not proofread i'm sorry nn;;

remember the first day

A waiter approaches his table to fill his sixth glass of water. Seriously, he’s been going in and out of the bathroom for half an hour now and Donghae is still nowhere in sight. He tries contacting the other but his messages remain ignored and his calls are all directed to the other’s voice mail. Hyukjae takes a gulp of his drink, just how long does he have to wait?

//

The dates had been frequent and the usual casual s in Donghae’s room were replaced with actual meetings in restaurants, malls, theatres and random weird places Donghae dragged Hyukjae in. He still hauled him in unusual dates, places he knew he’d find dull if he had been with somebody else but he was with Donghae. And Donghae was everything but dull.

Hyukjae wasn’t sure how the brunette could make an afternoon in the local library something to look forward to or how a classic musical seemed more exciting than getting laid. His best friends would always about it and Hyukjae did realize that they weren’t doing it for quite a while now but surprisingly, he wasn’t bothered. The little dates were fun anyway.

They would always be as long as he’s with Donghae.

//

It wasn’t always about . No, he thought it’s not anymore.

On Hyukjae’s part, that is.

Perhaps Hyukjae should have realized it the moment he felt angry when he saw Henry left Donghae’s room that one afternoon. Or maybe he should have gone further back, back in the time he found it hard to leave Donghae’s room after their first night together. Hyukjae wondered what it would be like if they didn’t meet the way they did, if he wasn’t drunk that night and hadn’t approach the other as bluntly as he did.

He marveled what if he had just met Donghae on the first day of their Accounting class, with the brunette coming in late but still managing to sweep the teacher and the whole class off their feet with his boyish charm. Maybe he would still sit on the chair beside Hyukjae, and then maybe he would ask him about the things he missed and Hyukjae would kindly tell him that there weren’t much. Maybe they would have given their names right after the first smile (and not before stripping themselves and ravishing each other’s mouth.) Maybe Hyukjae would try to flirt and maybe Donghae would get the hint and flirt back. Perhaps the first date had come after the first few weeks of getting to know each other and not after a couple of nights of meaningless . Maybe confessing would be easier if they did everything in the right order. Maybe those three words would slip off his lips as smooth and as carefree as he had fallen for Donghae.  

Maybe it would be more convenient if they had been friends, with potential and not friends, with benefits.

//

“What are you doing?”

. Hyukjae watched as Donghae’s eyelids fluttered open, revealing two deep brown orbs that had drowned him into deep even from the first day he laid eyes on them. Donghae looked sleepy and it was really cute it took all of Hyukjae’s self-restraint not to dip his head and kiss the living daylights off the other. He didn’t want to look too obvious too, didn’t want to sound so defensive. So keeping his eyes locked on Donghae’s, Hyukjae asked, “What?”

Donghae, eyes droopy and lips tugging in a sheepish grin, snuggled closer to the raven head, his fingers softly hovering over Hyukjae’s forehead as he gently swept his fringes away.  He then placed his hand near his own chin, pressing his cheek even more on his pillow while he curled closer to Hyukjae.

Donghae never really knew personal space.

“That.” Donghae pointed out and even side-eyed Hyukjae’s own fingers which were still caressing Donghae’s temple softly. Hyukjae didn’t let his emotions show, his fingers travelling from the side of the brunette’s head to his face, letting his thumb grace on the softness of Donghae’s cheek and smiling faintly when Donghae nuzzled to his touch.

“I’m just thinking.” Hyukjae informed the other faintly, his wandering hand now on Donghae’s neck, the marks he left earlier now in different shades of pink.

“About?” Donghae asked as he gazed dozily back at Hyukjae.

“Things.” Hyukjae murmured, leaving feathery touches on Donghae’s bare shoulders, arms, until he settled his hand on the other’s waist and hauled him closer.

“Like?” Donghae muttered back, closing his eyes while he allowed Hyukjae to draw him nearer, until no space could probably exist between their bodies. A contented sigh escaped the shorter boy’s lips.

Hyukjae stared at the other’s face and he thought there were just so many things he could come up to answer Donghae. He had been thinking things, lots of it, mostly involving this beautiful boy in his arms. He thought of them being together, in the way he wanted, in the way he dreamed about. He thought what would it be if these cuddles were real, and not just an after--spur-of-the-moment thing. He thought of actually holding Donghae, of really bringing this close and claiming him as his and only his. There were so many things Hyukjae was thinking, so many things Hyukjae wanted to say.

“Food,” he answered instead. ‘Tch. Coward.’ He heard his inner voice taunted him.

Donghae’s nose wrinkled in a cute scrunch, opening his eyes as he looked back at Hyukjae.

“Food?” Donghae asked and Hyukjae nodded before sitting up, his body instantly longing for Donghae’s warmth as soon as it was gone.

“Yep, suddenly feel like grabbing a bite,” Hyukjae uttered, now on his feet and after putting his black rimmed glasses on, he started searching for his clothes, “You’re coming?”

