Yan looked up at the building in front of her. It was particularly magnificent or anything, honestly it looked like any other regular office building to her. But she guessed what did matter was what was inside, the many talented people swarming the various dance studios, sound proof rooms, recording studios, vocal training rooms and what not.

 

Yan was a little apprehensive about entering the famous building, she was beginning to second guess whether it had been the right choice to follow Ellen to Korea as her dance assistant.

 

“Come on, Yan! If you keep staring at the building, we’ll never get in,” Ellen called out to Yan, an amused smile touching her lips. “Stop second guessing everything, everything is gonna be all right.” Ellen somehow read Yan’s mind, and Ellen’s words mildly reassured Yan, she was still second guessing her decision.

 

“Coming,” Yan said to Ellen, pulling her thin jacket around her frame a little more securely, sometimes she wondered how the Ellen Kim, an amazing dancer who she never thought would notice someone like herself. With light and quick steps, Yan reached her side. There was someone waiting outside the glass doors for the both of them.

 

“It’s great to see you again, Ellen,” the person bowed formally, “this must be your assistant, I assume?” The man smiled at Yan as she bowed slightly.

 

“I’m Qiuyan,” Yan introduced myself to the man. The man gave her a quick once over and smiled.

 

“Let’s go inside then,” the man tapped a security pass on the scanner which induced a quiet clicking, he passed two passes to the two, “this is for the duration of your stay, so that it’s easier for both of you to go in and out of the building.” Yan’s eyes traveled around the corridor, seeing posters of the many successful k-pop groups. Her eyes lingered on one particular group then directed her attention back on the man. There were young people all around Yan and Ellen, hanging around in small groups, their eyes watching the little trio carefully.

 

The young people were all attractive in one way or another, whether it was in the typical korean way or just good looking in general. SM did have a high standard after all, but then again, the entire industry was filled with good looking people, especially if they were just debuting. Yan wondered they really had a in house plastic surgeon as rumored.

 

“This is where Exo will be practicing, they’re having a half-day today, they’ll be here in half an hour or so,” the man showed them into a dance studio, it lacked the sky print that Yan had come to associate SM’s dance studios with. Perhaps it was just that one room where they filmed their dance practices. “I’ll leave you to your preparations.” He bowed again, and Yan realized that she didn’t catch his name.

 

Yan was beginning to tremble a little, nervousness sinking into her bones, “relax,” Yan jumped a little when Ellen perched her hand on Yan’s shoulder. “Don’t worry,” Ellen gave Yan a loose hug, and a couple more reassuring words. Yan visibly relaxed and she removed her long sleeved shirt, tying it around her waist. She had on a sleeveless white shirt underneath and a pair of harem sweatpants. 

 

Pulling her arms behind her head, Yan made sure to stretch out her muscles well, she went through a fairly standard stretching routine, ending with a split. Her mind was wandering, her thoughts converging on one particular person.

 

“I’m so tired,” Sehun said, his tone whining, as he rubbed the sleep away from his eyes. The performance of Wolf the night before was particularly exhausting, probably also because they had been on music and variety shows consecutively the past few days. Tao was leaning on Kris slightly as they walked through the familiar corridors of the SM building.  

 

There was a lack of words between the group members, even Baekhyun didn’t say anything, they were just really worn out. Suho opened the door for the members, greeting the choreographer inside, the others followed his lead.

 

“Hello!” The choreographer waved both hands excitedly at the boys, “did you miss me?” The boys recognized the voice as belonging to Ellen, the female choreographer who had assisted with Wolf’s choreography. There was someone else who was standing there.

 

Tao stopped when he saw the familiar silhouette of the other person. It couldn’t be, he thought to himself, his eyes widening in shock, it couldn’t be. The person turned and he recognized the person immediately.

 

Qiuyan. Her name was on repeat in his mind in her voice. Their eyes met, her face was completely hostile and she stared at him with dark piercing eyes, akin to his own intense stare. Tao looked up and down her frame, realizing that she seemed to have lost some weight, she looked thinner and her arms more well defined, most likely from her dance and gymnastics. Her dark red hair was tucked behind one ear, fell to slightly below her shoulders. She looked almost the same, maybe a little taller than the last time he saw her.

 

There was a sinking feeling of guilt in Tao’s stomach, threatening to sink him there and then. He knew what he had done and failed to do, and it hurt him. But then it also hurt Yan.

 

Yan stopped talking to Ellen when she heard the door behind them open and Ellen greeted them happily. Yan turned around to look at the boys, her eyes briefly examining their features and expressions before her eyes fell on one particular boy.

