[in one night at Tokyo]

At the age of 25, I knew.. that I have lived my life without having any regrets. All I know is that.. I will long to see her truly beautiful eyes again.

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My name is Nishikido Ryo.

What do you need to know more about me? this year, Im gonna turn to 26. I worked as a bartender in a bar at Ginza. One of the most famous district in Tokyo. Ah, I shouldn’t have told you that, right? you already know that fact.

There’s not much in my life that you might wanna hear.

I never knew my mother since she passed away when she gave birth of me. My father? he died in a car accident when I was 9.

So it means now the only story left is Erika.

She’s my little sister.

4 years younger than me, now she still in college. Yeah, I worked really hard to pay her tuition and also just to make our life better.

Working as a bartender, allows me to know so much people. With a different status, different personality, different in so many ways. I like to observe them, because you can learn so many things from them. You can laugh when you find them doing ridiculous thing. You can promise yourself not to do the same thing as they did when you knew they messed up things.

It’s not that I want to be a bartender forever, but since I didn’t have so many skills, this is the only easy job I can do for a quite big money.

Horikita Maki-chan, the number one hostess from a host club next door once clung to me and say, ‘’you know, Ryo-chan, you’ll definitely beat Oguri-kun and be the number one host if you work at my place.’’

Well, thanks but no thanks, I rather be a lonely bartender, who worked only with bottles –and another bartender guys-, than I have myself got touch or by women I don’t even know.

Talking about women, girlfriend? No. I don’t have one. I did have once, but not now. I sleep at day and work at night, what kind of girl who would have a boyfriend like me? a girl like Maki? She’s gorgeous, of course, just a blind AND stupid guy who said that she’s not beautiful, but im not interested to share my woman to others. So hostess? I’ll pass.

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‘’Tadaima (im home).’’ I said slowly.

‘’Okaeri (welcome home)!’’ turns out that my sister still awake. She gets up and smiles as she saw me entering our small flat.

‘’cant sleep?’’ I asked as I put my bag down. Now it’s 4 o’clock in the morning.

She nodded.

‘’ne, nii-chan,’’ she called me.

‘’hm?’’ I turned around as I changed my shirt.

‘’I want to work.’’

I blinked a several times.

‘’work?’’ I asked, ‘’what did you just say? You are working at that shop.’’

She shook her head, ‘’I mean I want to add my part-time job.’’

‘’but you still have your classes.’’

‘’that’s why.. I want to work at night, as a waitress maybe. Or cleaning the plates. Ah! maybe I can be waitress in your working place!’’

I hanged my jaw.

‘’what?!’’ I raised my tone. ‘’nooo! No. there’s no way I allow you to.’’

‘’why?’’ she looked at me with her puppy eyes.

‘’why? Hey, besides, why suddenly you feel that you need to get a job? Did you need some money? I thought I already give your tuition money.’’

She sat down in the tatami.

‘’yes, that’s why I know now you almost didn’t have any money for yourself.’’ She said as she held something in her hand.

I sighed. ‘’im not complaining.’’ I said.

‘’I know.’’ she said, ‘’but to see this and knowing that you’re not complaining, it makes me more sad.’’

She shows me my coat. I only have two winter coat, and both of them it’s old. But I never thought it was really important since the coat was used outside and it’s supposed to protect us from rain and cold, so.. it will ruin anyway. At least I still feel warm when I used it.

Although I have to admit, like I told you, I got a quite big money from being a bartender, but college tuition is really high too. Yeah, to be honest I didn’t have much money right now.

‘’so.. can I? can I?’’ she keep asking me.

‘’no.’’ I walked to my room. Well, it’s not a room since there’s no door.

‘’come on..’’ she pulled my shirt as she followed me like a little kid, ‘’nii..’’

I ignored her as then I lie in my bed and buried myself in the blanket. She’s still waiting for my answer as she sat beside the mattress.

Then I opened the blanket and say, ‘’look.. you didn’t know what happen in Tokyo at night.’’

She rolled her eyes, ‘’I’ve been on night club too! im 21, remember?’’

‘’yes, but to hang around and to working there all night long, it’s two different things, Erika.’’ I said. ‘’please.. just for now, listen to me. I never allow you to work as anything anywhere after 8 PM sharp!’’

‘’mooooou (geez)!’’

