I'd like to say we gave it a try

I'd like to blame it all on life

'YAH. If manager oppa get's here and you two are still in there he's going to be suspicious. He's coming up soon so you two better get out here.' Sunny shouted as she banged on the bathroom door.

Taeyeon laughed as Jessica bit her lip, not loosening her grip on her at all. They had been making out in the bathroom for the past 10 minutes or so before Sunny started banging on the door surprising them both. Jessica barged into the bathroom to change her clothes while Taeyeon was brushing her teeth and after a little teasing from Taeyeon and a few comebacks from Jessica they found themselves in each other's arms gasping for air.

They had been in a relationship for about 7 months now, they could never go public though. How could they? They were idols after all. It was hard keeping their hands off of each other at home and onstage, especially with the stage outfits they wore sometimes, but they just couldn't approach each other freely and engage in skinship thoughtlessly. Fans were selfish, they knew that much. They didn't want them to date or even get close to other people, girls or boys. They knew about the fanfiction they wrote. They wanted Taeyeon with Tiffany and Jessica with Yuri. Either that or they wanted the girls to themselves. Maybe if they were living another life, no one else's opinion would matter and they could be together like normal couples.

Maybe we just weren't right, but that's a lie, that's a lie

That was probably one of their worst experiences ever. One minute the stadium was filled with bright, colorful lights, and the next all they saw was darkness. They knew that they weren't very popular at the time but they weren't aware that so many people were against them performing. It was traumatic, to say the least. They struggled to keep their voices unwavering as they sang, only seeing a small pink ocean and stage lights. This wasn't what they trained for for years. 

Everyone was upset, eyes swollen and red from crying. They entered their dorm silent, unspoken words of consolation hung in the air. Majority of the girls were still crying, but not Taeyeon. She had to be strong for her girls. She had to be strong for her. Being the one who trained the longest, Jessica was crushed. She cried her heart out that night on the living room couch. It hurt so much that people shot down what she worked so hard for, what they all worked so hard for. But she was thankful that the girls were there with her. That she was there by her side. 

Taeyeon walked towards the couch, sitting beside the lonely figure. She could feel her shaking from crying as she sat. She put her arms around her and soothed her until all that was left were sobs and sniffles. For once that night, Jessica felt that things were okay. It was safe and comfortable where she was. Not in that stage in the dark stadium, but in her arms. It felt right.

And we can deny it as much as we want

But in time our feelings will show 

Things went downhill after a little argument between them. 

'You're getting a little too close to Tiff, okay.' Jessica fumed as she explained the reason for her jealousy.

'That's it? THAT'S IT?!' Taeyeon asked incredulously. 'You've been ignoring me for days for being too close to Fany? Sica you know it's just fanservice!' 

'Yeah well it doesn't look like it's just fanservice!' Jessica retorted.

'Then what? Do you think I'm cheating on you with her? Do you think I'd purposely do that where you can see?' Taeyeon asked, fuming.

'So what, you mean you'd do it where I can't see?" Jessica scoffed.

'UGH. Why are you being like this?!'

'You know maybe we were wrong going into this relationship. I think we should just,' Jessica exhaled heavily. 'We should just stop this Tae. This isn't going to work out if we keep arguing about this.' she said as she walked away, leaving Taeyeon dumbfounded.

Now she's trying to patch things up between them. She knows about the fans wanting to see them close like they were before. But that just can't happen too quickly because she's still hurt over what happened. She still loves her, but getting too close to her would just lead to them getting back together and fighting over the same thing again. So Taeyeon did what she thought she did best, she ran. She ran away from her feelings, her emotions, her love. 

To say that she was hurt was an understatement. She tried so many times interacting with her on stage. But what did she get? Nothing. She'd get close to her and tap her, but all she'd do was hide behind someone else. Jessica had been regretting that fight for months, it was stupid how she got so jealous over some skinship with their best friend. Now, Taeyeon's been doing nothing but avoiding her and running away from her. It hurt.

But no matter how bad things were, those stolen glances meant so much. Whether they tried to hide it or not, their feelings would always show. The hurt, the pain, the longing and the love. 

The truth is, everyone knows

Almost is never enough

This was her chance. Right after their guesting on Yoo Hee Yeol's Sketchbook, she caught Taeyeon looking at her. And she could see all the emotions she had been hiding from everyone, especially from her. They sat beside each other the whole time but they barely looked at each other. Well, Taeyeon barely looked at her. Jessica smiled a lot and tapped her a few times, but Taeyeon didn't respond at all. Taeyeon's been sad lately. That's what she learned when Taeyeon stood up during one of the segments of their guesting. She figured Tae was also still hurting over their breakup. She was still hurting too. Jessica thought that Taeyeon was finally ready to talk to her again. She was positive.

When they got to the waiting room after their segment was over, she hurried to pack her things and leave before that someone talked to her. Taeyeon was scared. She was scared that once Jessica talked to her again, she would take her back in her arms only to be hurt again. She didn't want to talk. Not now. Not any time soon. She was the first to get to the waiting room, luckily for her the two American girls headed to the bathroom first before heading back to the waiting room. Minutes after she finished fixing her stuff, they walked into the room. She was shocked, and so was Jessica. She had her duffel bag slung on her shoulder but then her gaze fell on hers. And for that split-second, she felt a surge of emotions overtaking her. She looked away quickly, of course. One more second and she would have run to her and kissed her because she's missed those lips for so long. She almost lost her control, almost let the facade she built come crashing down. Almost. 

So close to being in love

If I would have known that you wanted me the way I wanted you

I miss her. She says as she tells Sunny why she's been running away from Jessica. They had been drinking in the dorm for about 2 hours now, and all she could think about was her. Her eyes. How she loved looking into them after waiting for her to wake up. Her nose. How she'd scrunch it up when she could smell cucumbers. And her lips. Those lips that always left her breathless. Sunny repeatedly told her to get back with Jessica and talk it out. But she just shook her head.

'I can't say hello if I know I'm risking another goodbye.'

She sighs for the nth time that night. Telling her sister about her messed up love life was tiring. Tell her you miss her, Krystal says. But she knows it's not easy. Especially because it's the Ice Princess we're talking about here. But for Taeyeon, she'd surely melt. Besides, some people are worth melting for, right? She's tried to talk to her for so many times now, she tells Krystal. But Taeyeon just runs and hides, and it's hurting her too much. But she knows that Taeyeon still loves her, she saw the look in her eyes. So get back together, Krystal tells her.

'I don't know if she still has the same feelings. I don't know if she still wants me the same way.'

Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart

But right here in each other's arms

And we almost, we almost knew what love was

But almost is never enough.

Maybe if Taeyeon just stopped running away. Maybe if Jessica was never jealous to begin with. Maybe if they just talked it out. Maybe if they were brave enough. They were getting there slowly though. Side-glances here, stolen glances there. A tap here, a smile there. They were almost there. They were almost back to where they had begun. But truthfully they still had a long way to go. After all, almost is never enough.