Last Song -- One shot song story

Description

Winter is supposed to be a time of beauty and cuddling. But, what happens when 2 people fall in love and are deciding to get married, only to find out each other cheated? Will they be able to get back together? Or will they forever be apart?

Foreword

This is my first one shot, I wrote this story about 3 years ago after listening to Gackt's song, "Last Song." I found the english lyrics to it and it helped me to figure out how to write this story. I've kept it hidden thinking it would be a stupid story, but I decided to see what everyone thinks about it. "Last Song" is one of my FAVORITE songs from Gackt and it had me in tears along with this story.

So, please be nice as seeing this is my first one-shot.

Give me some feedback on the story and tell me what you think.

 

Just so you know, I did not put any names in it because I want the readers to put in their own character names. So, as you read this story, think of who you want as the 2 characters. It could be yourself and someone else, or it could be your favorite idol and yourself, or it could be someone completely different.

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Comments

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Amalya #1
Chapter 1: I enjoyed reading this bittersweet tale. I will say I was confused by the tense switches between present and past which didn't seem to have much rhyme or reason, but the meaning was still clear. The use of 'cause' in place of 'because' is a bit jarring but again, not detrimental and I felt that ending on the song itself and not some introspection of the main character left me somewhat lacking but, not bad overall.

Like I said, I did enjoy the piece, as happy/sad as it was. The song takes up a large portion of the story (though I suppose that's not uncommon in a song fic - I haven't written one myself >.>) but what you added around it definitely had meaning that was conveyed quite nicely.

It's obvious they loved each other and that the feelings they shared haven't entirely disappeared, though one can see she has moved on more successfully than he has. That is perhaps the most sad part that is it is only when we have lost what we care most about that we realize what we truly had to begin with. Poor babies, though I appreciate her willingness to help him even after the fact. There is certainly something to be said for them too in that they were both guilty of the same crime though it was interesting how one was more wrapped up in it than the other, which led to their eventual decline. :(

I can see why such a song would make one cry and you convey emotion enough to explain that feeling in the fic. It's rather heartbreaking the way the male character sort of wanders off at the end, clinging to something that won't happen no matter how much he wishes for it.

Very sad but poignant indeed. Thank you for sharing. :)
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