The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
~Lao Tzu 

 

“Don’t you think he’s weird?” Donghae crinkled his nose; eyes glued on the slouching guy sitting at the back of the dance studio, who seemed to be completely engrossed with Sungmin who was in such an animated mood. Decked in matching plain grey t-shirt and oversized sweatpants, he looked out of place in the middle white and black uniforms the others were wearing. His shy gummy smile and ghostly pale skin made it even more obvious.

“Who?” Siwon asked nonchalantly, stretching his backs whilst staring at his own reflection in the mirrors, secretly admiring the new haircut his favorite stylist convinced him to try.

Snickered silently, Donghae rolled his eyes, annoyed at the lack of attention he’s getting from the other “Can you stop staring at the mirror? It’s going to crack if you don’t.”

It worked charmingly as Siwon snapped and snarled at his friend “What’s wrong with you?”

Pouting in reply, Donghae continued his stretching routine mumbling under his breath “It’s the new guy.”

“Junsu’s friend?” Siwon raised his thick brows questioningly, eyes straining at the scrawny figure at the back. Siwon shrugged, settling on the wooden floor as he extended his long limbs, showing off his flexibility. Seeing Donghae’s quiet frown, he asked earnestly “What’s wrong with him?”

Shifting his weight on one leg while stretching the other, Donghae wobbled slightly, he’s never good at balancing “He’s too scrawny, too shy.”

Bending in to touch his pointing toes, Siwon answered in between breaths “Sungmin seems to like him though” he shrugged in response. Effortlessly straightening his back again, his gaze fixed on Donghae “Since when do you care about such trivial things anyway?”

Donghae paused a moment, another pout appeared “I don’t. But he’s…”

He was cut mid sentence when their dance instructor stepped into the studio, clapping his hands for attention. Everyone scattered into their position almost immediately at the sight of the tall man called Minji-hyung; who’s known well for his quick temper and merciless sharp tongue.

“Why are you not in your uniform?” his voice echoed as he staring down at the clueless new guy.

The room went awfully quiet as everyone waited for the possible answer from the guy in question; knowing too well a wrong answer will definitely be regretted. Unexpectedly, not a single word came out.

“Are you trying to act tough?” Minji-hyung challenged, clearly annoyed with the lack of response the guy was giving him “What’s your name?”

In a clear voice the other replied shortly “Lee Hyukjae.”

“Well, Hyukjae-ssi, you can stand back at that corner till you learn your place” he answered behind greeted teeth, pointing at the far right corner. Not waiting for further response, the instructor turned towards the class and clapped his hands for some attention “Class, let’s show Hyukjae-ssi how an idol should behave in a dance practice.”

Donghae looked down; hated such situation the most, unexpectedly feeling bad for the stranger. Carefully turning towards Siwon, he saw him mouthed in silent “Let it go.”

He turned to the other side and saw Sungmin fidgeting in his spot as well. Junsu was nowhere to be found.

Donghae never really enjoyed dancing, stumbling and missing steps especially when a challenging combination required; making wrong turns and bumping into other classmates, suddenly cursed with two left feet.

“1, 2, 3, step back, half turn to your right, then another three steps to the front and finishes with two half turns. What’s so difficult about that?” hands on his waist, the towering instructor asked Donghae, voice laced in annoyance. Then turning away, the guy announced loudly “Let’s end the class today. I’m in no mood to teach klutzes. Just make sure everyone is flawless by tomorrow.”

The hated man left the studio in sour mood.

The rest slowly followed suit, leaving the studio one by one, looking tired of the ordeal.

Pulling his knees closer, Donghae leaned his back on the glass mirror, trying to catch his breath and collecting his pride.

He looked up as his friend tired voice greeted him “Don’t take it personally” Siwon said, bending down to tap Donghae on the shoulder “You were just a bit out of focus today.”

“It was personal” Donghae sighed in defeat.

