I sat there for what seemed like an eternity, watching him. Just watching. And waiting. And hoping he would turn around and see me. Maybe seeing me would make him remember what it was like when we were together. Maybe it would make him want me back.

He didn’t notice me sitting across the courtyard from him, staring, watching, and thinking. He didn’t notice me clenching my fists so hard that my nails dug into my palm. He didn’t notice me.

But I knew he was thinking of me. Because I could see our bracelet on his right hand and the letters on that – hyukjae + donghae = Luv forever. We’d bought that when we’d first gotten together years ago.

 He’d shaken his head and grinned at me. You hopeless romantic, you. I’d smirked back at him. Just to remind you of me.  

He ran his fingers over the words. I watched, fascinated by the way he was tracing over the letters with his finger. It was mesmerizing.  

I took a deep breath. Maybe the best thing to do would be to talk to him, face-­‐to-­‐face like the adults that we were. His group was leaving. Now was my perfect opportunity to talk to him, to ask him the question I’d been dying to ask. Do you still love me?

**

It had been perfect when we first started out. I liked him, he liked me and neither of us cared what anyone else thought about us. He treated me well; I tried my best to make him happy. For a while, it all worked out.  

But I slowly began to feel like he wasn’t worth all the effort. It wasn’t that he changed so much as he just wasn’t enough for me. Solid, dependable Hyukjae. Always there, never any surprises – some call it reliable but I called it boring. I was yearning for excitement, for the rebel who only I would be able to tame, for the drama of broken hearts, fights and screaming matches. Hyukjae couldn’t offer me any of that.  

I knew my yearning didn’t make much sense, which was why I stayed with Hyukjae. I stayed and waited, hoping either that I would grow out of the phase, he might change