Yeey, first chapter! I hope, you'll like it!

English is not my native language, so if you find any grammar or spelling-mistakes, you can keep them xDD But be nice to them ^^

Please write comments ^^

Disclamer: Non of the mentioned K-Pop Idols belong to me (sadly TT__TT xD)

So, let's start!!!!!

I felt tired. I hate it if Jonghyun and I fight. I even forgot the reason! I snuggled in my blanked. Why am I like this? Lying on my bed and crying… Well he is my best friend. I don’t want to fight with him! I think I should try calling him… I scanned my room with my eyes to seach for my mobile phone. As I discovered it, lying on my chair, I got up to get it. I knew Jjongs number by heart so I typed it in and called him. “Yes…?” He answered. His voice sounded tired. “J-jjong? It’s me…” I held my breath. I was afraid he would hang up, but he didn’t. “What do you want?” I breathed out. “I want to talk with you… I hate it if we are fighting…” I heard him snoring. “I guess you forgot why I don’t want to talk to you, right?! Let me give you one hint: Jessica!” Ah! Now I remember… Jjong told me, he fell in love with her and I told him that I like her, too. But to be honest, now I don’t like her anymore. I don’t really know why but she isn’t my type of girl anyway. I may liked her but… that’s past! I should clear that! “Jjong… it’s past. I don’t like her anymore. You can have her. She likes you even more than me. So… go, get her!” Then Jjong got quiet. After around one minute he finally said something. “You… don’t like her anymore? Do you think I belive you? I know one day I’ll find you two, hugging and kissing! Just shut up, Kibum!” He really hurt me with his words. Why doesn’t he belive me? “Jjong… please believe me! I – don’t – like – her!” Then it was quiet for another minute. “Ok… I do belive you.” I smiled. “Thank you~ Tell me, do you – maybe – I don’t know… have a sleepover with me?” I want him to trust me… I could never betray him, he is my best friend! He agreed and I partied in my head. This weekend would be awesome! After around ten minutes we stopped talking to each other and I hung up. I rolled around on my bed! I was so happy! Jjong would sleep here at the weekend! Then I looked around and got scared. My room was totally a mess! I went over to my CD-player and the music. Then I started cleaning. After some time my room looked suitable. I went down to our cellar to get the air-mattress. Today was Friday so Jjong will come tomorrow at 10 o’clock. After everything was set, I went to bed because it was already late. I texted Jjong a short “Good Night!” and fell asleep. The next day I woke up at 7 o’clock. I ate breakfast, dressed myself and then Jjong came. We talked a little bit and got over our fight. I told him that I don’t have feelings for Jessica anymore. And that I fell in love with someone else. What should I had said instead of that? I am not in love with anyone, but because I said that, he finally belived me. But then the teasing started. He asked me all the time who I fell in love with. I evaded to answer and changed the subject. “Hey, let’s go for a walk! There is a playground near here, let’s go there!” I saw that he thought for a minute and then he nodded. I told my mother where we would go and said goodbye. We put on our shoes and started to walk down the hill to the playground. “So… who do you like?” Jonghyun asked and I groaned. Not again! Just because I wanted him to stop and I was curious of his reaction I told him a name. “You really want to know, hu? Ok, ok, I confess. But… Jjong… don’t judge me… please? It’s Kai…” Kai? Seriously? Why did I mention his name? Ok, I may had a little crush on him but that’s past. Now I was really afraid of Jjongs reaction. I mean I just told him a BOY name, and of course he knows Kai too. “Kai? You are…? I see…” I shaked. I ruined it! Why did I said that?? “Forget it…” I told him and started running. I just had the feeling that I had to run away. After some time of running I sat down on a bench and waited. For Jjong? I didn’t know. “Kibum?” I heard him shout. I just looked at the leafes and the grass below me. It was really green. “Kibum…” Only now I noticed that Jjong had found me and sat beside me. “Kibum… it’s ok… I don’t jugde you! You know, my own cousin is lesbian! I don’t have a problem with that…” Suddenly he hugged me tightly. I started to cry softly. He is such a caring friend! “L-let’s go…” I said and got up. He was kinda confused but then he followed me. We reached the playground and sat down on the swings. I swinged a little bit. “Kibum… I don’t even know if I am fully hetero, so don’t be afraid…” He told me and I widened my eyes. Really? Kim Jonghyun, Mr. Womanizer, may be biual? Suddenly an elderly woman with two kids arrived and they started to play around. Jjong stood up. Does he want to go? He took my hand and lead me away from the family. We walked over the green grass to an secluded place of the playground. I sat down and started to play with a little kitten. It was really cute! It had small white paws and a black fur. Jjong sat down beside me. He laid his head on my shoulder and I jerked. He suddenly caressed my hair and over my skin. What is he doing? What the hell is he doing? “Jjong? W-what…?” “Kibum… you are the best friend I ever had. You accept me with all my mistakes and you don’t jugde me for what ever I do. That’s why you are really important to me.” He said with an straight voice. Wow. I didn’t know that I mean so much to him. Suddenly I felt something soft in my neck. H-his lips? WHAT THE HELL? I pushed him away. “Jjong… stop doing that! I- don’t want it!” “What’s wrong? We are friends!” He asked. Did he really just asked what’s wrong with kissing my neck?? Hell I only want that my futur lover does this! “Jjong! K-kissing my neck… I only want my future lover doing this to me… not some friend!” He smiled. “It’s ok. Come here.” He hugged me tightly and me softly. S-stop I can’t take this anymore! I pushed him away and ran to a place, I knew since I was a little boy. Next to the playground is a small river which you can cross with three steps. I jumped over it and hid myself on the other side. Then I started crying. What’s wrong with me? Why does my heart beat so fastly? I can’t… like him, can I? I wondered if Jjong would come and so he did. "Kibum... please come back! Let's go home..." I sobbed and nodded. I decided to ignore my feelings. I hope they will disappear. I jumped back over the river and Jjong and me walked home. We walked up an hill as Jonghyun said: “Kibum…” I turned around and faced him. “Jjong… I don’t want you to do this…” He looked at me shortly and nodded softly. “I see. So let’s just forget it… Let’s talk about our usual stuff like movies and music, ok?” Jjong asked and I nodded. That’s the best opportunity. The following hours went well, but as we laid in our beds, I in mine and Jjong on an mattress nexto my bed, I had to mention our topic from earlier this day. We talked a little bit, then he suddenly took my hand. I tried to loose his grip but he gapped my hand just tighter. After some time, we started to sleep this way.

