variations on the word love

Description

He was told he didn't understand, because he had never truly been in love.
And he, on the other hand, had been in love for so long, he didn't know how to not be in love anymore.

 

 

Notes: 
Title is taken from the poem 'variations on the word love' by Margaret Atwood.
 
This piece of work is about 80% from my headcanon and 20% from plain wishful thinking. There may be some inaccuracies too, so this is a warning in advance... uhm if I did get anything wrong, just holler.
 
There will be two main versions and Jiyong's version is going up first... I'm still working on this so I hope that I get both done before my steam runs out!
 

Foreword

 

Then there's the two
of us. This word
is far too short for us, it has only
four letters, too sparse
to fill those deep bare
vacuums between the stars
that press on us with their deafness.
It's not love we don't wish
to fall into, but that fear.
this word is not enough but it will
have to do. It's a single
vowel in this metallic
silence, a mouth that says
O again and again in wonder
and pain, a breath, a finger
grip on a cliffside. You can
hold on or let go. 
 
-- 'variations on the word love', margaret atwood
 
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Mlk77GTOP #1
Chapter 11: i really love this. I think canon fics are my favorite! this is one of my favourite stories right now.. <3
Kittichin #2
This is my favorite fic on aff right now. Ive been a lurker for awhile now and noticed you havent updated in quite some time... sooo i finally signed up for an account just so i can give you a proper comment! I know that might not mean anything to you but i guess what im trying to say is i really really love this fanfic. I think canon fics are my favorite type of gtop!! I love it! Esp the journey of finding love!! The longer the better. I love your pace and the realism and the slow discovery. I love this type of fics more than ty ones. Sigh. So please update soon!! Im such a big fan!!
kutunakal #3
Chapter 10: Ahhhh can't read and comment rn bcos work!!! But soon! Soon! Ahhh so happy you updated
Hekkiq #4
Chapter 10: Where have you been? Why don't I get more frequent updates?! (Because obviously this is about me). I'm gonna have to wait forever aren't I? I loved the kiss scene though. I laughed just thinking about it.
mongiemong #5
Chapter 10: I read this like one or two months ago for the first time I think? Until chapter 9 (and I tend to not comment because I'm always reading from my phone and it's hard to comment there ugh).

When I saw you updated I just smiled because I really love canon fics to bits.

I love how naturally close but awkward they are--how there's always this blurry line between them.

To be really honest, I really can't wait to see Version T (or whatever version you'd name Seunghyun's =p), because he's the one who's always been in love, and I want to knows the reason behind all the things he did to Jiyong (when we know it really affected Jiyong when it happened--made him jittery and stuff), I also want to know how he felt when he finally did it.

Also the gestures they made, like it's all natural, it's all normal. When Jiyong offered his hand to be held by Seunghyun... When Seunghyun kissed Jiyong's head... The worry in Jiyong's voice whenever he noticed there's something wrong with Seunghyun, the shared smoking moments and casual talks. Everything is so natural, so normal. It just makes me smile thinking of them being like this. Blurry but normal.

It makes me think of how Seunghyun feels all this time when these things happen-- because we always see it from the ~oblivious Jiyong~ point of view, and Seunghyun knows what he feels towards Jiyong.

(Also, is after this would be their lowest points in 2011? Dae and stuff?)

Thank you so much for updating though. I'm really looking forward to next ones. I hope you'll continue writing this until the end :)
Atenais #6
Chapter 9: I still can't believe this story has so few comments, since you're doing a great work here. Really, some time ago I decided that I wouldn't comment anymore, because looks like the authors really don't care, but I have to comment here, because this is one of my favourite stories right now.

Sometimes I got a little confuse, with the way you work time, with some jumps and I have to struggle to understand what's happening, about which era you're writing about. But the same way it's always nice when I can identify the moment you're writhing about, how I can picture the boys in my head and how I see them acting in your scenarios.

The story is in a very interesting point, where Seunghyun knows something and Jiyong not. I keep thinking if Jiyong, somehow, is trying not remember what happened and if Seunghyun prefers the silence.

Your story sounds realistic, and I really love when I'm reading a canon story that looks realistic and natural.

Thanks for your work and have a Merry Christmas!
tah_dah_kpop #7
Chapter 9: Uh-oh... I wonder what's on Seunghyun's mind...
Atenais #8
Chapter 6: I didn't know that you would talk about Kiko in your story. This story looks more like a band fic than a GTOP fic. I almost don't see any hint that they could be more than just friends.
But it was interesting to see Seunghyun's reaction when Jiyong stole the girl's attention.
Thanks for sharing.
Atenais #9
Chapter 5: I like the way they enjoy being together, sharing their time as friends, but their relationship is still a mystery to me. Sometimes Jiyong looks very calculating, always measuring the way he should act for the sake of his own career and the group. He doesn't look honest and I don't know what to expect of their friendship.
Atenais #10
Chapter 4: I really like to read about them in their time as trainees. These days is hard to find good canon stories (well, it's hard to find GTOP fics in general) and I believe that people find difficult to write about their trainees days.

But I like the way you write, the story looks realistic, I feel some subtleness in their relationship that I can't tell if it's some interest they have for each other.

Thanks for updating!
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