing the ceiling above him.

            Heechul was panting quite fast, and hiccups would escape in between breaths. He unconsciously laid the back of his palm on his forehead as if he was in pain. Seeing him in such a condition, Hankyung became uneasy.

            Hankyung sat down by the side of the bed as he touched Heechul's cheeks using the back of his palm to check his temperature. Upon doing so, Hankyung noticed that Heechul didn't have a fever. Not so soon after that, he felt a slap on his right cheek that made his cheek red and woke him up to his senses.

            With the hand he used for slapping Hankyung's cheek, Heechul pointed his index finger at Hankyung as he laughed. “You're still as gullible as before, Hankyung.”

            Annoyed with the trick he played, Hankyung slapped Heechul back, angering the older man.

            “Yah,” Heechul tried to suppress the tone of his voice. “Why did you slap me just now?”

            It was normal for Hankyung to see Heechul infuriated towards something, whether it be anti-fans insulting them for no reason at all or a t-shirt of his that has yet to be returned since pre-debut years. He was getting quite used to Heechul raising his voice from time to time, out of anger. In fact, behind what seems to be a cold-hearted man to people, is the Kim Heechul who's longing for peace within himself. And Hankyung knew that Heechul hated himself at a certain point in his life, but he didn't know for what exact reason it was for. Heechul kept on saying that he hated himself for being a person whom people find peculiar due to his blood type, but Hankyung knew there was something more to himself that Heechul hated...

            “It's to wake you up back to your senses.” Hankyung replied with a slight Chinese accent present in his words.

            Upon hearing his answer, Heechul shrugged his shoulders and tried to find a comfortable position for him to relax on his bed. While doing so, he uttered a few words.

            “Hankyung, do you remember the time when I removed your mask in front of national TV?” Heechul asked while puffing a few of his pillows.

            Hankyung gave a sigh before answering Heechul's question. It seems to him that Heechul has returned to Earth from his drunk state, but one can't be too sure of that.

            “Yeah, I still remember that. Why?” Hankyung asked as he felt a hand grip onto his—a hand, which was colder than his very own.

            As he laid down on his bed, Heechul curved his lip at the Chinese man, sitting by the side of his bed. “I just feel so hypocritical at times, but that moment when I took your mask off, it just felt... good.”

            Upon hearing Heechul's answer, Hankyung chuckled to himself. “So... it felt good that you exposed me on national television and almost got me deported out of the country?”

            Heechul laughed at Hankyung's attempt of humor, in a way that it's most likely true. He got Hankyung into a lot of trouble, but... “No. But it felt good, knowing that [i]you[/i] were able to fulfill your dreams ever since I took that mask off you... as Hankyung, not as the mysterious Super Junior member behind the mask.”

            Hankyung took a deep breath, musing to himself regarding Heechul's answer. It was true—if it weren't for Heechul, the real Hankyung won't be standing onstage; dancing, singing, fulfilling his dreams.

            Smiling, he retorted. “It felt good because it was the right thing to do.”

            Silence surrounded the both of them—nothing but the thumping noises of feet could be heard and felt inside the bedroom. But by looking into their eyes, one would be able to notice that communication was being observed even with eye contact... like both of them had something they yearned to tell each other.

            Finally, Heechul broke the silence between them by releasing his grip onto Hankyung's hand, tucking himself inside his blanket. “The right thing to do is, sometimes, the most difficult thing to accomplish.”

            Hankyung felt his heart sting in pain. He lowered his head, hiding the frown on his face from Heechul. “Yes, I know that.”

            “But your dreams aren't wasted. It took you patience and determination to get yourself to where you are right now.” Heechul took a deep breath out of relief as he closed his eyes. “Even if the company's pushing you too hard, you've never lost that smile of yours.”

            It took Hankyung a few seconds to think before facing Heechul. Truly, the company has been rough on him. But it's not like Heechul just watched him in his pain. In fact, Heechul has been facing quite a difficult path himself to the point that he had vomited blood during a few of Super Junior's dance rehearsals.

            “Heechul,”

            “Yeah?”

            “If you knew that this is the future set for you, will you still accomplish your dream?”

            Heechul opened his eyes upon hearing Hankyung's question. Strangely, the question bothered him, but it didn't take him a long time to answer it.

            “If I knew that this was going to happen when I'm a star, then I'd quit.” Heechul responded, making Hankyung lift his head and curve his lip at him, “But...”

            Upon knowing the word 'but' come out from Heechul's lips, Hankyung's smile faded.

            “But I hold no regrets. What's done is done. I must hold on to my decision until the very end. I'll stick to it, because no matter how hard things get, I'll always have my friends to guide me anyway.”

