Joined Hands in Xi'an
Wanderlust“How do you find the necklace?“
Mei let her hand wander over the jewelry, feeling its engraving on the silver pendant decorated with colorful floral patterns. It was something extraordinary which stood out very easily if you’d wear it and it was something Mei wouldn’t look at twice. She was never really fond of bright, colorful and outstanding necklaces, because in her eyes, every kind of jewelry was there to enhance someone’s appearance (like the necklace Luhan had given her) and not to steal someone’s feature.
But wasn’t it always about the motif behind the gift? Ren had given it to her because he had remembered their anniversary and because he wanted to make her happy with a gift from which he had thought she might like. He couldn’t know it didn’t fit her taste, though, shouldn’t he be aware of it after years of being in a relationship with her?
However, Mei couldn’t be mad at him. (She was only disappointed.)
“I like it,” she answered through the phone.
(When Luhan gave her his necklace, her answer was, “I love it.”)
“I’m glad,” Ren sighed and let out a relieved laugh. He had been worried that it was something which wouldn’t match her taste and since Luhan was not with him to help, he needed to do this mission by himself. Though, against his expectations, it didn’t take him long to decide for a necklace, because his girlfriend liked flowers, so Ren chose a jewelry which represented that topic in the most outstanding way.
(Unlike Luhan, who spend hours in the jewelry shop to buy a girl he didn’t know the perfect engagement ring.)
“Any plans for Valentine’s day so far? This is the first time we can’t spend it with each other.”
Mei had totally forgotten that Valentine’s Day was just two days away. Ever since she had gotten together with Ren, he had taken her out to an expensive restaurant on that special day. However this year, her boyfriend was not even in the country, which was why she hadn’t paid much attention to that festival (or was it because she hadn’t paid much attention to Ren himself anymore?)
“Hm… not really. What am I supposed to do on Valentine’s Day when you’re not around?”
“That’s what I wanted to hear,” Ren laughed solemnly, “Valentine’s Day is for lovers only, after all.”
Yes, Valentine’s Day was for lovers only. Mei was questioning whether Ren knew what he was saying with his last sentence, whether he could even grasp a slight thought of what it could mean. He was aware of the situation, because he was the one who had sent her to spend the summer holidays with his best friend, but he surely didn’t know what he had caused by deciding to do so.
This year, Mei was going to spend Valentine’s Day with the man she slowly fell in love with and not with the man she was almost engaged to.
And the worst thing in her situation was… she truly wanted to spend the day of love with someone she wasn’t supposed to be with. Just for one day, one night. The thrill, the danger and the overwhelming feeling he has set in her was all too alluring to resist. For once, she just wanted to let go and give in.
“Alright, I need to go now, my lunch break is over,” Ren said, still triumphing over his (seeming) triumph. “Please do take care on your way to Chengdu tomorrow. I’ll be calling you on Valentine’s Day so we can gaze the sky together. I love you, Mei.”
Mei looked into the mirror she was standing right in front of, examining the girl she was and the girl she was supposed to be, but most likely, the girl Ren expected and wanted her to be. How much of everything, of the Mei who left Beijing weeks ago, was left now?
“I love you too.”
Never in her life had those words been more difficult for her to say.
Mei and Luhan didn’t talk about the happenings the night before, but not because they were too embarrassed or ashamed to reminisce about it, but because each of them had their own thoughts to follow silently.
When they were eating breakfast, the air wasn’t thick or burdened with reproaches. They shared a sweet morning greeting, shy smiles and the question whether they felt fine after being out for so long. They shared quiet laughers, nonchalant talks and the happiness they felt around each other.
Though, they didn’t talk about their almost-kiss.
But that surely wouldn’t prevent them from thinking further. Although the kiss never happened, Luhan and Mei had their own reasons to be happy about.
Luhan was happy because, regardless of the many times he had retired himself, regardless of the many times he withdrew himself because of Ren, he had set something free that made Mei feel attracted to him.
He was still not sure whether Mei could remember the night before which made it quite hard for him, but he didn’t want to talk about it and in case, make her feel embarrassed.
There was hope for him. (Luhan just needed a clear sign.)
Mei was happy because, regardless of the many times she tried to fight and struggle, regardless of her relationship, she was finally able to give in and crave for something she was longing for a little too long.
Mei could remember the night before, but she was too shy to tell Luhan, to tell him that she knew he wanted to kiss her too.
There was hope for her. (Luhan just needed a clear sign.)
“It’s raining now,” Luhan stated and Mei turned around to look out the window, not far away from their breakfast table. “But not that heavy. Shall we still go?”
Just a few minutes ago they had decided to visit the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda, but taking a glimpse outside now, the sky got grey and darker, the rain drops mercilessly pattering against the glass.
Mei remembered the last time when they were hindered from going on a trip because of heavy rain. It was back in Shenyang and despite the fact that she wasn’t responsible for it, she had felt terribly awful that Luhan hadn’t been able to visit the places in the city he wanted to see, causing him to feel sad and disappointed although he tried to hide his true feelings so hard.
This time, Mei wouldn’t let that happen again.
“Yes, we should. It doesn’t look like it’s going to flood the streets.”
Luhan got his clear sign when he entered Mei’s room to get her jacket. He had volunteered to go get some clothing before they would leave while he had her wait in the lobby. When Luhan walked over to the closet to grab her jacket, his gaze fell on the commode in front of the mirror.
On top of it laid a necklace and Luhan immediately knew who it was from without even thinking further. When he had picked up Ren’s anniversary gift for Mei, he had already shamelessly shaken the little package, getting that it was some sort of jewelry.
Actually, Luhan had felt proud of his best friend to take such a step to finally prove his love for Mei in a more obvious way (even though it meant that it hurt himself very much).
But taking a look at the necklace, he could see that it was something Mei would never wear – too bright, too outstanding. Still, the motif behind this gesture counted. Ren had taken the opportunity to give thought and go buy something for his girlfriend, to look through shops and to take time to decide for a gift.
On the one hand, Luhan was proud that Ren could do it without his best friend’s help now, that he was more autonomous when it came down to th
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