Donghae pursed his lips and tilted his head, eyes landing at the alarm clock over Hyukjae’s nightstand and lifting an eyebrow.

“But it’s 1 o’clock AM?” he asked and Hyukjae merely shrugged.

“Midnight snack,” Hyukjae uttered, putting a shirt on, “You’re coming or what?”

//

Hyukjae’s apartment was wiped off of food since his best friends Kyuhyun and Sungmin went on a trip out of town and took everything with them (including the food Hyukjae bought for himself.) Luckily, there was a 24/7 minimart near his place and that’s where the raven head found himself and Donghae looking for stuff they wanted to eat.

He wasn’t really hungry. But earlier, he was having a hard time controlling his feelings when Donghae was much too close. He was afraid he’ll blurt words he shouldn’t say, revealed feelings that shouldn’t be there in the first place. Hyukjae wanted to punch himself. He felt like starring in his own mellow drama ever since he realized his feelings for Donghae.

‘A tragic, one-sided love one,’ he thought inwardly while he watched Donghae conversed with a male shop assistant nearby. The brunette was giving the other guy that bright, boyish smile of his, probably asking which of the flavored pop corns in the shelf before them tasted best. Hyukjae felt his greedy self acting up again, wishing he could pull Donghae into his arms and hide his beautiful smile from the rest of the world. Because he knew the world will fall for it. It would, like the way he did.

But the thing was, he didn’t own that smile, it wasn’t just for him to see. He didn’t own Donghae and until he finds the courage to do something about it (if he ever does so) he could only keep these thoughts to himself and…well… sigh.

Hyukjae could only heave a sigh.

The minimart was quite bigger than most of regular convenient stores, with five aisles of assorted products ranging from packed breads, junked foods, cookies, instant noodles, candies, basic toiletries,  some school supplies and liquors.  Donghae was in the second aisle, the area of junk foods and Hyukjae decided to move on the fifth, where there were shampoos, soaps, toothbrushes and toothpastes. Hyukjae didn’t need them, but beside the last shelf were the frozen goods and Hyukjae thought he could help himself with his favorite strawberry milk.

He was contemplating which brand to try when he heard Donghae called for his name. He turned and found the other holding a basket filled with junk foods, just junk foods, and Hyukjae frowned because that didn’t look healthy.

“You’re eating all that?” he shouted and Donghae shook his head.

“Of course we’re going to share!” Donghae yelled back, uncaring if they were practically on each side of the minimart.

Hyukjae scrunched his nose. “I’m not in the mood for junk foods, put those back.”

Donghae pouted and stared at his basket of junk foods.  Hyukjae cursed mentally because he felt like he just kicked a little puppy.

“You can keep the popcorn.” He finally said and Donghae’s eyes sparkled and he grinned, finally agreeing to put the others back.

“What should I take then?” Donghae asked while he emptied his basket except for the two packs of popcorn.

“How about something healthy?” Hyukjae asked, now on the fourth aisle where the packed breads and cookies were. He picked up a pack of wheat oatmeal cookies and called for Donghae’s name, throwing the said item for the other to catch. Donghae was a little unprepared but he did caught the pack and seeing what it was, he instantly made a face.

“Eww,” he said and Hyukjae chuckled.

“It’s healthy!” Hyukjae exclaimed and chuckled when the brunette stuck his tongue out.

“I’m not in the mood to be healthy tonight.” Donghae uttered, using the same tone Hyukjae used earlier that had the raven head cackling once again. Donghae grinned and pointed at the pack of chocolate chip cookies before Hyukjae.

“Take some of those!” Donghae ordered and Hyukjae perked up an eyebrow and picked the pack Donghae wanted. It was good, Hyukjae liked that brand and he was about to walk to where Donghae was and hand it to him when he thought of an idea. He eyed Donghae back and snickered.

“If you catch it, it’s yours.” Hyukjae uttered and giving Donghae no time to process what he just said, he threw the packet and Donghae was a little late to catch it.

“Oops. No chocolate chipped cookies then.” Hyukjae uttered with a mocking whistle. Donghae looked at the packet on the floor before gazing back at Hyukjae, wide eyed.

“You’re not serious.” He said but Hyukjae could see the mischievous glint on the brunette’s face. He’s so up for this.

“I am,” Hyukjae confirmed, “Sad though, that’s my favorite brand, so so good,” he teased and Donghae quirked up an eyebrow.

“Oreos?” Hyukjae asked as he picked one and waved it to Donghae. The brunette rolled his eyes and snorted, but he dropped the basket and rolled his sleeves. Hyukjae smirked.

“Bring it on.”

Hyukjae moved to the third aisle after tossing four more brands of cookies and two packed breads. Donghae transferred to the first with his basket because he liked challenges.

