Goodbye My Lover
WanderlustThe early sunrays Mei’s cheeks tenderly, waking her up with the warmth it sent down. She fluttered her eyelids a few times, but didn’t open her eyes fully yet. Instead, she savored the warmth which enveloped her body and kept her comfortable, bathing in that pleasant feeling. It was when Mei finally opened her eyes that she saw it wasn’t the sun only which caused her to feel this way.
Luhan had been holding her like this throughout the whole night and even now, he hadn’t let her go. She couldn’t say when it had happened, but somehow during their sleep, they must have moved closer and turned around to lie face to face. Her head was placed on his upper arm as a pillow, her body turned aside to lean against his. His free arm was wrapped around her waist, keeping her in the lying position with his grip.
After an evening full of tears, she had really found the soothing comfort for a pleasant sleep in his arms.
Mei shifted her head and looked up to the sleeping Luhan. He was so peaceful and calm in his sleep; his messy blonde hair framing his angelic face sweetly, his slightly opened lips giving away no sign of any haunting feeling but pure contentment and his lashes not batting a single time to the sunrays dazzling them. Luhan was sleeping the soothing sleep he needed after everything he went through and Mei wished for this to last long before reality would catch up with them again.
They should savor their last moments together because these moments would never return. And so Mei moved a little closer to him, snuggled up to him a little more and let him instinctively hold her a little tighter.
“One day you’ll be waking up next to the man who loves you as much as you love him.”
Mei froze when she realized that ‘one day’ was today. And her heart stopped for a moment when she confessed to herself that mornings like these were the mornings she wanted to experience day for day from now on. Instinctively, she grabbed his shirt as if she could hold onto him and this moment forever.
Mei then felt Luhan’s grip tighten around her waist and she was suddenly shifted so close to him that there was no gap between them anymore, her body pressed against his, their legs entangled. Her head rolled in the crook of his neck, her lips accidentally touching the sensitive skin as she inhaled the sweet scent of the shower gel he had used. Unwanted, her heart started to pound a little faster and when he whispered into her ear, it almost jumped out of her chest. She didn’t know he had been awake the whole time.
“It’s still early. Sleep a little longer.”
Like Mei, Luhan didn’t want everything to end yet and savor the morning as long as he could. So when they slept in again, together, arm in arm, closer than ever before, they could delay their stolen moment just for a little longer.
Mei was standing in front of the mirror and examined her reflection insecurely. She took the comb and brushed over her hair again so that it was neatly falling down her shoulders. Pulling the strands together, she tied her hair to proper ponytail and arranged her bangs to try hiding the scar. Then, she shifted her sight to her reflection again. But regardless of how many times she rearranged the strands of her fringe, the wound couldn’t be hidden properly, and when it was healed, it would still be there anyway. Mei felt insecure about her looks but also unsure about Ren’s reaction.
Apart from that, she also noticed something else. In the mirror, she didn’t see the girl from the past weeks anymore. There were no anticipating sparkles in her eyes, no snobbish hair flips and no slightly flushed cheeks. Although her change wasn’t displayed in her looks mainly, she still saw it. And Luhan saw it too.
“You look beautiful,” he told her when he got out of the bathroom, fully dressed, but his hair still wet from the shower.
This time, Mei accepted his compliment with a smile, because it was the last one she would receive from him and because Luhan was the one and only to ever say this to her and truly mean it – with and without scar.
He approached her and reached out his hand to touch her temple, sending a warm wave down her spine. Fondly, he brushed over the wound which was still fixed with two tapes and with a relieved sigh he could perceive that the injured spot had gotten much better and was relatively fast in its healing process.
“It should be all healed soon,” Luhan assured her because he had seen her insecure look as she was examining herself in the mirror. He knew how the flaw (which wasn’t a flaw in his eyes at all) gave Mei a lack in her self-confidence and he couldn’t do anything other than to truthfully tell her that she looked beautiful. Every day. And he hoped Ren would do the same.
Taking a few steps backwards, he positioned himself behind Mei which surprised her at first, but when she felt his fingertips on her neck, she suddenly knew what he was up to. With a swift movement, Luhan had removed the necklace he had given to her in Shanghai. (Mei didn’t even notice that she was still wearing it.)
“You don’t want to wear this when you meet him, right?” Luhan asked with a soft smile, but Mei knew what he really meant with this.
They needed to conceal and remove every proof that their love had ever happened.
“Do you… want to keep it?” Luhan asked carefully.
Mei looked at the jewelry lying in Luhan’s palm as he stretched his hand out to show it to her. And instinctively, she had reached out to take it, but stopped. Indeed, the silver necklace in the shape of a flower was probably the most beautiful thing she had ever worn (aside from the engagement ring). But the necklace was not Ren’s. And if she’d keep it or even wear it again, it wouldn’t be only hurtful for her fiancé but also for herself – to be reminded of a love which always had a wrong timing.
Slowly, Mei shook her head and withdrew her hand. If they wanted to pretend that nothing did happen, they needed to get rid of everything that was proving their love.
“Yes,” Luhan assured, “It’s better.”
For a moment, Luhan struggled whether he should finally give her ring back which was hidden in his pocket. It was the most treasured jewelry for her and it might make her forget about his gift of which she had to let go now since he knew how much she loved it, so it would brighten up her mood a little more. But the mere thought of giving it back to her hurt him since she would be living a lie again and treasure something which didn’t even belong to her fiancé. They wanted to remove everything which proved their love and the engagement ring was one of it, even if she didn’t know the truth.
So Luhan would be selfish once more and keep the ring - as a memory of a love which had taught him so many things.
Mei felt something cold on her skin and as she looked up into her mirror, she saw Luhan putting on another necklace around her neck. It was the one Ren had sent to her for their anniversary, the one she had never worn before. But it was from Ren and it would make him happy to see that she was wearing it.
Luhan wrapped his arms around Mei and pulled her backwards nearer to him. Tenderly, he kissed her head.
“Are you ready to go?” He whispered against her hair.
Without hesitation, Mei shook her head and lifted up her hands to grab for his arms, to hold onto him as strongly as he was holding onto her. “No, I’m not.”
Luhan closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, content that she was feeling the same way. “Me neither.”
And for another moment he dared imagine what if they would spontaneously drive to another destination; what if they’d go down to their car and drive back to northern China, continuing living their lives like they did in the past weeks, just side by side with each other, letting their love flourish and just drive towards the sunset, day for day without a certain aim – because they have already foun
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