After exhausting day at campus for Jessica (running around cafeteria to catch Yoona and Tiffany), Jessica and Taeyeon walk back to dorm together as usual. They walk while link their arm as usual. But one thing unusual is Jessica quietness.  She hasn’t spoke even one word since walk from gate. Taeyeon too not trying to engage conversation for she thought Jessica angry with her and giving her silence treatment. Taeyeon peek secretly at Jessica and saw Jessica’s expression change from time to time and suddenly grab her hair frustatingly.

Today is the most exhausting day in her life, emotionally and physically. Today’s incident makes Jessica realize that her plan to make Taeyeon hers can not be delayed. She is afraid if she wait any longer, someone would take Taeyeon from her side. Although she isn’t sure if Taeyeon likes her too, she sure enough Taeyeon like her physically. Thinking about bathroom’s incident makes her blushed.

Jessica shake her head to compose her self and start thinking a way to confess her feeling. She knitted her brow while thinking deeply. Hmm.. How should I ask her? Romantic way with candle light dinner and singing? No no no.. Jessica shake her head and curled her finger . Too cheesy! Cool way, grab her and said “I like you and I decided you have to be mine wheter you like it or not.”  Jessica once again shake her head and frowning. No no no… I’m a gangster or what? Casual way, with flower and confessed in the park? Jessica grab her hair frustatingly. Argghhhh!!! Why is it so hard to confess?

Taeyeon frowning seeing Jessica frustrating expression. What is it that I did just now that makes her this frustrating with me? I’m the one that pulled right and left and hurt my hand in process, but why is she the one that angry? Taeyeon then puffed her cheeks. Should I start the conversation first? She peek Jessica once again and ask Jessica timidly.

“Love, are you angry?” But to her dismay, Jessica just spacing out ingnoring her question. Taeyeon pouted and  step in front of Jessica. She grabbed Jessica face and forced her to look at Taeyeon in the eye. “Love, are you angry? What did I do? I don’t know what is it that id do but forgive me. It’s my fault so stop ignoring me please.” Taeyeon then throw Jessica her saddest puppy hurt eye.

Jessica snapped back to reality and saw taeyeon’s sad puppy eye. She felt guilty to make Taeyeon sad. She doesn’t mean to ignoring Taeyeon, she was just too deep in thinking that she oblivious to other things.

Jessica smile gently and hold Taeyeon’s hand that hold her face. “I’m not angry Baby Goo. I’m just thinking about something. Why would I angry to you? If I have to angry then the target should be Tiffany, Yoona, and Yuri.” Jessica release her face from taeyeon’s hold and interwined their hand together. She tugged Taeyeon so they could continue their walk.

“What are you thinking about love? And why would you angry with them? Did they do something wrong to you? I think they are good people.” Taeyeon ask Jessica ahile tilt her head. Well she is sure Yuri a good friend and although she just met Yoona and Tiffany today, her instinct said that those two is a good person. Moreover, Jessica is a good person so her friends must be  good people too.

Jessica turn her head to taeyeon and raised her brow. “They violated you. Nobody could violated you except me. And you only said they are a good person because they bought you ice cream and jelly worm.” Jessica then release her hold on Taeyeon’s hand and crossed her hand.

“Speaking of ice cream, hmph now I remember. I should angry with you, why would you kiss Yonna and Tiffany and let them feed and wipe your lips? That’s my privilege! Hmmph!” Jessica then turn her back on Taeyeon feeling irritated.

Taeyeon feel flabbergaster with Jessica’s burst. “Love, why are you angry? You said friend could kiss each other on the lips and I’m only kiss their cheeks.  And what do you mean you are the only one that could violated me?”

Jessica faced Taeyeon and whining,” Baby Goo, I have told you right, I’m the only friend that you could kiss! No one else.. Your lips is reserved only for me. And I’m the only one that could violated you because I don’t like it if other people touch you.” Jessica then stomped her foot childishly while pouting like a child that her toy taken forcely.

Taeyeon look at Jessica and smile amusedly. She secretly like this whinning and possessive side of Jessica. She feel it’s cute and somehow she feel loved. Taeyeon hold Jessica’s hand, interwined it and placed it on her heart. “And why don’t you like it?” taeyeon asked.

