I. Creation

Bring back my entity.

(note: the dolls in this story are ball-jointed dolls, except for the new Taemin because he's life-sized and more human-like)

A four-year-old boy with large eyes and messy raven hair sat in the middle of the playground, his precious doll cradled against his chest. 

A child could only love a toy to an extent, but Minho loved his doll like it was his own brother. He wouldn’t listen to the other kids that said dolls were for girls; he loved his doll and he wouldn’t give it up no matter what. His doll was better than any Power Rangers action figure or toy car all his other friends played with. Because they didn’t give him happiness like his doll did.

“Minnie baby, are you ready to go now?” his mother asked, pulling the young boy out of his whimsical daydream. He looked up to see his young umma smiling down at him, extending her hand for him to take.

Minho smiled cheekily and took his mother’s hand, his other small hand holding his doll’s even smaller one.

“You didn’t forget Taemin now, did you?” Mrs. Choi asked.

Minho shook his head frantically and held up his toy, showing that his doll was still there, safe and sound. Minho would never leave Taemin anywhere. They would be together for as long as they lived. Taemin was his only true friend, and Minho would never ever ever leave him.

His doll had a name, but unlike ‘Scooby’ or ‘Starfish’ or any other childish name kids named their toys, Minho’s doll was named something very human-like. Minho didn’t know who or why the toy was named Taemin, ‘Taemin’ just came with a tag that had his name on it. Minho loved the name ‘Taemin’. Although, he would’ve liked to name him Minseok, so that it would sound like they were brothers.

Nevertheless, Taemin was like family to him, and Minho loved him with all his heart.

That was why; he never thought that the day would come... the day that he’d lose Taemin forever.

Ever since the loss of his favorite doll, Minho dedicated himself to the art of dollmaking, in hopes that if he became good enough, he could make a doll that looked exactly like the one he had lost. His mother tried to buy him something else after they lost Taemin in the train station, but Minho would just refuse everything and say that they weren't pretty like Taemin was.

For months that stretched onwards, Minho attempted to create a doll that looked like Taemin, but every time that he did, what he would create looked nothing like Taemin. They always came out not pretty enough, not good enough to be a new Taemin. And Minho had been disappointed with himself, and decided to give up altogether after his umpteenth failed attempt.

He couldn’t make anything beautiful, he thought.

But other people seemed to think otherwise; this he discovered after his parents found the ‘Taemin’ dolls he had made. They were amazed at how such a young boy like him could make something as pretty as the dolls they have found. Minho didn’t think so, but to humor his parents, he picked up on the hobby again and continued to make new dolls.

All of the dolls he had made since he learned how to paint and sew, were either given to his younger cousins or bought by his neighbours that had children. At first, Minho didn’t understand why they wanted the dolls he created. They weren’t beautiful and perfect like Taemin was. But his parents, and all the people around him, told him that he had a great talent for dollmaking.

That was why he pursued a career in the art, and a successful career it had become.

After eighteen years of hard work and perseverance, Minho’s name became known all over the world for creating the most exquisite, detailed, and the most beautiful dolls in history. He was offered great amounts of money for his work, so that each doll that he sold could be considered a small fortune. 

Little by little, as his business thrived, the memory of the doll he had been trying to recreate as a child faded away. The name ‘Taemin’ was not familiar to him anymore. Not anymore.

After all, he’d been just four years old when he tried to recreate his beloved doll.

“What are you doing over there, my dear dongsaeng?” Jonghyun chirped from behind the busy man hunched over the drawing table. How the little hyung even made it past the door without disturbing the peace, Minho had no idea.

Minho elbowed his assistant-slash-best friend away when the older man tried to look over his shoulder, “Don’t look yet, hyung. Nobody can see this sketch until it is finished, colored, and edited,” he huffed, continuing to scratch his pencil furiously on the sketchpad.

Jonghyun rolled his eyes. He was so bored with nothing to do in the workshop because he left his PSP at home and there were no orders to fill in. He had planned to bother his dongsaeng to take away his boredom, but apparently, Minho had more important things to do than entertain him.

