“Come on! Say Hippopotamus!” said Ken as he stared at the mostly silent and stoic Leo next to him.

“No.” Leo said and was fine with that. Because apparently the author of this story wants Leo to have a fear of long words, so anything he says is always short.

“Why not? Hippopotamus! Hippopotamus! HIPPOPOTAMUS!” Ken said and started dancing around Leo and acting like an idiot.

Leo who was getting frustrated at the boy said quietly, “Sit down.”

“Not until you say Hippopotamus!” Ken said and tried to bet his eyelashes at Leo, but just ended up blowing Leo off his chair with all the wind he created as a result of the batting.

Getting up and sitting back down in his chair, Leo brushed off the dirt, and thought about how glad he was that there was nothing that stuck to him, or else he might end up in a Pys video.

“Fine!” he raised his voice a bit so that Ken could hear him.

At this Ken squealed like a seal and then placed a chair right in front of Leo so he could stare into those lovely, chocolately, deep, brown ey-

“Uh author-nim, we are trying to get him to say hippopotamus, not trying to make him fall in love with me and have a million babies!” Ken yelled as he whipped his head around and stared daggers through the computer screen.

“Ah! Right, Sorry! Sorry!” I said and bowed 9000 times. “So where was I?”

So that Ken could hear the high, light, but definitely y voi-

“Author-nim!” said the two men and glared at me.

I carefully backed out of the room, because Leo’s glare could have set me on fire. I came back with a bucket of water and bowed again before continuing.

So that Ken could hear Leo say ‘hippopotamus’. Practically vibrating in his seat, al ken’s concentration was put on Leo, making the person who reminds me of a lion, to feel even more pressure.

Fighting his increasing anxiety and raging heart, Leo stared, “Hippo-“ and then failed. Again he tried, “Hippo-,” but he was stopped again by some unnamable force (me the author) that was keeping him from saying it.

Finally after sending the author another glare and set me on fire, I gratefully used the bucket of water I had brought with me, but ended up getting my keyboard wet, and so the story took a different turn.

“Hippo-p-p-p-potamus!” Leo finally yelled out, but his anxiety was so great that instead he had a heart attack and died on the floor.

“Oh no!” screamed Ken who now had a bulging middle, “Who will be the father to my million babies?!” Ken cried and cried while me, the author, tried to carefully roll like a buffalo out of the room.

Though I was caught by the pregnant man and because I am scared of men in their pregnant state and because his eyes were literally shooting flaming arrows that I had to duck back under the table from, I quickly wrote that they got Leo to the hospital in time, and he was saved.

Meanwhile in a different part of the hospital, Ken was yelling at the top of his lungs, all the profanities he ever knew, and stated, “If I ever see Leo, I’m going to neuter him for saying HIPPOPOTAMUS!” The last word being shouted for he finally gave birth to the million little lion kittens who looked half like him and half like Leo.

Leo who could hear and feel the scream through his bones desperately begged the author to kill him again, but I resisted, for having flaming arrows shot at you was no fun.

“Have fun teaching your little kits to grow up, I hope you go into debt!” I said and laughed maniacally as I walked swaggorifically out the door. Leaning back in I said, “You lost the game.” And then walked out laughing.

I smirked to my evil self as I heard Leo’s agonized wails of pain and terror and pure frustration.  And this dear readers is how to make an author-nim go mad because she writes such back crack! Bye bye!

A/N:

I’m not mad! Or am I? Muahahahahahahahahahah! I have no other words for this except, OH MY GOD! Becky look at her it’s lik- Wait no that’s not right! I can’t believe it, I think I just needed to write some bad crack to get the juices flowing and because I am feeling that little bit of crazy that every author will feel. Ok, so enjoy or not, I shall go carve all the names of bands and members into the tree trunk outside my house and come back in twenty years time to see if they are still there. Good-bye from yours stressed and crazed author-nim!   *chuu~   ^_~