a/n: for my faint-hearted friend. <3 HOPE you ENJOY. please give me mayo~

--

It was pouring hard today not like any other day, I was wondering how she’d come home safely…

Then, I remembered the first time we met.

Summer has just began and I took a walk to the park to freshen up myself just like what I do before heading to school and that’s when I saw her, and everything became a blur, it was like seeing like light for the first time, she was dancing there—gracing  people with what she has. I was envious and shy to even come to her the first time I saw her, that I went to the park everyday just to see her dance. Day by day I was growing fonder with just seeing her there, I didn’t even knew her name but it was fine, but I was still hoping that one day she’ll notice me.

It was yet another day at the park and I was still there at the corner watching her like an avid fan whose watching a soccer competition, she was there again practicing like never before and like the world depended on her, but I didn’t know that today was going to be different. Watching her dance and hurt herself, made me feel like there’s nothing that I could do, because I was even too shy to even approach her but my adrenaline rush at the sudden event delivered her to me.

“Are you okay?” I asked as I panted at the rush to save her.

“I think I sprained myself.” She was heaving deeply while sweating profusely.

Her left ankle was obviously sprained as she gripped tightly along her legs to support the rest of the pain she was feeling.

“We need to call for an emergency.” My voice cracked at the worried state.

“No thanks, this will be fine after a couple of hours. Thanks, anyway.” Her face boldly told me that she was enduring the pain really hard.

“Alright, I’ll just try to bind your foot with this towel for the mean time to suppress the pain.” I immediately reached for the white, cotton towel beside her.

“Ugh… By the way what’s your name?” I broke the silence while mustering all my courage to ask for her name.

 “Oh. I’m Yuri, you are?” She asked while I helped her to stand up “uh.  I – I’m Ne– I mean Johnelle, Johnelle Dela Cruz, nice to meet you.” She sent a beaming smile of gratitude and it melted me from the insides.

After that memorable first meeting, I knew there was something—more like a spark.

--

I also remembered a lot of our firsts, of course there would be me dreaming about her. I also recalled how we came to be the bestest of friends. We even confessed to each other! I was so high that day, and I remembered it all.

With the weather like this, I just had to reminisce the time when we were out in the rain, running hand in hand while living the time of our lives. Oh! how I wish to do it again with her.

But these days she’s becoming more and more busy—making me wait for long hours missing our promised dates and such, but I think it’s partly my fault because I was becoming too possessive towards her and I feel like I’m weighing her down because of that.

Our fights nowadays were endless. It seemed like I kept pushing our relationship at its peak. Even those nonsensical reasons, I blame her. And I don’t know what was happening between her and me. I had to end this, I had to fix this—I’m at fault.

--

The doorbell rang at the rush of things. I suddenly found myself back on my feet and away from daydreaming.

The sound, it’s like I’ve waited for it for forever. It had been 4 long hours of waiting trying to figure out how to get things to work out after our recent fight. But I just sat there, with a blank mind not being able to cope with the situation.

Yuri was finally back, and it was up me if I’m able to fix this dilemma.

It has been 10 minutes, and my feet are unconsciously betraying me. I tried to stand up, but there was an anonymous restriction. ‘Why?’ I asked myself.

Again, a familiar sound bugged me from across the room. The door was opening in a slight manner, and light footsteps entered simultaneously with the creaking sound. It was undeniably her. She was still beautiful as ever, her tanned complexion makes her radiant yet gentle; she’s as lovely as the first time we’ve met.

“Yuri-unnie. How’s work?...” But she was silent. You could only hear the raindrops from outside the house.

“...Unnie? I know you’re still mad at me. I’m sorry alright… I shouldn’t have hanged up on you last night.” But then she started walking past across the bedroom towards me.

“I’m sorry…” She was standing sternly, but then reached out to me as she hugged me fervently.

I forcefully stood from my upright position to embrace her back. It was that kind of hug where one feels warmth and security, more than ever, I felt like it was the perfect fit at that time.

“Uh—unnie? Why? What happened?” I was stammering at the thought. But my hands on her waist signified that I was trembling for no apparent reason.

A sudden sensation came about. That kind of sensation that brought shivers to my spine. Her lips were already pressed against mine. It was soft, moist yet kissable. I was shocked at first with this unexpected gesture, but I gave in anyway. The kiss was extraordinary, not because we were making out hotly and irrefutably, but because it was sweet and caressing.

When she backed away from the kiss, she started to speak.

“I’m sorry Nene, but I came here to tell that I can’t do this anymore. I couldn’t do tell it in person but I’ve already made up my mind. I didn’t want this to happen… but…” Her voice was apparently decreasing.

My eyes were just darted along her face. I could only see moving, but I perceive no sound. Maybe I turned deaf, maybe my ears automatically shut down, or maybe I simply didn’t want hear anything that she has to say.

Then I kept mumbling nonsense. Tears soon made their way outside. I was trying to get a hold of myself, but I cried and cried.

I was seemingly deaf at around that time. It seemed that the ship we tried to perfect was now crumbling down to pieces. ‘Was I too much?’ ‘Did I not deserve her to not stay with me?’, these questions started to haunt me.

Has it ended?

Has our relationship ended?

--

When I came back to my senses, I realized that I had done nothing to suppress her from going. I was a fool, yes—more like an idiot, perhaps.

Then again, I also realized that I was holding a certain envelope. It was probably given to me by Yuri before she left. I immediately opened it and dug out the piece of paper that was inside. The letter was beautifully written in light blue texts, and it read:

To my dear Nene,

I’m so sorry that we became like this. I love you so much that I can’t tell this to you personally—so I’ve written everything on this piece of paper.

I’m not regretting anything in our relationship. It was the best feeling to be loved by you. I don’t care if we fight a lot, because in the end we know for a fact that we’ll stay together, and that you were mine and I was yours.

I’m leaving you not because I’m not in love with you anymore. I’m leaving tomorrow for South Korea. My mom got into a car accident last week; she’s in a state of coma and her condition is critical. She’s the only family I’ve got now. You know now that she’s against our relationship, and it hurts me a lot.

Call me what you want, call me a coward or a selfish person if you want. But she really needs me now. I don’t want to live in regret if something worse happens to her.

I love you so much, Nene. Please, don’t ever forget that. I’m so sorry, babe.

You can hate me all you want, but please remember that you’re everything to me.

I don’t want to see you hurt because of me. Please let me go.

I don’t want to make sacrifices at the cost of everything.

Sorry is not enough, but it is the only thing that I can do, babe.

-- Yuri

I started to break down again. For the last time, she did not regret our relationship—that she loved me deeply. But right now, the excruciating pain in my heart gradually increased. I felt like passing out.

That night, all I did was to lie down on ‘our’ bed, cried all my tears out and prayed that tomorrow; this pain will go away, because I wanted to understand what happened, and because I wanted to understand how it came to be. I wanted myself to be selfless and accept the fact that it was not our time yet, and probably I need to accept that no matter how perfect our love is, we needed this.

-End-

a/n; I'm so sorry that you had gone through this without any warning HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!... But I'm sure when you two actually meet in person it will be the opposite of this. LOL!!! we love you!!! (you said you wanted angst, so here... MEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!) don't take this to heart.