With a trembling hand he pressed the button putting the phone near his ear. A ring was heard to the other side. Once.
Twice.
Third time and he was already preparing to shut it down and forget all about it when... 
"Hello?" a click stopped his breathing. His voice stuck in the back of his throat as the voice gently vibrated in his ear. It was making it hard to breathe and in the same time was calming him. A voice that was telling everything would be ok. Even if it won't.

"Hello?" Kyuhyun repeated confused when he didn't get an answer the first time. He cautiously stood up from the couch, giving a quick kiss and 'I'll be right back' and moved to the other room.
Phone still squeezed in his hand and pressed to his ear he sat on the double bed in the bedroom and waited.

“Hyukjae?”

“H-hello, Kyu.” finally the other spoke up. He didn’t know what to say after that so he muttered without wanting to know the answer. “What are you doing?”
“We were watching a movie.” Kyuhyun said truthfully, there was no point in lying.  
“Are you alone now?”
“Yeah, I move to the bedroom.” he said looking at the wall-clock wondering when Seohyun will start wondering where did he go.  
“Can you talk?”
Kyuhyun sighed painfully. Oh how he wanted to say yes and just lie in the fluffy bed-sheets like before, giving himself to Hyukjae's voice to lull him to sleep sometime past midnight. He wanted to be able to do that again, like he never wanted anything else in his life. But as said already there was no point in lying. To the other or to himself.      
"It's little hard."     
"I see..." Hyukjae chuckled bitterly, paining Kyuhyun even more with how unsure and scared his voice was sounding. “I wanted to hear you voice tonight.”
The brunet knew that kind of tone very well. It meant that Hyukjae was trying hard to keep his tears away fearing he will do something wrong and will be blamed if he let them fall. It meant that he was scared and unsure of himself once again to the point of nearly giving up. And that he needed a tight hug and sweet whispers in the ear. Something that Kyuhyun was used to do. Before.

"Why are your crying." instead he asked softly.
"I just..." hesitantly Hyukjae bit his lips. The nails of his right hand were digging in his palm almost to blood but he didn’t have the energy to care for it now. “I just thought of you tonight.”
“Why?”
“W-we went to the market today. Hae and I…”
“The one near the river.” Kyuhyun asked just for confirmation feeling his chest tighten.
"Yeah..."
 “Was the chicken ajuma still there?” he laughed a little remembering the tiny woman in her colorful apron, smiling to her customers and chatting with them. Hyukjae and she had become friends right away, the lady getting rather fond of the younger male. ‘Aigoo, you seem like you’ll break in two by the first breeze. Kyuhyun-shi, you should feed him better.’
“. . . No, she’s not.”
“Ah." Kyuhyun's smile disappeared on the instant. "I see…”
“Do you not go there?” hesitantly Hyukjae asked.
“No. No Hyukjae, I don’t anymore.”
“Oh.”
A silence. Not an awkward one, the silence between Hyukjae and Kyuhyun was never awkward. Just a time where there're no words for their feelings so they let their breathing, touching and eyes convey the emotions better.
Hyukjae often wonders if Kyuhyun and Seohyung can communicate the same way.

“Is Donghae around you?” suddenly Kyuhyun asked even though he knew the answer to that.
“No. He went to the shop earlier.”
“Without you?” Kyuhyun asked confused. Hyukjae was someone who’s very particular to the food he ate and didn’t let anyone to buy it without him. That’s why they always ended up going to the market together, bickering along the way and in the end spending almost two hours buying for a simple meal.
“I gave him a list with the things I want. He doesn’t get confused like you.” the last part was teasingly added making Kyuhyun grin.
“Good for you then.”
“Yeah.”
. . .

“It’s a little lonely though.”
“Yeah, I know.” Kyuhyun muttered.
It was a little lonely for him too, going there alone since Seohyun was happy with his choices. Sometimes he even laughed at the memory of the time where they were forthright thrown out by the manager for their squabble in front of the fruits section: ‘Red or yellow apples are sweeter?’. He remembered feeling drained every time after such episodes. Now he just felt empty.

“How is Seohyun?” Hyukjae changed the topic suddenly.
“She’s good. She’s still watching the movie while we’re talking.”
“Is it interesting?”
“Yeah, it’s Pan's Labyrinth.”
“Would I like it?”
“No.”
They both laughed. Hyukjae was only for actions movies and comedies. Anything deeper would instantly make him cry or bore him to death. It won’t be that strange if it wasn’t for his choices of books. Kyuhyun still remembered him drown in “War and peace” and reading the whole think for no more than a week. But then refusing to watch ‘Beautiful mind’?
“What would you tell her after that?”
“Probably that it was from work.”
A clear laugh was heard from the other line and Kyuhyun’s heart clenched and jumped at the same time. It was awhile since he heard it.
“Like Siwon would ever call you in the middle of the night.”
“She doesn’t know him so it’s ok.”
“Yeah, you’re right. But don’t lie to her too much, you’re not good at it.”
It was strange how they can talk so easily. Seohyun in the other room, Donghae to the supermarket and they just laughed like nothing was wrong. They teased and joked like there was no other things they wanted to say to each other, to shout at each other’s faces or to cry on each other’s shoulder. It was almost like they had moved on. Almost.

