I didn’t know why but now, I was stepping back to this hospital again.

It’s not that my sister hasn’t recovered nor I’m sick. But still, there’s a strong force that urged me into the hospital.

Even though my body itself knew how much I hate to be with that disgusting smell!

“Miss, are you coming to visit XiuMing again?” A nurse asked, concerned over the sudden presence of me.

I looked at her, not answering anything. Yet, it seemed like my gaze had told her everything instead.

“He had changed to Room No.20 this morning. Just turn to the left side and there he is in the second room.” She continued, showing me the direction of the room that I wasn’t familiar with.

“Thank you.” I nodded my head and passed her an apple before walking to the room she mentioned.

XiuMing.

The young boy that I met the day before.

Actually, I myself also didn’t know how we grow closer to each other. I’m not the type of active person nor a busybody type. I rarely communicated with people at that moment as I disliked to socialize with people.

However, he’s the first person that I wished to be close with, without my mind can understand what my heart thought of.

I guess maybe.

Maybe he was just a poor young boy.

… Or with another reason of mine.

That’s the sadness in his eyes. The feeling of the mini me.

Making me wanted to do something for him, so that he won’t be like me. The past me.

I reached my hand on the doorknob, opened the door and walked in, later greeted by XiuMing who was sitting boringly on his bed.

“Jiejie!” He shouted, jumping excitedly to see me coming again.

“How are you today?” I said, ruffling his hair gently.

Within few seconds, he stepped forward and embraced me with his small hands.

Slowly tilted his head near my ear. He whispered, “I miss you…”

Stunned by his words, I was once left speechless again.

Miss me? He said, missing me?

My mind was confused by his words. Even though it was just a simple phrase.

Yet, the meaning beyond it was different, something that impressed my heart.

What am I…? I mean…

Well, I mean…

who am I and in what kind of position or status I am to be missed by him?

A pure and innocent young kid like him.

Neither I’m his biological sibling nor I’m the doctors or nurses who provided good care to him.

I’m also not someone who generously helped him in paying the hospital bills as well.

So, what’s the reason that made him thinking of me…?

I wondered. Curiosity almost killed me off.

As I’m the type of not speaking out my mind so easily, I was actually waiting for XiuMing to say it himself.

Using his ability of mind reading to scan my doubt and tell me the reason.

But, I guess this kind of power didn’t exist as he continued to tell me about the unfinished stories of his dad.

As expected, his talk started and ended with his dad again.

He kept on telling me how great his dad was, making me kind of curious about something else.

The story of his unmentioned mom.

Is something happened to her? Why didn’t XiuMing mention her before?

That question kept on appeared into my mind.

Even though there was an urge of wanted to ask, still it was managed to stop by my heart.

I was afraid. Afraid of hurting this little boy by my selfish curiosity.

“She’s in the heaven.” He stated.

“My mom…” He continued, surprised me by his words.

Did he read my mind?

Immediately, guilt took over my heart and ran deep in me.

I lowered down my head, knowing that the honesty of my facial expressions had betrayed me.

“It’s okay, Jiejie.” He said, flashed me a smile.

He then moved next to me, telling me the only thing that he knew about his mom. The mom that he had never seen before.

He continued to story about her, recalled back how his dad described his mom and drawn it out on a piece of paper.

“Daddy said that mommy has a pair of beautiful eyes.” He said, held tight onto the red crayon in his hand and added round eyes onto his drawing.

Amazed at how focus and concentrated he was in his drawing, I sensed no sign of upset in his eyes.

Just felt some enjoyment and delight from him when he drew the mom he missed.

It was totally different from me.

The sentimental me whenever I missed my parents through the broken piece of memories in my mind.

The heartbroken memories that I wished would never happen.

While I was still trapped in the past memories, XiuMing reached to his bed and flipped the mattress, revealing the small pieces of paper he had.

“Jiejie, can you teach me some Chinese characters?” He asked, his hand slightly clung onto my arm.

“I’m 7 years old now but I can’t go to school. Can’t you teach me? Please.” He pleaded, sticking out his lower lip.

Watching that adorable expression of him, I couldn’t make any excuse to reject his special request as being cute to me was totally my weak spot.

I took over the paper and pencil, started to prepare a special study lesson.

“What word do you want to learn today?”

“Ermm… I want to learn to write ‘Me’ (我)!”

I gently pressed the black lead onto the paper, started to dye the white piece with some black chinese characters.

XiuMing focused on the way I wrote it while his hand slowly followed mine.

“No! It’s not ‘Find’(找) but ‘Me’ (我).” I smiled, found it entertained to see how this little boy confused by the words.

He stared back at me, hiding his tiny head into his shirt as embarrassment filled his mind.

“It’s harder than I thought…” He mumbled, slightly complained how complicated the Chinese character were.

He’s upset…

I placed my hand over his hand, leading him in writing out the word he wanted.

“Like this, understand?” I asked carefully, trying my best not to hurt his feeling.

“Ermm, thank you!” He said and held that piece of paper high in the air.

Letting the sunlight that pierced through the window reflected his bright smile.

                                      XiuMing, please smile always…

♠ Author's note ♠

Updated again as I'm free today.

Well, not coming out as what I wished.

I mean the quality, but hope that you won't mind :)

Have a nice day!

Kim Hoeun

2013.08.02