‘’whatever! Now im tired, I want to sleep. You should do too.’’

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[a couple weeks later]

As I told you before, there’s nothing much in my story that I can tell you.

But I can show you what scenery that I always saw from where I stand when I was working.

There’s a bunch of middle-age men that’s laughing, also with a young lady –sometimes even younger than Erika- sat between all of them, try to cheering the crowd, or just embrace to share warmth with their slender arms.

There’s a woman, sitting in the bar alone. Looking really as miserable like tomorrow the world is gonna end. No one but God and herself know what’s bothering her mind. Maybe love, maybe work. She didn’t care to share a word. Just keep knocking her pretty nails to her glass.

Actually, there’s 3 different people who’s sitting alone in the bar. One, they’re similar to that woman. Two, they never stop asking me to add their drinks while they’re also didn’t stop rambling about many thing as the alcohol made them did that. And 3, they even share their problems with me.

Just like one who came to the bar right now.

I knew her. She’s the queen around here. Even Maki-chan called her that. Masami is the famous hostess around Ginza. She works in the biggest club here. No one ever knew her last name, and maybe Masami even not her real name.

‘’boring again, huh?’’ I asked her. ‘’usual drink?’’

‘’just give me water.’’ She smiled.

‘’here you go.’’ I gave her a glass of water.

Actually, aside from she’s working as a hostess in another place, she’s a regular here. Even before I work here. Many people talked that she has a memories with this place. Some of them said that once she got linked with a bartender, but some of them said that she’s actually the owner’s long lost daughter.

Well, rumor went crazy around here, but I never give a damn about it.

‘’how’s tonight?’’ she looked around.

‘’not much.. just as usual.’’ I pointed around. ‘’how about yourself?’’

It’s not that I like her, but from many hostess I knew around Ginza, Masami is one of the small amount of them who doesn’t throw themselves to any man. I respected her for that. Since the day we met, she never tried to seduce me, or anything. It’s a good thing since that’s the last thing I need.

We just share our sorrow in silence, we’re just become friends without trying being one as I know her pain is bigger than I am, to live a life like that.

She shrugged, ‘’I.. meet a really nice guy yesterday.’’

I smiled, ‘’really? Wow. It’s kinda rare to find here, huh?’’

‘’yeah.’’ She smiled too.

‘’what about him?’’

‘’unfortunately, I didn’t know who he is.’’

‘’ha?’’ I frowned.

Then Masami just said that she saw a new hostess got bothered by a customer, and then suddenly a guy –who also seems like a customer- came and helped the poor young lady.

‘’’well, I take my words back. It’s not that rare to find a guy like that, actually it’s kinda normal, isnt it?’’

‘’At first, I thought so, but when I heard from the new hostess that the guy who helped her actually walked her home and even waited until she safely walked inside the house, I kinda feel.. wow, a guy who went into my place and can act that way..’’ she hang her sentence, and then I completes it,

‘’yeah.. it does weird.’’

I said to her, ‘’you can just waiting for him to come again, right? and no one ever say no to the famous Masami.’’

She laughs, ‘’funny.’’

Then she continues, ‘’but I actually worried if that guy walks again to my place and try to search for the new hostess..’’

‘’why is that?’’

‘’because it means he’s try to mess around with Tomohisa.’’

Yamaa Tomohisa. He’s the son of Masami’s boss. The owner of that big club. Who rumored –and 80% true- to be a yakuza (Japan’s mafia) family.

‘’ah naruhodo (I see).. the new girl got the prince’s heart.’’

‘’yes, since the first time he lay his eye on her.’’

‘’so.. you’re not jealous?’’ I asked.

Masami lifted her pretty head to see me, ‘’me?’’ she laughs, ‘’you’re really damn funny!’’

As she fixed her hair she said, ‘’I cant even counts how many nights a spend with him. I never care. And he’s just like that too.’’

I shrugged.

See? Sometimes living in this kind of world can make you go.. crazy. I once a bad boy myself, but then I realized, I got a sister at home. I only have her and she only had me. If im trying to messed my life around, it means I also ruin her life. So I try to throw away all the temp and bad thing I’ve done, then I live a good life. Well, although I worked here.

‘’that girl.. she didn’t even look like she’s belong here either.’’ Masami said.