“Just ignore him. He’s a bitter old man” a guy called Kibum suddenly joined their conversation, sneaking behind Siwons back “Let’s go out and about him instead. I know a new noodle shop.”

“Nah, I’ll stay for awhile” Donghae shook his head “I’ll join you guys later.”

“We can practice together” Siwon offered, squatting down next to Donghae, hands on his knees.

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine” he quickly dismissed the kind offer, swatted Siwon’s hands away. He’s too proud to ask for help.

Knowing the stubborn tone when he hears one, Kibum quickly pulled Siwon up and swung his arms around the taller guy “Let’s go then”. The he quickly turned around and added “Call me if you’re coming later.”

Donghae’s eyes stayed on the back of his two friends until they disappeared from the room. Sighing to himself, Donghae gripped on the balance bar hanging above his head, pulling himself up, tired eyes on his listless reflection as he said quietly “You can do this.”

Without any help of music, he got back into his position, carefully retraced the routine, remembering the tempo by heart. He was doing well for the first half, conscious of every single movement. But then he missed a step and stumbled onto the floor with a painful thud. He whined helplessly “Urgh. Why can’t I get it right?”

His small figure was still sprawling on the floor, sulking, when smooth steps tapping on the wooden floor echoed in the studio. Donghae abruptly turned around and saw the new guy dance the earlier routine flawlessly. The movements were sharp and precise, as each step was done in grace, showing his strength effortlessly.

Donghae stared in awe, swallowing hard; realizing that the guy didn’t even joined the practice earlier.

After the routine ended, the guy repeated it again and again while Donghae remained still on the floor, eyes glazed in admiration. Then at one point, the guy tilted his head towards Donghae and gave a small wink.

Only then Donghae realized that the guy was showing the steps for him to follow. Putting his pride aside, Donghae got back on his feet and moved closer, eyes fixed on the light feet swiftly glided on the floor. Counting the tempo silently and noting the newly slower pace, Donghae followed each movement in unexpected sync. A soft curve curled at the corner of his lips.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

For them, it started with three backward steps, half turn to the right, followed by three forward steps, and two half turns.

 

************************

The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.
~Paul Valery

 

 

“Surprise awakening!” Leeteuk voice echoed in the quiet long corridor, hands rose in the air as he announced in front of the blinking camera.

“A big success” the other members chirped in as much as enthusiastic they can mustered, which is not much compared to their usual energetic self. Well, it was 6.25 in the morning after all. Leeteuk was the only one looking lively, ready for the world. Kangin, Heechul and Hangeng did not even bother to join them.

Hyukjae was not too happy that he was forced out of bed while his hyungs get away with it. But being the cool sport he was, he played along. But as soon as the word ‘cut’ came out from the PD lips, he slipped behind the camera almost instantly. Leaning his back on the cold covered wall, he stretched his hands, covering a big yawn. His warm bed was the only thing he can think off at that very moment.

Tugging his pink pajamas, Donghae squeezed himself next to the other guy, stealing heat without guilt.

“Thanks for the hard work” the PD announced and bowed to all, rushing the other staffs to pack up the equipments “It’s almost 6.30am. Let’s meet up in the lobby by 8.00am and we’ll have a short briefing on today’s activities.”

“OK” Ryeowook and Yesung replied in low tone, head hanging low dragging their feet towards the opposite directions. Shindong followed not far behind.

Leeteuk who was standing in the middle of the small pathway suddenly turned towards the remaining members and eyed them accusingly “Don’t be late” he reminded all before quietly returning to his own room, leaving the rest behind.

The two stayed side by side in complete silence, watching one after other members dragging their feet to their rooms.

“Aren’t you going back to your room?” Donghae snuggled closer, his arms entangled with Hyukjae’s, leaning his weight on the guy.

“I am, but you’re too heavy” Hyukjae replied, shifting his weight slightly.

Donghae pouted, pulling Hyukjae away from the wall and stretched his neck slightly to put his chin on Hyukjae’s shoulder whilst hugging his back “Let’s go” he ordered and gave the other a little push.

