--

He raises his frostbitten fingers to his mouth, vainly attempting to warm them with his breath. How have they not fallen off and frozen over yet, Jiyong doesn’t know. He only knows he must continue to walk, aimlessly, in this arctic landscape.

Here and there are some memories that fly past him, vague remembrances of times better than now. Glimpses of fire, warmth, family.

Where did they go?

Jiyong doesn’t remember when they disappeared, replaced by the cold and ice, but he knows for some reason he knows it’s his fault.

In the winds of his world, Jiyong is the only one standing, all others left or… dead.

Footprints suddenly stop in the snow, halting because Jiyong’s spotted something.

A silhouette – but that’s not possible. Perhaps another ruin of a house that could maybe provide him some cover from the biting blizzard that has enveloped his life.

Jiyong’s steps become more frequent and farther apart, the thought of relative warmth and shelter a concept foreign to his chilled reality. He must reach this sanctuary before it disappears as well, before he’s left again by himself in the never-ending whiteness of crystal.

“Hello!”

Jiyong’s feet stop.

“Hello, is that someone over there?”

He can’t believe his ears. When was the last time he heard anything other than the snow crushed under him and the howling gale?

It can’t be –

But it is.

There’s a man, standing there in the blizzard, a pillar amidst the storm. “Hey, are you going to come over here? I’m lonely!” the person jokes, gesturing Jiyong to walk.

Dazed, he does just that. “W-Who?” he croaks, just now realizing he hasn’t said anything for as long as he can remember.

“I’m Seunghyun,” the man says, extending a gloved hand. “You look cold, why are you wandering around with only a thin jacket?”

Jiyong can’t speak.

Why is there a person here?

Why is he acting so… friendly?

How did he even get here, into this icy biome?

Why did he come?

He’s snapped out of his string of questions as a thick coat is draped over him, giving him the semblance of warmth for the first time in his life. Looking up, he sees the man smiling at him, dimples framing his mouth.

“I brought an extra jacket in case anyone needed one, and it looks like you really do!” he says, patting the heavy fabric that’s now covering Jiyong’s body. “What’s your name?”

Jiyong looks up at the man with round eyes, pulling the cover closer around him. “J-Jiyong,” he whispers, looking at his feet. “Thank you for the coat.”

Seunghyun smiles again, one of those blinding smiles, and grabs Jiyong’s hand, pulling him to somewhere. “Come with me, we should get you out of the cold.”

Out of the cold?

Is there any place where there isn’t cold?

Jiyong lets himself be led to a door, one he’s never noticed before. How could he wander for so many decades and yet miss this? Seunghyun swings it open with ease, revealing a room.

A room, not a ruin.

An intact building, complete with a fireplace and placemats, and even with a bay window.

“Sit,” Seunghyun waves to one of the cushions. “Make yourself at home.”

Home…

The only home Jiyong’s ever known was the snow and ice of his world, not this beautifully warm sanctuary. “Thank you,” he says softly, playing with the pillow under him.

“Don’t mention it,” Seunghyun says brightly, pouring steaming liquid into cups. “Have some tea, it’ll help you defrost a little.”

Jiyong takes the cup gratefully, sipping it and feeling the nectar slide down his throat, warming his entire body. He doesn’t remember a time he’s ever drunken anything, much less something steaming like this is. How did Seunghyun manage to conjure this up?

“Who are you?” Jiyong blurts suddenly, looking at Seunghyun curiously. “How did you find me?”

Seunghyun smiles again at Jiyong, ruffling his hair. “I’m a passerby in your life, and I simply found you,” he says, tapping his chin. “Or you could say you found me, since you were the one who walked over.”

Jiyong continues to stare at Seunghyun, only now noticing his beauty. His face is chiseled, jawbone strong and eyes firm, but there’s a brightness and warmth that Jiyong’s been longing for his entire life, manifested in him. He wonders how he himself looks, because he hasn’t checked his reflection since…

Since when?

Seunghyun gestures at the window, drawing Jiyong’s attention away from his forgotten memories and to the world outside. To his surprise, there’s no snow or wind in sight. In fact, the sky is completely clear, blue with white fluffy clouds. People in numbers Jiyong’s never seen wander about, stopping at shop windows to peer in and gaze at products. Mothers with their children in tow, fathers with sons, friends with friends and people – people with more people are there, on the streets.

Streets.

Pavement.

When was the last time Jiyong’s walked on anything other than snow and ice?

Where has this been all his life?

“Seunghyun,” Jiyong asks, putting his hand to the window. “Who are you?”

Seunghyun smiles, showing off his dimples. “A passerby.”

--

In the duration of less than a week, Jiyong’s learned more than he has in his entire life.

He’s found the meaning of friendship, and has even met a few people other than Seunghyun.

He’s experienced the feeling of warmth…

And fear.

Fear that this will all pass by – did Seunghyun not say he was simply a “passerby”?

What will he do once he’s felt this glow he’s always longed for be swept away again, back into the whiteness of snow and hail?

Jiyong tries to block these thoughts out.

It’s not going to happen, he assures himself.