‘’really?’’ I asked as I took empty glasses. I wondered why she’s really interesting on this new girl.

‘’yeah, because she looks vulnerable and sweet. Not to mention she’s a college girl.’’ Masami said. ‘’well, I know many of them who also a hostess, but this girl is different. Maybe that’s why Tomo is so curious about her.’’

Wait.

Ah, no. there’s a thousand of college girls. Ryo, She’s not your-

‘’hey.. wait. I thought there’s something fishy here.’’ suddenly she said to me.

Yeah, I kinda agree with you. I want to say that but I don’t.

‘’that night.. when I read all the new girls’ profile.. I read that her name is Takahashi, but I heard Tomohisa said one of his guy told him that her real name was.. oh my God.. it couldn’t be, right?’’

I frowned. ‘’what is it?’’

‘’you.. you couldn’t possibly have a younger sister name Nishikido Erika, right? cute, long curly hair, as skinny as ever?’’

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[Red Rose club, Ginza]

This is where Masami work. The atmosphere was so different in here than the bar. It’s more.. intimate. Mysterious. dangerous.

I walked as I feel my blood was boiled.

She whispered at me before we walked inside the club from the back door earlier, ‘’if someone ask, just told them that you’re my customer’s chauffeur, you are going to pick me up.’’

‘’okay.’’ I nodded.

‘’im sorry, but that’s the only way you can come in safely.’’ She said, ‘’beside, the outfit is matching.’’ As a bartender, I wore a long sleeves white shirt.

I didn’t comment.

So then we walked inside. As suddenly, ‘’Masami-chan!’’

She turned around gracefully. ‘’yes?’’

‘’hisashiburi (long time no see).’’ A tall guy came to her.

‘’ah, Mocomichi-kun.. hisashiburi.’’ She kissed his cheek. ‘’im sorry, but I got to go.’’

‘’right now?’’ he asked.

‘’yes. Look, the chauffeur who’s ready to pick me up is here.’’ she pointed at me as I just looked down to the floor.

‘’aw, too bad.’’

‘’yes.. why cant you come more often? You know that the princes always here.’’

I chuckled for a bit. So.. this tall guy is their friends, too, huh?

The guy answered, ‘’yeah, I just met them. Tomo seems really curious about that little girl, right?’’

I know that he talked about Erika.

Aside from Tomohisa, there’s another kids of the business tycoon in this area. At least, they all men. I don’t know how crazy the world might be if their heir is actually women. I cant helped but pity women who was born in this Goddamn dark underground world.

The princes, contains Yamaa Tomohisa, Tegoshi Yuya and Kamenashi Kazuya. The 3 of them are the guys at my age who walked around this place like a little kings since their fathers are the owners. And no one try to mess up with them.

But I have no other choice.

I have to save my sister, I have to take my Erika to walk out from this dark life. Because she’s not belong here. At first I thought if im the only one who swam on this dark ocean, it wouldn’t affected her. But I was wrong, because now she even drown deeper than I do.

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[still in the Red Rose club]

‘’there she is!’’ Masami pointed at one direction. I saw her, my little sister.

She looked.. so pretty even in that ugly purple dress. Beside her, there’s Tomohisa, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. But I can see that Yuya also looking at her from behind with a smirk that I swear made me want to ripe his boyish face up.

‘’yes.. that’s Erika.’’ I said.’’so what we gonna do now?’’

‘’I try to pull her out from there, okay?’’ Masami said as she gets up.

‘’becareful.’’ I automatically said it.

She just smiled and then she walked to the VIP lounge.

Not long after that, Masami went out with Tomohisa. They seems talking seriously, as in about a minute later, Erika does appear.

Tomohisa kissed Masami’s cheek and then he walked inside the room again after 2 others hostess walked in.

Masami pulled Erika’s hand and walk to where im hiding right now.

‘’nii-chan?!’’ Erika looked really surprised and kinda angry too. ‘’why-‘’ then she turned to Masami.

‘’don’t.’’ I said to her. ‘’Masami here she’s just trying to help. You have to thank her.’’

She didn’t say anything, as I still wants to talk to her, Masami reminded us.

‘’hey.. we should get out of here. I said to Tomo that I will take her to my customer too.’’

‘’okay then, we’re out.’’ I said.

