Haru:

With her game bag in hand, Haru immediately left for the girls' locker room the moment she and her brother arrived at the gym. 

"I'll see you inside!" His brother yelled at her as he was getting his own gym bag out the trunk. Haru rolled her eyes. Damien was such a slow poke; she was already halfway across the lot when he hollered at her. She waved a hand at him in recognition, and continued walking her way.

She stripped off her clothes and got rid of her shoes once she got inside the changing room. Haru immediately put on her Keiko-gi and Hakama; she didn't like the feeling of cold air hitting her skin. Then kept her favorite pair of sneakers and took out her flip-flops. She didn't need shoes when she was out striking her opponents, but she didn't want her feet to get dirty either.

Haru walked over to the huge mirror in the bathroom and tied her long hair up. Then looked herself up and down. She was presentable, like always; she never looked unruly for Kendo. But she never thought she looked good either.

With the bathroom light hitting her, she looked paler in the mirror, and older. She thought her lips looked dry, and she still couldn't get over the fact that she had chubby baby cheeks -- like the baby fat never left her face despite being a teenager, after which she finally looked at the part of herself she had always dreaded. 

When Haru looked at her eyes, because they were the part of herself she never understood, she stared hard. She stared at the green, and the flecks of blue-ish-gray. She didn't know how they meshed at all with the black that was her iris, but it was somehow alright. When she stared hard enough, she almost saw something attractive about her eyes.

Almost.

Then she looked at the rest of her and only saw what could be a freak of nature. She could see the dark circles under her eyes, and all her little imperfections. Not being tall enough, having small feet, having hair that changed as often as the weather --frizzy one day, then flat the next. She never knew what to do with it, either.

Haru scowled at her reflection in the mirror. If it was one thing she was thankful for about Kendo, it was the fact that she had a thick helmet to cover her face from everyone else who was watching. Then she finally felt like she could blend in.

"Haru!" Someone yelled from outsider the bathroom door. She realized it was her brother from his persistent knocking. "Get your out of there. Coach is looking for you." He told her.

"Coming," she said quietly and made her way to the door, shoving her brother in the process. He growled at her, literally growled at her, but it didn't bother Haru anyway. She figured she deserved it. She must've taken more time in the locker room than she thought she did.

-----//-----

The arena they were in reminded Haru of a box. It really was what it was, she thought. It looked like a box -- one with seats, lights, and heaters. It was the shade of brown that looked like cardboard, which only emphasized Haru's point further. But it was okay, she thought. It was properly vented so it didn't smell like sweat or molds…not really.

After scouring the arena for the nth time, people watching just for the heck of it, Haru watched her brother sparring with his opponent from her side of the court.

Despite how much of a goofball he was, she still admired him, a lot. He took care of her when they were kids, played with her whenever she wanted him to. Now that they were older they no longer played as much, but he still did care. He always gave her first pick when it came to fried chicken, or which pizza slice had more cheese. And he always saved her an extra scoop of ice cream…most of the time.

When Haru saw that her brother was already winning [thank God his crush wasn't here otherwise he'd be thrown off focus], she held the edge of her seat. She'd most probably run to Damien if she didn't; she wouldn't be able to hold back her glee of having another sibling win.

1, she thought to herself. Damien was so close to winning.

2, Haru's eyes widened with expectation. Now her hands were clasped together.

3. "Yes!" She yelled and jumped up from her seat. Yes, yes, yes! She thought.

She was grinning like an idiot while her brother bowed to his opponent and calmly walked his way towards her. He was being nice and all, but deep down, Haru knew her brother was trying his best not to smirk.

"Kept my seat warm, spud?' He asked her and patted her head. Normally she'd hate when he did that, but this was a special occasion. This was a win. Haru shrugged. She stood up from her seat so her brother had a place to watch her. She was next on the matt.

"Good luck out there," Her brother said. "I hear your opponent's the sister of mine." He laughed. "What a coincidence."

"Well," she began. "Then I guess I've got nothing to worry about." She told him and laughed.

Damien laughed too. "Just don't get cocky," he said. Haru nodded, then she put on her helmet, got her Shinai ready, then she made her way to the matts. 

-----//-----

Haru knew she would win.

She knew it just like she knew she was always going to be in honor's English, and History and Math. Even though she was bad at Math.

And even though this wasn't her best spar ever, she knew she'd win. She just had to figure out how. Every move in her life was calculated ---except for Himchan.

Himchan. The moment she thought about it, Haru's thoughts flitted to the boy in her head. She couldn't see much when her Men, her helmet, was on but she saw Himchan clearly in her head.

She saw his smile, and his beautiful dark hair that was short at the back but had a fringe up front. She saw his fingers flitting across pages of his Chemistry book, saw his lips as they moved. Haru didn't even realize until now that she stared at his lips; she was kind of happy that she did.

Haru felt a thud in her heart as she continued to think about Himchan, but that thud reverberated through her shoulder too. Her eyes widened when she realized she had just gotten hit by her opponent's pole.

It got harder to concentrate after that, because then she got hit on the side of her calf. She felt the stinging pain of the wood making contact with her skin. Her eyes teared up a bit. She couldn't lose, not now, not when she was so close to winning the match. She had the upperhand the whole time, but during their last bout, it seemed like her opponent had a little more leverage than she did. Just a little bit, but that could cost her the game.

Damn it, she thought. Every hit she took was a constant reminder to stop thinking about Himchan, which only made her realized that she was thinking about him a lot.

