What Am I Without You?

Minseok lies alone in his bed, listening to old cheesy love songs and eating chocolate while crying his heart out like a teenage school girl. The phone is positioned right next to him but he doesn't dare to use it.

Not in this stage.

Or more like never ever again.

Instead, he remembers all the beautiful moments he has had with his maybe-ex-boyfriend. Minseok doesn't know because they haven't talked to each other after their argument. But he is scared of the breakup that will follow, and he is sure that Jongdae will demand just that.

And Minseok is desperately sorry as this is the opposite of what he had ever wanted.

“I hate it, Jongdae! You are just so – so annoying! Everyday you come and pull some stupid as if you were a little child! I don't want that anymore!”

Minseok never meant to say those words. He wants to tell Jongdae that he just had a bad day back then and that the whole scolding was so pointless and unfair. Because eventhough Jongdae's little pranks might be indeed annoying sometimes, they still are harmless and Minseok loves him anyway. It's a part of Jongdae, and he wouldn't want it any other way.

Looking back, Minseok must even admit that it has always been Jongdae who showed that he truly cared for their relationship.

Always waking him up every morning with a sweet kiss and coffee.

Buying him pralines instead of flowers because he knows Minseok hates that.

Spending his time with him even when he is tired due to work.

It makes Minseok cry even more.

Jongdae has always treated him so well.

But the most beautiful memories are those of the many spontaneous moments they have had.

Like that one time when Minseok was ill and Jongdae came over with that one movie he loved so much but had missed to buy.

Or that one holiday when they just entered the next plane and ended up in Moscow, not knowing Russian and just very little English.

There are so many more stupid things they've done that make their relationship unique and memorable and wonderful.

Minseok doesn't want to loose that.

“I'm tired of that. I'm tired of everything!”

That is so, so wrong. Jongdae should know that this is obviously a lie.

How could Minseok ever grow tired of his beloved boyfriend?

But Minseok doesn't blame him as the whole thing is only his fault. So he just sits here and wishes for himself to die. Maybe he should go and talk to someone. But on the other side, he doesn't feel like that...

Not today.

Tomorrow, Minseok decides as he allows himself to fall asleep. And it is only the next day when he finally accepts that he is the one who has to dissolve the problem. So he eventually stands up, feeling a bit dizzy, and takes a shower. Breakfast is no option because Minseok isn't hungry and it's afternoon anyway.

As it's the first day of the weekend, Minseok chooses to directly phone Jongdae. With shaky hands and a much too high heartbeat, he dials his boyfriend's number and waits.

Beeeeeeeeeeep

Beeeeeeeeeeep

Beeeeeeeeeeep

He almost wants to end the call when he hears the familiar voice.

“Hello?”

The first few seconds, Minseok isn't abled to say anything.

Again, Jongdae speaks: “Hello?” And with a suspiciously shaking voice, Minseok answers: “H-Hey, it's Minseok. Could we... meet up and talk?” He chokes up on his own words as his eyes grow teary. “Stay, I'll be there in a few minutes.”

Beeeeeeeeeeep

This is what Minseok loves Jongdae for.

It really doesn't take long, maybe ten minutes or even less. Minseok just tidies his apartment up a bit. Then, the door bell rings and he immediately opens the door, his face still looking puffy and red from crying. But it's too late now to think about stuff like that.

Jongdae doesn't even bother to enter.

He just hugs Minseok without words, holds him tight, and Minseok can't help but cling to him and cry onto his shoulder.

They stay like this for minutes, hours, whatever, Minseok doesn't care.

The only important thing right now is Jongdae's soothing scent and the warmth of his body; Minseok couldn't ask for more and wouldn't mind staying like this forever, close to the person he loves.

But he knows that he still mustn't forget the reason for their meeting.

So he just starts talking.

“Jongdae, I-I'm really sorry. I didn't meant all that. It was wrong of me to yell at you, and I was just in a bad mood that day and I know that doesn't justify anything but I want you to know that I still love you and -”

Minseok's speech is interrupted by Jongdae's lips who pull him into a heart melting kiss that is full of pure emotion and so much love. Minseok wants to cry again but know out of joy.

“Thank you for apologizing”, Jongdae replies with a warm smile, “but don't think that I forgive you that easily!”

The look in his eyes says otherwise.

They end up spending the whole day together, closer and more in love than ever .

And the neighbors sure won't get any sleep tonight.

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Spontaneous oneshooot~ :D

Hope you like it anyway! ^^

*gives you Xiuchen cupcakes*