“Her melody moved my soul, her silence sundered my body. Her beauty captivated my heart. But, that was that. I couldn’t do anything about it. She was gone before I knew it.” he says to almost a whisper while looking down. He didn’t want the kids to see him cry as he usually does while thinking of her.

“Xian gege what happened to her? The lady that captivated your heart?” one of the kids ask interestedly.

“You’ll understand the reason more if I tell you the story from the beginning. And that is the day we met up until the end of us.” he answers him and they nod.

“So...” he began.

“So the day we met was an unlikely surprise. She was a student back then. Studying to be a business manager while I was already destined to be the CEO of my parents company. I was asked to supervise the project my parent’s company was doing for her school.As I was on my way to the parking lot, she bumped into me causing the cup of coffee I was holding to spill all over me. I was pissed that time but she looked so vulnerable and sorry that I couldn't make myself loathe her for what she's done. We went our separate ways after exchanging apologies. I couldn't stop thinking about her after that. The way her eyes shined so bright even if she did have fear shown in them. The way her hair flowed smoothly from her shoulders. After two days of constant thinking about her, I went back to the university she's studying at. We met again but it wasn't a very pleasant meeting. Her boyfriend at the time was such an overly jealous guy that even if we just talked for a little while, he would get mad. She avoided me after that probably because she wanted to show that she was faithful to him. I couldn't help but to be envious of him because he had such a faithful girl that really loves him. If only I can find a girl like that. It was months before we saw each other again but I never forgot about her. She was still the one I kept thinking about. It was as if my mind was caught in the charm that was her. I was clearly aware that I was sane still but the spell of love made me doubt myself. The day we finally see each other again was when she was single again. Back in the game of finding and gaining love. I was literally squealing in delight. I could tell she was much happier now than before. We spent the day talking and getting to know each other more. I didn't think it was possible to be so close to someone that resembles an angel and still be able to keep calm. We agreed to meet up again some other day after that. Then again after that and again and again. After a year of courting her she finally agreed to be my girl. Officially this time. My family loved her to death. Her family adored me. They would always fawn over how cute I was. I didn't mind it though because she was an angel and I had to keep up with her, right? We were together for two years before every spark deteriorated. It wasn't me but her. I still couldn't get myself to break up with her when she was always pushing me away. There was an invisible force that was holding me back. I was also held back by the memories we made for the past two years that were the best two years of my life. One night, she agreed to actually go out on a date with me again, we were still lovers but we rarely saw each other in person anymore. It was mostly calls and texts. I thought she needed space so I gave her some. I never stopped loving her though. I could tell she didn’t too the minute I saw her again after a month. She looked paler and acted weaker than the last time I saw her. I didn’t question it further though because I knew that she would tell me what’s up when she was ready. The date was fun. I felt the same feeling I did when we had our first date for the very first time. We ended the night with a walk on the park while holding hands and eating ice cream. She stopped to sit on a bench near the water fountain that was located on the middle of the park. I followed her and sat next to her. “Baby, what’s on your mind?” I quietly whispered to her, finishing the last of my ice cream. “Xian...I t..think we should break up. I don’t want to hold you back anymore.” she sadly muttered and I turned to look at her, biting her lips in order not to cry. I saw the tears forming in her eyes. “But you’re not holding me back....why would you think that?” I said to her as I slowly reached for her hands. “I don’t want to keep your love when I’m going to leave you soon anyway. That just makes me feel selfish.” she voiced out as she couldn’t contain her tears anymore and sobbed loudly. I hugged her and her hair gently. “Leave me?” I said still hugging her. “Yes, I...I h...a..a...have cancer Xian.” she stuttered and I held her tightly without letting her go. We didn’t break up after that even if she wanted to. I stood by her even when her condition got worse. It hurt me to see her suffering so much but she still had a smile on her face. She kept telling me it was all because of me. After seven months, she underwent several surgeries but the recent one she took officially took her away from me. I sobbed for her. For her funeral. For the first month she was gone. For the six months after her death.”

“I was a complete mess after that. I was not acting like myself. It was as if she was the one holding my conscience. All the sanity I had was slowly exiting itself out of my existence. You can tell gege really loves her.” I finished explaining to the kids the story of me and her.

“How did you become okay again after that Xian gege?” Jason, my favorite one out of the kids asked.

“She left me a letter that I got after seven months after her death. It was specifically instructed to be handed to me after six months. I still have the letter, the last letter, she will ever give me. I became better because of that letter. She shaped me to become who I am today and I’m thankful for that because I know I have the ability to love deeply. And I learned the meaning of letting go because of her.” I tell them as I rummaged through my backpack for the letter. I opened it up once I found it and showed it to the kids.

Dear Xie honey,

     Six months have passed since I passed away, am I right? Haha of course I am since I wanted this to be given to you after six months. There I gave you six months to lose yourself in sadness. I remembered you told me that it usually takes you six months to let go of someone. I hope that you’ve moved on now baby. I don’t want you to stop your life because of me. I don’t want you to stop loving because of me. I know you’re going to go argue about how you can’t and that it isn’t easy but try for me okay baby? I’d feel better in heaven knowing that you’re happy on earth. That’s all I ever could ask for. It may hurt me for a while knowing that I’m giving you to someone else but you deserve it. You deserve it because you are a wonderful human being with a kind and trustworthy heart. I hope you find someone else that could love you as much as I did or more. I do love you Xie honey and I still do in heaven. I won’t wait for you here because I want you to find someone who you will love in earth and in heaven. And it can’t be me. Let go of me and find your happiness. Please. Gain back your sanity and live life like I did.

Love,

Kim