Jessica opened and closed trying to answer but she can’t say it. She is jealous. But how could she said it? So Jessica sighed dejectedly and hung down her head and pull Taeyeon to continue walking. She mumble how dense Taeyeon to asked her this kind of question. How could a model student that top all her subject can’t take her signal.

Taeyeon worriedly look at Jessica. What now? Why is she look sad? I didn’t say anything wrong right? It’s just that she act like a jealous lover. She isn’t jealous right? Or is she? But why would she? It’s not like she like me right? Or is she? Taeyeon smile imagining Jessica jealous and Jessica like her.

Taeyeon quickly shake her head to snapped back to reality. No no.. Why would someone as perfect as her like me? I’m nobody. Maybe she is just jealous because things that I usualy did only to her I did to other person. Yes, that’s must be it. Taeyeon turn her head to Jessica and see Jessica still look sad. Now they have arrived at the dorm and go to Taeyeon’s room. Maybe I should ask her.

When they have sit on Taeyeon’s bed, Taeyeon ask hesistantly. “Love, are you jealous?” Jessica shocked hearing taeyeon’s question . She look at taeyeon wide eye. Oh my God! Is Taeyeon realize my feeling? But why did she look hesistant? She doesn’t like me that way, is that it? Thinking about it makes Jessica’s eyes teary.

“Are you feel disgusted knowing my feeling, Baby Goo? Please don’t hate me. If you don’t feel the same way, just pretend that this incident never happen.” Jessica answer while crying. Jessica feel rejected even before her confession.

Taeyeon confused with Jessica’s outburst. What feeling is she  talking about? Don’t tell me, she like me? Taeyeon needs time to think all about it. Relationship is something serious. She doesn’t want to have a relationship like her parents. She has to think about it and maybe she should ask for Yuri’s advice.

But right now she need to calm Jessica. She hug Jessica tightly and pat her back gently. “Shh.. Don’t cry, Love. When did I ever reject your feeling? Calm down, Love. I thought you like me as friend not that way that’s why  I asked you like that.”

Taeyeon’s answer brought hope to Jessica. She snuggled her head to Taeyeon’s neck and hug Taeyeon tighter. She is afraid Taeyeon would leave her. It is true that Taeyeon didn’t reject her but Taeyeon didn’t say she wants to be her girlfriend.

“So, are you saying that you’re feeling the same?” Jessica ask while sniffling. Taeyeon sighed and loosen the embrace. She hold Jessica’s face and wipe the tears using her thumb. “ Love, you know how my parents treat me like I’m a toy right?” Jessica nod her head.

“I’m from a broken family. Although my parents aren’t divorce, there isn’t love in their relationship. They use each other to fulfill their needs. My father married my mother because of her beauty and my mother married my father because of money. They are not divorced because they want to maintain their image, a happy family. Not only my parents, my uncle, aunty, cousin’s marriages are all ed up. And they treat their child like . That’s why I don’t believe in love and relationship. I’m not rejecting you, Love. Just give me time to think, please?” Taeyeon hold Jessica’s hand and pleaded.

Jessica nod her head understandingly. She knows Taeyeon’s parents are a meanie but she doesn’t know Taeyeon has this trauma. If she is in Taeyeon’s position, it is possible she would act like her. She doesn’t want to push Taeyeon. All that she wants to do is confessing her feeling. Now that Taeyeon has known, she is willing to wait for taeyeon’s answer.

Taeyeon smile gratefully for Jessica’s understanding. It’s not only her trauma that makes her hesistant. Her parents despise same gender relationship. Is she ready to rebel against her parents? Is it worth it? Taeyeon always obey her parents all her life despite their how they treat her. Her brain has been programmed to always obey her parents, this time her brain and heart has a clash. Her heart ask her to go for it but her brain ask her to obey her parents.

“Thank you, Love. Let’s sleep for now. Don’t think about anything, let’s just enjoy our nap.” Taeyeon pull Jessica to her embrace and lie together on the bed. Jessica hug taeyeon and place her head on Taeyeon’s neck. She inhale Taeyeon’s scent and feel sleepy. Taeyeon pull blanket on top of their body and snuggle closer to Jessica. In no time, Jessica fall asleep. When Taeyeon sure Jessica has sleep, she get out from her room and called Yuri for advice.

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Is it wise to call Yuri, Taenggoo? Aigoo…