Such as drawing what Jonghyun guessed was a plan for a doll. The older male plopped down on a sofa beside Minho’s drawing desk and watched as the pencil furiously scratched on the page, with its owner hunched over his drawing like it was some top-secret stuff. A small smile grew on Jonghyun's face while he saw how passionate his best friend was. Ever since they were small, Minho had always been passionate about everything he loved to do.

“Another doll costume, I presume?” Jonghyun spoke. He twiddled with the hem of the apron Minho had forced him to wear ever since they started the workshop a few years ago. Jonghyun didn’t see why they needed such a thing but Minho insisted that they needed some kind of uniform; it protected him from the paint stains, anyway, so he’d stopped complaining a long time ago.

"Nope, a doll this time," Minho grunted in response, before clicking his tongue in disapproval and erasing an error on his sketch. He smiled a little bit when he finally drew the perfect lips on the model, “I couldn’t find a suitable model, hyung. This doll will be the perfect one; the most beautiful doll I will ever make,” he explained with a dreamy smile on his face, pencil still flying on the paper, “I couldn’t find anyone that was to my liking, so I just decided to model it after my own imagination, after my own idea of beauty.”

Jonghyun smiled at the thought, “Ah, I see,” he said.

“But everyone has a different idea of beauty, you know," Jonghyun interjected, "For me, I think that shiny black hair and apple-shaped lips are the most attractive. What just happens to be yours then?” he then positioned himself comfortably on the couch, ready to listen to his dongsaeng’s oncoming rambling. This would kill just enough of his boredom, Jonghyun thought happily.

But to the older man’s surprise, Minho replied with a simple, “I don’t have anything particular to describe my own view of beauty, hyung,” he said with a bit of a chuckle, “For me, though, what I envision beauty to be is what comes from my heart.”

Jonghyun leaned forward in his seat, now more interested to hear the younger’s explanation, “Like what?”

Minho shook his head, “It may be odd to hear, but as I’ve said, this doll will be the most beautiful doll I’ll ever create—so I just modelled him after what’s in my heart, after what I feel is right,” he said, “I’m sure you understand, hyung. You feel the same way when you create those clothes, right?”

Jonghyun nodded slowly. Yes, it was true that he was passionate about making doll’s clothes, yet he never really thought that deeply about it. He sewed based on his design and sometimes Minho’s... he never really thought about designing based on what’s in his heart. Jonghyun wasn't sure whether his best friend was a deep genius, or he’d completely lost his mind.

“Ah, finished!” Minho declared, knocking Jonghyun out his sudden onslaught of deep thoughts.

“Can I see it now?” Jonghyun jumped up from his seat and hopped on Minho’s desk, placing his beside the sketchpad.

An almost audible gasp escaped him when he saw the drawing on Minho’s paper.

“Oh my... it’s so... so...” Jonghyun struggled to find the right word for such a beautiful design, “Unique.”

The dollmaker smiled up at him, “Thank you, hyung. Isn’t he just perfect?” he sighed dreamily, “This is the image of what is perfect to me, hyung. He is my idea of beauty.”

Jonghyun traced his fingers over the sketch of very detailed eyes, his mouth open in complete awe. They had never modelled a doll after a mere sketch, they’ve always used photographs of real people whom they hired as models. And to be honest with himself, Jonghyun preferred this sketch over everything they’ve ever created.

It was just so beautiful; the epitome of aesthetic perfection.

Minho felt a swell of pride in his heart when Jonghyun continued to compliment him and as he stared at his drawing. Finally, he’d be able to create the perfect doll he’d always dreamed of. He was so happy with his work that he’d failed to realize that what he had drew, was actually the image of his long-lost Taemin.

“Will you help me with this, hyung?” Minho asked, “He’s going to be life-sized.”

Jonghyun gave the younger boy a firm pat on the back as he hopped off the desk, “When have I ever refused?”

A week later

Making fifteen-inch dolls were always a piece of cake for Minho and Jonghyun. Even the orders that had some specific requests like highlights on the hair, little logos on the clothes, and even piercings on the dolls--with their passion for work, they never failed to fill up an order. However, making a life-sized and realistic doll was a completely new challenge for both creators.

While the rest of the work force on the lower workshop was busy putting the doll parts together, polishing its faces and molding the features and body parts (the two were in charge of the details and paint), Jonghyun and Minho were upstairs and busy with their personal project.

