Anger.
Madman.
I tried it, I really tried. I failed alot and now I'm here, killing myself.
No, I'm not going to take my own life, why would I do that?
I got everything, everything beside a man, a male, a fairy, or better said...
Someone who looks too cute for me, someone who is too precious to hold my work marked hands.
I was as usually at my desk, the monitor was even when I wasn't paying attention to it. I kept writing, writing until I accidently knocked over one of the figures. I stared at it, weirdly nature, nature made from human hands down there in Japan. Its staring at me with smiling eyes and a smiling mouth. Its eyes were empty anyways, empty, dead. Like someone I know, someone who has been bothering me all day. Someone who makes me stare, stealing glances, more than I should.
Ah, .
I lost track of where I was, now I can't continue anymore. Now someone is dancing in my mind, as if its the most comfortable thing to do, as if its a law to dance.
No, no. Its not, now get out, get out, get out.
The screen suddenly turned dark, leaving the whole smaller room dark aswell. I moved the mouse to let the electronic light shine again, "I'm going crazy." I murmured to himself before I clicked on the "Browser" icon on my desktop. Mh, instagram opened, it was crazy. The follower count kept changing, more and more. "Mhmm.." Clicking around much more.
"Why is it so hard to fall asleep?" I told myself as I opened another tab, youtube.
Searching artists, Chet baker, Billie Holiday, Duke Ellington, Bill Evans and... I accidently typed in someones name, aish.
I angrily closed the tabs, staring at the blank desktop with the icons for musicsoftwares, browers but kakaotalk caught my eye.
I clicked on it with hesitance. Just randomly typing into the chatroom we made an year ago.
"u there?" I typed in english, of course.
"Stop with the english!" someone typed back, it. Is he some kind of spying me?
I knew he will be angry when I don't write back now, but who cares.
Shutting the whole PC off, I sat there. In the dark, watching the electronic dying. even so I was still angry.
Why him?
With this question in my head, I went to bed.
Filling my pillow with much more thoughts, but unusually, today I think of someone.
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