As then we walked out and reach the next block, Masami said, ‘’I better leave you two.’’

‘’thanks again.’’ I said to her.

‘’you’re welcome.’’ She said.

After she’s gone, I just sighed.

‘’nii-chan..’’ Erika called me but I didn’t turn around. We just kept walking.

She tried again, ‘’Ryo-nii..’’ as she pulled the back of my shirt.

‘’what?!’’ I turned around as she looked startled. Because I rarely raise my tone to her. Yeah, maybe I look ignorance to you, but actually, I rarely get angry.

‘’gomen ne (sorry).’’ she said.

‘’didn’t I tell you to stay away from this.. from the night life?’’

‘’gomen.’’ She said again.

‘’and why, God, why.. from all the club here in Ginza, you choose to be in that cursed place? Don’t you know who you messed with? That guys..’’

Erika seems wants to cry as she said, ‘’im sorry.. because.. I didn’t want to be your burden.’’

‘’what?’’ I frowned. ‘’why on earth you could think about that? you’re my sister, there’s no way you’re a bur-‘’ then I stopped.

I turned around and walk, ‘’whatever.’’

From the sounds of her high heels, I know that she’s following me. So then after a couple steps, I stop.

‘’you walked first. I’ll watch you from behind.’’ I said as I want her to walked in front of me, just for her safety.

Then she shook her head, ‘’why don’t we walk together?’’

She grab my hand and say, ‘’we used to be like this when we still a little kid, remember?’’

I sighed, ‘’yeah.. I remember.’’ As then we walked hand in hand.

I kept her away from this dark world, because she didn’t belong here. Although... she was born in this underground life as her mother.. was a night butterfly. Unfortunately, her status wasn’t that good, not like Maki-chan, or Masami.

No. The woman isnt my mother.

And Erika’s father also isnt mine. Actually, I never know who he is.

My mother died when she gave birth. Me.

Yes. Erika and I are not siblings.

We share a truly different blood. Even different names.

My dad fell in love with her mother when I was 7. Erika was 3. That’s why she didn’t know about anything. All that she knows that im the only family she got left.

And I.. was thinking quite the same. Almost the same.

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[2 weeks later]

After my father died, Erika’s mother left us. We were taking care by a distant relatives, but as I reach highschool age, I started to work.

I cared about Erika as she’s the only person I have to make my life less lonely. And she’s the only reason that made me work really hard. She’s my responsibility. She’s depending on me. that’s how I grew up.

So when things get tough as Masami informed me that Tomohisa was anxious about losing his new toy, I said to Erika, that we should ran from here..

I know, as a man, maybe I should face Tomohisa alone and say to him to just get the hell out from my sister’s life. But it’s not a wise decision, because I can be endangered Erika, too. I swallowed my pride as a big brother, as a man, just for her sake.

Although suddenly I remember something, as then I called Masami.

‘’hey, do you know, who’s the guy who helped my little sister? The nice guy.’’

‘’ah, yes. His name is Hiraoka Yuuta.’’ She said from the other side, ‘’nande (why)?’’

‘’ne.. Masami-chan, can you do me a favor before I leave?’’

‘’sure.’’

‘’and Masami-chan?’’

‘’yes?’’

‘’thank you. And please becareful.’’

Masami herself, will got so much trouble with Tomohisa if he found out that she’s behind all of this. May God protect her from that guy. She just trying to help me and Erika, she shouldn’t be suffered because of that.

After Masami settled things as I ask her to, Erika and I moved to another area. I also have a new job, just as a mechanic in a small workshop under our small flat, but it’s just temporary.

But after live there for a while, looks like we still have some trouble.

I don’t know where they find us, but Tomohisa’s guy caught me. They said I snatched away Erika from their boss.

On the same time, Erika came home.

‘’nii-chan?!’’ she shrieked. I got punched. I punched them back, but only 2 fell down. There’s still 3 others.

‘’yamete (stop it)!’’ she shouted as she ran to me.

‘’daijoubu (im fine).’’ I said, ‘’just don’t be too close. Stay back.’’

I try to protect her as I grab a pipe and I try to swing around to make them go. But suddenly, Erika shouted, ''look out!''

I got hit from behind. I fell to the ground. Then I got kicked in the stomach many times. My legs also got hit a several times.

