Ten fingers. A gift from God that I use to present you with a little gift of my own. You’ve always loved this piece, haven’t you? Why do you love things so sad? The rhythm of this poignant tune sways your soul, you say, especially when played by my skillful ten fingers. These ten fingers that long to hold your ten between each one of them, the ten fingers you kiss so tenderly when we make love, the same ten fingers that are grasping onto everything that your smell lingers on, unwilling to let go.

Nine letters. There are nine letters in your name that I love writing next to mine because that is where it belongs. How is it possible for words spelled with mere nine letters to sound this sweet? I love your name, do you know that? It has become my prayer, the name I would call this song I play on black and white keys. It is the name that falls from my lips when I am all alone, in despair and wanting rescue, something you have always given me. The name I want to whisper in the night and hear an answer to, so please don’t leave me.

Eight lines. There are eight lines in total, four at each corner of your beautiful eyes. I know. I count them every night when you are sleeping. Have you already aged that much, my love? It seems only like yesterday that you stumbled into my life, brought to me by music, the same music you wish to accompany you as you leave. The melodies are coming faster and I see your strong but weak hand joining my two, playing a stray note here and there, matching me perfectly. Like you have in every way in my life. I will play this song as many times as you wish, but I beg of you to stay and listen to them, please.

Seven notes. They are all we need to make beautiful music. We should know. We made it for most of our lives until the time came for us to step down and make way for the younger ones. But do you know this, my love? That the sound of you breathing is the saving grace that has kept me going when I thought I was about to falter from my destined path. You have been with me every step of the way so that we could be at this point of our lives now, together and even more in love, if that is even possible. You’ve held me up on your shoulders my whole life and I hold no qualms against you resting against mine now. Lie down, love, and keep me close, just don’t slip away from me, alright?

Six months. The duration, in which our lives have been so erratic, so confusing. I have been so confused, my love. You are my everything and to be told that I would lose my everything in such short a time, I could not understand. Because I have forgotten what it feels like to have no one to chastise me when I go to bed late after work, to dry my hair like one would a child when I leave the shower, to make love to me passionately in rhythm to the sounds of thunders during thunderstorms. I do not want to know what it would be like to not hear rerun football matches on the television early in the morning, to not chase after you around the house to get you to wear a tie, to not feed you pieces of capsicum that you loathe so much when I order pizza. These are the things that made my life perfect and telling me that I would lose it all in six months to an unseen enemy; it is such a cruel thing to do.

Five friends. We’ve been the closest friends in the world, the five of us. Ups and downs, thrills and spills, we’ve seen it all together. Do you remember the pain we felt when we had to part, my love? We were so lost even when we knew just what we had to do; move on. These are the friends that are begging you to stay along with me. Please, my love, spare us this pain. I see your strong but weak hand fall away from the keys, leaving my song flawed. I move to fix it because you deserve nothing but the best. Why is your hold around my waist so weak, my love? Why is your skin so cold against mine? I see the paleness of your skin against mine even in this darkness that shrouds us and threatens to make its way into my heart. I suppress my tears, as the music winds up in a dramatic climb that moves my heart with its sadness, so that you wouldn’t have to spill any of your own.

Four words. They made up a sentence that changed our lives forever. I remember that day like it was yesterday. That day you gave me the honour of being your rightful other half, the proud owner of your heart, the friend that became more than just a friend. The chilled metal band pressing against my side is a joyful reminder of how we have become one and the same. But now there is that threat, that I know I can do nothing about, that will pull us apart. I do not want to give you up but you already know that I would have to, don’t you? It is the reason you are here listening to me play your favourite sonata. This is the way you have chosen to go away from me, but not completely because you are entwined in every note I play, every key I press.

Three kisses. You place them on my arm, my shoulder and my neck. Why are they so soft, my love? Are they your whispers of goodbye? Are they your promises of eternal love to me even in death? Or are they simply something for me to hold onto, until the time comes that I must go as well and I could see you? Do you see the light already, my love, for I am not prepared to let you go. I know that we’ve had a full life, a happy, meaningful one and that in itself is more than what one could ask for. Still, I need you, my love. I still need you to be my stronghold, my pillar, my strength, because I have none to give to you. No, you say even if you do not say it in words, you have given me everything. The first tears betray my strong façade and they fall upon the black keys, glistening in the faint light of the moon.

Two breathes. Just two more, my love. And then another two. And again another two. Would you do that for me? Or is it too hard for you, my love? I suppose it is, considering the struggle you have to put yourself through to inhale just once. But I am selfish. I need you to inhale just two more times. And then two more. And again another two. It is painful for me too but I keep playing, feeling the music slow down as I reach the ending of this sonata that you have loved so much. I brace myself for the pain, knowing that this is unstoppable, that I must let you go, that God has allowed me so much time to spend with someone as loving as you and now it is time he brought you back to his side.

One last breathe.

One final lingering, daunting note.

One heart of mine and now it’s gone.

(A/N) Could you guess who 'I' is? I think I gave it away at nine... Hehehe...Thank you for reading! <3