Seunghyun… Seunghyun wouldn’t just pass me by.

Of course not.

He wouldn’t just bring me up to this summit of happiness just to push me off the tip.

Never.

“Ji?” Seunghyun calls, bringing him back to reality. “Were you listening?”

Jiyong shakes his head truthfully, smiling sheepishly in apology. “Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts.”

“It’s alright,” Seunghyun says, eyes crinkling to half-crescents. “I was just saying we should go outside today.”

Jiyong’s breath hitches just at the mention of that – to be back in the warm sun, under the clear sky is a luxury. A dream. His most wanted wish.

“Yes!” he says excitedly, standing up from his seat. “Let’s go right now!”

Seunghyun laughs, a deep baritone laugh. “Hold up Ji, you have to change first. You’re still in those tatters of clothes I found you in!”

Jiyong pouts, pulling at the said rags. “I’ve already taken so much from you, I couldn’t possibly—” Jiyong tries to argue, only to get fabric pushed into his face.

“The bathroom is the second door on the right,” Seunghyun says, laughing. “Just change already, we’re going soon!”

Jiyong sighs, gripping the cloth in his hands. “Thank you,” he says for the nth time. “Thank you for everything.”

“No problem, Ji.”

 

Jiyong didn’t know it then, but that trip was the catalyst of it all, the point when everything began to fade.

Jiyong remembers something similar in his memories, someone who came to save him from his hell. A faceless woman, leaving in a flash of red.

The smell of burning rubber…

 

Seunghyun led the way as they trekked into the sunshine, Jiyong’s hand firmly in his grasp as always.

But the grip slackened, Jiyong remembers.

It fell away when someone came, a woman. A woman, a beautiful specimen of a person.

Perfect.

They were perfect, together.

Their laughter rung together like instruments in a duet, her smile rivaling the brightness of his…

From then on, that was the topic.

That woman, the perfect one. The beautiful one. That was all he spoke about, nothing else. And with every one of his rambles about her, it seemed the world around him was fading, becoming transparent.

It became increasingly difficult to catch his attention…

“She – I saw her again, this time at the café…”

“Seunghyun.”

“She was wearing the dress I bought her, the red one.”

“Seunghyun!”

“It was so beautiful on her, so breathtakingly –”

“Seunghyun!” Jiyong cries, putting both his hands on the table. “Seunghyun!”

Slowly, his eyes travel from some point on the wall to Jiyong’s face. “Hm?”

“Seunghyun,” Jiyong says brokenly. “You’re fading…”

“Her hair… is always perfect…”

--

Jiyong’s grasping.

He’s tugging, with all his might.

He’s trying his best to hold on to this beautiful world, but every effort he puts out is swept away in an instant.

He can feel the biting chill again – it’s at his back. He can see that same door they came in from, at the rear end of the little room that’s become his home. Tables and placemats have lost their color, even the bright blue sky outside has faded to a forlorn gray. It’s frightening, and the worst part is Seunghyun can’t even see it.

“She looked at me again today,” he says dreamily. “I think I might ask her out.”

Out…

Outside.

We should never have gone, Jiyong thinks selfishly. If we didn’t go that one time, you would still be here.

I would still be here.

It’s pulling him away, the force of the door.

The frost covered door, cold metal so out of place in the warmth of Seunghyun’s house. Only now can Jiyong see that he’s that door, he’s the out-of-place element in Seunghyun’s life. No wonder everything’s going away, swept in the waves of time. A passerby, indeed.

Suddenly, it flies open.

The door that seemed would never open again rattles on its hinges as it’s violently ripped open, the cold winds of his world suddenly invading the calmness of Seunghyun’s sanctuary.

“Seunghyun!” Jiyong cries, gripping onto his small tea table in order not to get in by the gale. “Seunghyun…!”

Jiyong’s look of pain as he’s thrown back into the arctic tundra is missed by that said man, his savior.

 

His expression, indeed, was missed – but not his existence.

Things go on as usual in Seunghyun’s universe, Jiyong can see that through the small porthole on the icy metal door.

It’s cold.

Jiyong’s left in the tatters he started with, but now instead of walking he’s waiting at the door, peering into its peephole. Hoping he can catch Seunghyun’s attention somehow, to get him to open it again, to let him back into the paradise of life.

Just seeing him, however, walking around his house, pouring tea for people, laughing, talking though he can’t hear it, is enough to make Jiyong feel warm inside.

Just a little.

He starts seeing that beauty in Seunghyun’s house from time to time, coming in to talk to him, to laugh with him and sometimes even…

It’s too painful to say.

Jiyong wishes he was on the other side of the door, in Seunghyun’s embrace.

But even then, those dreams, those hopes begin to fade.

The door becomes decreasingly tangible from day to day, until…

It disappears.

Gone, without a trace.

Forever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lonely and cold,

Those two words… describe and embody the entirety of Jiyong’s existence.

There used to be a man, a man who brought warmth and light to his world, but he’s passed.

Just a passerby, an unexpected variable in the constant frozen climate of his world.

Simply an aberration.

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