‘’that’s what you got when you’re trying to mess around with Yamaa-san.’’ One of them said it.

Tomohisa. I didn’t care who he is. I just know that I should protect Erika from bastards like him.

‘’what happen in here?!’’ suddenly the workshop’s owner came out with his son.

Erika begging for help, ‘’Ji-chan, help! Nii-chan is bleeding!’’

After that, everything seems blur.

And when I woke up, all I know is that Erika sat beside me, with the workshop’s owner, and a guy that I didn’t know.

Erika cant stop crying even after I open my eyes.

‘’hey.. don’t worry. im okay.’’

‘’you broke your ribs! What’s fine about that?!’’ she said.

I just patted her head and then the anonymous guy talked.

‘’Nishikido-san? Im Hiraoka Yuuta.’’

Ah.. the hero.

‘’so.. Masami.. calls you?’’

‘’yes.’’ He nodded politely. ‘’and now I totally aware with the situation.’’

I try to smile for a bit as Erika seems confused.

I asked Hiraoka, ‘’so.. you’re just like what I thought, right?’’

He nodded once again.

Then I turned to see Erika, ‘’ne.. don’t you know that Hiraoka is a detective? A high status one.’’

‘’eh?’’ she said.

Ouch. My body feel like it’s gonna torn apart. So I didn’t move, I just smile again.

‘’yes, from the story about he’s helping you, I knew, he’s someone.’’ I explained to her. ‘’so.. from now, at least you will be more safe with he’s on your side.’’

‘’what?’’ Erika seems upset.

As they read the atmosphere, the workshop’s owner, and also Hiraoka-san, they leave the room.

‘’ne.. Erika.’’ I said.

She still sobbing.

‘’you know I always protect you, but now.. you also have to be aware.’’

‘’im sorry.. im sorry to make everything like this.’’

‘’maybe for now, I will ask you to take a break on your college. Until we feel it’s safe. Don’t worry, Hiraoka will keep an eye on you, too.’’

‘’I don’t need him. Nii-chan, I already have you!’’

‘’but look at me right now. Turns out im a failure when it comes to fighting..’’ I try to joked.

She shook her head as she hugged me and cry without saying anything.

In the middle of the night, I awake as I feel my body is aching everywhere. I saw Erika sleep in the floor as her head is leaning to the mattress.

I caressed her hair.

Erika.

Little Erika always ran to me since the first day we met. And she crying really hard when she realized her own mother left us on that night, she cried and cried as then she fell asleep in my arms.

I watched her grown up. I never thought her as a burden. But to be honest, deep down I feel that to keep this secret about the truth that we’re not related by blood, actually is killing me inside.

I bent down to kissed the top of her head although my ribs are aching and the pain stung me really hard.

That’s how I love her. I always do although it’s making me suffered.

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[on one night]

Now my ribs are getting better. But my legs, the right legs, I think there’s something wrong about it. Maybe.. it couldn’t be as good as normal, but I just keep it for myself. I don’t want Erika to find out.

Erika, where is she?

Now it’s 9 o’clock and she still havent back home.

Crippled, I try to walked very slow as I grab my jacket. Then I wait for her outside. It’s the very first time I walked out from the house again.

Then not long after that, I saw her. Walking alone.

As she saw me, she grinned happily as ever.

‘’Ryo nii! You can walk!’’ she shouted as she ran.

‘’baka (stupid)! Of course I am!’’ I shouted back.

She ran towards me, and somehow, it’s like I saw my past come flashing in front of my eyes. She always did that. Pulling my shirt around. Followed me as she wants to play with me. Crying on my shoulder everytime she felt broken hearted with her puppy loves. Her center of the world was me. As mine is always her.

Suddenly, I saw a bright light that blinded my eye from behind her. And just a half of second after that, I knew what it is.

‘’Erika!!!!’’ I shouted so loud and pointed as then she turned around to see what’s coming to her.

‘’no!!!!’’

There’s a screech sounds and then it’s a dead silence.

Although there’s a sobbing and city sounds faintly heard. On that snowy street, there’s only me and my sister.

I told her not to go anywhere.

I didn’t want any help as I know.. I didn’t really need that. It wont help much either.

‘’Ryo-nii..’’ she said.

‘’just stay here. For a while.’’ I begged her as I cough.