Without a single protest, Hyukjae carried the extra weight, looking determined to get under the thick warm cover as soon as possible. They almost stumbled to the floor when Donghae’s leg accidently stepped on Hyukjae’s slippers, but Donghae still refused to let go the other’s warm back just yet.

After many clumsy strides, they reached the lightly dimmed room. Hyukjae wiggled himself free almost immediately; jumped onto his bed and pulled the blanket in one swift, covering his whole self under it. Sungmin was already in the shower, leaving his undone bed vacant.

No sounds came from Hyukjae except the rustling sounds of the cover.

“Hey, we’re supposed to get ready for breakfast” hands folded across his chest, missing the heat that engulfed him a moment ago.

Yet, no single words came in reply as the human form covered under the blanket went complete still.

“Hyukkie” Donghae whined, cautiously stepping on the messy floor towards the other.

Instead of replying, Hyukjae’s hands traveled at the edge of the thick cover and flipped it slightly.

Donghae stood in silent pout, contemplating. Their Leader’s face popped on his mind. The guy will not be happy if the two of them fall asleep again after all his trouble arranging the waking up session. But the thought of cuddling under the warm cover won over. Besides, he trusted Sungmin will yank them off the bed once he stepped out from his morning shower.

“Just for awhile” Donghae said to no one as he crawled next to Hyukjae, switching off the bed side light before pulling the cover gingerly, feeling the warm slowly creeping in. He inched closer to Hyukjae, wanting to feel his warm back once again.

Without a word, Hyukjae shifted closer, laying flat on his back allowing Donghae to sneak his arms around his chess. They stayed in absolute silence, enjoying each other warmth.

Donghae was the first to break the silence, words almost in whisper “Are you asleep?”

“Hmm” Hyukjae hummed quietly “Trying to.”

Donghae snuggled even closer, wrapping his legs onto Hyukjae’s “This remind me of Adonis Camp.”

“The old house?” Hyukjae asked; the pillow covers rustled slightly as he moved his head closer to Donghae’s.

“Yeah” he replied, tugging Hyukjae’s cotton t-shirt, feeling the tickling sensation prickling his ears as the guy leaned closer “It feels like yesterday.”

“Uhm” another sleepy reply came from Hyukjae “We were so clueless back then.”

“We still are. I’m just glad we didn’t let go of this dream” Donghae answered thoughtfully, letting his legs tangled with Hyukjae’s “We almost did.”

“We were kinda anxious, weren’t we?” Hyukjae responded quietly, feeling Donghae’s fingers circling playfully on his arms.

“Hmm” Hyukjae replied. His voice was almost inaudible when he whispered “I’m glad you stay.”

Feeling his own eye lids getting heavier, Donghae mumbled to himself “Me too.”

***************************

Confession is always weakness.

The grave soul keeps its own secrets, and takes its own punishment in silence.

~Dorothy Dix

 

 

“Oh, oh someone is in love” the earlier quiet room erupted with high pitch incoherent squeals as Heechul and Leeteuk stormed in, skipping hand in hand in their flashy costume.

The same cannot be said for Kyuhyun who entered a moment later; his pale complexion was horribly flushed “Oh shut up” did not even bother adressing his senior as he should.

Donghae’s ears perked instantly, eyeing the trio suspiciously “With whom?”

Hyukjae who was resting next to him did not even move a muscle, completely oblivious to the noise around him.

“No one” Kyuhyun snarled at Donghae, warning him with his icy glare that read ‘stay out of it’.

Fortunately for Donghae, Heechul and their leader were more than happy to fill in the gap for him, chanting in unison “Kyu and Vic, sitting on a tree K.I.S.S.I…”

The last two alphabets were left unspoken as the two were chased out of the room, screaming for their dear lives as Kyuhyun lashed his wrath; leaving Hyukjae and Donghae in peace and quiet once again.