            Hankyung couldn't bear to smile upon hearing Heechul's words. It was enough to make him answer his question on rising up against the company that has given him so much pain. The company helped in accomplishing his dream, but the treatment towards him was unfair. Same goes to Heechul and the others.

            “Is that so?” Hankyung muttered to himself, however, it was still audible enough for Heechul to hear.

            “Yeah,” Heechul replied smilingly, folding his arms behind his head to rest on. “I know that there's something wrong about what they're doing, and I know that it's so hypocritical for me to say that I'm a righteous person, when in fact, I deny what's in front of me. I just think that... it may be the right thing because... it's a smart decision for my dream. And because it's a smart decision, I have no regrets in joining the company whatsoever. It doesn't matter to me anymore since it's the past. What matters to me, now, are the people around me and their feelings.”

            “I see,”

            “Hankyung,” Heechul closed his eyes upon calling his name. Hankyung responded quickly, “Yes?”

            “I have two favors that I need to ask of you.”

            “What?”

            “First,” Heechul lifted his hand and raised his index finger to indicate numbering. “Life is about choices; not anyone's choice, but yours. How you live your life depends on the decisions you make.”

            Hankyung widened his eyes. “So what's your favor, Heechul?”

            “I'm telling you that in the end, your decisions will only matter to you, so I'm asking you to always follow that, okay?” Heechul then lifted another finger. “Second, I might come home around 2AM or 3AM tomorrow because I have recording. I might be too busy, so as your Christmas gift to me, buy me a bar of white chocolate; the most expensive one, okay?”

            “The most expensive!?” Hankyung reacted. “Yah, Kim Heechul!”

            “Those are my favors...” Heechul hid his hand under his head before yawning. “Are you willing to accept them?”

            Hankyung nodded in a way that he was proud of ever meeting Heechul. “Yes, Heechul.”

            Heechul yawned before turning towards the wall. “Alright. I shall now rest in peace.”

            Hankyung smiled at Heechul as he uttered a few words in Chinese. “You don't have a reason to hate yourself, Heechul. You know which is right from wrong, so I won't worry on what decision you'll make. I just hope that one day, you could join me in this decision of mine.” using the back of his palm, Hankyung caressed Heechul's rosy cheeks.  “Live well, Heechul, and don't seclude yourself from your happiness. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have made this decision of mine to stand up. Thank you... and I love you, Kim Heechul.”

            As soon as he ceased his words, Hankyung heard a snort coming from Heechul.

            “What the hell are you mumbling to yourself? I'm trying to sleep here.” Heechul groaned, covering his head with his blanket.

            Hankyung smiled. “Nothing.” he then walked towards his bed, which was a few meters away from Heechul's. As he tucked himself in his blanket, Hankyung gazed at Heechul's back, and it was the last thing he saw before going to sleep. “Sweet dreams, Heechul.”

            “Sweet dreams, Kim Heechul.”

            December 22, 2009; 1:45PM; SBS TV Station

            The manager arrived in front of the radio station's entrance with a car, waiting for Heechul to come out of those very doors. He had some bad news for Heechul, but he was quite hesitant on whether he should tell Heechul or not... depending on his mood.

            As soon as Heechul stepped out of the glass doors of the building, walking down a couple of stairs, his manager removed his hands from his chest and placed them on the car door, getting a basket filled with all different brands of white chocolate, covered in a transparent cellophane.

            Heechul ceased his steps upon seeing the basket before looking at his manager, whose face had a hint of bitterness on it.

            Something isn't right, Heechul thought.

            And when he heard what his manager had to say, Heechul widened his eyes in surprise. At first, he asked his manager if this was a joke or if this was one of those variety shows where they secretly video you, but Heechul knew that somewhere, deep inside of him, it was true.

            Knowing that Heechul won't be convinced so easily, his manager points out the card taped on the basket.

            Upon reading it, Heechul's tears made their way down his cheeks, and he groaned out loud as he crumpled the card that Hankyung left behind. Out of anger, he hits the basket full of white chocolate as it fell on the ground. He knelt down, his knees numbing as his hands touched the concrete floor. His manager rushed to his side, urging him to go inside immediately, for who knows; there may be people who, at ungodly hours, would take a photo of him in his state.

            Obeying his manager's command, Heechul made an effort to stand up by himself while his manager walked beside him for support. After Heechul boarded the blue mini-van, his manager headed to the driver's seat and drove away, leaving the basket of white chocolate on the ground, tilted, and the crumpled card.

         “Heechul,

            I hope that someday, you may join me in this decision of mine. Thank you for the times we've spent together, and I'm sorry.

                  Hankyung.    

            PS: As part of your wish, here are your chocolates."