Blood.

I looked up and see two most beautiful things I ever seen.

The night sky of Tokyo that usually have no star in it.. suddenly there’s one and really bright. And then I saw her. Erika looked down at me as my head is resting at her lap.

Once again, she cried. Her innocent eyes were filled with tears, that even fell down at my cheek.

‘’Ryo-nii!! You need to be helped!’’ she shrieked.

‘’no.. im fine.’’ I said as I blinked for a several times.

‘’stupid car!!’’ Erika swore as she seems so mad at the car that ran and not being responsible. But what the hell. I didn’t care. All I can think is that.. how Erika might survive when im not there.

As then I said, ‘’ah.. thank God now there’s Hiraoka.’’

‘’eh?’’

‘’he can… look after you when.. im not around.’’

‘’Nii-chan! what are you talking about?! You will always be around! You’re not gonna leave me, are you?!’’

I pushed myself to smile, ‘’I don’t want to leave.. but.. I..’’

‘’Nii-chan!!! niichan!!’’ she shook my shoulder.

Every scene in my life is like a movie, I can see now in front of me. Hey. People always said that you can see the time of your life when it’s time for you to go, well.. turns out that it’s true.

But as it’s transparent, I still can see her quite clear.

She’s crying like I never seen before.

Then I said to her, ‘’ne.. I.. never felt so..rry.. about.. anything. But.. im sor..ry, Eri..ka, I nev..er tell.. you.. the truth.’’

God. I still have so many things that I want to tell her. But..

Erika now shouting hysterical as ever.

‘’I..’’ is all that I can say before then I just smile as my eyes closed without I want to.

I love you. That’s all I want to say to you, Erika.

At the age of 25, I knew.. that I have lived my life without having any regrets. All I know is that.. I will long to see her truly beautiful eyes again. As it’s the last thing I saw.

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I walked alone as misery now with me.

Yesterday, the only person I ever loved, the only family I got.. Ryo-nii is gone. I still cant believe that.

I cant stop blaming myself for his death.

He saved me from being hit by a car.

No. I know it’s not only because of that. It’s started when I suddenly wanted to work although he already said no.

And after that, everything began to be worst and worst as ever.

Because of me.. he have to suffered so much.

If you ask me, why suddenly I want to work by myself.. it’s because I don’t want to be his burden. I know.. he always said to me that im not a burden. But still..

Because I know his already have a big burden on his shoulder. To keep that secret from me.

The truth is.. I know about we’re not related. I don’t know when I realized it, but.. I just know it.

I just thought that.. maybe it’s better like this. With us being brother and sister. Although it’s start to killing me.

I.. start to have this weird feeling as I kept worry about him coming home so late. I cant help myself being mad when I thought about those filthy women clung their arms on Ryo-nii. I just want to tell him to stay with me from day until night. I just want to keep him only for myself.

But I cant.

I know that he loves me just like his own little sister. That’s why I really feel blessed as I also feel so sad in the same time.

My own mother left me. But that hands of Nii-chan always wrapped me with its warmth since that woman stepped out from my life.

He kept me alive since then.

Even if it means.. he have to pay with his own life.

See.. now im crying again.

What should I do? I don’t want to live like a living dead.

I have no one left.

My mom? God knows how much I love her as she gave me life, but also how much I hate her to bring me into this life and abandon me after that.

Hiraoka Yuuta? The guy that once save me and Ryo-nii called as a hero.

Don’t try to make me laugh.

He’s just helped me once when I got troubled with that arrogant Tomohisa, the evil that took Ryo-nii from me. And helped me once doesn’t mean he’s a hero.

Ryo-nii.. he’s my hero.

And he always will be.

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[in one night in Tokyo]

So.. this is how it feels when you’re dying.

I still can hear people who saves me talking.

No.. I don’t need to be help.

There’s only one who can help me right now. That’s why.. just leave me alone, because I will see him right now.

As I felt difficult to breath, I smiled.

Then all I can see is white. My eyes blinded with a bright white light. And it’s much brighter than I saw the other night.

One by one, I saw many people with white suits. They all are looking at me as they gave out their hand.

But I didn’t try to reach out as then I saw one of them who I really knew well.

He’s coming to me as he opens his arm.

Then I ran to him as I always do.

****************************************************************************