The third lane consisted packs and cups of instant noodles, Hyukjae’s favorite brand of instant ramen catching his eye straightaway. Hyukjae picked it up, waving it for Donghae to see but the brunette, finding the opportunity to tease the other back, shook his head and mouthed a flat ‘No.’

Hyukjae eyed him in disbelief and scoffed.

“Come on~” he cooed and dared to chuck the pack exactly where Donghae was standing but the brunette looked away and moved to his left. Hyukjae clearly heard the thud his pack of ramen made when it hit the cold floor.

“Seriously?” he asked Donghae with an amused smile and the brunette grinned.

“Oops. No instant ramen for Hyukjae then~” Donghae crooned and Hyukjae shook his head because he knew, right at that moment, that he was beyond whipped.

“Hey stop with the game already.” The male sales assistant Donghae was talking to earlier came to interrupt.

“Just let them.” The ginger-haired girl behind the counter called his co-worker. “It’s not like there are other costumers and they somehow help me get over the boredom,” she added and when Hyukjae turned to look at her, she sent him a wink. Hyukjae frowned and wondered what that was about.

He turned his attention back to Donghae, ready to ask what he should take next when he found the other marching over to where he was. The brunette looked annoyed and Hyukjae wondered if it was because someone disturbed his little playtime.

“I think we have enough,” he told Hyukjae, “Let’s just pick some drinks and go home.”

Hyukjae never thought of Donghae as the moody type but he was slightly perplexed on the way the other was acting up right now. He had his arms crossed over his chest, tapping his feet impatiently while he watched the cashier took her time. Hyukjae was worried what could be the reason of his mood swing. As far as he remembered, they were having fun.

Heaving a sigh (he could only heave a sigh, seriously), Hyukjae shifted his gaze from the brunette to the cashier and asked her nicely if she could hurry up a bit. The girl chuckled in a strange way (Hyukjae took note) and instead of answering she asked back if he was in a rush. She didn’t seem to get the idea that they really were because she kept up with her pace, gazing back at Hyukjae and giggling to herself in between each item she punched in. Probably getting enough of it, Donghae cleared his throat and took the initiative to pack the items for her, with Hyukjae being utterly bewildered with the brunette’s actions but he quickly reached for his wallet once Donghae ordered him to pay. He was mildly startled when the cashier squeezed his finger just as he handed the payment but he didn’t get the chance to ponder more about it because Donghae was already leaving with their purchase. Hyukjae called for the brunette to wait but he was ignored. He hastily took his change, his eyes locked on the departing brunette that he failed to notice the cashier girl writing her number on their purchase’s receipt. He scrambled his way out of the shop, their receipt forgotten, and rushed to catch up with Donghae. The calls from the girl in the minimart were left unheard.

//

“That girl was obviously hitting on you.”

Hyukjae frowned, his steps coming into a halt.

“What?” He asked dumbly. They were halfway back to the apartment building, Hyukjae taking the shopping bags from Donghae as soon as he reached him and the brunette being completely quiet since they left the minimart. Hyukjae was actually marveling what seemed went wrong but it turned out he didn’t need to guess because Donghae was not planning to hide anything.

“That girl,” he sputtered the word as if it was something he totally detested. “It’s as if she’s itching to throw herself at you any time.”

Hyukjae remembered the wink, the weird gazes directed to him, the giggles he didn’t notice to be flirty until Donghae mentioned it. He wasn’t good with flirting (heck he might had not have the guts to approach Donghae in their first meeting if he wasn’t drunk) so he couldn’t really easily distinguished when he sees one. But then again, it didn’t matter right at that moment because although Hyukjae wasn’t entirely familiar with the deal with hook-ups and checking out, he sure did recognize that look Donghae was sporting now. He had seen this so many times, felt it even, and with the way the brunette was glaring into space and looking so pissed off, Hyukjae was sure he guessed it right.

He bit his lip with the thought, a sudden surge of happiness bubbling inside him. Maybe it wouldn’t be too delusional for him to hope. Donghae continued walking and he followed, suppressing a smile that was threatening to break on his face. Unable to control his feelings, Hyukjae snickered, effectively gaining the other boy’s attention. Donghae stopped scowling at the sight of the wide gummy smile on Hyukjae’s face.

“Now what is it?” The shorter boy asked, his irritation completely fading away.

“What?” Hyukjae pretended he didn’t know.

“He-he,” the brunette mimicked him before poking his side. Hyukjae jerked away and chuckled. “What’s so funny?!”

“Nothing!” Hyukjae insisted but when Donghae prodded and tickled him some more he almost dropped the shopping bags, he gave up resisting and promised he would tell.

“It’s just that… it’s so cute,” Hyukjae said and Donghae’s eyebrows knitted. The raven head chuckled once more because the shorter male was being adorable again. “The face you make…” Hyukjae added and grinned widely, “…when you’re jealous. It’s really, really cute.”

Donghae’s eyes broade