A/N: Italics are used to represent the character's thoughts. 


The words were coming. I felt terrible. He was everything she had ever imagined wanting in a guy. The words were coming. I felt regret. There was absolutely no way I could’ve kept lying to him. He loved me. I loved that. I loved the idea of him, of a relationship, of the feeling of being “taken”. But I could not be with him. I had already tried all methods available to me, invented and thought a million ways of which I would magically begin feeling something…anything remotely close to that thing people call ‘love’ for him. My methods never worked, and all I ever got in return was a refreshed feeling of emptiness, and a dire hopelessness that I would not, by any means, ever, find someone like him. I felt guilty and alone.

Never did I think that I would hurt him this way. From the very beginning I had imagined that I would eventually achieve that feeling of completion, of want, desire, or even lust.

How disappointed was I, when two months into dating, I had yet to feel anything for him. I had felt even worse, when he suddenly blurted out those three “special” words. At least they were supposed to be special, I knew that. But there was nothing special in the things I felt when I heard them: Regret, and incorrigible thoughts of somewhere along ‘how is this possible?’ and ‘why me?’ My feelings had irrevocably disappointed me, and now they were going to disappoint him. I was going to break his heart and I hoped it would be quick….and maybe, somewhat painless --- for the both of us.

I stepped into the building, with as much grace as she could possibly muster in situations like these. Because, I thought, all situations like these require a decent amount of gracefulness. I smiled, and saw him…instantly receiving that butterfly feeling everyone gets at least once in their lives for one reason or another.

“Hey, Sungho…you look nice today – I cringed. I was making terrible conversation, he knew it. Heck, the whole damn restaurant knows it. His reply was short, knowing, like he was getting ready for a battle that he knew he had already lost. So I continued.  “I think we should stop seeing each other. I’m sorry for leading you on. I thought things could work out, but apparently, I can’t make myself feel something I don’t no matter how hard I try” – Realizing I had said a little too much, I straightened my back and prepared for a comeback, a mean retort, a talk-down, anything. My expectations, however, were met with silence and with him, strangely, walking out of the restaurant not before, of course, saying something that sounded a lot like “I won’t give up, Park Bom.”

So that was done with, now I had to deal with the knowledge that I may...most likely, be alone for the rest of my life and maybe even begin considering the prospect of pets. Cats. A lot of cats (I was, however, ultimately disappointed when later that week I discovered an allergy towards them and ended up purchasing another dog whom I named ‘Summer’).

As I walked away from the restaurant, I couldn’t help but notice that someone had been following me, possibly even heard the whole conversation I just had with my ex, and might’ve even taken pictures of the whole affair. Wonderful. So, I turned around, just to make sure it wasn’t paparazzi (and if it was, then the president was going to kill me). To my (thankful) surprise, it was no other than my faithful friend – and when I say faithful, I don’t really mean it at all, G-Dragon. Looking all magnificent with his bleached blonde hair, weird (but tasteful) clothes, and eyebrows that were done in much nicer fashion than mine.

“Hey, Ms. Park! Long time no see! Looking well, I see.”  – He knocked my fist, like he did with all his friends, and hugged me. It was a long hug; he lingered on my body as if he was reluctant to part with my touch. The funny thing was I had never noticed that little detail until today. It made me frown, but I hurriedly brushed the thought away.

“Hi, G. I thought you still had work to do at the studio. What are you doing here? – There was a long pause. I could see it in his face that he was thinking of a lie that would make him look like he had casually dropped by and randomly, not deliberately at all, overheard my conversation with Sungho.  “How much did you hear and why did you follow me” – It was not even a question anymore. It was more of a statement, part of a procedure to reveal his intentions. His expression had given him away.

He struggled with words, and looked a little squirmy in his burgundy jacket. It hung low on his shoulders, like it was meant to be worn by someone with a little more size. Maybe it was. I knew that he had been losing weight recently, I just never realized how much.

“Oh, I didn’t hear much…you know…just the breaking up with him part. Not the whole thing.” – He smirked.

“Not the whole thing? What else do you think we talked about? The breaking up part WAS the whole thing!” – Laughing. He waved a hand in front of me in a dismissing manner, and began walking away. Confidence pouring out of his relaxed walk, there was something happy about it today. His expression was that of a child the morning after Christmas.

“Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone else” – There was a playful look in his eyes.

“Yeah, I bet you won’t. I’ll seriously karate chop you if you do, KWON JIYONG!  -- I smacked him in the arm, and walked ahead of him in an effort to show him that the consequences of his actions wouldn’t be pretty. When I thought I got the message across, I turned and smiled “Wanna give me a ride back to the office? I don’t want to call my manager. He’s probably busy with the rest of the girls.”