The older of the two was in his part of the workshop with his sewing machine, creating the gorgeous hanbok that he had designed for Minho’s doll. It was a combination of blue and white, the color of the ocean at night and the clouds at day. He especially used the best cloths in their stock for this; the doll was going to be the ‘perfect’ doll, after all.

While his best friend was busy sewing on his custom-made sewing machine, Minho was sweating from concentration as he painted the life-sized doll’s features. It already had a wig atop his head; a brown mess of hair he especially ordered from France. It was made from real hair, he was informed, hence why it looked so realistic.

The doll’s face had a Mona Lisa smile, just how Minho had sketched it. He had formed the doll’s body and face by himself over the past week, having many sleepless nights because he was so excited with his work. The end result was worth it though, because what came out was an absolutely stunning figure with pale, creamy ‘skin’. He was perfectly proportioned in every way, just as his face followed Minho’s sketch so accurately.

The doll was at the height of five feet and eight inches, standing just a few inches shorter than the creator himself. Minho thought that that was just the perfect height. Not too tall, not too short, either. He secretly snickered at the fact that it was a little bit taller than Jonghyun himself.

“Just a little bit more,” Minho muttered to himself as he carefully painted the lips with the tiny brush in his hand. He used a pale pink color, and mixed it with a bit of the shade of apricot to make it more life-like. Beads of sweat ran down his forehead as he concentrated, the passion and love for creating fuelling his actions.

After hours spent on the carving and painting the lips alone, Minho still had a long way to go finish his perfect doll.

It took eight long months in total to finish their work. 

The process took much, much longer than they’d expected because the detail of Minho’s doll was impeccable; that he literally looked like a real human when they finished. Beautiful with glassy, brown eyes, soft hazel-colored hair, pretty pink lips with cheeks tinted of the same color, and a nose that was molded to perfection. The doll was made of plastic, but his skin looked very life-like on color alone. All of the people who saw Minho’s doll had claimed that they thought it was a real human when they first entered the room.

And the fact that his doll was almost human was the main reason why Minho had grown so attached to it. He had spent day and night on his creation for eight whole months, spent hours staring at the beauty of his precious doll. A few times, he even spent a few minutes just gazing at the doll, he himself being bound by his own creation’s beauty. How could he not? He’d made it with more effort and passion than he did for any other doll he sold; it was bound to be perfect.

Minho couldn’t help the small smile break out on his face as he the doll’s cheek with delicate movements. His smile grew even wider when he realized that Jonghyun had changed the doll’s hanbok to a green one, this time, with a subtle floral pattern on the front. He made a mental note to thank his best friend later, after he finished admiring his gorgeous creation.

At some days, he’d ponder why he was so attached to this particular doll, why he had poured all ounce of effort and heart into it, yet he came up with no definite answer. It wasn’t just the wish to create a perfect doll, Minho knew that for himself, he knew there was something much deeper than that...

Now that he thought about it, the doll looked kind of familiar...

Minho couldn’t put his finger on it, but somewhere in his memories, this doll had been a part of him. He was sure of it. He just didn’t know exactly what.

“Hey, Minho~” Minho’s musing was disturbed when he heard the familiar sing-songy voice of his hyung entering the room.

Minho smiled at his best friend's arrival, “Hey, Jonghyun-hyung. Thanks for changing the clothes on 'im.”

Jonghyun walked up to his best friend, standing next to the man in front of the pretty doll that just happened to be taller than him. He reached out to touch the fabric of the hanbok, feeling the soft silk on his talented fingers.

“Not a problem, dongsaeng. But...what are you going to name him then?” Jonghyun asked.

Minho looked at him, “Name?” he hadn’t really thought about that.

“Yeah,” Jonghyun nodded once, “We can’t keep referring to him as ‘the doll’ or ‘Minho’s child’ anymore, right? He needs a name.”

Minho looked back at the doll’s eyes and thought. He hadn’t really considered giving it a name, and he felt so ashamed for that. How could he not give a name to something he’d worked on for eight long months?

He didn’t think much longer, because for some reason, a particular name just popped in his head randomly.

“Hmm... I think I’ll name him Taemin.”