Shifting in the seat, Donghae elbowed Hyukjae for some attention. The guy remained completely still.

“What is love?” Donghae pulled Hyukjae’s sleeves, trying to get the older guy to sit up straight, squeezing himself next to him.

Their glittering costumes were uncomfortably clinging to their listless body, but both were too tired to move.

Hyukjae pressed his lips tight, pretending to think.  

Without waiting for an answer, Donghae asked further with a much lower tone “Have you ever been in love?”

The room fell into complete silence.

“I love dancing” Hyukjae replied, breaking the awkward silence as he picked up the small checkered cushion lying on the bright colored carpet.

Donghae sighed in defeat, too tired to argue as he realized that he was holding his breath a moment ago, anticipating for a different answer “Of course.”

Few seconds later, much to Donghae’s surprise; Hyukjae added almost in whisper “I do have someone dear.”

Taken back by the sheepish smile, slightly blushed cheeks on the usual animated guy, Donghae blinked hard, biting his lips, unsure whether he wants to know the answer. Then, with a bit of hesitation he asked “Who?”

The dramatic pause followed was a bit too much for Donghae’s faint heart.

But his lips curved instantly when Hyukjae replied with a quiet confident smile “My best friend”

Donghae did not ask further, leaning closer as he rested his head on Hyukjae’s small but sturdy shoulder. It’s clear that friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest but it's about who came, and never left your side.

 

********************************

Beware the man who doesn't ask you any questions
 about yourself on your first date. 

~ Merrill Markoe  

 

 

“You should really change your curtain” Donghae said, his gaze roamed around the small room, squinting his eyes at the afternoon sun sneaking into the cozy space  “You’ve been using the blue and white checkered curtains like forever.”

Hyukjae did not respond, his whole focus was on his new four doors closet, lips posed in his infamous concentration pout. His bed was covered with a ceiling high pile of clothes; his.

“And the bed spread too” Donghae added, fidgeting in his small spot next to the pile “You should try to match it with your curtain next time”.

“Don’t move” Hyukjae ordered sternly. A side no one else knows existed except Donghae. Hyukjae always been too nice to speak his own thoughts.

“Why?” Donghae whined, shifting uncomfortably under Hyukjae’s gazed, rubbing his nape and shoulders “My neck getting stiff.”

“I told you not to sit on the bed” Hyukjae scoffed, slowly sorted the pile into the cupboard; color coordinated.

“But it’s such a beautiful day. What a waste to be stuck in here” Donghae playfully kicked the corner of the carpet, twirling his toes around the Persian rug. He then looked up towards Hyukjae, pulling his puppy eyes act.

“You were the one suggested ‘this’ in the first place” Hyukjae said flatly with a hint of annoyance, refusing to give in like he normally does.  

Donghae nodded in feigned guilt “But I didn’t expect it will be like this. I just thought it would be a cool idea to hang out together since it’s our off day. I miss…” he trailed, his tone taking on a nervous tinge.

Then in front of his eyes, Hyukjae’s lips twitched upward forming a small smile “Let’s take another 5 minutes break then.”

Before Donghae could reply, Hyukjae left the room in a quiet stride, leaving the confused Donghae all by himself.

His eyes started to pry each inch of the room. Donghae smiled to himself, noting that nothing has change; the black framed bed was still at the same position, covered in plain cotton sheet and stack of fluffy pillows, too many for one person. His smile widen when his line of sight caught a small white frame of him and Hyukjae making funny faces at the bedside table.

Hyukjae’s clothes fell onto the floor as Donghae bounced slightly on the springy bed like a little kid he is, freely kicking his legs, staring at the dedicated corner of the wall, covered with their concerts snapshots. Donghae chuckled, realizing that even stacking pictures looked ridiculously artistic at the touch of Hyukjae’s magical hands.   