"The matt is no place to think, Harumi!!" The cheers of the crowd were loud in her ears, but amidst that, she could still hear her coach, and her brother who was telling her to focus. 

Focus, she thought to herself. Focus.

She took a few more hits before the final round ended. There was an unsteadiness in her chest, and a beating in her heart she didn't understand. She found a way to overcome it, like always, except she had a hard time finding her rhythm again. Himchan tended to do that to her.

Haru could feel the sweat dripping down her back, worry overcoming her. Just a bit more, she thought to herself. Stop thinking about him now. If you stop thinking about him now, you'll have the whole night to do just that, she reasoned out with herself and did just that. With all her will, Haru pushed all uneeded and unwated thoughts out of her mind.

Step, step, step, block, strike. Before she knew it, she had already hit her opponent.

In a matter of a few seconds, Haru had won.

Himchan:

"What's wrong with you??" Jongup's voice rang in his ears. He hadn't noticed how close his partner was yelling at him.

Himchan shook his head as if shaking it would keep thoughts about his hidden crush away. "Nothing," he told Jongup who only gave him a scowl. He guessed he deserved it. He was never good at playing pool when he didn't feel like it, especially now that he was thinking about something else.

"Keep it together, man." Jongup told him and shoved Himchan to the side. It was his turn to strike.  Himchan stared at his partner with blank eyes as Jongup approached the pool table. It wasn't his fault Jongup wanted to team up with him. 

They were playing pool at Zelo's basement, just him and the rest of the guys. Three teams, two members each. No girlfriends tonight, and for that Himchan was thankful. He didn't like it when there were too many people around him, especially if they were regular people he saw everyday.

"Can I just quit?" Himchan said and lay on the bean bag that was closest to him. "I never said I wanted to play,"

"You're such a wuss!" Jongup called at him before hitting the white ball on the billiard table, causing the red 8 ball to fall into it's pocket.

"If he's quitting, I'm quitting." Youngjae said and dropped his cue stick. Then he sat down on the floor near Himchan.

"Me too," Yongguk told everyone and went to the couch, picked up a nacho from the plate of food on the coffee table, and spread out his legs before him.

Daehyun was the only one smiling in the room at this point. He spoke gleefully. "I guess that's it," he said. "I win!"

"No fair!" Zelo yelled, still holding his cue stick. "You always win,"

Himchan covered his face with a pillow so couldn't hear them. He didn't want to be here in the first place. It was all Daehyun's fault for picking him up unexpectedly and dragging him to play pool on a day when he didn't want to play.

All he wanted to do was be at home and think. He wanted to think about what happened during the afternoon, about where Haru sat in his house or which plate she used to eat on. He wanted to think about her just being there, her voice and her laugh, and the way her eyes crinkled up on the sides when she smiled widely. 

He wondered where she was going that evening. She didn't look like she was going straight home. Plus, her brother seemed like he was in a hurry; it couldn't just be because they had to be home.

Himchan wondered what she was thinking about right now, and if she even thought about him the way he had thought about her, if she ever thought about him anyway. He thought about her when they were in school, how quiet and reserved she always was. How much fun she must have when she was with her friends. He wanted to think about her until he ran out of things to think of, which was highly unlikely. Himchan was always thinking.

He threw the pillow covering his head away. It landed on Youngjae who only looked at him in surprise, like how could a pillow magically fly onto his lap. He could care less who it hit.

Instead, he rummaged through his bag until he found what he was looking for: his walkman and his headset.

Himchan played it from where he last left off, lay back down on the bean bag he claimed his, and closed his eyes again. He let the rhythm and the lyrics of the song take him away. He wondered if Haru liked listening to music, and if she did, he wondered what songs she liked.

Maybe this way, he'd be able to think of Haru more clearly, see her more clearly in the eye of his mind. Yeah, maybe that was it.

The longer he did this, the more he would lose his control over not smiling. He always tried his best not to show how he felt, but he could already feel the sides of his mouth curling up.

-----//-----

Himchan got home pretty late that night. He thought he could leave earlier, but he forgot he hadn't brought a car. 

So he got back close to midnight, with Yongguk driving him home.

He wasn't as terrified of Yongguk as he was before, like when they were in grade school or when they used to ride on the bus. Sure he was scary, but at times he would allow himself to think that they realy were friends -- so he was safe. Relatively. Besides, he wouldn't do anything to have Yongguk against him; he learned to keep his silence. That was why he kept Haru a secret.

He and Yongguk drove by the town proper, which was still pretty much alive, despite the lateness of the hour.

They passed by Teddy's, this pretty cool diner since it had the best burgers and cheese fries in the whole world. Himchan was about to totally ignore it when Yongguk spoke up.

"Do you see that?" Yongguk asked, a hint of mischief and amusement present in his voice.

Himchan didn't know what his friend was talking about, and so he looked. Inside Teddy's, right beside the window, was Haru and her brother. They were drinking milkshakes and eating fries. Then her parents walked in and sat beside them. Haru looked so happy. Her parents gave her flowers, and gave her brother something in a box. It looked as if they were celebrating something.

Yongguk laughed, just laughed, but said nothing more.

With the remaining minutes he had left before he got home, Himchan looked outside the window. He looked at the lights of the town. He looked at the people going home, and the cars that passed him by.

Then he wondered what it would be like to go out on a date with Haru.

a/n

Allo, everyone! It's been a very long time!