“Hmmm…” – Jiyong smiled and brought his hand to his chin, as if in deep thought. “I guess I could, but you have to promise me something.

Eyeing him doubtfully, I tilted my head sideways in a curious manner.

“You’ll leave Gaho alone next time I bring him to the studio.” And he was grinning.

“HE LOVES ME! – I smacked him in the arm again, and pretended to sulk. “I think you better reconsider your condition because I believe it’s terribly unfair, to both Gaho and me!”

“I think my conditions are more than fair” – It was monotone, and Jiyong strode ahead of me. His shoulders shaking in a way that I knew it could only mean he was trying to hold back his laughter.

“FINE! But from now on, you may call me NOONA”  -- I paused, feeling a little oxygen depraved, I in as much air as I could muster and continued, “and when I say MAY I mean you MUST.”

“Don’t I already do, noona?” – He winked and laughed. “But fine, I take it back. Let’s go, I’ll drive you back.” The famous singer-songwriter must have been tired because he shot me a look that I could not quite place. It had a deeper meaning but no matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn’t figure it out.

In all my years under YG Family, I have never considered Jiyong as anything more than a friend. He just never seemed like the type to stick to someone. Over the past few months there had been an indefinite amount of scandals. The number would be normal if applied to a celebrity’s life-time. I believed some could have been true, but I never placed much importance to the matter. Jiyong’s love life was none of my business, and by no means, I repeat: BY NO MEANS, would I get involved in it. Or so I thought.

“Mr. G-dragon! Could I please get your phone number?” – Typical. There was not a day on music program in which he wouldn’t get asked out. It was unbearable…mostly because I never did. Even Minzy gets asked out more than I do.

I sighed and looked in their direction, not expecting much attention.

I was shocked, however, when my eyes met his. Jiyong had been staring at me from where he was standing. He gets asked out by a cute girl and all he does is stare at me?! In an attempt to brush it off, I made a face, only to realize that I had been standing on stage the whole time. The audience laughed, so I shrugged and walked away. This time, avoiding his eyes.
 

 O.K…OK. Park Bom, you need to get a hold of yourself. Jiyong has most definitely NOT been staring at you this whole week. Nope. He has not...

...Who am I kidding? The guy is looking in my direction right now.

Ok, so maybe he has problems. None of my business. You know what Bom, you’re gonna get a grip and get the hell out of here. It’s called the art of avoiding someone. Ninja Bom is outta here!

I took a tentative step towards the door, hoping no one (especially Jiyong) would realize that I was gone. I pictured it. An hour or two would go by before anymore noticed I wasn’t there anymore. By that time, I would be safe at home eating some watermelon. To my despair, Jiyong noticed right away. Considering he was staring at me for like an hour, I should have known. Plan ninja Bom has failed!  Sighing, I looked his way as he approached me. He had a strange look on his face, and was almost jogging towards me.

Maybe he’s been planning to murder me.

“Bom! Where are you going? I thought we were all going out for dinner after rehearsal?”  -- He stood confidently in front of me and as usual, plastered a smirk on his face. Finally! Something normal. “Don’t worry noona, I won’t make fun of you if you eat more than us”. Laughing, he scratched his neck and nervously waited for a reply when it didn’t come on time.

“Um, yeah. I was just thinking that maybe I shouldn’t eat out…you know? Because…I’m on a diet and all.” I shifted my weight to my other leg and crossed my arms in an effort to look indifferent. “So…yeah, you guys just go without me.” I turned my face away from him and looked towards the exit. Never have the words “EXIT” looked so much like paradise. A smile broke on my face.

“Oh. Okay.”

When I turned back, he was already walking back. His walk was slow. His back hunched over, as if he had been rejected for a date. Or fired. You know, because being fired would more than a date and theworddateshouldnevereverbeusedinthesamesentenceasBomandJiyong.

“Anyway!” I mumbled, “Let’s go get food!”

He must’ve heard me because as soon as those words were out of my mouth, he shot me a look of betrayal.

Or maybe he likes me.

 

END CHAPTER 1. 



Author's Comments: 

Hi again! Please let me know if there are any problems with the chapter such as: grammatical errors, or if the chapter is hard to read. I have noticed that once the chapter is published, the paragraphs seem to be a bit too close and a little harder to read. Feedback is also welcome. I must say however, that this story is purely for pleasure, and that I am well aware that my writing style is not the greatest. 

Thank you to whoever reads this. I may update next month!  As for a story image, I feel a bit lazy. I doubt it is absolutely necessary. 
Although I don't particularly ship this couple in real life (I don't really ship ANY couple), it's always fun to play around with fanfics. They are my two favorite members of each group.