“I haven’t figured it out. Why has he been changing so much? Youngjae and I have been friends since we were so small we couldn’t walk, and I used to pinch his cheeks and kiss his face all over when he fell down, I’d hold him so tight he couldn’t breathe!” I smiled, looking in my coffee mug. “We used to be closer than you and Appa.”

                “I know, dear.” My umma nodded, patting my head. “Maybe something’s just been going on with him?”

                “But he won’t even let me peck his nose for good luck anymore.” I pouted, taking a sip of my coffee. “And he swats my hand away when I go to pinch those fluffy cheeks.”

                “Just talk to him about it.” She sighed. “Nothing much else you can do.”

                I went over to his house that night, to do exactly what umma suggested I do. I hardly talked to umma anymore since I got my own apartment, which I had invited Youngjae to stay with me to get out of his parent’s house numerous times. He’d said yes a long time ago, but now he’s refusing.

                I knocked on the door, only to see a short girl looking out the window. She moved and went to open the door, and I immediately got confused. I knew his mother and that was not her.

                “Can I help you?” She flipped her light brown hair over her shoulder, standing with one hand on her hip.

                “Um…yes.” I tried to smile, but her attitude was the worst. “I’m looking for Jae-yah.”

                “JaeJae!” She called in a shrill voice. “Honey!”

                Honey? I scoffed softly.

                He came from the kitchen, furrowing his eyebrows when he saw me. “Hyung?” He asked.

                “Jae, I need to talk to you.” I mumbled, looking at the girl suspiciously.

                “About?” He sighed.

                “About things.” I glared. “I’m your best friend let me in.”

                He nodded and waved for the girl to move aside, letting me in the house. I draped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him into his room and shut the door. “Dae—”

                “Who is she, for starters?” I asked calmly.

                “That’s…” He stopped.

                “That’s?” I asked.

                “My girlfriend.”

                “Oh…” I looked down, not sure how to take in the information. “So that’s why you flinch when I touch you and get mad at me for being affectionate…” I whispered.

                “I know, that’s how you are, but she doesn’t like that.” I looked back up at him as he spoke. He bit his lip and put his hand on my shoulder.

                “But why her over me?” I whined. “You shouldn’t have to change for her.”

                “I like her…” He puffed out his adorable cheeks and I couldn’t help but bring my hand up to pinch them, but then he glared and I put it down. “…I want her to trust me and she doesn’t trust me when you’re doing that kind of stuff…”

                “She thinks you’re cheating on her with…me?” I asked softly and he nodded. “But you’re dating her, why would you cheat with a guy…” I couldn’t help but be a little hurt that he would change for a woman.

                “I know, but…” He sighed. “Please don’t be angry.”

                “But I am angry!” I rose my voice. “I’m angry that things changed, I’m angry that you’re changing for her, and I’m angry that you can find a girl to be with when I’m stuck thinking about you all the damn time!” I clapped a hand over my mouth, feeling the heat rush to my cheeks.

                He pointed at the door and sighed. “I think you should leave…”

                “Jae—”

                “Leave.”

                I nodded slowly, walking out of the room and then out the front door. I nearly ran down the street. I ran so fast that I ended up falling, crashing to the ground and falling in the mud from the rain that fell earlier this morning. I just stayed in the mud, looking up at the sky.

                “You’re an idiot, Jung Daehyun. A big, fat idiot.” I sighed, slapping my muddy hand on my forehead when the tears started to flow.

               I managed to trudge home after a few strangers walked by and threw coins at me as if I was homeless. I was sick of the humiliation so I gave up being depressed and forced myself home. I took a long, long hot bath before flopping on the bed and crying some more.

               You idiot. You weren’t supposed to say that.

               I woke, looking over at my phone to see 4 new voicemails. I sighed, picking up my phone and dialing the voicemail. I heard it go through the prompt as usual, and listened eagerly when it said, ‘1^st unheard message’

               “Dae…oh god, Dae…I…”               

               I heard Youngjae’s voice and I instantly sat up.

               “That was mean of me. Really mean. I’m sorry.”

               ‘End of first message’

               I gulped and prayed the next ones were him as well.

               ‘2^nd unheard message’

               “Hyung. Come over when you get up? I need to talk to you.”

               There was silence again.

               ‘3^rd unheard message’

               “I’m so sorry hyung.” I heard his voice crack and I threw the phone on speaker and got up to get dressed. “Forgive me? I-I…I don’t know why I did that because…because I—”

               I bit my lip and waiting for the last one.

               ‘4^th unheard message’

               “Please come over. I need you.”

               With the last pause, I dashed out of the house. I didn’t stop until I got to his front door and I banged so hard I heard it crack. “Youngjae-yah!” I yelled, hearing absolutely nothing. I began to tear up, pounding against the door. “I’m here!”

               There was more silence and I just started crying hard, sinking to the ground. “Jae!” I cried out, banging on the door.

                I heard his voice in my head “Please come over. I need you.”

                I got up and started slamming my shoulder into the door. I ran back to the road then moved as fast as I could towards the door, slamming my body into it and falling onto the floor. I dashed up to Youngjae’s room and opened the door, seeing headphones in his ears, his body curled up on the bed.

                I threw my keys at him and watched him jump up, taking the headphones off.

                “You !” I yelled. “Answer the door next time! I just broke it—”

                I was interrupted by his arms pulling me into the tightest hug. I could feel his wet lashes against my neck, hear him sniffling softly.

                “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

                It was silent for a few minutes, both of us kind of crying it out.

                After a while, he began to speak softly. “That girl…I don’t need her.”

                “Jae—”

                “Hyung I need you.” He whispered, hands reaching up to hold my face. “Your stupid good luck kisses that always seem to work. You pinching my cheeks and calling me cute. You kissing my bruises when I fall and make them heal faster…” He smiled. “I didn’t know why I didn’t realize it until I saw her kissing that guy, but…”

                “She did what—?!?!”

                “Just kiss me, babo.” He pulled me into the best kiss of my lifetime. Our lips seemed to move in sync, tears flowing from our eyes not from sadness, but from the sheer emotion that was felt.

                He didn’t even have to say it.

                He felt the same.

                And that was all that mattered.

THE END.