“You’re making a mess” Hyukjae interrupted his wandering thoughts, walking in with two steaming mugs in his hands. He stared on the clutter with unreadable expression. But before Hyukjae could open his mouth, Donghae jumped off the bed, scooped the whole pile on the bed and those on the floor; dumped them into the still empty closet. He then flashed his award winning smile to the host.

Hyukjae sighed. The bed dipped slightly at the added weight as he sat next to Donghae, handling him the hot coffee.

“What mess?” Donghae giggled, cupping the mug with both hands, sipping his drink slowly, enjoying the warm liquid seeping in.

They stayed in bed, completely at eased with each other presence. The sheet rustled slightly when they started laughing at the colorful pictures; reminiscing their journey to stardom, recalling all the silly things they did along the way.

The sun was almost set when Donghae finally pushed himself off the bed, smiling teasingly at the other “I’m hungry.”

 

**************************

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.

~Eduardo Galeano

 

 

“I need some cool pick-up lines” Siwon suddenly announced in the middle of their Karaoke session.

“Why?” Ryeowook asked nonchalantly, more interested in checking the songs selection, tapping his feet on the carpeted floor, following the familiar music.

“Tiffany already rejected you. I doubt any pick up line would change her mind” Donghae chuckled to himself, dodging a flying cushion thrown his way.

“It’s for my new drama. I want to improvise the script a bit” slightly flustered at the mentioned of his all time crush. He emptied his glass of wine in one gulp, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Leeteuk halted in the middle of a song and joined in, announced through the mic “I have one ‘Do you work for NASA? Because you’re outta this world’”

“Lame” everyone shouted in unison, giggling like high school girls. Almost…Hyukjae was caught in his own world, busy fiddling with his food.

“How about this one ‘People call me Siwon, but you can call me Tonight!’” Donghae said, sipping his colorful cocktail careful.

The small room burst in another uproar.

“One more, one more” Ryeowook excitedly raising his hand, hopping on his feet “’Do you have a Bandaid? Coz I just scraped my knee falling for you.”

The boys continued exchanging distasteful pick up lines, merry laughter mixed with the loud music; absolute chaos.

Then suddenly Hyukjae moved next to Donghae and said out aloud “I have one.”

“You do?” Donghae giggled sheepishly, blinking curiously at the guy; almost anticipating his next move.

“Do you know why there are wars?” Hyukjae calmly asked, eyes pouring into Donghae’s brown orbs.

Donghae pressed his lips; then with a tilt to the side, he cutely asked “Why?”

In split seconds, Donghae’s curious face went from blank to flaming red as Hyukjae leaned in and planted a surprise kiss on his lips, tasting the unsuspected pout.

The room roared with insufferable gag sounds from the others, all grasped their throats dramatically, shouting ‘get a room’, forgetting about the second half of Hyukjae’s pick-up line.

Donghae’s eyes widened as his mouth fell agape. The usual mischievous and witty Donghae was at lost.

“Because you let your guard down” Hyukjae replied with a wink.

********************************

I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring.
~David Bowie

 

 

They formed a perfect line, hands clasped tightly as they bowed to the cheering crowd; engulfed in their own emotions, grateful for another great year, chance to do what they were born to do. They were drenched in sweat, slight out of breath after the last song, but they were simply glowing in happiness, thanking their fans earnestly.

As they retreated into their dressing room, changing into the last piece of costume, the stadium echoed as the crowd continued chanting ‘encore, encore’, refusing to end the wonderful night yet. The wardrobe department rushed to their feet, aiding the idols into their final gear.

Yesung was busy practicing his falsetto… Kangin was chilling out with Leeteuk and Heechul… Kyuhyun whining to Ryeowook about the few high notes he missed. Siwon was trying to get his hair in place while Shindong and Sungmin were busy with their phones.

At the far corner of the room, standing side by side staring at the full length mirror, Donghae asked in a quiet voice, eyes lingered on the sweating guy next to him “Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?”

Hyukjae looked straight into the mirror, a beautiful smile dressed his lips “Right here, beside you.”

Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.