I'm not sure why I didn't let them know I could hear them. I'm not sure why I listened in on their private moment. I'm not even sure if I regret it or not. I'm not sure of any thing right now. 

"You like Yoon Jae, too." Shi Won had said with a hint of sadness in her voice. 

"I need to get over my first love." Joon Hee had told her. 

.....Joon Hee likes me? I'm his...first love? My mind was reeling from this alone when the second bombshell was dropped--

"Yoon Jae will be upset to hear that you're moving out."

I needed some air. I needed to get out of there. Everything was just too....heavy. But of course, when I got to the ground floor, there he was....smiling and waving at me like he always had. Nothing was different--to him. But everything was different to me. How long had he been in love with me?

I sat in the Onata for a while--I don't even know how long--considering just that.

...Watching the Asia Cup match back in '97--my arm around him as I chewed on my thumbnail waiting for our team to score...

...Playing basketball together...all those times I threw my arm around him in a half hearted headlock...

...Asking him "Do you like someone right now?" Why hadn't I noticed he looked uncomfortable back then when he answered yes? Like a moron I had asked, "Is it someone I know?"

..."I'm not into Shi Won. I like someone else." Joon Hee had told me that night on the basketball court. His answer when I asked him who--he had told me out right. "you." He was even looking at me--so brave and so scared.

How had I missed it all? Well, which guy could guess their best friend was in love with them? Right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yoon Yoon Jae, wake up. It's nine already."

Why was I waking up to Joon Hee's soft voice and warm breath on my ear? 

"Go ahead." I whined. "I want to sleep more." Ugh. So tired.

"Wake up so we can have breakfast together." He was sitting beside me now....sitting on my bed....with me in it.

"Breakfast?" Get out of my bed! "Since when have we eaten breakfast?"

"Otherwise we won't see each other all day. Wake up and get ready. I have something to say to you."

Something to say to me? He wasn't going to confess, was he? No. That couldn't be it......right?

I don't know why he bothered to put food in front of himself. He was poking his rice with his chopsticks but that's about it. There didn't seem to be any eating involved.

"Joon Hee." I broke the silence, still a bit nervous.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to get dinner later?" Is that really what I wanted to say??

His answer was a nod.

"Okay, I'll head to the hospital." I told him, crisis averted.

"I have surgeries until late. I'll call you when I'm done. Or I'll meet you at work."

"Sure. Let's drink some soju tonight." Brilliant idea, genius. I followed this up with some small talk about my brother--a safe subject. Until it turned to me saying he'd never made a wrong decision in love.

"Is it because of your brother that you won't accept Shi Won? Because he chose her?"

Why was he bringing this up? Yeah, my brother liked the same girl I did back then. Yes, he confessed to her first because I was chicken. No matter how much I liked Shi Won, how could I go against the brother that raised me when our parents died? And why was this important to Joon Hee--didn't he like me?

"Liking someone isn't a choice." He continued. "It comes from your heart. She likes you and you like her. I understand why you're avoiding her.  But it's not her fault. You and your brother liked her. Why does she have to be tactful? It's not her fault. Because you liked her for a long time and she didn't notice? It's not her mistake. She could have not known. Sometimes, you don't notice when someone likes you."

That look of sadness in his eyes when he told me that...it wasn't Shi Won he was talking about. I knew that now. How hurt he must have been--being by my side for so many years while I was oblivious.

"Do you still like Shi Won? Then the game is over. No matter how much you struggle, there's no answer. If you like her already, there's nothing to decide.  Don't regret it. Don't blame your brother. Just do what your heart says."

BZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

My phone.

He stood, anxiously fiddling with his clothes and pockets. "That wasn't what I wanted to say. I'll call you later. And pick up your phone. At least she follows her heart. She's better than you."

Better than me? What about you, Joon Hee? What was your heart telling you all these years? 

I wasn't going to post this, yet. I was going to finish the parts that happened in the drama and then start on my story. But, we all know that's not the way I do things. =p 

Yoon Jae isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, so his thoughts are quite jumbled. Thus, when I'm writing his thoughts I'm misusing punctuation and the grammar isn't up to par. It's painful for me, but necessary.