I slept like a baby until I heard some strange noises. It was a faster breathing. I was startled. Is something wrong with Jonghyun? “Jjong?” I whispered softly. I turned in his direction and got scared as I saw him. He breathed heavily and fast and I was totally afraid because this situation reminded me of my mum’s illness, the reason she had to go to the hospital once. “Jjong…” I took his hand and his cheeks softly. “Wake up… wake up!” I said. I was so afraid that I even started to cry. After some time, his respiration went normal and he woke up. “Kibum…” “Jjong, what was that? Are you ok? Please, please, never do that again… I was totally scared!!” I told him and hold his hand. “It’s ok, that’s just something that happen to me once a while. Don’t be afraid!” I gulped. “Do you want to sleep in my bed? So I can look over you, and wake you up if somethings happening again…” He refused and we tried to sleep again, but Jonghyun had many attacks and I was totally afraid, but I managed it to wake him up all the time he had one. Then there was a time, he hadn’t had any and we could sleep. But well, I couldn’t. I had the strongly desire for his touches. I let my arm slip down from my bed again and again and pretended to be asleep. I noticed that Jjong asked me if I am asleep but I answered nothing. Suddenly he grapped my hand and snuggled up to it. My heart beated fastly. Then a strange plan formed itself in my head. Shoud I really do that? But it was really early, around 1:30 AM so I couldn’t think clearly. Ok, I’ll do it! I rolled around and pretended to have a nightmare. I pretended to wake up, crying a little bit. I knew Jjong was still awake so it was clear that he would ask me what’s wrong. So he did. “Kibum? Is everything ok? Shhht, it was just a nightmare… don’t be afraid.”