 

Huang Zitao. He looked the same as when we parted, except that now he had a different hairstyle, blonde hair with a side swept fringe that fell just above his eyes, the sides of his hair shaved and dyed the same color. He seemed to have become more confident, there was a quiet confident aura around him.

 

A quiet anger was building up inside Yan, she hated Tao for what he did to their friendship, burnt it and left her to sweep up the ashes. She wanted to slap him there and then, scream at him that he was an . 

 

“Qiuyan will be my assistant for these two to three weeks as you learn the choreography for Growl, do treat her well.” Ellen signaled to Yan to say something.

 

“I’m Qiuyan, you may call me Yan,” Yan bowed, a smile touching her lips, she didn’t care what they called her, except for Tao, she didn’t want him to call her by her nickname, he was only entitled to calling her by her full name.

 

“All right, let’s get down to it,” Ellen clapped her hands and reached to press the play button on the stereo. Yan moved to her place opposite of Ellen as the choreography had two distinct groups and she was demonstrating the other group.

 

The three minutes went by quickly and once they had finished the routine, Exo gave a round of applause before Ellen got them to get up and start learning the choreography. Yan would go around and correct their mistakes or answer their questions about the choreography as Ellen taught.

 

“Did you manage to get it?” Yan asked Chen, she knew that he was one of the three who were not so good with dancing. Chen nodded unsurely as he quickly showed Yan what they had just learnt. 

 

“All right, it’s pretty good, just this bit...” Yan got Chen to do the part and she began to correct his posture a little, “like this it’ll be a bit easier for you to transition into the next move.” Chen nodded and gave her a grateful smile.

 

Yan was avoiding Tao at all costs, he didn’t need much correction with the choreography anyway, Yan refused to make eye contact with him or even look in his general direction. She quickly exchanged places with Ellen as it was her turn to teach the choreography while Ellen took a rest and went around.

 

After about four hours, Ellen decided it was good time to take a break, “I’m going to fill my bottle with water, do you want me to help you fill yours?” Yan offered, and Ellen nodded, passing Yan her own water bottle.

 

“The cooler is just down the hallway,” Ellen gave her a couple of directions, and Yan went on her way. Most of the boys had gone to fill their bottles as well, so Ellen trusted Yan to follow the boys if she got a bit lost. But it was unlikely, Yan had a fairly good sense of direction. Ellen spotted Tao sitting by himself, knees tucked into his chest, arms folded across his knees, a troubled look adorned his handsome features.

 

“You all right?” Ellen crouched in front of him, tapping his arm to get his attention.

 

“Yeah,” Tao said unconvincingly. 

 

Ellen sighed, “what’s wrong, Tao? Is it about Yan?” Tao’s head jerked up at the mention of Yan’s name, his eyes large and questioning. 

 

“H-How? How do you know about it?” Tao’s voice was hoarse, almost like he had been crying for a while, his eyes were filled with a mixture of hurt and guilt, and Ellen almost cried seeing poor Tao so confused and in pain. Ellen brushed his cheek reassuringly.

 

“Yan told me, please don’t be sad, Tao. The situation isn’t as bad as it seems,” Ellen comforted him, her words gentle on his ears, but it didn’t comfort him at all.

 

“She, she hates me,” Tao breathed out shakily, tears threatening to spill over, “when we saw one another just now, she glared at me, I could almost hear her voice saying that she hated me. And the thing is, I know that it’s my fault.” Tao sniffled a little, a tear leaking out.

 

Suho’s eyes widened in alarm when he saw Ellen talking to Tao seriously, the latter had a miserable look on his face, and looked as if he was about to cry any moment. Suho quickly went over to the two and crouched beside Tao. “Tao-ah, what’s wrong? Don’t cry,” Suho slipped his arms around Tao’s body, his arms couldn’t quite reach Tao’s back but he pulled Tao’s head into his shoulder, his hand rubbing circles on his back.

 

The members looked at each other in confusion, wondering what had suddenly gotten into Tao. They formed a half circle around their panda, patting his head and giving him reassuring words.

 

Yan returned to the room only to see the Exo members crowding around someone at the edge of the room, she walked over curiously, and tip-toed a little to see what was going on. Her heart sank when she realized that Tao was crying, and it was probably because of her.

 

Yan’s heart ached so badly, the pain was so physically numbing that she couldn’t stand to be around anyone at the moment. The only thing that was running through her mind was that it was her fault that Tao was crying so badly. 

 

Yan fled the room, turning down corridors that she had never seen before, she just wanted to get as far away from Tao at the moment. She opened empty rooms in search of a small place where she could squeeze herself into. Yan slammed open a door where there was a grand piano sitting in a corner of the room. She forced her body into the tight space and buried her face in her arms.

 

I’m sorry, Tao. I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. That was the single, solitary thought that was running through Yan’s mind.