“Would you tell Donghae that we were talking?” after some time Kyuhyun asked.
“No.”
“Why.”
“I don’t want to quarrel with him.”
“Oh. I understand.”

.   .   .

“How are you doing?” Kyuhyu asked knowing that the movie was near its end and he should be fast if he wanted to hear what was the call really about. He knew, if he didn’t asked, Hyukjae would never tell himself. He was like that.
He wonders if Donghae was patient enough to talk to him.
“I’m ok. Found a new job recently. In the television broadcast. It’s pretty cool.”
“Good for you then.”
“It is. Only…”
“Only?”
When he talked again Hyukjae’s voice has reduced to merely a whisper and Kyuhyun could practically hear the big fat tears rolling down his cheek.

“I missed you.”

Three words that Kyuhyun didn’t want to hear, didn't want to utter. Because he knew he didn’t deserve them when Seohyun was happily waiting for her husband in the other room. When Hyukjae was waiting for Donghae to come and lull him to sleep.
Because even if he was feeling the same he couldn't afford to say it. They simply weren't worth for it.
“Aren't you not happy with Donghae?” instead he said slowly, the words struggling to get out of his mouth.
“I am. But I miss you in the same time.”
“Hyuk…”, Kyuhyun sighed.
“Sometimes I think I miss you more than being happy with him.”
Shaking Hyukjae sobbed on the floor near the coffee table in his living room. Silently he prayed for Donghae to not walk in right now because it was too often already, that he needed to explain to him why was he crying without any apparent reason. It was too often he needed to lie to him in eyes while his lover did everything he can to make him stop – kissing him, hugging him, holding him.
Till finally Hyukjae forget the ache and be happy with him again. For a week or maybe even two. Until the night the dreams of Kyuhyun return.
“Hyukjae, we shouldn’t be…”
“Can you at least call me?” with desperate voice the blonde interrupted his ex. His eyes was shut trying to block out everything that surrounded him and somehow move himself to a different dimension.
Kyuhyun hesitated.
“Please?”

“Hyukkie…”

Breathing out Hyukjae smiled how sweet his nickname came out from Kyuhyun’s lips. Soft and husky, only his voice had call him that. Not even his parents or Donghae was using the little name. Only Kyuhyun. Only him.
“Hyukkie, please calm down.” gently Kyuhyun started talking. “Donghae should be home any minute right?”
Hyukjae nodded and even though Kyuhyun couldn’t see him he knew.
“You don’t want to let him see you cry, right? So you need to put yourself together.”
“I don’t want to… Don't want to.” like a child Hyukjae muttered and the elder had to suppress a smile because he was sure, now the blond boy was pouting.
“He will be sad if he sees you cry. He’s always worrying so much about you. I don’t want to cause him that again. Especially now when Siwon gives us so much work to do.”
"You worry more about him than me?" Hyukjae laughed lightly.
"No, I don't." Kyuhyun said all of a sudden sternly. "But you do."
A rustling was heard and Hyukjae had stood up from the floor, dusting off the flecks off his jeans and wiping the tears away.
“You should go too. The movie must be over.”
Like on a cue Kyuhyun heard his wife soft voice calling from the living room: “Kyu, why are you taking so long? Is something wrong?”
“Yeah, it is.”, turning to his phone Kyuhyun stood too. “She’s calling me.”
. . .

“So we must go.”

“Yeah, we must.”

“Thank you, Kyuhyunnie.” Hyukjae whispered softly before shutting the phone quickly.

Beep...

Just like that, without any farewell words and wishes.

Quickly as he was afraid he won’t be able to do it otherwise.

Heey, I finally posted a story ^^^ Well, it's been on my computer for months (like the other five -_-) but I'm glad I finally decided to share it.

Tell me if you like it. Please? I struggled with it, I don't know if I managed to write a proper angst.
As some of you probably already know the idea is from Hinder's Lips of an angel.

I'm in a strange position right now, exams and more exams. And a lot of traveling, I've been to Finland last month. It was magical, especially during the Polar night when the sun never sets. I think it's the perfect country for the summer.

I'm really working on all my stories but I will have finish my university year first. I've been in some kind of block all spring and I hope it's already gone.

Sooo: Comment! Please ^^^

Thanks' for reading.

PS: Sorry about the mistakes, English is not my mother tongue.