Decorum – something I was taught to act with for it may lead me to a bright future, apparently.

Though, the only thing it led me to was a life without the touch of love, attachment and sincerity. To act with decorum will lead you to happiness, they said. Yes, it led me to having endless amount of money which is always being added on to per day, but that’s not happiness.

Happiness is feeling fulfilment for achieving something. An example of this would be: creating a family and spending the rest of your life watching over and guiding your children to become a loving human without judging them based on their achievement, nor forcing them to act decorum.

Bright future, they say.

If watching the person you’re tied to make love to someone else is your definition of a bright future, then my current situation is for you – not me. My definition of bright future is something completely different from what my parents had in mind.

Decorum led me to unhappiness and an increase of yearn for death.

Though, I am still human. It’s just that my humanity prefers hiding behind its armour so it can survive all the cruel things life lashes at me; it chose to only appear when the right time comes. When life’s lashes can be battled with the constant warmth and security I’m receiving from someone, that’s when my humanity will reveal itself.

I downed another glass of red wine, at the same time watching as the party happens before me. I was tempted to scoff at my husband’s sheer attempt of hiding his eager hands sprawling another woman’s body. Honestly, I don’t give a damn and I’d even gladly offer our room for them to spill their obvious needs for each other.

As usual, I was greeted monotonously by other guests. Even though I’m the host’s wife, they marginalise me which I prefer. Being burdened with a lot of responsibilities was never my thing, and I’d pick living off a middle-class family rather than growing in a high-class family. At least, I can pursue my own dreams fair and square.

“I can see that you’re really enjoying this party.” The voice belonging to a male surprised me, especially since his greeting was longer than a word and there was a slight mockery in his tone.

I lifted my gaze off my husband and glanced up to meet a pair of dark chocolate brown eyes. A chuckle escaped my lips and I nodded, “Why, yes, I am.” I responded with dripping sarcasm.

The owner of the pair of brown eyes cracked into a smile and offered his hand to me. His actions intrigue me, so I let him resume whatever he’s up to. “A dance wouldn’t kill you; in fact it would lessen your bold boredom.” His way of requesting for a dance was definitely unique, but since he’s the only one willing to accompany me during this suffocating party, I agreed.

I didn’t want to chase away the only offer to lessen my boredom for this night, which would be crazy.

So, I slipped my hand into his and mirrored his smile. “The dance itself wouldn’t kill me; it would be the pair of shoes I’m wearing which would. But, you know what? Let’s go dance, since you seem so eager to dance with me.”

His eyes formed into crescents and his smile grew with a hint of amusement. “Dance, we shall.”

I inwardly laughed at his formal idiom, though I know that wasn’t his proper way of speaking. His following actions made me curious. He led me to the isolated garden and left the door open, not caring about the amount of complaints he received from the other guests because of the cold breeze. It’s their fault for wearing such skimpy clothing.

“Take off those,” He eyed my heels and furrowed his eyebrows while humming to think of what to call my ridiculously high heels. “Feet murderer.” I laughed but gladly did as he instructed, though I found it a bit weird. I decided not to question his intentions for I didn’t sense anything bad, only mischief.

“Now step on my shoes.” He resumed instructing me, and I obeyed each of his words, my eyes never leaving his. I placed one of my hands on top of his broad shoulder and using the other hand; I held his hand which was lifted up. He made sure to support my balance by placing his only available hand on the centre of my back.

The foreign feeling of being safe rose inside me. Strange, I thought. What is this stranger doing to me?

“Now, just relax and listen to the music.” The unnamed male whispered and I can’t help but let my eyes linger on his plump lips.

Just like that, we danced to the barely audible music. Our eyes focused on each other’s lips, sometimes even meeting each other.

Unfortunately, the sun rose and our moment in paradise were ruined. One of the butlers interrupted our mini dance session under the moonlight informing me that my husband will soon be holding his ending speech.

I and the brown-eyed male broke our close physical contact and I shivered as I finally felt the low temperature. “Thank you for the dance, my lady.” He grinned boyishly and draped his blazer over my shoulders before walking before me.

His intoxicating scent filled my nose and I found it hard to move. I was under a spell, a spell casted by that brown-eyed male which left me wanting more of him. More of us.

What the hell is going on with me?